From now on I'll be careful before promising weekly updates… sorry for that guys. But here is the chapter. Things get dark huh?
Next update: Smut story.
Oh and… all the criticism about grammar is accepted. Is it better now? Or worse?
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Promise.
A spirit user should keep their promises. Violation of that would bring nothing but misfortune. Spirits might never answer you or you might outright get killed by the spirit you offended. You should keep your promises.
How you kept your promises. How earnest you were. How diligently you worked to keep your promise.
The absence of such purity will affect your ability as a spirit arts user. You will never be able to reach your potential.
Emilia, the silver-haired half-elf who was born strong and pure, had natural goodness inside of her. It didn't matter what happened in the past or what will happen in the future. Emilia would stay good and innocent. That was in her nature.
Which strengthens her connection with spirits.
She was loved by mana and her 'origin' was sacred.
Not to mention, the elven blood inside of her was strong. Once, the whole village got sick from a disease, and not even her tummy ached. She was healthy and perfect.
All of that blood, talent, purity and even the light inside of her made her precious to the very nature of the world.
She even had a spirit that existed for her.
How grand can one be?
A great person who has a great destiny… will reach that destiny without any problem for sure.
Oh, yes, how can I forget? She just happens to be the Witch's Daughter but one shouldn't be mistaken THE WITCH in question isn't that Envy. No, oh… thinking that would be a mistake for sure. After all, that light inside of her, the fact that she can do no evil, and all other shining aspects. Only an idiot would assume she has anything dark inside of her. Which would create a 'conflict'.
But Emilia had none of it. Since she had two mothers and one of them would save people and the other would protect the place the former lost her life for.
So even being the daughter of a witch added no darkness to her nature.
Even so…
Wouldn't that be more interesting?
…
As I was saying… Everyone should keep their promises, that's the lesson here.
Why? One would ask…
…
…
Oh, indeed, no one would ask or question it. No one did in my very long lifetime. No one other than me. Because that 'instinct' was from the world itself and its desire for simplicity. That desire was created by simple people. That's a cycle indeed.
I observe and observe and realize that people confuse greatness with complexity.
But isn't that the opposite? Heroes are simple, aren't they?
They are. They are simple. About this fact, I won't budge.
…
It is indeed depressing that all heroes are simple. But a villain can surely spice things up. A strong enemy with overwhelming power perhaps?
…
But a villain is only as good as her conviction and goals… and unfortunately, in this story;
The villain has nothing to achieve. She already won and it just wasn't what she wanted.
The end.
It was the end of this villain who would consider breaking her promise if she had anyone to make one begin with… but.
But… just maybe… if… she had someone like that–
As she looked up to the stars as always and end her fantasy with one last thought.
"If you have a good reason, isn't it fine? Breaking your promise I mean…not that I have anyone to experience this with."
—She was a villain who won every battle and still lost the war.
Lost against none other than herself.
It didn't end, it didn't stop.
Until they felt the urge to cease any action.
And then results came in.
"Acceptable."
This was the result they got for constantly getting better, stronger, and lowering their wastefulness so much that any other spirit wouldn't believe such usage of mana.
However, they also didn't think those words were belittling or empty.
That's probably why… even with all these impossible actions.
It was only 'Acceptable'.
"Ugh" The 'boy' who was not only the surgeon but the operation itself grunted.
"If I only worked on my body the results would be better. However, I lack time and strengthening my connection with this workshop will bring better results."
This place itself was a weapon. And weapons can be claimed if you destroy their wielder. That is exactly what Natsuki Subaru did. She was dead. And now her talent in magic and weapons would be used to destroy people she cared about.
…
"Hah." He was free so he didn't need to act horrified or disgusted by his actions. He simply didn't feel like that. Natsuki Subaru would no longer force himself to act 'normal' for others. He will not feed his cowardice.
He won't act like he is so very much terrified of death either.
Losing fear of death makes him inhuman? Satella can fuck off! Because it was never about death.
It was all about how he progressed.
As long as he progressed while staying true to himself. Everything will be fine.
His judgment would no longer be clouded.
He felt warmth in his hand.
"Louise."
"Uuuau"
She was ready too.
And it was about time…
'They are coming' One of the spirits… no, that one spirit that was unnaturally silent talked.
And the anomaly didn't end there. Subaru actually answered.
"Of course they are. After all, I sent them a gift so they are expected and they know that too."
Gift?
The unnamed micro spirit seemed to expand the gap between others and herself as if it was natural. And it was working.
