Yep. Not dropped. Why did you even think I would ever do such a thing? I will, no matter what. Create a Chadbaru trend. Everyone will know Subaru is just too great and can do so much.
And since I am such an approachable introvert… I got a beta reader! Thanks to Le Big Tiddy Biden for beta reading chapter 3. Please make lots of reviews and comments… it's bad for me when I keep refreshing for so long but finding nothing.
IF, you like the chapter please follow, favorite, and kudos in AO3! It fills me with Determination and cobblestone rank in discord if I reach 150! Though it will probably happen when I write 100k or something since it gets harder each chapter! So I heard from other writers. But it's fine! I wanna write it until at least Subaru can have so much sex! You didn't know? You didn't because you didn't see the awesome tags in AO3
Yes, in this story. Subaru will fuck so much after his first time! Yeah! With so many women! Yeah! Are characters like Envy, Capella, Gold digger nobles, Todd's wife, Anastasia, Slyph, excluded because for whatever reason? No. No. No one is. Unless Subaru wants it that is. And while he won't be having sex with every woman… Let's face it. He is that one man in re zero world who doesn't make sense but it's so hot when people get to know him! So it's hard to not give any sexual tension when some female talks with Subaru one on one!
Here I am again with chapter 3. It's crazy how the story got so many follows, favorites, and kudos without the presence of romance(yet) with no trend followed. First of all, we are getting closer to the end of the prologue.
Another important thing I forgot(Yep again) to mention here(I did it in the comments of ao3) is that we will see the reaction of the Tower people. The disappearance of him is a bit different from canon and this time they won't be soulless. Like… seriously. Some weird Yin magic creature came and kidnapped the morale of your team. There will be JUICY reactions. Denial, Rage, Sadness, FUCKING DEPRESSION. They will feel so much. The despair they will taste I am saying!
The person gets the most valuable position! I mean talking to Subaru one on one with hearts open was Ram! It will affect her so much that's all I am saying.
Subaru disappeared right after wanting to adopt Meili. Imagine the feeling of Assasin Girl.
Beatrice felt Subaru DISAPPEAR. Like POOF. The most important person in your life is just POOF. She will react as you will expect. TOTALLY UNLIKE CANON.
Emilia just wanted to talk to Subaru. She was saved by him so many times in that tower.
Julius defeated Reid with wits in this story. Six spirits cannot fucking pierce through Sword Play of Astrea. That shit is one of the strongest attacks in re-zero. He did use a not-so-knightly way to beat him. While he felt a bit shame… He was eager to tell his win to Subaru more than anyone. The one who trusted him with and without memories. After his defeat. Even more than Anastasia he wanted to talk to him. Like in Arc 3… he was going to tell how grateful he-
Envy: Hippity hoppity, If only this guy become my property, he would be actually HAPPY! (Realize the RYHME!)
So Julius thought first his mind was playing a trick on him. Then realized he might be in danger. Then figured out he was POOOOF! He was crushed by the sheer ridiculousness.
As for Emilia… Ahahahahahhah. You have to fucking read it when it comes out because it is hilarious! But I can at least tell the feeling… Imagine time stops and Eren(me) starts to whisper in Emilia's ear.
"Emilia… what the fuck was that? Didn't you just say it was fine for him to rest? He listens to you and now he is left in some unknown place with a time bomb inside of him? Emilia… Did you actually leave your knight… your Subaru. No, Rem's Subaru. Natsuki Subaru. Alone? To talk with some amnesiac dragon? And let him be kidnapped because of it? Emilia… You actually made him sleep by relaxing him. And now he is kidnapped because he was defenseless. Emilia… You. Are. Slothful."
Unlike in canon. Volcanica was useless here… that's how it is and it will be obvious why. Yeah. Envy is smart in many ways for this one last time unlike her dumb self in arc 6. It will be explained WHY. You can expect the tower chapter sometime after the prologue.
Here is the STORY!
The atmosphere in the air was tense, but if one asks why it wasn't easy to explain. With many unconscious bodies piled on top of each other as if to showcase how easy doing it was.
No. That was incorrect. It was done so someone would see and praise the warrior who had done that, but all those expectations faded away with words muttered from a kind girl's mouth.
The description of her feeling, what she had called a silly something was alarming to both Natsuki Subaru and Louise.
Feeling Natsuki Subaru's death…
One was looking at her without blinking… No hostile intent was apparent on her face but it certainly wasn't an expression that would be considered natural from the person she was looking to.
