Snippet 44

Jaune the Summoner 5

Genre: Humor

Pairs: Lenora, Dragonslayer,

Parody: RWBY/X-overs

AU-Type: Canon-eqsue AU

Tags: Summoner!Jaune, Jaune is still learning, Slapstick aplenty, Likeable (to the readers) Jaune, Comedic Plotline, Reverse Summoning, Salem is a bit of a Punch Clock Villain, Team AMCE antics

Jaune Arc was a huntsman-in training actively making strides to improve himself and he felt that he could stand by his team's side and put in his all. He found himself able to craft his own Grimm to bring into battle much to the ire of Ozpin. The emerald wiz found himself repulsed yet intrigued that Salem was brought into the fray and even let him learn from her. It was rather amusing that when Port give the class an assignment on the history of Grimm, Jaune summoned Salem to teach them.

"I can't even believe Jaune did that." Ozpin said having a headache just thinking of it. "Why did she even wear that teacher's outfit? To spite me?!"

He needed more whiskey in his coffee and possibly a vacation. The day for him could not possibly get worse.

(In the cafeteria, Saturday morning)

Various teams gathered in the cafeteria for a hefty breakfast, as Jaune was sitting with his usual crew. His normal morning was going in smokes when he felt a pull.

"Uh guys, I think I'm being reversed summoned!" Jaune said warning his team.

Before he was taken, Yang took his hand vanishing with his in the process leaving the team to wonder who was calling him.

"You think they'll be all right?" Ren asked.

"Our fearless leader and his lady will be fine. What's the worst that happen?" Nora said.

"Plenty of things!" Cinder said from across the lunchroom.

She was waving a palm branch to fan Amber who had a smug grin on her face. Mercury and Emerald were enjoying themselves thanks to their new leader. Merc was finally allowed to breakdance to his hip-hop music and Cinder couldn't ruin his boombox. Emerald could shamelessly ogle Cinder without her threatening her.

"Shut up and get to feeding me." Amber said with a glare.

Cinder got the try of grapes with a pout and a groan as she began feeding Amber.

"It's good to be the maiden." Amber said smugly.

-JTS-

Jaune and Yang found themselves in the interior of a dark and spooky castle with the painted walls red as blood.

"Salem. Definitely Salem." Jaune thought as there was the queen of the Grimm on her throne.

What marked his as odd was she was not in usual black robe, but in more casual wear.

"Welcome young summoner. It seems the reverse summon function works well. Good, because I need you here for something. And I suppose the drag along can help." Salem said getting up.

"With what exactly? Taking over the world?" Yang asked.

"Oh please, I don't even want that. You think I spend all way focusing on that. I have hobbies and other things to do. Trust me, if Ozpin and I wanted to kill other, we would have already. I'm only doing this because it's my job to maintain the order. There must be one of creation and one of destruction." Salem said knowingly. "Besides I'm taking the day off today to get to know my protégé better. So, I figured we'd spend the day and maybe you might learn something."

Yang did not like that look Salem had, but Jaune was oblivious to this excited at the prospect. The two were led to a room with comfy chairs and enough video games to convince a gamer that they could have an addiction.

"This is all yours?!" Yang said shocked.

"Yup, all mine. Classics and the modern stuff. Sometimes it's a day in here or it's a week." Salem said plopping down on her couch.

"Wow, for someone who wants to destroy humanity, you got quite the collection." Jaune said plopping down next to her.

"That's basically my job. It'd be boring if I destroyed humanity, and my cronies know that. Except for Cinder's group. Glad, she's been neutered." Salem said flipping on her TV. "So, Dust Kart 8 Deluxe, anyone?"

"And you're proven yourself cooler than Ozpin!" Jaune said getting a controller.

Back at Ozpin, the emerald wiz screamed in anger that someone called Salem better than him. In a fit of anger, his grip on his mug tightened enough to crack it. Yang joined in and she had to admit that Salem was cool. However, there was one question on her mind.

"Hey Salem, what happened to Summer Rose?" Yang asked.

"Funny story. She did come here to fight me, but I wasn't interested in dying. I didn't want to kill her because I wanted to finish playing Grimm 'n' Goblins. So, I used my magic to freeze her solid. She's actually in my freezer room where I hide my frozen treats from everyone." Salem explained.

"Wait, so she's still alive?!" Yang exclaimed.

"Pretty sure, she is, but in a coma-like state. Look if it helps, you can take it with you when you go back with Jaune. It's been taking up space." Salem said coolly. "Plus, it'll troll Ozpin."

"I can't believe that the queen of the freaking Grimm has essentially helped solve two things that Ozpin couldn't." Yang said flatly as Jaune took the lead.