"A gift indeed. The gift, however annoying it might be is … a true ally and it can free you"
Which is? Spirit asked.
Subaru brought his arm to his side and opened his palm. Which invited metal in the room to obey his will, a spear came to his hand.
It was coated in every magic and substance available to this magical forgery.
However, after every part of his skin was newly affected by various painful operations… his hand was as sensitive as the skin can be. But he was allowed to hold this weapon… because he received…
Both the answer to the spirit's question and his ability to hold power was the same.
Subaru brings the spear right in front of his face and answers.
"Pain."
He continued with his dark tone and words coated with a burning hatred.
"With love, all of them are connected. From the connection, they receive blessings that I can never feel. However, if that connection, the path… if you try hard enough… if you strengthen the connection. You can share more than love."
Their marriage wasn't strong as the kingdom existed with Cor Leonis.
So… I gave them my blessing. The King.
Now they can share more.
Like pain.
But I realized while giving pain to that rabbit… they rejected it. Well, one might think they would want to ease the pain of their precious… rabbit. But no one could take the pain perhaps.
"They are not me, indeed"
No one is like me.
And ever since the beginning…
I was different.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MORE!" After screaming so much, a bull demi human pierced his chest with his great sword.
However, his suffering did him no good and affected his accuracy, he missed his own heart, which brought more suffering.
He just wanted to die instantly. But not everyone had bright ideas to die quickly like Subaru. Perhaps they just couldn't come back from death. That must be it.
"Father?!" The little bull with cute horns and ruby eyes couldn't believe her eyes. She rejected and rejected but reality would wait to hit her when she wasn't protected by her delusions.
"It seems not everyone was quick enough to cut their connection… But this… Why?" A question to why would anyone do such a thing? Forcing them to cut their sacred bond with their Goddess and savior. However, the person in question had no intention to explain to them.
The woman turned her head to a Lizardman. With some expectancy.
"What about the people we can't see? Did they get affected?"
"Madam… I also betrayed Yorna-sama… to stay alive. But we should assume at least more than half of everyone affected will die-" Which meant he 'divorced'. But it's not as if others stayed because of their impossible loyalty. It's just that their will turned into dust so quickly that they can't make the decision to 'divorce'.
This particular Lizardman had very high compatibility with Soul marriage and he could feel everyone through the marriage… however he too, was divorced so it was unfair to expect that from him.
He was cut from finishing his sentence.
"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?! DO YOU SAY EVERYONE JUST KILLED THEMSELVES?!"
"With respect… if we didn't restrain you…" That was true. How strong or high ranking she might be… who she was, what kind of powers she had… it didn't matter.
She was affected. That's why she felt pain. And that's why she wanted to die.
Her inability to understand even after living through that for a few seconds… was nothing but coping. Delusion to protect herself.
Not to mention those who rejected the divorce did it thanks to their instincts warning them. However, even then… those who are too deeply connected with Soul marriage… even that little time frame didn't save them.
"We are going."
"..."
"You also felt it right? It came from close"
"Yes"
Whatever that thing is. It was too close to Yorna-sama. That's one thing they can't allow.
Of course, there was this very likely possibility of Yorna too, ending her life. But their 'self' didn't allow them to think that.
Just when she was going to leap-
"Take me too…"
"..."
That little child who saw her father kill himself.
She witnessed this dark work of the unknown. It was incomprehensible. Why do people take their life, to begin with?… She wasn't even old enough to understand that. But even so… instincts, rage, everything caused conflict inside of her.
Something capable of doing this… no, this monster wasn't necessarily 'capable' of doing such a thing. But no, this made it even more horrifying instead of making it more comprehensible.
Their connection of love. All the vows they made, promises for the sake of love and mercy.
This thing just steps on it like it's dirt.
Even with all the knowledge people in this city, no, the world itself possessed.
Such darkness just didn't exist. It should not be possible to interfere with the bond they have with their lovely ruler. And yet…
She didn't know. None of them knew what was ahead.
One moment they were searching for prey and after that… people died, taking their own lives, some of them dying from inside even though their bodies were fine.
Pain. No one wanted to feel pain.
And yet.
"I see. You made up your mind." With that, she holds the hand of the child.
And together they all leaped towards the enemy.
"Chaosflame shall not fall! Not today or ever!"
Everywhere in sight, people stabbed themselves with anything lethal left to imagine.
To end it easier… even utensils were used.
Some people were lucky to somewhat cut themselves off from the sacred marriage.