She would react or find that expression anomalous if she were to see it, but she was half-asleep on someone's chest.
The owner of that chest also felt an incredibly empty feeling with Medium feeling his…'death'. But for some reason, unlike Louise who neither changed her expression nor moved a muscle… His empty unknown expression turned into someone deducing everything that happened.
Hence… Louise's gaze was no longer connected to the yellow-haired girl.
Her gaze set on where they usually belonged. As if she was a diligent child who couldn't solve the puzzle after trying many times. She was expecting something from that face that showed no emotion.
Having failed to find an answer. She was expecting from him.
As if he was answering that expectation… Natsuki Subaru's eyes sparkled as if they found something they were searching for so long. It was the favorite expression of his allies. While his thoughtful gaze was more calculating than before, the glint inside of them when they reach the absolute conclusion didn't change.
Solving the puzzle of the first trial of Pleiades, finding a way to defeat the Invincible Archbishop. Time and time again, it was a face he never hid from others and his allies grew accustomed to it. It was a well-liked expression for comrades and one that was loved by his closest allies.
At least that was one expression they would understand from his face even to this day. The Natsuki Subaru who's known for his inability to hide things made it obvious when he figured out something… Little did they know, he was so good at it that he could hide everything with little effort when it comes to his daily suffering and emotional turmoils. Not even 400 years of experience with intellectual genius did sense such a thing all the time. From Roswaal's point of view. He had his moments of PTSD but mostly he was an all-time happy person who delighted with the peace he had won. It was wrong. Natsuki Subaru won nothing.
But at least…they knew some of his faces. Some of them knew more than others. Some of them were ignorant of their meaning but nonetheless. It was going to repeat in their memory for a long time. Again and again his face. Replaying.
They wouldn't see his face for a long time, and when they see it, it won't be a live face. Perhaps it will be from a drawing.
They had so many chances to unlock more of the expressions of Natsuki Subaru but they didn't with so many times in their hands. Unable to gain an understanding, calling a very complex individual simple. They simply didn't learn enough about him. They were mistaken greatly by simplifying him in their heads.
Perhaps, while those images of their lost friend played in their mind, they might understand more about those expressions. Because even if some of them are impossibly optimistic towards every situation. Even those with an optimism born through naivety and ignorance will fail against the test of time. And this time, they won't have their 'morale' in this 'trial'.
The trial of Sanctuary accepted all answers. There was no wrong answer. Yet it was brutal for them.
But…
It was time for them to face the true trial. the Trial of Life.
Where no answer is true, and there is no answer expected from you.
Natsuki Subaru wasn't coming back for a long time.
Those who are unable to realize this reality will pay for their ignorance in their head.
But not everyone was having a hard time…getting to know and learn more about Natsuki Subaru.
If that was a race… Natsuki Subaru was looking at the fastest player in that race. The speedrunner called:
"Vincent," He said with his emotionless voice. Well…emotionless to everyone but Vincent. He had so many meanings to put on that voice.
Not to mention that delighting face.
"You seem to ignore my evaluation. Very well…but it's not like you can find anyone to do that but me." He was the one who decided to skip the job already.
And he was still talking about Subaru about…Subaru. Which pissed him off. He hated hearing about Subaru…from others.
"I lost count of how many people evaluated me… That's the easiest thing to do, not to mention I don't have this inherent intimidating aura around me that stops people from thinking anything I would dislike. So it seems." Not losing a second to give his answer. Natsuki Subaru played with Vincent. He didn't understand what he wanted but he also used this as an excuse to relax his mind. He said jokingly. As always.
"You and the clownish act that you wore when you evade your eyes, but even that has a new touch, it's rather sharper than usual. Normally you are not someone that bites. Looking at all those truths… It just betrays your voice. You've lost your immunity against intelligence," Vincent, not stopping what he was doing, not caring about what they had on hand…kept continuing without giving him room to think.
"Even so…it matters not. Your acceptance of everyone judging you but you being unable to reject they are incorrect only proves me right." Another conclusion was reached. Ever since he survived after taking his knife. Vincent Abellux observed Natsuki Subaru as a whole in every situation, in every given chance.
He was correct. Subaru told him that everyone evaluated his moves and everything was judged, but he never told him that any of that evaluation was correct.
And after what happened with El Gina, Subaru was getting frustrated with everything, lashing out more, more alive, and angry. A mind that gets faster and faster. It is the same way as Vincent's interest in him. There was an increase in Natsuki Subaru's negativity and usefulness. By simply not evading the darker thoughts, Natsuki Subaru had more options. Not every time he would use them, but they were an option nonetheless.
