In which Arya realizes that giving away is harder than holding on
*Year 305 After Conquest (AC) – New Future*
Arya didn't get much sleep after Daenerys left. Osha had let her be after the older woman tucked her in bed. As soon as the door behind her clicked shut, Arya lay still, looks at nothing and let her mind drifts to wherever place it wanted to. There is no noise or chaos inside her head as she did so and she let herself drift away, loss yet tethered somehow.
That is how Osha found her the next morning – unmoved and fully awake.
She didn't acknowledge the older woman with a response when her voice carried a question. Not only when her vision was obscured did Arya finally looks up and find Osha standing over the bed, frowning and unhappy.
"Did you sleep last night?" Osha asked.
Arya settles back to her pillow. "Perhaps… Perhaps not." What does it matter, now?
Everyone seems to be doing just fine— her family most of all, especially for her brother and his bride-to-be. Everything that she had done to protect her living loved ones had led her to this day and she is not going to complain. After all, she had succeeded tremendously.
Osha said nothing else as she finally starts to tend to her and Arya falls into another routine as they get ready for the day.
When that's finished, she was moved to the small table at the corner of the room where plates of food already await. The Wildling moves to take a seat in front and starts eating.
"Going out of this room could do you good." She commented suddenly.
Arya spread the cheese on her bread and takes a bite, trying to ignore the older woman. She had a feeling where this conversation will lead to.
"You should see the city…meet new people and busy yourself." Osha continued when there is no response. "It'll be fun to explore someplace new."
"Perhaps you should go," Arya snaps, "since you are so enticed by the city and its people." She had no frame of mind to be anywhere near the bustling people of Kings Landing.
Osha looks less than bothered by the outburst. "I will…and as a matter of fact I am."
"I'm glad we settled the conflict of your leisure time."
The Wildling continued as if she wasn't being interrupted. "I'm going to the city this afternoon and you're going away with your brother."
The young Stark stops her chewing. "Jon?"
Osha nods. "He said he wants to take you somewhere. He'll be coming to fetch you in a while."
She sips her water and swallowed the remaining of her food, suddenly losing appetite. "I'd rather stay here." She doesn't know if she can treat Jon the same way as before now that she knows who he's going to become.
"You can't run from him forever, Arya."
The black eyes in front looked at hers with kindness and knowingly making Arya uncomfortable. She forced a smile. "Stating the obvious now, Osha? Since running is not my forte, I can wheel myself out of his way every time then."
The Wildling doesn't look at all amused at her attempt of jest instead her gaze only softens. "I cannot offer you any advice for this, little lady. You're a smart girl, always were and I'm sure whatever your heart tells you to do, it'll be the best for your family and yourself."
Arya looks away to the open veranda near them. "I don't know about that…" she trails as the wind moves the curtains gracefully. "Everything that I decided, it got me here – crippled, failed to save the other half of my family and Nymeria." Not to mention she's getting further away from the one person that she loves the most.
"Let's not forget that you're also the Queen. You keep the North's peace, saving thousands of lives." Osha said, catching the young girl's attention again. "And you saved mine as well." The smallest smile on her lips.
"I didn't–"
"Remember when we first met in Winterfell's kitchen years ago?" Osha cuts in.
Arya sighs. "I'm sure you're about to tell me."
"I thought you are just like the other nobles – a fool who lives in a luxury. You have a fancy dress, fancy hair and even fancy chair."
Arya waits expectantly, but Osha seems to have finished. "But, I proved you wrong?" she tried.
"No, you're still a fool who lives in luxury. Only that I realized, you're a different kind of fool. The noblest kind of fool, and also the unlucky kind of fool."
She resists the urge to roll her eyes. "Thank you for those inspiring words. Who would have thought all I need to start my day was an insult."
Osha looks pleased with herself, leaning back to her chair and continue to finish her meal.
*
Jon came later that afternoon just as Osha had claimed. Only when the older woman had left did Arya finally notice the clothes she wore were for riding. And when Jon greets her with a wide grin in her room, she can't help but reciprocate – albeit a forced one.
"Will Rickon be joining us?" she asked as he pushes her through the hallways.
"No, he won't… He said he values his life more." There was a smile in his voice.
Arya looks over her shoulder. "You're not taking me somewhere dangerous now, are you?"
"Of course not, little sister... It's the most serene place I've encountered." He argued though she can see the glint in his eyes.
"I shouldn't be worried then?"
"Not at all," he assured.
She settled back comfortably though still with a curious mind filling her head. But, it soon vanished when they finally arrived at the courtyard and Carrot was already there, waiting. Arya feels the lifts at the corner of her mouth at the familiar sight and she takes over the wheels from Jon to move closer.
Carrot neighs cheerfully at the sight of her closing by. "Hello there." Arya pets his face down to his muzzle when she finally reached him. Carrot bumps his cheek against hers at the contact and Arya smiles wider. "How are you?" she whispers, stroking him affectionately. "Did the city horses treat you well?" she asked playfully as she looked into his eyes and getting a short nicker from him. He sounded satisfied.
