A/N- For every review you leave me, Oprah donates a pair of TOMS to a homeless dog. True story. So please review. Do it for the dogs.
Okay, I can't back that up. But it does make this author happy. And it also makes LizzieTurbo happy, because then she doesn't have to listen to me complain about my lack of reviews. ;)
It was shortly after nine in the morning when Piotr emerged from his room, finding Kitty and Rogue eating pancakes at the bar partition in the kitchen.
Kitty's face lit up when she saw him, and she hurried to swallow her mouthful of pancake to give him a wide grin, "Hey big guy... how'd it go?"
Piotr smiled sheepishly as he shuffled into the kitchen, "We had a very nice time."
"How late were you?" Kitty wagged her eyebrows at him suggestively, "I didn't hear you come home."
"I am a gentleman Katya, I do not kiss and tell." Piotr grinned as he helped himself to the stack of pancakes on the counter, "But I will say that it was fun..."
"That's code for no sex." Rogue chuckled, taking a big mouthful of her pancakes.
Kitty rolled her eyes and shook her head to prompt Piotr to continue talking,
"Anya loved the shirt you picked out. I am going into work in a bit, maybe you could help me decide what to wear?"
"Totally!" Kitty nodded enthusiastically, "That red shirt of yours would be perfect, and I'm pretty sure I saw a pair of faded jeans hiding in your closet."
"Woah, hold on a sec." Rogue lifted up her fork, "You pick out his clothes? What are you, the den mother now?" She chuckled to herself, "Are you going to start laying them out the night before for him?"
Kitty rolled her eyes again, and gave Rogue a look of exasperation, "I don't lay out his clothes, I help him dress to look his best." She turned back to Piotr and shielded her mouth from Rogue, "Ignore her, she's just jealous because I'm not around to lay out her clothes anymore."
Piotr smiled and leaned against the counter with his plate of pancakes, pouring some syrup over them. "She is very helpful."
"I caught him trying to leave the house in yellow." Kitty grimaced, "Seriously. With that complexion."
"Oh the humanity." Rogue said dryly, going back to cutting up her pancake with her fork.
"I know right?!" Kitty shook her head in memory of the event, "I should get paid for this stuff. It's not like the job offers are pouring in..." She stopped and turned to Rogue suddenly, "Holy crap, I could get paid to do this stuff!"
Rogue eyed Kitty skeptically, "Sure, you could get paid to do a lot of stuff. Do you have anymore interviews coming up?"
Kitty shrugged and took a bite of her pancake, "Yeah, I've got one lined up tomorrow. It's a receptionist position for a respectable looking paper company. I don't know how well I'd do as a receptionist though... too much sitting."
"You do have excellent compufer skills..." Rogue nodded thoughtfully with a smirk.
Kitty turned her attention back to Piotr, choosing to ignore Rogue's blatant jab at her resume's first draft, "So tell us about Anya. What's she like?"
"She is wonderful." Piotr grinned, "Very smart, which I do not think people give her much credit for. She has worked very hard to get where she is."
"It's not like dancing is much of an intellectual profession..." Rogue glanced at Kitty, "Much like a personal image consultant."
Kitty shot Rogue a sour look before turning back to Piotr, "Dancing is very competitive. I know, I watch So You Think You Can Dance."
"And she has the best sense of humor." he continued.
"Humor is very important." Kitty nodded thoughtfully, pointing at Piotr with her fork, "You don't want to get stuck with some sensitive sap who thinks you're always laughing at her. I mean, even if you are always laughing at her, a real woman laughs along. Most of the time."
Piotr smiled at his pancakes as he set the plate down on the counter across from Kitty, "She is just... perfect."
Kitty awed and Rogue rolled her eyes, "Please, give it a week. You'll find something wrong with her. I guarantee it. Nobody is perfect."
"Ahh chere," Remy breezed in, leaning against the counter next to Rogue with that well formulated look of seduction on his face, "Nobody is such a strong word..."
She knit her brow and looked at Remy through the corner of her eye, "You're not perfect either Remy, believe me. I've been there." She tapped his temple with the tip of her fork.
His smile widened and he inched towards her a tiny bit, dropping his voice to a nearly inaudible level, "I wasn't talking about me."
Rogue raised an eyebrow at him skeptically before turning back to her pancakes, "I've been called many things in my day, Lebeau, and perfect sure as hell ain't one of them."
"Doesn't mean it's not true, fleur." He murmured, circling around behind her closer than necessary. He casually placed a hand on her lower back as he reached between her and Kitty for an apple from the bowl in the center of the island, letting his hand drift a little bit south once he had the apple in his free hand, "It just means people aren't paying close enough attention."