Time and time again in these 3 weeks, with every dialogue, discussion, plan and fight the two had, Vincent was learning more and more about Natsuki Subaru.
The level of interest, the way he was observing has long past the point of simply being a Vollachian royalty in a search of new pawns or being kept entertained.
Hence what was happening here definitely wasn't new. Every time he was damaged by Rem, Vincent was there to comment on how meaningless it was to take her seriously.
With every idealistic move, he was commented. Judging every move he takes instead of discarding it as unimportant and uninteresting. Subaru, after all of that subconsciously took notes, getting more and more cautious, the questioning of his has started long ago, exactly after 'he' liberated the Sanctuary.
No, scratch that. He was listening to him so there was nothing subconscious about it. It was long before when he dismissed Abel's words without care. He didn't do that anymore. He gave up on that far quickly after seeing… after seeing…understanding.
…Something about him was different and unlike all the other people who conversed with him, his words simply mattered more than theirs.
But the limit was reached. He was getting frustrated to an extent where he might do something bad.
So…
"Where is Tanza?" It was the obvious conclusion that reached by him for the situation at hand.
"Tanza… That's true. She might be the one behind all this. The puzzle makes more sense with her involvement. But I ask, how is that?"
"That sheep. I felt 'justification' in his eyes. I know that look well. Sometimes people need excuses to commit terrible acts. All of these people didn't surely attack us because we were outsiders… No. He, and others, didn't decide to start this mess. They make themselves think they should. Something necessary. That's how it felt, that's how it is… So when they didn't see Tanza get out of the inn…"
Subaru didn't feel like there was a shred of willpower in those eyes. He was disgusted by it. That sheep boy didn't make that choice to attack them and yet he was justifying it with someone else's reasons. They were shunned as horned people. Yes. But with the power that was given to them by their leader, they were doing stupid things.
-Subaru was killed when he get out the first time.
He knew that the others didn't attack until someone gets out. But even so, it was foolish. Just because someone gets out, and that person wasn't Tanza…why did they attack?
Oh… His thoughts were cut without getting finished. He finally accepted someone else's presence.
"Alde-" Subaru silently muttered. Finally realizing his friend's presence. Perhaps he was subconsciously avoiding him. After all, he was one of the things that comes to his mind during those weeks being inside of that dark place. For obvious reasons, he was avoiding it.
While Vincent was taking in what Subaru said with his own conclusion. He slowly walked towards Al, being careful to not spend his energy too much.
"Al! Are you alright? Did you get wounded?" Subaru's voice was genuine. His intent was genuine. To begin with, even with his new calculating outlook. Subaru wasn't someone who can just lie in every given situation.
He couldn't even lie to Louise about sparing her if she let Rem's name go… That was the extent of his inability to lie when it comes to things he is passionate about. So the care in his voice was for Al and it was real.
"U…sele..s"
"Huh?!"
"Not at all… I am not alright."
"Did you get wounded from somewhere?"
"No! That's not what I mean!"
Al raised the tone of his voice, suddenly he got more lively. He was raging. A rage that was born from the inability to accept something.
"I am useless. My present self will die."
"..."
Subaru makes a confused face then he slowly closes his slightly opened mouth. The confused expression on his face fades slowly.
…
They were just a little bit far away from their group. Abel, Louise, Medium, and then, Subaru, looking at the defeated Al, who's on his knees.
…
His gaze lands below on nothing particular. It was as if he was contemplating something. A dark serious look in his eyes expanding onto his face.
…
He takes one last look towards Al, who was neither questioning nor thinking about his absurd stop after what he said. He was too focused on what was on his mind to realize that.
…
He closes his eyes, sighing. He gets up beside Al. Opening them…
"Olbart. Abel, what do you know about his technique? If it's you then…" Subaru looks hopeful towards his face which is now covered with the Demon Mask Unlike before when he took it off while talking to Subaru…for some reason.
But what was important now, which is Abel, who knows so much about every general in Vollachia. There was no way he was lacking in knowledge about the most important ones.
—That's what Subaru assumed.
It also caught Al's attention. 'Technique'. His wits didn't help him and he couldn't do anything to solve it. He understood when the old man first come in surprise. The territory did not open. If something were to happen he would die.
And he did die. Subaru remembered Al's reaction back then. He talked about conditions. He didn't know about his…lack of 'ability'.