"I heard that Lavender and Carrot seem to enjoy each other's company." A sudden familiar voice echoed from behind.
Arya turns around to find Daenerys standing close, gripping a rein of her own as she strokes a white horse beside her. The young Stark was too startled by the silver-haired queen unexpected arrival that she didn't bother to respond to Daenerys remarks.
The small smile that Daenerys wore disappeared little by little as the silence continues to grow.
The last conversation she had with the older woman yesterday inside her room comes into mind and she remembered treating Daenerys dismissively. She knows she should apologize but a huge part of her didn't want to. A huge part of her wants Daenerys to feel the ache she feels inside her heart. It's inconsiderate and stupid but Arya is blinded by her chaos of emotions.
"I heard it too." Jon interrupts, successfully breaking the staring of both women. He had taken a rein too, guiding his black horse closer towards them. "Jares, the stable lad had a hard time separating Carrot and Lavender."
As if to prove a point, Carrot trots towards Lavender, leaving Arya alone. He neighs loudly, greeting the other horse. Lavender responded similarly, although more graceful. Her white hair flips with poise at her movement as if she is pleased by the other horse attention.
Arya felt betrayed. "Carrot, come here."
He didn't budge. Instead, Carrot trots around Lavender and Daenerys, happily nickers around the white mare and the silver-haired woman without care. Arya glares at him silently. Traitor.
Jon chuckles, oblivious to the state of the young girl. "What did I tell you."
Arya let her brother's comment unanswered as she continues to observe the two horses. While in truth, she was observing the woman that stood by them, as she strokes the two with the gentleness that Arya well remembered the sensation of.
Having calmed them both, Daenerys turns with both reins in her grips, moving them forward. Arya straightened her back as the older woman walks her way. When Daenerys finally passes Carrot over to her, Arya reaches out to take the rein. At Carrot's mild protest of being handed over, it can't help that their fingers brush against one another as Arya tried to control him. She tried to ignore the warmth of Daenerys skin as it comes in contact all the same.
Only when Carrot is finally reluctant and settles down did Daenerys lets go and Arya tries very hard not to reach out and pull the older woman's hand in hers again. She looks up to violet eyes and finds that the older woman was looking at her with an intensity that Arya feels she's about to drown in. But, it ended as soon as it started when Daenerys turns and left.
"How about Rickon? Is he coming?" she heard Daenerys asked from her side.
"I'm afraid not. He prefers strolling around the city." Jon answered.
"We should depart then."
Jon moves to stand in front of Arya, breaking her reverie and helps her onto Carrot. The young Stark murmured her thanks as he straps in the last bindings around her feet. She wonders if she should feign sick and retreat to her room, now knowing that Daenerys will be joining them in this little trip. But the thought of fleeing doesn't get far when the three of them are already trotting out of the gate with guards at each of their side.
The young Stark didn't dare to steal glances at the older woman who is now trotting beside her. Instead, Arya keeps her chin up and her spine straight, ignoring Daenerys presence and focus on the road ahead.
*
It proves to be useless after all. When Arya purposely leads Carrot further away from the other woman, he brings them back to the white horse closer than before – as if to prove a point. When she felt a push and a nudge once in a while because of their horses trotting that close together, it was getting hard to pretend that Daenerys presence beside her doesn't exist. After a few more pulling and voice commanding, Carrot still reacted to none as he remained to trot in his spot beside Lavender.
Unbelievable. She scoffed softly. Unfortunately for Arya, Daenerys heard her loud and clear.
"Force of attraction is not something you can control." The dragon queen commented. Her face calm and if not for the closeness that they were in, Arya would not notice the subtle lift at the corner of her lips.
She supposed controlling a reluctant horse can be amusing to any spectator. The young Stark gives up then and lets Carrot be.
"Perhaps we should let them mate," Daenerys said suddenly.
That made Arya turns to face her. "You can't be serious?"
"I am," Daenerys said, firm. When Arya takes too long to answer, Daenerys raised a brow. "Why? Is Lavender not to your liking?"
"My liking has nothing to do with this. It's just not the season for them yet."
"Your horse is about ready to mount mine at any moment if we aren't already on them. I say the season has come."
Arya scoffs. "Now, you're a horse expert… I'm surprised you would let any horse get near yours anyway. Aren't there any rules for breeding the royal mares?"
Daenerys fights back the urge to react. If she didn't know any better, she would say that the younger girl is trying to get a rise out of her. "Whatever rules you Northerners have about horse breeding, we don't have them here. Should they not have the freedom to choose their mate?"
Arya lets her gaze rooted on the violet orbs, not backing down. "Do they have such freedom if you already decided upon yourself that they should mate in the first place?"
The dragon queen bristles slightly at the insinuation. "Do you need more proof to notice that they are attracted to one another?"
"Well, sometimes attraction should not be acted upon at all… Sometimes, an attraction is just that – an attraction." Arya starts. When she looks at the dragon queen, all she can see is the woman that declared her love in the Godswood another lifetime ago. But, that person is gone now and in her place is another woman who had made her choice differently. "You may not have control over who you're attracted to, but you can be responsible to control whether to act on it or not…especially if you're going to leave the other."