He took a bite of his apple and gave her a wink. Rogue quizzically furrowed her brow at him for a moment before giving her head a resigned shake, "Right. Well, I'm going to go, because I've lost my perfect appetite." She announced as she stood up, turning to Kitty in time to miss Remy's grin drop, "I'll see you tomorrow, okay? I want to know how your interview goes."
"Aye aye Captain." Kitty gave Rogue a salute.
"And this whole image consultant thing... just... think it over." Rogue said from over her shoulder before exiting the apartment.
"Image consultant?" Remy took another bite of his apple and sat down where Rogue had been sitting, frowning at the door she'd just made her hasty exit through.
"Yeah!" Kitty lit up, "I just thought of it. I could totally help people with their colour analysis and personal style, and charge for it. Amazing, right? Sometimes I just think I am too smart..." She took another bite of pancake and Remy turned his attention back to her, nodding thoughtfully.
"It is a pretty good idea." He gave her a half grin, tipping his head to the side slightly, "Maybe I could be your first official client."
"Really?!" She beamed.
He lidded his eyes and slowly dragged his index finger down her shoulder, "I bet you could dress me up real nice..."
Kitty shivered and blinked at Remy, "Are you flirting with me?"
"I could help you with some of your clothes too... hmm?" He cocked an eyebrow suggestively and Kitty's face instantly turned a bright shade of pink,
"That's- I don't- I don't know what-" She stammered before Remy smacked the counter with a frown.
"Dammit, I knew it wasn't me!" He looked up at Piotr who looked less than amused, "That is how a girl is supposed to act when Remy puts the moves on her!" He gestured to Kitty who was slowly gaining composure, "Look at her! She's all hot and bothered. That's the Lebeau effect! She has to be gay! That is the only logical explanation for it." He shook his head with a note of finality on his decision.
"Gay?" Kitty shook her head once she had calmed her tingling nerves, "Rogue isn't gay."
"Yes, she is." Remy took another chomp of his apple and shook his head, "It's the only thing that makes sense."
"Remy, trust me. I shared a room with her for five years. She's not gay. Not even a little."
Piotr smirked at the look of frustration that spread across Remy's face, "It appears that she is just not interested."
"No, that can't be it." Remy muttered to himself, "And I'm obviously not losing my touch." He glanced at Kitty who gave him a goofy grin in return.
"Did you really think my personal image consultant was a good idea?" She asked with her goofy grin.
"What?" He looked back at her and shook his head, "No, that's a horrible idea. Nobody in their right mind would pay for that shit."
Her shoulders sagged and she let out a sigh, "You suck."
The smile returned to his face and he let out a chuckle, "I really had you going didn't I? I gotta tell you, petite, you gave me a really big ego boost. I needed that." He patted her on the head and she scowled at him,
"Maybe Rogue's just not interested in you because you're a despicable human being?"
"No... that can't be it." He frowned thoughtfully, "There must be something wrong with her. I give up trying. I'm writing her off. You shouldn't mess around with people you see all the time anyways, it's just not good planning."
"You are a planner." Piotr gave Kitty a sarcastic smile, causing her to giggle, "You must have subconsciously driven her away."
It was then that Pyro stumbled out of his room and down the hall, running his hand through his wildly untamed ginger locks and then down over his face, "Crikey, can't a guy get some extra shut eye around here?"
Kitty turned to inform him that it was past nine, and that he should consider going to bed earlier if he was that lacking in sleep, but instead she recoiled in disgust, holding her hand up to block Pyro out from the neck down, "God almighty Pyro, where are your pants?!"
"Couldn't find 'em." He yawned.
Remy took another bite of his apple and gave Kitty a smirk, "Just be grateful he found his boxers. Besides, you said you wouldn't mind nudity."
"Yeah well, I was bluffing." Kitty grimaced as Pyro stretched out the kinks in his back before scratching his nether regions.
"What's for breakfast?" He asked as he eyed the stack of pancakes behind Piotr, "Yum! Pancakes!"
There was a knock on the door and Remy promptly stood up, dramatically gesturing to his chair, "Take a seat." He gave Kitty wink over his shoulder before heading to the door.
When Pyro sat down Kitty's eyes shot skyward, "Pyro! Your... dingos have escaped!"
Piotr frowned, "That is not sanitary..."
Pyro grinned as he adjusted himself, "I can't help it mate, they've got a mind of their own."
"Where's my girlfriend?!" Came the angry voice from the doorway Remy was hovering at.
