Snippet 52
Guest Writer Theater 4 : Christmas Special
Genre: Humor
Pairs: ….
AU-Type: (Canon-esque AU)
Tags: Coal, coal, and more coal | Mercury gets mercy | Cinder's Trolled, Adam's Trolled, Trolling all the Way
(A/N: Green whipped this up on Christmas for me, and I had to post it up! You rock, Green!)
Salem rubbed her temples as she came into the conference room to see her minions with mostly sour faces. Honestly, she didn't get what the problem was with receiving free coal, many a peasant back in her time would love a free source to warm themselves for winter. Once she sat in her chair, she observed them all.
Tyrian was cursing and swearing revenge against Santa for giving him coal. This caused Salem to roll her eyes to the mad scorpion faunus' curses. Hazel sighed, and just glowered at the coal as if his pure concentration would set it on fire. Salem couldn't help but recall some dumb movie Mercury played during movie night having something similar. She made a mental note to watch that movie again since it did amuse her somewhat. Watts seemed to take it best as he was working with some machine that went with the basic principles of alchemy to turn his boxes of coal into gold. The Grimm Queen could on snort at this, honestly those alchemists always talked about their 'Law of Equivalents exchange', but when she offered one of her father's many household knights as a human sacrifice to revive Ozma then they suddenly grew ethics. Those were the first she hunted exclusively when Remnant was repopulated. Cinder hadn't even gotten coal, she got smoal basically it was imitation coal, but produced not heat when burnt. Salem could only smirk because that was one of her lovely inventions. It warmed her immortal heart at how many humans went to bed disappointed over having no heat.
Though surprisingly, Mercury and Emerald were playing new gaming toys, or whatever current children called them. She strolled over to see what depraved violence they were playing, only to be shocked it was a game of some fat plumber having a party with his friend.
"So, how did the man in red not give you coal?" Salem asked very evenly.
"Oh, Merc is on the permanent nice list because of his shitty childhood." Emerald said trying to avoid getting knocked off a platform.
"Yeah, the big red guy basically can't touch me because my dad did horrible things to me." Mercury said without a hint of irony.
"…Mercury my offer still stands of sending you to therapy." Salem sighed crossing her arms at the boy who refused to get help.
All across Remnant many others though woke up to mountains of coal, Adam Taurus found it everywhere. Somehow Santa even made his shower leak coal…he sat in the fetal position trying to figure out how….
Jacques Schnee opened the door to his office after he made his workers come in on Christmas Day, only to be thrown out by a tidal wave of coal.
Raven Branwen got nothing but smoal simply because she would have found coal useful.
(A/N: Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!)