The words came out before Arya can control herself. For a while, neither says a word and both remain impassive as they hold onto one another's gaze, undeterred by their surroundings. Until Daenerys speaks up.
"Are we still talking about the horses?"
Arya looks away instantly, relief to not be locked into the abyss of violet again. "Of course..." she trails, getting a hold of herself. "What else would we be talking about?"
She can feel Daenerys gaze boring at the side of her face, studying. Arya turns to her again. "My point is that bonding them is not a good idea… Carrot would be leaving eventually and I don't want Lavender to suffer when she can't find him anywhere."
Daenerys softens. "Perhaps you're right… Or you can stay in Kings Landing a little longer. You're always welcome here."
Daenerys is nothing but sincere as she offered her extended invitation. "I can't," Arya said finally. "I must return home once the wedding is over."
And just like that, her mood soured again at the mention of a certain event. So, the young Stark looks ahead and let the silence envelopes them once more, ignoring whatever expression Daenerys could have worn at her dismissive tone.
Arya lets her thoughts wander at the busy people who walk down the streets and at the sways of her horse.
They didn't talk again for the whole ride.
*
In the end, they arrived at the Dragonpit. Despite everything, Arya grows excited as Jon carried her off Carrot and into the entrance of the building. But, her excitement tripled when three dragons await them. Drogon, Rhaegal and Veserion are leisurely resting on top of the broken walls. The open space makes them comfortable to spread their wings and climb onto the stairs and pillars. The place looks like a massive playground for the wing-scale creatures.
Daenerys walks towards Drogon then, and the dragon moves towards her naturally and greets her with a toss of his head. Arya imagined that they would join the dragon queen, but instead, Jon walks to another direction.
"I want you to meet Rhaegal." He said with a smile as he looks down at the girl in his arms.
As if the dragon knew, Rhaegal spread his wings and fly down from the pillars that he had perched on earlier. The gust of wind slaps Arya's face violently before it slows and stops as Rhaegal finally landed. When she opens her eyes, the winged beast is right in front of her.
"Don't be scared, he's just curious," Jon assured her.
Arya feels the lift at the corner of her lips. "I'm not scared." Being this close, she can see Rhaegal's green and bronze scales. And his yellow-orange coloured wings shine against the sunlight. But, what stood out the most is his bronze eyes as he closed in and regards her silently.
"Can I touch him?" she looks up to Jon with excitement.
"Go on." When Arya shot her hand out, Jon reprimands. "Slowly, Arya… Let him come to you."
The young girl retracts her hand, mumbling a sorry and does as was told. Rhaegal gaze flickers to her outstretched hand and her face and then to Jon's. It lasted for a while and her arm almost gone numb when the dragon finally moves his face closer. His snout only a hairbreadth now and Arya's heart leapt when her skin finally touches his scales.
Rhaegal's skin feels smooth and glossy. The feeling was extraordinary and she reaches out further to his jaw, feeling the warmth that somehow familiar and comforting.
"Rhaegal likes to be scratch under the chin," Jon said, breaking her train of thoughts. "It's his favourite spot… Go on, give it a try."
There was a playful smile on his lips and Arya doesn't know if he's bluffing or not. Surely, her brother wouldn't let the dragon harm her. Though she's puzzled about this whole ordeal, she reaches out under Rhaegal's jaw and scratch.
It seems that she has pushed a switch as Rhaegal makes a sound that is foreign for her to interpret – it almost feels like a whine combines with a hum.
"He likes it," Jon confirms.
Arya stops her motion and retracts her hand to herself again. "How do you know about him so well?"
Rhaegal growls lowly, catching their attention and Arya smiles as she strokes him at his favourite spot again.
"I've been meaning to tell you." Jon's voice sounded serious as she continues to put her attention at the dragon that had been making himself comfortable on the ground.
"Tell me what?"
"Rhaegal and I have a special relationship."
Arya stops and turns to him. "What do you mean?"
He shifted on his feet. "It happens during the last war against the Lannisters. When we were attempting to breach the River Gate in the capital, we didn't expect for it to be heavily guarded there as well since Dany gathered the rest of the troops elsewhere. But, as it was, I was trapped, until the last minute, Rhaegal came and saved us. At the heat of the battle, when I saw him lowering to the ground, I climbed on him and he lets me." Jon finished with a faraway look on his face.
At the side, Rhaegal grew tired of waiting when the two would not acknowledge his presence anymore, so, he spread his wings and flies off back to the pillars.
Arya puts the pieces in her head. "You rode him?"
"I did and I still am."
There is a slight bitterness that she can't pinpoint growing inside her. "But, no one can ride the dragons but the Targaryens."
Jon forces a smile. "I know that too." And then he shrugs. "Perhaps Rhaegal know I will become family."
The bitterness has definitely taken a hold in her now. "Right."
Jon lightens then. "So, are you ready to see the place?"
Arya frowns. "This is not it?"
"No, little sister. It's far away from here and we will need to ride the dragons to reach there… And since I still don't know how to bring another passenger with me, you will ride with Dany."