Remy chuckled and rested his forearm against the doorjamb casually, "You're gunna have to be a bit more specific, mon amie. I get quite a bit of female traffic through here-"
"You wanna do this the hard way Cajun? Let's rock and roll."
Upon hearing the horribly familiar pun, Kitty jumped to her feet and shouted out, "Lance?!"
Remy stepped back from the door, turning to look back at Kitty.
"Wait, Avalanche Lance, is your boyfriend Lance?" Remy snorted and shook his head with a smirk, "Damn petite, you have bad taste..."
"You wanna shake things up? Let's go, hombre." Lance frowned, giving Remy a threatening little shove which erased the smirk from Remy's face.
"Touch me again and I'll break every bone in your hand." He warned through gritted teeth.
"Stop!" Kitty held up her hand, "Lance, what are you doing here? How did you... even know where I live?"
"I followed Rogue." Lance lifted his chin, adjusting his denim vest indignantly, "I waited for her to leave because... you know... we don't get along."
Pyro snorted, "There's no surprise there. I've yet to meet another human being aside from this little Sheila she does get along with. Am I right?" he grinned, waiting for some acknowledgment that never really came.
Lance eyed Pyro in his state of undress before cutting his eyes back to Kitty, "What the hell is going on?"
"These... are my roommates..." Kitty said with a pathetically sweet smile. "Surprise!"
"These are your fu-" He ran a hand through his hair and looked at Piotr with a scowl before squeezing his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose, "Your roommates?! What are you thinking?! Did you think I'd be okay with this?!"
Kitty folded her arms, "Frankly, it's really none of your business. I mean, I don't need to ask your permission to live with someone."
"Uh... in this type of situation Kitty, yes. Yes you do." Lance said with wide eyes, "What about that girls night you had? When you said you were too sick to go on our date?!"
"It was just like, a roommate bonding... thing." Kitty shrugged, "Besides, it's not like you ever have anything planned. I didn't think it would be a big deal skipping out on one date night eating Mac and Cheese and watching 24 re runs."
"Man, I had the movie times all written out and an Applebee's coupon all ready to go. And do you know how hard it is to find a theater that plays Will Ferrel movies in 3D?! It's damn hard!"
"Wow, that sounds like... a real romantic date." Remy gave Kitty a disapproving head shake, "You really missed out."
"Quiet, you." Lance hissed at him.
"You're totally over reacting." Kitty shook her head, "This is why I didn't want to tell you in the first place-"
"Over reacting." He let out an unamused laugh, "My girlfriend is shacked up with three guys! Dudes I used to work with! I don't think there's any level of reacting that would be considered over reacting, Kitty."
"You never worked with us." Remy shook his head.
"More like... work adjacent." Piotr suggested, gaining a nod of approval from Remy.
"He does have a point, Sheila." Pyro said with a nod, helping himself to Kitty's plate of lukewarm pancakes. "I mean, I'm practically naked right now... You help Petey get dressed daily-"
"Shut it!" Kitty snapped quickly, "This entire living situation is completely platonic. I have no interest in any one of these boys. At all."
Remy grinned, "Well... I wouldn't say no interest..." He gave her a wink and she rolled her eyes.
Lance let out a deep breath through his clenched jaw and tried to calm himself, "I tried Kitty. I tried being there for you. I tried being the attentive boyfriend. I stuck around, you know?"
Kitty's brow pinched and she shook her head, "Lance-"
"No." He held up his hand, "I haven't even seen you since you moved out a month ago! An entire month! I went to see you at work and they told me you were fired and tried to burn the place down! I don't even know who you are anymore!"
"Woah, hold on. I did not try to burn the place down. They have no proof."
He rubbed the back of his neck and shook his head, "I don't want to be the douchebag who dumps his girlfriend when she's... going through stuff, but you've been pushing me away for months, and dammit I'm done."
Kitty squared her jaw and frowned.
"I'm done." He repeated, to emphasis his point.
"Fine." She responded evenly.
He gave his head a shake before turning around giving Remy one last scowl before stomping out the door, slamming it shut behind him.
The room was plunged into awkward silence as Kitty stared at the floor for a long two minutes. Finally Piotr cleared his throat,
"Katya-"
"Nope, I'm good." She said quickly before he could say anything more. "Um... I'm just going to go see if I can find those faded jeans for you."
"Katya, you don't have to-"
"It's okay." She nodded with a watery smile, "I'm good." She gave them a thumbs up before turning to walk down the hall to Piotr's room, leaving the three men in an awkward silence of their own.
Eventually, Pyro scratched his nose and let out a breath, "I'd go set his stupid Jeep on fire if I could find my pants."