However, this mistake in calculation… could be solved in another REPEAT.
Somewhat, there were those able to react thanks to their instincts.
Actually, it was just that there would be more survivors because Subaru knew for a fact that everyone had some sense of danger.
He didn't know the details. But he knew that if he were to die… closing that opening would be easy.
No matter what blessing they had, what kind of blood they carried. All of them, in the end, were nature.
Quantity or quality no longer mattered to Subaru.
There wasn't any difference between a Sword Saint and an extremely talented Swordsman.
One of them was a thousand times stronger than Subaru and the other was millions of times perhaps.
But that really didn't matter.
Both of them had this magical style they naturally learned, most of the time it wasn't even the most efficient way of wielding the sword perhaps but it's not like the rules of this world and the old one was the same.
Nonetheless. It didn't matter. It was instinctual. It was just a point of destiny.
Just like pretty much everything… Subaru was sure every person in this world had a talent cap with a sword. Which would be impossible to go beyond.
So it was just the Sword Saint having more levels in the same cheat. If he could cut from the source… wouldn't both of them just fall?
…
He always wondered… how do strong people train?
Perhaps he thought that even the average soldier would put his pathetic hikikomori training to shame.
Though… he did try his best.
Emilia never trained before the one-year peace. Ram would never do such a thing. Rem…Rem said "I would rather Subaru not see me masculine" Hah…
So when Garfiel joined them and he was enthusiastic to show his skills… Subaru got curious too.
And he wasn't wrong either… Garfiel had freakish training. When he asked him to do push-ups he didn't show any signs of stopping… after 3 hours.
It was all good, laughs and jokes.
But then something occurred.
Back then… when they were fighting. Subaru had this idea of having his mana sucked by crystal.
And he got punched… he took that punch.
He took a punch from freaking Garfiel… and the only reason he bled and lost teeth… because he showed off by holding his ground. It wasn't a proper way to take a hit. You didn't need to be a martial artist to know that.
So he did wonder: does training really matter?
Garfiel had those strong abs and a fully muscular body… but it was quite weak. Not being able to knock out a guy like him…
Back then he didn't think about it much.
But now he understands… it's because they are dependent on other forces… it's because they only achieve their 'fate'... they are weak at the core.
That's why he challenged the entirety of Chaosflame. With this belief.
All sorts of people, civilians from every age.
But it didn't matter.
They made the first move.
They tried to…no, they killed him.
None of them were innocent.
He was no longer blind.
He would no longer stop.
Morality lost its meaning when he DIED.
OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
DIED.
Everyone left him alone… betrayed him.
That is why fate will die too…
Everyone's fate will DIE.
"Freeze!"
Huh?
A woman's voice commanded me to freeze. She ordered me. Indeed. But you are a fool for not using the element of surprise. Not that it would matter. I felt they were approaching… somewhat.
No. I actually know the reason.
They hate me.
They actually hate me; true hate, and I am satisfied with that. Before it was such a pathetic display of cowardice.
They are manipulated by Tanza, who concealed herself to give the reason for others to attack.
That's why everyone died.
Without knowing why they attacked me. They attacked even when I tried to explain.
But it's different now… no, it's just…
We switched places.
I sense I smell, I taste the wish of death. Everyone wants to die. Because they felt a tiny portion of my suffering.
For marriage… they opened their very souls so they could receive their 'cheat' from Yorna.
That opening… I gave them my miasma… which contained the accumulation of my suffering. Just the echoes of my suffering caused this.
After the woman distracted took my lack of action as obediance, more love slaves appeared.
One of them caught my interest… I knew my target the moment she appeared.
But that aside… why not attack?
They are not sure that killing me would stop all of this. Of course, killing me doesn't stop anything ever but it's not like they know that.
But does that really matter? It's not like they have any time. It's actually over. All that's left is people with their minds shattered and those who were lucky to disconnect before the hit, that was all. There is absolutely no one to save. No one left. No one was left to save, alive was alive because of nothing but luck.
Those who slipped by 'divorce' are saved. But that had nothing to do with these people.
"Are you… Are you affiliated with that monster?"
Well… again I am underestimated. Truly, I feel nothing but coldness towards that question.
I am not the 'monster' because I am too weak to be the 'monster'.
Also, why didn't she order me to drop my weapon?
Let's see…
To answer that question… I hold the spear with two hands instead of one and stepped back.
"That spear isn't yours… nor do you know how to use it, cease your hostility! We won't show mercy to any intent to harm even if you can't harm us."