Whatever that was.
Whatever that was.
Whatever. That. Was.
"You are not wrong to think I know a lot about them. But even so, Shinobi are secretive about their techniques. He is no different. No, if it's him, then that statement is truer than ever"
"Then there is nothing to do but…"
"Speculate and think to conclude. If there is anything we can use with that conclusion, we will. Whatever it is, we will use it. That's how you act in an unfavorable position. That's what we will do." He cut in and completed Subaru's sentence. Agreeing with him, or actually…maybe there was an expectancy in that sentence.
'What we will do' is more like 'That is what YOU will do'
He was totally, absolutely correct. They were in a super-unfavorable position. The inhabitants of Chaos Flame were against them, Olbart was against them. One wrong move and…Yorna was against them.
If it was him. He already thought about it, and if he was still going this way then he just reached for nothing. Abel's own answer didn't satisfy him.
"The old man played with our Od's. It is not a spell that is active right now or something like that." That was the conclusion Subaru reached.
"Continue." but of course, even if it was him, Abel will question him. Al was listening and Medium was coming to her senses. Louise was looking at him, as always.
He was getting more emperor-like every time Subaru gives his 'reports'.
"First, it wasn't something that he readied. I do not know much about magic, but… no matter how skilled the user is, they do have that time frame where they cast a spell. This isn't anything like I feel when people make their flashy magic moves. The old man used a technique, but it does not contain any spell. It would seem that he can attack our spiritual bodies? Od? Well, whatever is inside us he can do something to affect it. But what is true is that it's not something forceful. Whatever he did, it caused this Infantilization."
Everyone did listen to Subaru, who seemed to learn so much…but it was also hard to prove.
"Huh? What do you mean by nothing 'forceful'," Abel questioned him.
"It's exactly how it sounds. I didn't say he added some curse to cause this or anything costly. He seems to know Od well. His technique was something that our bodies tried to adapt to. This was the result. Od itself showed no resistance."
"So you are trying to say that the very Od is getting tricked by this technique? And instead of trying to reject-"
"It just accepts. It didn't count as an attack. Even we didn't feel anything. There was nothing to make our bodies understand that was a threat. The immune system is bad with this magic stuff, I suppose."
Subaru's theory also opened another problem… If there was nothing planted inside of the body like a curse… then to fix it, one needs to replicate a similar technique to cause the body to change to its old form.
Someone knowledgeable about this technique is required…
"Even so…that's not quite enough."
"Hmm?"
"Everything sits well, I am quite satisfied. But even so, the way you start this thought experiment is where you are unable to satisfy me. Sure, it can be said that your Od changed or is affected, but how come you reach a conclusion that it's not anything implanted and just a response from Od."
…
"Your sensory abilities aren't that great. No, it's totally untrained, right? The only reason for your current skill level is only from the experiences you had. Which is quite astounding but still, untrained is still untrained. If you are given any training after reaching where you are. It is nothing but lacking."
…
"It is clear that no one had any expectancy from you in any way. At most, it was you who wanted to be trained. Your analysis is hardly credible because of that."
"Hah. That's what you get, 'Hero'," there was no need to say that it was Al who was joking with him. If anyone else, he would snap. But even at Priestella, Al was the one who didn't want him to become a 'Hero'. He had reasons.
And Vincent…
Harsh words. Very harsh words. It meant, 'that one year of effort doesn't come even close to enough.' And that no one believed him that he would do better alone.
He also didn't lie. No matter how much he wanted Emilia to want him to be strong, or depend on him in that way. She never did. Because Emilia was unable to see Subaru's lack of strength as a problem. She wasn't the only one. It was the same with Rem and Beatrice. They didn't expect anything like that from Subaru. Emilia was quite happy with Subaru's lacking part which was quite insulting and even outright unacceptable if not for her good intentions. She told him again and again that she was happy that she could fill every single lacking ability of Subaru. That was the 'intention' that saved her from Subaru's frustration. It was cruel.
But she wasn't wrong. She could fill in his stead.
Magic? She had that to the fullest.
His inability to make any other contract? She could make them.
Physical strength? She was strong even when you compare her to other elves. She wasn't stronger than Roswaal, Clind, Rem, Garfield, and Frederica when it comes to pure physical strength. Even Ram who had mana problems could stay as strong as her for a while thanks to her untrained nature. But she was still far stronger than Subaru. She could fill for him. She could do that. It was a happy thing for her.
Not for him.