There was a pause as Arya tries to comprehend what's just being said. The wind blows and Jon only looks back calmly with no intention to correct the things he just said. Instantly, she grows restless.
The thought of flying with Daenerys terrifies her. Not only did their last conversation didn't end that well, but Arya also doesn't know if she can survive to be so close with the older woman with no place to hide. "It's a bad idea." she blurts out.
"How so?" He looks at her expectantly and she tries very hard not to fidget around under the scrutinized gaze.
Perhaps there is still a way out of this. They can go back to the Red Keep and find something else to do to entertain themselves. The city is vast and they can join Rickon and Osha in their sightseeing. Anything else is acceptable. Arya needs to think fast. "You forced her to do this, didn't you? She's the Queen of the Six Kingdoms and you made her chaperone us to wherever this place is."
Jon does not seem bothered at all. "She actually insisted. When I tell her about how fixated you are on dragon's lore and about your favourite book, she seems surprised but when I told her about our plan to go visit my favourite place, she suggested that we should go together… She even knew about your idol, Visenya Targaryen, the warrior princess."
Arya recalled the lie she told when the dragon queen visited her in the room the other day and she blanched. It seems she's digging her own grave with each time passed and perhaps the reason the dragon queen is so patient with her antics is so that Daenerys can toss her out of Drogon when no one else was there.
She's going to die–
*
–Out of embarrassment, it seems.
When Arya doesn't have anything else to say, she lets herself be handled and pray to anyone and anything to get this thing over with quickly. Jon climbs Drogon's back with his outstretched wing and as the dragon lowered himself, it became easy for Jon to bring her along – almost like climbing stairs.
"I'll see you soon." He bids goodbye once he safely puts her down.
Arya only managed a nod as she tries to settle further into the crook of Drogon's spine. Jon had placed her sideways, both her legs out and she's facing the dragon's left side. Only when Daenerys climbs up did Arya finally become self-conscious and notice how awkward her position is.
Daenerys doesn't seem to share the sentiment as she wordlessly sits at the spot beside Arya and then reaches over to grab ahold of the dragon's protruded spine which is on her other side. In doing so, their bodies end up pressing close together as Daenerys wrapped her arms around the other girl.
When Arya turns to the older woman their faces are dangerously close together. "Perhaps you should sit in front?"
Daenerys lets go of the hold and instantly the space between them magnifies – though not by much. "It's safer this way… I wouldn't want to lose you mid-air."
The dragon queen doesn't trust Arya to be able to hold herself secure and truth be told, Arya doesn't either. "Fine." She finally said, albeit reluctantly.
As Daenerys secured their position again, Drogon slowly spread his wings and then they flaps and before Arya knows it, they're flying. The wind gushing through her face and her hairs and her entire body– Arya never felt more alive than at this moment. She felt lost as she stares at the horizon and the scenery spread in front of her, not thinking about anything.
But the serenity got interrupted when a sudden roar echoes from nowhere and when it grew closer by the seconds, Rhaegal is there behind them. Arya can see the small figure of Jon at the back of the dragon. As Rhaegal roars again, he speeds up and flies past Drogon so close that Drogon has to manoeuvre his path at the last minute to avoid a collision.
Unfortunately for Arya, during the whole thing, she accidentally looks down and what she sees made her breath caught in her throat.
Daenerys chuckles softly, oblivious. "Don't worry, the dragons always did this sometimes… It's their way of playing."
The young Stark can't hear anything other than the thunder of her own heart. She can't look away from the ground and at how high they are currently flying. Her body seems to remember the last time she was this high and how painful the hard ground was against flesh and bones.
"Arya?"
She swallowed down bile and turns to violet eyes. "Can we fly lower…? I can't breathe."
Daenerys finally noticed how pale the other girl looked. Remembering Arya's questions, she instantly signals Drogon to reduce his speed and height. "What happened?" she asked, concern.
Absentmindedly, Arya grabs a hold of Daenerys arm for support as they are lowering to the ground. "You don't need to stop…just fly low." She mumbles while trying to get a hold of herself. This is not the place or time to be weak, especially in front of–
"If you can't look at me and tell me what's the problem, Arya, then I will have to stop."
Arya closes her eyes as she takes a deep breath.
Seeing the unresponsive state of the girl around her arms only made her concern doubled. "You're clearly not alright… I'm stopping this." Before Daenerys can do anything however, the young Stark turns to face her.
"I'm fine now."
Grey orbs hold against violet ones. As Daenerys studies the face in front of her, the colour has returned from Arya's face and she's almost convinced that the girl wasn't just having panic attack moments ago.
Arya turns away and loosens her hold on the other woman's arm. She focuses instead on the green leaves of trees and the brown patch of dirt moving pass them in a much slower pace than before.
Now that they are flying slower, Daenerys lets go of her hold. She leans back and sits comfortably, giving Arya the much-needed space. As she studies the girl's profile, the pieces fit together. "It's because of your fall, isn't it?"
Arya stiffens and then nods.
"I'm sorry… I should have known better before taking you on this ride."
"I didn't." She turns, meeting Daenerys gaze. "I didn't know that I would react this way so how would you."