That sentence didn't make sense since if I had any 'hostility' you should've already killed me according to the other half of what you said.
Of course, I didn't say that loudly. I would however if I had an overpowered ability like Regulus's authority.
Oh… wait actually… I can still say it loudly. They will kill me but it's not like I am going to stay dead. So yes, I can talk.
—If not for the fact I don't want to die because of some words that don't need to be said.
Ah… a feeling behind me… the hair on my back…
"Why do you th–" Why do you think I am affiliated with anyone? That was what I wanted to ask and yet.
"Silence! You have no right to talk! You ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TALK! YOU WILL STAY SILENT AND DO IT WITHOUT MOVING!" The woman shut me off… while damaging her throat, that's for sure.
She tried to stay calm but then she couldn't hold it in.
This also revealed to me… I am not being questioned at all. They already hate me so much… they…
They aren't questioning me. They KNOW it's me. Then…
At that moment… I turned my back to the woman, I sensed something was… CHARGING.
Ah, a child with horns. I can't even see her face properly because of her two shining eyes… filled with immense mana.
A child.
A child.
A child.
With understandable rage.
Innocent…?
…
At that moment… Natsuki Subaru's eyes were wide open… with no hatred. The sharpness in those black orbs was gone. It was a moment that felt like forever, his body didn't move. It was as if everything was in slow motion.
Perhaps this was… a mistake.
Perhaps he lost something… crucial.
That impossible light inside of him… that DETERMINATION of his. Calmed down and retracted from Subaru. This was over. Death was inevitable because Subaru wasn't sure about anything…
Of course, he would start over. Regardless of what he did. He would continue for his ending.
"Subaru, thank you for saving me!" Ah… yes, perhaps there was meaning in things I achieved without questioning anything. The girl I swore to save. Knew that she was saved… right?
I mean… I was happy, right? Kinda…not enough for a happy ending, but it was 'something'.
"Cap'n you are such a dumbass… But I am happy that I lost to you!" Garfiel…
"Subaru… I mean! Subaru-sama… I am glad that you are so kind… Subaru. You are the kindest person I know! Even more than Emilia-sama, Otto, and I AM… ah…Ehhh! Aah… Please FORGET IT!" Petra.
"Subaru… I am glad it was you." Beatrice
"Do it, my niece… Bring justice!"
"I will avenge my father. DIE, VILLAIN! DIE!"
…Villain?
…Justice?
…I will die?
And then… it occurred to him. The dark DETERMINATION possessed him.
"—You're allowed."
Shut up!
"You saved me. And so, I will pardon that you be saved. I am wishing for you to be saved."
How can I… Fucking… idiotic… How the fuck am I going to move forward with that LOGIC?!
Stop it…I don't want to hear it. Don't make me remember!
But Natsuki Subaru wouldn't show mercy to himself… so… Return by Death continued.
"Echidna, I am afraid to die"
LYING PIECE OF SHIT! TRASH! IT WAS NEVER THAT SIMPLE!
"So I can't take your hand."
YOU FUCKING CAN! YOU CAN! YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN! YOU DON'T NEED TO DO ANYTHING AFTER TAKING IT! NOTHING WOULD CHANGE IF YOU JUST TOOK IT! DO EVERYTHING THE SAME WAY! DON'T ACT LIKE THERE IS NO 3RD WAY YOU PIECE OF SHIT!
Natsuki Subaru lacked Greed that day.
Echidna, The Witch of Greed, who was meant to be with Subaru until the very end… wasn't Greedy enough and tried to make him reject her hand.
I fucking hate what happened that day… I FUCKING REGRET IT. BUT STOP!
"I still don't know what that something is. —But, I'm thinking to find out. Once I know what it is, I think I'll be able to repay everyone in a way other than DEATH."
…
Something snapped inside of him.
Repay?
RE-PAY?
REPAY FOR WHAT?
His very consciousness went back… literally to that moment. With Determination and will to do it… everything was possible.
FOR WHAT?
…
Nothing.
He just lied to himself.
EMPTY.
EMPTY!
THERE IS NOTHING TO REPAY.
NOTHING! NOTHING!
Natsuki Subaru that day… while saying those meaningless words… thought about his happy moments.
But… such memories.
Isn't worth DEATH.
He was on his knees. With his body its proper age.
He was back in the VOID.
Darkness, darker than the nothingness itself, swirled around Natsuki Subaru… And he stayed in the eye of this hurricane.