She also trained in that one year. Subaru helped her a lot. She was far stronger. But in the end, Emilia couldn't even see Subaru's wish to be stronger. Maybe she was subconsciously avoiding it. She was glad that she could help Subaru that way. Even Beatrice probably felt the same.
Beatrice observed Subaru too much. She knew even 400 years of knowledge could be surpassed by Subaru. This was true for various reasons. His imagination was far stronger. He had otherworldly knowledge. He was her Subaru. He didn't stop thinking even about the unknown. And he was a bit insane and it did help her contractor with his ideas! So it was fine to call him that!
He was reckless. They didn't like that, but it wasn't something they could stop. Not even she could.
And then…what is unknown but felt.
Return by Death. Of course, she didn't know about it. But the detached Subaru who looks down upon those who have no idea about the times that never come past. Once he gets that position, she didn't see him losing. So she felt that incomprehensibility.
So Subaru didn't need anything. He could just enjoy his well-deserved time? Beatrice knew it was wrong even if others were obvious.
But unlike Emilia, Beatrice always knew Subaru felt lacking. That's why she was always there when he was training, doing parkour, motivating him. It never failed to put a smile on his face.
Roswaal didn't think Subaru needed anything. He knew what he was. The way he looked at him…after the Sanctuary incident. Probably Roswaal thought Subaru was doing his training for fun…maybe because he was pissed at everyone who was trained.
From Roswaal's perspective, he wouldn't even mind if Subaru stood there and gave commands to his every move. Ironically, he would be the best partner for him. Subaru's imagination and knowing things that never happened, and Roswaal's magic, he was perhaps the most talented magic user ever but lacked the imagination to that infinite-like potential.
Roswaal truly praised Subaru for his way of creating spells for both Beatrice and Emilia. Even when Emilia couldn't cast it, he created ways for her.
In that one year, Emilia trained in ways that every magician would consider ridiculous. She learned how to draw and imagined things better. Subaru did show her different types of swords and weapons for her. Some of them are literally unheard of.
This was Subaru's effort for Emilia, who was determined about 'filling' what Subaru felt lacking? Even if Subaru didn't exactly support it.
Or he agreed with the idea what Emilia was trying to do was fulfilling for Subaru. It was a weird idea that reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally delighted Emilia, making her very happy and motivated, but that meant absolutely nothing to Subaru, who was feeling his individuality to the utmost. He wasn't going to feel proud of Emilia's strength as his own.
Vincent was correct.
Subaru wasn't trained in a way that would help any fighter. He didn't check any boxes. Sensing things was one of the important basics. Clind never helped him with that. No one did. He was trained in what he wanted to be trained. And even his wants were changed.
After getting called talent-less and weak so many times. Even the swordsman Subaru admired, Wilhelm, talked about how non-existent his talent was. He just didn't have the self-worth to ask to be trained with the sword instead, so instead chose the whip…which he had 'decent' talent with.
He really wanted to use a sword. But he was easily persuaded to use what is 'best' for him.
His whole training for a year was crafted from persuasion. Clind literally trained him to survive so someone else can save him.
At that time, it made sense, but it was an utter acceptance that Subaru had no chance against ANY enemy.
No matter what… No matter what. Subaru should reject this. Always.
He didn't do that in the past and it cost him an entire year. Entire year that he could do so much with.
But now he knows not to reject such 'truths' from anyone…even if it's his friends.
Is giving up.
He would rather be more useless with his low stats instead of giving up and getting damaged from the inside.
He had enough of hearing how to get strong from people that didn't believe he could ever get strong.
He was wrong to listen to people who were born strong and stayed that way. Only get powerful when they have their 'moment'.
Before when he wasn't thrown into this world, Subaru loved the moment of 'evolution', when someone gets powerful while in the fight. Now he despises such ways. It wasn't what fighting that makes them strong. It's just what is untapped being released in the fight.
Subaru couldn't imagine having so much power and not having to even train or do anything to open more possibilities. Instead, they are given the luxury of opening it at the moment you need it.
Convenience. He hated it. He hated it so much.
"You are right… I am not trained so with my 'sensory' abilities, I am not reliable."
And to begin with, why do I have to prove it with any ability?
I have the experience.