"Well, at least now we know." Daenerys offers.
"Yes, I will have to take note for the next dragon ride; less speed and even less height." She deadpanned, unaware of the smile that Daenerys wear as Arya looks away to the scenery before her again.
The silence passes by comfortably and the young Stark takes the chance to control her breathing and buried her discomfort away. It works when she feels more of herself again as the scenery keeps changing before her. Even with the change of flight, Drogon seems perfectly calm and unbothered. As she reaches down to his black scales only did her mind grasp that she is riding a dragon. Never in her life would she imagine to finally be riding one. True, she had ridden Drogon once another lifetime ago, but this time she can proudly say that she remembered how it feels when anyone were to ask. She chances a glance to the other woman who is enjoying the scenery as well.
"How did you control Drogon?" she started, getting Daenerys attentions. "You didn't voice out any command to him, yet he did as you wanted."
The younger girl looks nothing but curious, so the dragon queen answered. "I voice it out in my head and he listens… I guess it's a bit like him reading my mind. And it works both ways, when he's distress or content, I would know. Of course, he doesn't talk but he expresses himself in many ways and his feelings become mine as well."
"That's amazing," Arya said truthfully. "How about now? What is Drogon feeling now?"
Daenerys closes her eyes and hums to herself. "He loves that he can fly at an abnormal pace. He's never done it before."
"Well, that just rubbing salt to my open wound."
The dragon queen opens her eyes then. "Unlike you, sarcasm is not what dragons are capable of."
"I guess this is it."
Daenerys quirked her eyebrow. "This is what?"
"This is where you'll toss me and be rid of me once and for all."
"I'm on the verge of doing it if you don't stop your humourless humour." Daenerys deadpanned.
Arya tries very hard to control her face but to no avail. She chuckles and it grew into a full laugh which the older woman mirrored. Their laughter echoed and carried by the wind passing by.
"If I knew that threatening your life is all it takes to make you laugh, then I should have done it sooner," Daenerys commented as the young woman is trying to contain herself, no doubt wanting to regain back her dignity. "That is the first smile I've seen you wore since you came to Kings Landing."
Arya looks up to the older woman then, shrugging. "I haven't had any reason to do so." She counters and notices late at what that means.
Daenerys features change almost instantly. "I see… It seems the news of your brother's wedding displeases you then. I would like to hear why you disapprove of me."
The violet orbs in front don't waver and Arya sighs inwardly. She guesses there is no hiding from this anymore. "It's not you."
"If it's not me, then is it about the title I hold? Do the lords and ladies in the North see this marriage as a way for me to gain absolute power against them? Or perhaps they think that Jon would sway you into submission and they would eventually lose their freedom over their lands?"
"I don't care about any of that."
Daenerys looks more than surprised. And truthfully, so does Arya. She knows she should be responsible and see how the union would affect their diplomacy but right now she just can't. She will have time to think about that later. "I don't care about politics and about what the others might think. I spent years listening to their complaints, making choices for them and I'm tired… I have Sansa and Rickon helping me but even then, I'm exhausted to carry this responsibility. So, knowing that you will have Jon by your side makes me glad because this crown is too heavy to be carried by only one." She exhaled, feeling a relief of burden to be lifted, however small. "But Jon is my brother… I was the one that sends him to you years ago. He didn't want to at that time but I send him anyway."
"So, you regret it?"
A pause, as grey orbs study the clear violet eyes. "I regret sending him to you but I also do not regret any of it since he helped you win the last war. If it were anyone else, we might still be in one."
"You may have forced him at the beginning but is it not the results that matter?" Daenerys counters softly. "Jon is a great man. He's humble and kind, he's an exceptional leader who inspires people when needed to. That is why he would be a good King."
Arya clenches her jaw tight. "Do you love him?"
There was a deafening silence as the last question hung heavy. They stare at each other with such intensity that neither seems to be aware of. For a while, Arya thought that Daenerys didn't hear her question but Arya doesn't know if she can repeat the question, so she didn't and just wait instead.
Painfully and painstakingly long, though perhaps it lasted only for a while – Daenerys finally answered. "I do."
Sometimes all it takes for a person's whole life to drop is just that. Those two words and Arya takes them to heart.
*
It was late in the afternoon when they finally return to the city. The rest was a blur to the young Stark. She remembered finally arriving at the place where Jon was already there, waiting. She recalled him presenting scenery of hundreds of plains of flowers but she couldn't focus. She can't point out their colours or their smells.
All she felt was numb.
When they rode for the journey back, she felt the familiar warmth encasing her body while Drogon flew and the breath of a certain silver-haired woman close to her face, but she didn't acknowledge any of it.
She wants to get this over with. She wants to get into her bed and sleep the rest of the day away.
She just wants to get away from everything.
"Did you enjoy your dragon riding?" Rickon's voice sounded then, breaking her from a trance. When she looks up she finally notices that she's in her room now. Rickon and Osha are standing by the small table—which has been filled with different kinds of packaging.
"It went alright," Jon said when she took too long to answer. He pushed her chair by the bed before closing on them. "What about you?"
