"I cant change the things he did. I can't change the fact that he was my brother." Dick wanted to say to her as he tried his best to hold onto that thread of control, no one would hear the pain in his voice if he drowned it in tequila.
Why had he said anything? He didn't talk to any one about Cassidy. He didn't say anything about that guilt and regret and he'd sworn to never mention his brother to Cindy Mackenzie or Veronica. What had he been thinking?
Why was he out with Veronica's friends? He didn't exactly have a place here.
Mac frowned as he ordered a second irish coffee and silently placed a shot of tequila beside her empty glass. He didn't like the pale and saddened look on the pint-sized brunettes face.
The one that told a story of heartbreak and trauma. A far away look that his little brother had put there.
Dick had wondered many times how this girl had survived that night after he'd read the police statements of witnesses that had seen Cassidy racing up to the hotel roof where he'd confronted Veronica before she could expose him.
Exposed him as a killer.
How many times had he rolled his eyes watching his brother fiddling with his nerd contraptions... no, with his bombs and wires in his room while Dick detailed out his latest plan to win Madison back? Which of those had been the bomb he used to create the bus explosion that had killed Bettina?
He should have known better.
His fingers curled around his cell phone.
Had Gia gotten the edible flower arrangement he'd sent yesterday? She'd been out of commission with some intensive therapy since losing her dad.
Since his brother had murdered her dad.
Keeping her distracted with gifts was the smallest thing he could do, although he tried to keep his check-ins on the down low.
Dick crossed his arms over his chest and gestured to the large pitcher of beer on the bar as his fraternity brothers abandoned the karaoke stage and assembled around the billiards table for a few games.
He hated when his thoughts got lost in this dark mood. When he wanted to ask his brother questions that he couldn't ask anymore. Sometimes it felt like he was overcome with sorrow. Sorrow for the victims and their families, sorrow for his brother, who he loved, and anger at his mother and that stupid psychologist who'd wanted to know if Cassidy had ever mentioned hearing "special" messages from the TV and radio or voices directing him to do horrendous things and made it sound like his brother had suffered from some dissociative disorder.
The media had just made him sound like a monster.
It never would have been if Dick had just reached out and reminded Cassidy he wasn't alone.
"Mac said you were going to play with your balls." Dick said casually, causing Piz to awkwardly snort cranberry juice and choke some of it over his shirt.
"Any recommendations for me?" Dick had said in Mac's ear in a tone that suggested he was asking after a sexual preference before they watched him saunter off to bribe a waitress with $200 to sneak him a bottle of whiskey from behind the bar.
"Swipe right, let's not put a label on it babe." Piz muttered in a mocking tone. He crossed his arms in annoyance. "Its tragic he'll never know this is probably the Apex of his life. Oh come on… You are not playing fair!"
Wallace had tried his best to remain civil, It was rare that Piz ever voiced his ire at anything for fear of "rocking the boat," or "offending someone." But that status quo may have been easier for him to maintain before Dick's jibe about putting down the fruit juice and growing some hair on his nuts.
"This is a party, lighten up Pecks."
Mac did a little throat clearing of her own and directed Piz to take the next turn at the pool table.
"Some actions are water they evaporate without a trace, and some are wine. They leave a stain."
She mental recited thousands bytes of software code to distract herself from the way Dick's gaze had fallen to her collarbone, her chest as he had said that. The older Casablancas had a way of tearing down her defences faster than a virus ripping through a hard drive. Tech was a male dominated industry and sometimes when she was in competition with the guys she'd switched that feminine part of her brain off to get ahead that she forgot what it was like when a guy decided she was a female on the menu.
Did anyone else see through his carefully crafted blonde, fun and sexy persona?
What in Hell's half acre was she still doing here?