Getting frozen by Puck and getting tortured by him in different temperatures. Getting his Od frozen. Mabeast's placing hundreds of curses. Mana getting sucked out of him by them…by Beatrice. Beatrice damaging his Od. Puck making his Od crack from freezing it. Betelgeuse possessing him. Puck's and other spirit's ability to kill Betelgeuse without needing to eliminate other bodies if they are fast enough. Betelguese possessing him, forcing a contract upon him. Dying to a curse slowly and getting murdered right after. Dying to a curse while sleeping. The feeling of Unseen Hand's ability to attack the spiritual body unconsciously when it touched him. Knowing when he is connected to someone emotionally while affected by Sirius. Knowing the feeling of dying because of someone else's death because of Sirius. Knowing the feeling of multiplying fear between himself and a child getting stronger each time it bounces between them because of Sirius. The feeling of Od's getting connected because of Cor Leonis. The feeling of an Authority's creation. The feeling of a witch's touch. A Witch's presence. The feeling of getting 'judged' to pieces by Typhon. The feeling of impossible hunger from Daphne. Getting his self and his Od healed by Minerva, The Witch of Wrath. The feeling of tiredness coming from Sekhmet. The feeling of the touch of Envy. The different scents between the witches. The smell of intensity from Envy. The smell of passion from Echidna. The smell of exitement from Echidna, The smell of arousal from Echidna. The sweet scent of books from Echidna. The smell of the Tea that contains her essence. The smell of Echidna. The same smell from Echidna's corpse. The smell of her hair coming to his nose while comforting him. The feeling of his mind getting read, the knowledge being sucked out of him by the Od Laguna. Roswaal putting a forceful contract into his soul. The feeling of bloodlust from Elsa. Feeling the moving corpse of Elsa targetting him by feeling his miasma. The feeling of being sensed and scanned by Reinhard. The feeling of being felt and synchronized through Clairvoyance by Ram. The feeling of the horn while being connected to Ram. Hearing the wrathful whispers deep inside of Ram. The overlapping vision from Nect. The feeling of being connected with Julius. The feeling of hearing and getting connected to more than fifty people talking while Julius helped them because of his Spirit affinity. The feeling of space changing from the other side of the door when Door Crossing is active. The feeling of Yin magic. The feeling of Yang magic from Priscilla. The feeling of Priscilla's Yang Sword. The feeling of White Flames from the Yang Sword. The feeling of Wind magic from Ram. The feeling of Water magic from Felix. The feeling of Fire Magic from Emilia. The feeling of Earth magic from Garfiel.
The feeling of the White Whale's disappearance as if it never came to that place.
—
—
The feeling of sweet whispers he shouldn't have heard. But he recalled them. Return by Death made sure he recalled them because it was crucial for his s̶̹̮͖͙͙͋̽̆͑͝͝͠a̷̤̻͚͂t̷̛̰͎̲̫͚̄̾̎́͂͠͝i̸͓̭̝͕͐̚s̵͉͔̥̩̣̙̝̱̮̓f̵̨̡̨̫̻͇̠͂́̿̚ͅa̶̜̝̝̦̽̌͆ç̶̬̺̮̝̘̹̳̙̽̄̿̂̑̀t̶̩̙̗̱̼̱̖͔̿ì̸͈̓̇̊͠o̵͎̿̃̅͝ñ̶̰̔̐̿̕͠͠
—
—
—
The feeling of creating eyes in the Shadow Garden.
The feeling of creating his mind in the Shadow Garden.
The feeling of creating his legs in the Shadow Garden.
The feeling of his consciousness traveling back and forth with Return by Death to reach the goal of Return by Death.
The feeling of Envy's love.
The feeling of Impossible individuality.
The feeling of Pride who's far away.
The feeling of Dark Emotions giving him strength.
The feeling of Void. Nothingness.
The feeling of the creation of The Witch Factor.
…
The feeling of Pride.
The feeling of Wrath.
The feeling of Envy
The feeling of Sloth.
The feeling of Gluttony
The feeling of Sloth.
The feeling of Greed.
The feeling of Death.
The feeling of Determination.
The feeling of Return by Death.
The feeling of Checkpoint is set?
The fee…ling of being posse..ssed?
The Feeling of Divergence?
The feeling, the knowledge, the accumulation of experience worthy of three hundred loops inside of himself.
"Ahahahahah…"
"Huh? What's so funny, Natsuki Subaru?"
Why question? Why hesitate? Why? There is no need.
I don't have to cry for over a year. I will suck up everything I did ever since I came to this place dry. Every experience that I accumulated can be used. I lived through so many things that no one can ever endure. I will get whatever can be gained.
My 'experience' is so great that I will put everyone's blessings and training into shame.