"We went to almost every trade shop and bought all these things… Osha bargained them for a cheap price." Rickon explains with a smile.
Jon reaches for a paper bag which contains a shiny looking bracelet. "A cheap price you say? Are you sure it's not fake merchandise?"
Osha grabs the bag from his hand then. "I'll have you know, I have the best eyes for swindlers."
Jon chuckles. "If you say so. Anyway, how about din—"
"Why didn't you tell me earlier about you and Daenerys?" Arya interrupts, looking up and meeting Jon's eyes.
Silence envelops them and the tension grows heavier by the seconds at her sudden question. Rickon and Osha awkwardly exchanging glances before Osha finally decided and drags Rickon out of the room without a word, leaving the two.
Jon walks closer to her then. "I was waiting for the right time."
"The right time? And by this, you mean the piece of the scroll that you send out? That was the right time to tell me you're marrying the Queen of the Six Kingdoms? You're riding Rhaegal, the dragon too now… Any more secrets you'd like to unravel? Please, do tell."
"It is never my intention to keep anything from you, Arya."
She closes her eyes to control herself. To control her breathing and to control her rising rage. She turns away then. But, Jon followed her and he ended up sitting on the bed, facing close to her.
Dark grey orbs wait until the eyes in front finally look at him. "I didn't plan any of this… It just happened. When I left Winterfell with Dany, I didn't know I was going to be the King of the Six Kingdoms."
"Were you two together then?"
"Sort of… It wasn't anything serious until—"
"Until it is."
He looks regretful and somewhere deep inside Arya knows that he shouldn't be.
"Forgive me about not telling you sooner, but I don't want you to worry unnecessarily. You have enough in your plate already… But now, it's finally the time."
What a mess this is and Arya feels terrible about it all. Everything is just wrong with her. "Do you love her?" she forced out. She needs to know.
The corner of his lips lifts and if they aren't sitting so close, she would have missed it.
"All this time when I was away, when I feel lonely and I think about home, about Father, about you, she became a happy place, a refuge for me… She supported me and I do the same." He pauses, catching her eyes. "If that's love, Arya then I'm overwhelmed."
What else is there for her to say.
*
Sleep didn't come that night and truthfully Arya doesn't need one. She had been feeling like she's been sleeping for years and now she's finally awake. These things that are unravelling before her eyes had finally made her alert more than ever. She needs to keep up with everything that has happened within the past few days – was it just a few days, because it sure felt longer – She needs to acknowledge them as it is and move on.
She needs to.
But she can't. Even after everything that happened and will happen. She still can't.
As the sun peeks its way through the roofs of homes down the city, Arya hears the faint knock against her door. She stays silent, hoping for whoever is outside would leave her to her thoughts.
But unfortunately, there is no such luck.
Osha announced her presence before walking to the open veranda where Arya is seated. She looks at the young girl up and down silently and Arya remains impassive.
At the lack of reaction, the Wildling only sighs and provides nothing else. Perhaps the older woman finally knows what a lost cause she is. As they get into another familiar routine, Osha tells her about how important today's breakfast is and Arya remembered late what today will bring.
Today will be lots of meetings with people. Daenerys and Jon, as well as the other southern lords and ladies, will be joining for today's breakfast in an informal meet.There's no way Arya can escape that. She had to represent the North and furthermore, this is the best time that she can meet these lords and give them a piece of her mind face to face without having to use ravens and scrolls.
"Try not to bite anyone's head off later." Osha voiced out as if reading the girl's mind. She ties the last string on Arya's dress and then dons her leather armour top next.
The young Stark gives a pointed look. "I know how to civilize with them. I have an abundance of experience back at home that I constantly dealt with."
Osha hums all the while giving Arya a look that she's sure is only borderline agreement. The older woman then proceeds to get the Queen's crown from a wooden box that she had brought and placed it carefully on the wearer.
Arya stares at her reflection from the small mirror that placed in front of her. The bronze circlet feels weighty and thick on her head. The wolves and runes incised around the crown are visible in a perfect arrangement. They called it the wolf crown; suited for the she-wolf.
On normal days, she didn't even bother to wear her crown. It's itchy and impractical and she'd rather not make a fool out of herself in front of other people. Nonetheless, today would be an exception among others.
When Osha finally finished, she wastes no time and pushes Arya out of the room. Silence accompany them as they go through the paths to get to a private reception hall that is said can accommodate around a hundred people.
Once they pass through the open door of the reception hall, the young Stark noticed the rich decoration first. There are carved panelling and silver hammered mirrors that reflect the glare of torches placed in brackets, gold and flowers decorating at other parts of the walls and pillars. Then, she noticed the maids that are moving about in preparations. When she looks around the hall, she can't find any other important figures beside herself. It seems that she's rather early.
Slowly, Osha pushes her further into the hall and that's when Arya notices Daenerys and Jon at the corner of the walls. They're standing close together, talking something of importance as the others walk pass by them in a hurry to finish their duty.