"Least I can do to make him look bad." Salem remarked.

Jaune won the race whooping in victory leading to several more races.

"By the way, where are your henchman?" Jaune asked.

"I gave them the weekend off if they left the castle." Salem said. "I wonder what they are doing."

(With Hazel)

Hazel in some bar in Mistral having a conversation with an intoxicated individual from the White Fang.

"So, let me get this straight. You're working for the woman who controls the Grimm because Ozpin had a hand in your sister's death. The same sister who was training to be a Huntress to fight the Grimm and protect the innocent. Exactly how working with the Grimm Queen justifying fucking over everyone else?" She said slurring her speech.

"At least I'm not lusting after an underaged girl." Hazel muttered.

"Hey! She's 17 now….Blake's totally legal now. Hic!" She said tipsily sipping her drink. "Besides, she's got that Bellabooty."

(With Tryian)

He was some hotel having a fancy dinner date in his room with a RealDoll of Salem. Enough said.

(With Watts)

Watts was doing what he loved. Trolling Cinder and was watching her preform pole dancing.

"Thanks for letting me join this private party." Watts said to Emerald.

"Oh, it's no problem at all.

(Back with Salem, Yang, and Jaune)

"You have your own hot tub." Yang remarked looking the large one in another room in Salem's castle. "Full of blood….well that's metal."

"I'm in the mood for a dip. Care to join me?" Salem said as she strode over to it.

"I would, but we don't have…..swim…suits…" Jaune said as his jaw threatened to dislocate at what he saw.

Salem was already in the hot tub leaving a trail of what she was just wearing.

"Who said I would be wearing anything?" Salem said teasingly.

"Whoa, whoa, queen of the Grimm or not, you can't have him. He's mine." Yang said defensive.

"Oh, don't worry. I don't intend to tear apart of your relationship, Xiao Long. I've lived long to be past paltry romance as I appreciate something more physical. I've also lived long enough to look past gender." Salem said giving the eyes to Yang. "I can definitely make it worth your while. Maybe help you find your birth mother."

"I'm listening." Yang said as she began to disrobe to get in.

(At Beacon, Hours Later)

Taiyang was concerned considering what he just learned from Ruby. Apparently, she went off with Jaune and got reverse summoned to who knows else. He and Qrow sat at that same table in the cafeteria waiting for her.

POOF!

Jaune and Yang returned clearly looking frazzled as hell with wet hair. Yang was also holding a massive piece of ice as big as her.

"Yang, you're back! What happened? Are you all right?" Taiyang said worriedly before glaring at Jaune.

"Dad, I think you should be thanking Jaune and I. Because we got you a gift!" Yang said excitedly as she rubbed the frost on the ice to show Summer Rose.

"Summer!/MOM!" Taiyang/Qrow/Ruby screamed. "But how?"

"Would you believe Salem had her on ice the entire time?" Jaune said chuckling. "She's still alive, but you should…"

SMASH! Taiyang and Ruby punched at the ice cracking it open just to get her out.

"It'll take a while for her to wake up…so.." Yang said before the two ran with the body to the medical bay. "Well, at least they're happy."

"Why the hell did Salem just give you Summer Rose?" Qrow asked seriously.

"Long story. I'd explain but I'm beat." Yang said lumbering off to her room for sleep.

Her jacket had covered the mark on her back signifying Salem's blessing as Ozpin was unaware, for now, that a new controller of Grimm was in the making. Jaune went off straight to bed as well completely beat. Ozpin was not pleased to hear that it was Salem who reserve summoned Jaune and was less pleased to see her call him. The Grimm Queen was only wearing a thin bathrobe and looked worn out yet pleased with herself.

"What do you want?" Ozpin growled.

"Aw, jealous that I spent time with my protégé and not you?" Salem cooed as Ozpin slammed his fist on his desk.

"Damn it, Salem! He's not a toy." Ozpin said.

"And he's not. He's a protégé and he and his girlfriend did a fine job keeping me company." Salem said as Ozpin noticed the trail of hickeys on her neck. "I might even have another Grimm summoner."

Ozpin hung up and walked out of the room before screaming, "OUUMMMM DAMMMNNN IT!"

He went to his coffee machine and poured himself a mug before dumping half a bottle of brandy and scotch.

"I'm getting too old for this shit." Ozpin muttered.

(A/N: I really do like the idea of Punch Clock!Salem. It'd be interesting considering it's obvious the Brother Gods are dicks. Either way, this was the first reverse summoning and I hope you had a good laugh. If anyone wants to write up a Jaune/Salem/Yang lemon based off this, be my guest. Next time, will be up to me!)