I don't need to be trained. Once I use everything I come to understand, experienced, and accumulated. That will be more than enough. I only need to refine it. To sharpen it.
The one who's Returning from Death enduring so much. No one can train me anyway. What is that? People just don't know how many options and choices I gain even if I get slightly stronger. Even a little bit more skill… They don't know. They cannot imagine.
"I have been cursed. I have a curse activated on me. I have magic used on my Od. I still have various curses on me. I know the feeling. It's fine. It's definitely nothing put from that vicious old man. The old man played with our Od's but nothing to do with Curses and magic. He might've manipulated or done something else. But that's all I can tell with only this." He spoke quickly. He could say so much more. He didn't feel like he needed to convince him. He didn't care.
Right now he doesn't need Vincent. Not now. He already decided what to do.
"Old man…messed with my body… So that's why. That's why…" Al seemed to also be convinced by Subaru's explanation.
"So in the end, it's your experience that has credibility, huh? It's hilarious." That's what Vincent's comment was to the horrifying experiences Subaru had. Hinting at the foolishness of getting hit by everything so many times perhaps. Subaru's tone and voice. Everyone there understood he could count much more.
"Wh-What? Abel-chin? Are we just going to say nothing?! He is cursed, and apparently much more stuff going on?!"
"His self-preservation lacks more than mine. It's pretty much none existent anyway. I can't choose if his social suicide in front of nobles were worse or his actual suicide missions against crazy cultists. How can you get worse than me? That's stupid. That's crazy. You have no reason to do any of this. You are mad, bro. That's how it is. We can't fix this guy in the short term. You gotta make masters for it. So Medium-chan has to take it while making a cute grumpy face." He was trying to hold his anger with great effort. If he wasn't turned into a child that wouldn't be the case for Al. Who could control his emotions very well.
"No. There is no wa-"
"What are you doing Natsuki Subaru?" Vincent cut their little conversation. Seeing Subaru started to move.
"I will find Olbart. You guys do your own part."
"Look. He is getting more and more insane. You aren't going anywhere, BRO. Separating is dumb. Even if you are thinking of taking that blond monster…" But Subaru wasn't having any of it.
Without looking at them. With a determined expression. Subaru pointed to a rooftop.
"Louise!"
"UUUUAU!"
Thanks to the way Subaru made Louise regain her abilities. He knew instinctively that she could do certain things. And his guess paid off. Now they vanished to that rooftop… and then they vanished from there to…who knows where.
First, he had to break his body to save Louise even when he could just Return by Death. That was his choice.
Second, he had to fix that broken body and he thoroughly had to repeat and learn how he can do that. It took him three hundred loops. Not to mention it was an entirely new way of dying… Getting in and out of the body.
He was tired. Even before these two insane experiences, he had to deal with an Olbart appearing out of nowhere.
But he was also accepting these short loops. Something was happening. Changing the way he moves. The way how his Return by Death works.
Subaru wasn't stopping even now. It was time to take on the citizens of Chaos Flame.
If the conclusion wasn't worth this much pain…then he will go even farther.
What Return By Death was.
What Return By Death becomes.
The time to decide was soon. That's why Return by Death held nothing back.
"I will do my best for that time," with Louise beside holding him, he felt something like an occurrence the moment he decided to move forward despite all the suffering that he's been through.
Only one left, it can't hold on forever. Keep going. - Return by Death
That description of Determination reached him subconsciously. Natsuki Subaru filled himself with the heat of wanting the reach the conclusion of the current goal. And with that… he was going to face the people of the Chaos Flame.
Yep. Vincent and Subaru are compatible… I can't just judge Emilia camp and not point out who's the winner at the race of 'who's better as Subaru's companion when he faces danger' Vincent wins… for now. Roswaal and Al tied for second place. Beako is third. Echidna barely finished the race but she is fourth. As for the Emilia camp and rest of the players…
They went in the opposite direction. This means… they were dead weights and they caused him to die so many times. Which true! They become better with time but that's because of Subaru. Vincent, with his intentions not so good. Is the best companion Subaru has so far. Remember when he gained time for him to figure out what to say to Olbart? That's when I understood these two have some crazy wavelength they understand each other.
And so many people are interested in how Subaru will get stronger. Another answer is given in this episode… Everything he lived is a source for him to get stronger. Some of them are obvious. Some of them can be used as knowledge unknown to everyone. Some of them are batshit crazy. But he gets the feeling of everything and Return by Death made sure for him to somewhat get everything useful there is.