Arya looks away from the two, burying the soreness that invades her insides. She chooses to focus at the main table instead and surprisingly, she finds a familiar face of Missandei standing there. Deciding, Arya asks Osha to give her some privacy then and the older woman complies and leaves her to stand against the pillar, still within eyesight. She takes over her wheels and moves to Missandei who is so focused on monitoring the other maids that she didn't realize another presence joining at her side.
"Hi." Arya greets, feeling a genuine smile about to form on her face at the sight of the perfectly alive and healthy Missandei.
"Your Grace." Missandei turns, surprised. "Welcome to the Queen's private meet."
The Naathi bows slightly as if she's afraid to have offended the Queen of the North by not realising her sooner. Arya's smile fades away at the foreign display. She may have remembered the teases and laughs that they shared another lifetime ago, but to Missandei, Arya is a complete stranger whose rank is far above.
Arya swallowed the familiar bitterness. "Thank you… Did I interrupt you on something important?"
Missandei straightens. "Of course not, Your Grace… I was just making sure that the arrangements are where it should be. The other lords and ladies will be joining you in a while, I'm sure. Or would you like me to get the King and Queen?"
The young Stark naturally glances to the pair who is still oblivious to their surroundings as they seem to be wrapped in their world.
"No, that's fine." Arya dismissed and focus on Missandei again. "I'd like to stay here if you don't mind… We never really had a chance to talk privately."
There is a slight frown on Missandei's face which she quickly makes clear off. "Forgive me, Your Grace, but why would you want to talk to me? I'm just the handmaiden."
It's getting hard to control the bitterness but she did anyway and forces a smile. "I'm sure Daenerys doesn't feel the same way about that. You are among her important people in the castle."
Missandei mirrored the smile and said nothing.
"How long has it been since you're with her?" Arya inquired.
"Almost five years now."
"That's a long time." She can't help but feel envious of the fact that Missandei get to be by Daenerys side and she's not.
"How about your handmaiden." Missandei suddenly asked, looking at the Wildling who stood nearby the pillar.
Osha is staring at them openly, crossing her hands over her chest and looks about ready to march over if Arya as much as raise a finger. "You mean Osha? Osha's been around for seven years, but she's not my handmaiden."
"Oh, a Queensguard then?"
The vision of Osha wearing fancy armour made Arya chuckles. "No, we don't have any such thing as Queensguards now. There are guards guarding Winterfell and the villages to keep watch and to keep peace and that's it. We made that decision when the war is over, seeing there is no threat anymore."
"I heard that in the North, a maiden girl could walk down the Kingsroad in her name-day gown and still go unmolested... I always think that to be fictional, but I guess I was wrong." Amazement shines through brown eyes.
"Well, I don't know about that…If anyone goes outside with only their name-day gown, I'm afraid they will freeze to death before getting to their destination." Missandei laughs softly at that and Arya smiles. "But, yes Osha is not my handmaiden. She's a friend…like you."
The older woman stops and stares curiously. It takes Arya five seconds to realize what she just said. "I mean like you, to Daenerys." She amends.
For the first time that day, Missandei features soften into something that Arya once saw another lifetime ago when the older woman often teased her. It was something familiar and the shadow of bitterness inside the young Stark subsides.
"Contrary to the North, unfortunately in Kings Landing, the Queensguards are still needed. We will be recruiting new ones for the King as well." Missandei offered.
"I'm sure Ser Jorah would find the best men for them." As far as Arya remembered, the knight would never let anything or anyone jeopardize Daenerys safety, even though she was not a fan of how he stared at Daenerys at times that he thought no one was watching.
"Ser Jorah?" Missandei interrupted her thoughts. "I'm sorry, I've never heard of that name before." She genuinely looks confused.
Arya blinks. "Isn't there a knight here name Jorah Mormont?"
"There is no one by that name, Your Grace. The head of the royal guard is Ser Harden and he will be the one selecting the men alongside King Jon."
The back of her mind rattles with the new information. Arya tries to recall the events of past years and her memories during the war. She never imagined asking Jon about who Daenerys inner circle was, in thought that the same people that she encountered another time will still be by Daenerys side. After all, Missandei became proof of that. She recalled something else then. "Do you know what happens to Tyrion Lannister?"
It takes a second before the older woman answered, "I know the same as others…that he was never found."
The war took out most of the Lannisters. While Cersei poisoned her children and later herself when the dragons took over the Red Keep, Tywin and Jaime got killed in the battle. They never found the last and only heir of Casterly Rock as rumours spread that Tyrion had fled to Essos before the last war, leaving behind his family to their demise. Arya, of course, had thought that the Lannister dwarf would have found Daenerys by now, but apparently, she was wrong.
"How about the Unsullied? I hear they fought bravely in the last war. Greyworm is their Commander if I'm not mistaken."
Missandei remains neutral at the name mentioned. "Yes, he is. The Queen sends them back to their hometown where they are liberated as soldiers and free to live their life as normal people…the same happened to the Dothrakis."
"I see." Missandei doesn't seem to be affected by the Unsullied dismissal and Arya wonders if perhaps the older woman didn't have the chance to grow close to Greyworm as much as in the previous life.