He was no longer avoiding the darkness.
"...Will you be all right?" She once asked. In the past.
"I WON'T, I promise." He will not be alright. He will not assure her or calm her down. He was searching for truth. True ending. The satisfaction. No matter how much suffering was in it. This was the meaning of his existence.
"With the people who don't desire your death, the people who desire not to let you die, fight alongside–-
"People who don't desire my death… they are the ones who killed me most. You heartless bitch. Didn't you watch it? For people who don't desire my death to stay like that, I NEED TO FUCKING DIE ALL THE TIME!"
...And when even that isn't enough, die without forgetting what it is to fear death."
...And when even that isn't enough, die without forgetting what it is to fear death." ...And when even that isn't enough, die without forgetting what it is to fear death." ...And when even that isn't enough, die without forgetting what it is to fear death." ...And when even that isn't enough, die without forgetting what it is to fear death." ...And when even that isn't enough, die without forgetting what it is to fear death." ...And when even that isn't enough, die without forgetting what it is to fear death." ...And when even that isn't enough, die without forgetting what it is to fear death."
Ha… ha… ha…
Shallow.
So fucking shallow.
And not to mention… SHE TOLD ME TO DIE!
TO DIE!
AAHAHAHHHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
…
There are times. Fear of death…caused me to die more.
She doesn't understand at all.
What I need to do…
Is move forward.
Move.
Move.
Move.
M O V E.
And when the world resumed.
He got possessed by HIMSELF.
His very existence got glitched and…
Natsuki Subaru was filled with purpose: A demonic determination apparent in his eyes. The 'vulnerability' in his eyes which made the girl hesitate had faded.
As he was about to die he dropped the spear… which was a decoy all along and took out a tiny needle from his self-made pocket. It was the same size as Elsa's.
With a sick smile of freedom appearing in his face.
He thrust the needle forward. He didn't throw it or anything like that…
BUT!
The needle which was forcefully condensed into being so tiny…now it was released.
And it was traveling until it hit the target… it was a ridiculous way of attacking but the results were darker than any weapon.
The needle pierced the bull child's forehead and it didn't stop until it came out from the back of her head!
All the mana she charged was released.
BOOOOOOOM!
Red…
It was all red. Blood. Now a headless corpse, the child's brain, and skull burst open… releasing randomly.
It was not instant. Even though everyone there was more or less veteran warriors… they didn't instantly 'realize' the reality.
He made it like it was nothing.
And then, after seconds passed, they all started to appear beside him one by one… at extreme speeds. It was as if they were teleporting. Their rage made them faster.
But Subaru was laughing both inside and outside. They couldn't end his life in an instant. He knew that.
They kicked him… hit him from everywhere while making sure he wasn't dead just yet.
And at last… a woman was choking him while looking at him with hate. Yes, that was it. It was a child being choked while having the biggest smile his body could muster.
They couldn't end his life in an instant, it would be too merciful… he knew that. That's why they would lose.
Crash.
Splash.
Crack. Crack. Crack.
…
All of that rage and everything happened exactly above the forge… which was CONTROLLED by him.
"Hahahahahahahahahahahahha… HAHAHHAHAHAAHAH….I SURVIVED!"
Even with Louise, he would die so many times if he had chosen the path to escape and run. But no… he didn't care. And here he was. Not even one death. He won.
He knew… somewhat. He knew he would die hundreds of times, painfully each time, breaking him mentally and stripping him away of his self-worth… but it didn't happen.
Why? Because Subaru CAN THINK for himself now.
And now… They were all IMPALED.
But he didn't care. They, even that child perhaps, would kill him so many times if he wasn't brutal and efficient.
The metal spikes stopped their body… spikes coated in intrusive oils. It caused enough pain to stop them from concentrating on gathering enough mana required to cast spells.
They were dying slowly.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
They were coughing blood without stopping…
It's him or them. That's why he chose to save himself!
Like a person with a brain!
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I AM FREE!"
He was crying now… tears? Ah… ah….
Yes.
It's not like he regretted what he had done… but even so… even he wasn't sad for them.
—He was sad for himself.
Why does he need to do such things to survive?
Why couldn't he meet a person who would understand him and live a peaceful life in this world?
Why he saved Satella? He still doesn't care about remembering but… he was curious, why Subaru of the past saved her? Why didn't he just move on after helping her?
Why had he even saved Emilia? If he was smart and if he was a person with some wit… Roswaal's book wouldn't even make such a situation.