Do not forget Return By Death is also a recollection ability. Hence why Subaru freezes after respawning sometimes.
As always. This chapter's glitched part s̶̹̮͖͙͙͋̽̆͑͝͝͠a̷̤̻͚͂t̷̛̰͎̲̫͚̄̾̎́͂͠͝i̸͓̭̝͕͐̚s̵͉͔̥̩̣̙̝̱̮̓f̵̨̡̨̫̻͇̠͂́̿̚ͅa̶̜̝̝̦̽̌͆ç̶̬̺̮̝̘̹̳̙̽̄̿̂̑̀t̶̩̙̗̱̼̱̖͔̿ì̸͈̓̇̊͠o̵͎̿̃̅͝ñ̶̰̔̐̿̕͠͠ is satisfaction. I know there is a poor soul who can't read those for whatever reason.
I am helping them!
And one controversial part. Where I talk about pure strength and I put Emilia below. Now before you stab me with your pitchfork. Tappei is the one at fault. This strength and power scale is shit. Not to mention Garfiel can be punched by Subaru easily. Mana enhancing is just above genetic strength here. And that happens with fighting. While I didn't erase Emilia's cheat fighting art coming from only instincts. She still didn't fight enough to be strong enough to just… one-up everyone trained!
Even beta reader was like "Really?" when he read that part but it's not like Emilia is weak here. It's just that others are monsters when it comes to physical. Roswaal learned shinobi and ninja techniques he can actually punch your magical shield and you still feel like you are punched directly. There is no way this guy is failing to make his body crazy strong.
Garfiel is Garfiel. He is the strongest 1v1 physical only.
Clind can kill people with armor without a weapon, like not even how Roswaal J wearing special gloves can block legendary swords. His gloves are normal butler gloves and he can just kill knights with them. And to be honest I suspect he can use his sussy authority on his punches which would be even crazy.
Oni's are the strongest race. Even with her mana problems. Ram can most likely put greater strength than Emilia. Even if it's short. Training from Roswaal. And she is an all-around genius. She is probably super good at mustering her strength with limited sources.
Frederica. She is also quite strong. Plus maid training.
Petra… she is a god. Of course, she is stronger. She can bench press Reinhard with those arms.
Btw I really didn't downgrade Emilia. Julius would be lower than her in strength. Though in a 1 one 1 I think Julius wins. Like seriously. He is strong as an all-around type. And at the same tier as the likes of Wilhelm and Elsa. Though Tappei stated they are all good at different things.
About freakish parts. Subaru got a feel of a checkpoint being set for a moment.
And Feeling of Divergence… That will be a reveal. A scary one for Subaru.
But yeah. Basically, Subaru knows lots of things. Felt lots of things and he will use them every bit. He said in one of the side stories after all. He is best at finding fault in others. He will find the gaps and crash every enemy.
Medium. She, somehow felt the scary shit going on with Subaru. And don't think it's because she is a child. Anything about Subaru is scary. So the Veteran warrior Medium also would be terrified.
She also noted Subaru's difference in chapter 2. This won't be changing anytime soon. Big busty Medium will have a similar opinion.
Yorna is the next waifu for Subaru to interact with. It will take some time for Priscilla to come into play and it's not like things will be simple between Subaru and Priscilla. Those two are super compatible and conflicting. What is sad is… they are inside of Volachia and they are at war. This is why Pris will actually be able to get a glimpse of Chadbaru but much later than arc 3. Volachia affects Pris you see… that's why. She will be slower at letting Subaru catch her interest.
Subaru and Natsumi parted their ways earlier in this story. Subaru did it himself. We will go deeper to that when Subaru and Priscilla meet again. But it will be a sad flashback, explaining how Natsumi was more or less gone.
That's all there is. I love making these long opening and endings. Talking about the chapter. Kinda weird but seriously… I actually think about this stuff because it's not a done concept. I actually searched for a fic so I can learn how to do things I want… but nope! Gotta create the Chadbaru trend myself.
Write more fics where Subaru has control! Don't get caught up with the headcanon of people! Return by Death isn't given by Satella. It's just not the case. Authority giving isn't a thing and Tappei said it many times!
Satella is a dumb girl! A cute one but she isn't some checkpoint setter for Subaru. Trying to establish this more and more with this fic and maybe some others I might write!
Please make review! Lots of! I read them ALL. And if it's juicy enough I answer it here so no one remains ignorant!
Thanks to Le Big Tiddy Biden for beta reading again! See you later in chapter 4 (Probably a week later) Bye!