The darkness that possessed him, it was this new Return by Death.
A moment stretched out until Subaru made a choice.
And Subaru inside of his place possessed his previous self to act.
This was… Subaru's honesty.
No lie of "I don't want to die".
But an honest "I don't want to die".
He didn't care if he needed to discard fate, which would only work with his death.
But he didn't want to die pointlessly. Not because of some 'normal' reason.
But because…
"I wanted to care fo–"
…
Care for me… he was going to claim the first time in his life.
But he… died… no not yet…
He was decapitated.
And above his body was…
"What… why… why is this world so…"
A scared woman with rejection.
"Why?"
Why you ask… because of you.
"Why?"
Because you averted your eyes from the obvious.
"Why?"
Because you, who wanted to help people… didn't correct others when they started to worship you.
That is… surely what happened to Satella. There is no way Subaru would let the 'kind girl' he loved become something like that… perhaps it wasn't grand but simple things too… carry so much meaning.
And that is probably why the Subaru of old times… gave up.
Shallow… bitch. That's all there is now.
That is probably for me too. Emilia is no different. She is… probably the same.
I swear, I won't let history repeat.
I won't let my soul be crushed because people I love try to save everyone and become 'heroes' and 'divine beings'... never.
I promise you Subaru.
And while he was having the most important moment of his life… his acceptance of himself.
The woman sensed him.
"Why couldn't you just… die?" It was an honest question.
Subaru was defeated and he was nothing but a HEAD.
What was keeping him alive?
Why was he keeping himself alive?
For the sake of being able to think and reach the conclusion he just had of course.
But after that question was asked with true kindness, the woman recalled the BRUTALITY.
Her eyes filled with rage.
"I will never be forgiven… and I don't want to…"
He felt her geta on him… oh… so that's how—
PAIN!
He must be having a terrified expression right now… his skull was cracking.
"That's why… I will break my oath…"
PAIN!
Pressure increased once more.
"You can never say "I won't do this no matter what" but… there was one thing I was determined to never do"
More pain…
"I… I swore that I would never kill a child."
"And I know… even that… smile of yours has a reason. You never gave up… to do this. You couldn't… but you made one mistake."
…
"WHY DIDN'T YOU KILL ME?!" She shouted… and with the rage of her survival.
She finally did it.
She finally broke his promise as her geta broke his skull.
Natsuki Subaru's head turned into pieces… but before that… he never stopped smiling.
"Please don't forget―that there are people who will grieve your death."
I don't care. Only understanding matters… and I have no one that understands me.
Ironic… he made Yorna break her only promise.
If you liked the chapter please Kudos(AO3) and follow/favorite(FFN)
Yes. Things are getting darker… too dark maybe? Before you say "This is too much!" you gotta remember Subaru is killed by these guys… people in the re-zero community forget that people kill Subaru left and right.
In this chapter we get to see the workings of the new Return by Death which isn't fully developed, Return by death itself still questions how its new form should be.
That one moment of the stop was for Subaru to decide and make a choice, a determination, Return by Death and Subaru himself forced this. He was first affected by the fact that he made a child cry and wondered if he can tone things down… maybe there is a way between being hyper-determined for himself and the old Subaru who never did a thing for himself.
He gets to remember all the light side of things. Like Emilia and other people… Beatrice is being the strongest source of light for him, incomparable to others.
Then his consciousness reminds him of all the BULLSHIT and he just knows the good memories and shallowness will not be enough to stop him from breaking bad. However, he just consumed himself in the end.
That consumption is Self Possession just a moment ago Subaru was going to die because of his indecisiveness but unlike in old times… his new nature doesn't allow that and his consciousness stretches that single moment and makes him consume everything he lived and questions… and yeah, Subaru literally went back in his own memories and had thoughts he had while talking with Echidna and Satella. That made him so fucking angry. Angriest he ever been.
This is the way I am going with Return by Death. It has all the powers but limits set by Subaru's character and decision-making.
Oh and Satella isn't just hopeless… if she acts in a certain way she still has the potential to be cared for by Subaru. But yeah… that won't be happening soon. Let's admit, she is retarded and acts like a witch.
And about the monologue at the start… well… it's happening as you can see. It should be obvious who is that. And let me say it… her appearance won't be at the end or even middle. It's pretty close.
And yeah, I also kinda HATE the promise-obsessed nature of re-zero and Subaru getting trashed because he break his promises to save everyone. According to Tappei, even archbishops keep their promises. Look at the bad writing here. LoL.
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