It is possible since even Daenerys and herself are practically strangers now. Naturally, her eyes catch the silver-haired woman who is smiling wide at whatever Jon is talking about. Daenerys never smile as wide as that whenever they were together before.
"They look happy." Happier than when she was with me. Arya thought bitterly.
Missandei finds who Arya was looking at. "They genuinely care about each other… It is rare to find such a person for oneself, especially in this world. I think they would be a great pair to rule the six kingdoms."
The shadows in her heart increased and Arya feels hopeless and resigned. She knows what to do now. Her resolute sparks inside.
All she needs is to allow her heart to do the same.
*
The other lords and ladies finally arrived one by one and inwardly Arya had to brace herself for the upcoming small talks and in receiving greetings from them. Missandei excused herself to tend to the few maids that are still not yet finished their tasks. But, Arya didn't remain alone for long when another familiar face of Yara Greyjoy enters her line of sight.
"Queen Arya, pleasure." Yara greets, extending her arm which Arya takes.
The lady of the Iron Islands looks the same as Arya last remembered her. Dark eyes and black hair cut short. The only difference is her long coat that seems to be of a different material than she normally wears. This one appears to be more extravagant and velvety, fitted for the agenda of today's meeting.
"How's Theon?" Arya asked.
After she had taken Winterfell from the Boltons, her men found the Ironborn in one of the cages in the stable. His state was a shock to her. He could barely walk when her men took him out of the cage and his figure was worse. Flayed fingers and scarred body. Arya didn't need to know more to know that Ramsay had his fun with Theon. All the hate and revenge that she had from the past vanished seeing the broken man that can't even speak without stuttering.
Later, she had let him recovered and when he requested to fight alongside the Northern army, Arya let her. He had reunited with his sister amidst that and has now been living in the Iron Island ever since.
"He's doing better each day," Yara answered.
"That's good to hear."
"It is. He sends his regards…" Yara trails with a building smile or more of a smirk. "I must congratulate you too on the wedding. I look forward to having two Queens ruling the seven kingdoms."
"You'll be disappointed… Daenerys can take the others. One is more than enough for me."
Yara laughs even though the young Stark was pretty serious in her claim. The Ironborn still had a smile on her face when she excused herself to greet the other guests that had been filling in. And Arya lets her go willingly, happy to be left alone.
But, her peace doesn't last long when another man fills Yara's spot. "Your Grace, how are you?"
Arya looks up to find Petyr Baelish in front of her. His mouth thread into a smile yet she notices the coldness in his eyes. Even in this timeline, Littlefinger seems to do well for himself, acting as the lord protector of the Eyrie and the Vale of Arryn after her aunt Lysa sudden death. She knows he had something to do with it, though she cannot find any proof to this day.
"Good" she answered short. This is the one man that Arya doesn't need to consider to be polite with.
He doesn't seem to be bothered by her cold response. "I'm glad…" There is still a smile on his lips. "Is Lady Sansa well? I was hoping to see her today, but I hear she's at Winterfell."
There is one thing that Arya remembered well of the previous years and that is the obsession that Littlefinger seems to have with her older sister. She remembered receiving a raven from him just after the war had been won. He had offered himself loyalty to the North and even shamelessly extends a proposal to marry Sansa so that Arya can have complete control of the Vale.
The young Stark had tossed the letter into the fireplace soon after. There is no way that she will accept anything from the wicked man let alone letting Sansa marry him. That is also the reason that the Northern borders remain close to the Eyrie until now.
"Unfortunately for you Lord Baelish, your expectation is not my concern." She counters with a smile of her own.
He falters at the blatant remark or perhaps he's just annoyed. "I do hope you had a change of mind, seeing that we will be ruled under the same monarchy soon."
He doesn't think that she will have the power to make decisions anymore now that Jon and Daenerys will become the new rulers. Arya is about to give a piece of her mind when Rickon decides to interrupt and save Littlefinger.
"Arya, the meal is about to begin." The youngest Stark whispers and then addresses the other man. "If you would excuse us, Lord Baelish." Without another word, Rickon pushes her away from Littlefinger and towards the main table where the others are also beginning to find their seats.
"You could have got me a little later, Rickon." She sighs, frustrated to not speak her mind earlier.
"I'm starving... Besides, you have the entire day to talk to him." He counters and proceeds to place her at the main table beside Jon. Rickon then takes a seat beside her. At Jon's other side, Daenerys is there with two men that Arya never met before which Jon introduced them as Ser Harden, the Head of the Queensguard and Ser Barristan Selmy, the Hand of the Queen.
With an introduction speech from both Daenerys and Jon, the maids finally serve the first meal of the day. While Arya is seated at the main table, the other lords and ladies were placed into two separate tables that are faced one another making their arrangement into a 'U' shape with the monarchies at the head of it.
Small conversations fly around the table almost instantly as soon as the others start eating and Arya let the conversations pass as she concentrates on her meal instead. Jon seems to be the hot topic that everyone is interested in and her brother only looks mildly uncomfortable before he's joining the others' teasing and adding his comments on top of their remarks.
Arya had never seen Jon like this before. He looks foreign to her as he smiles and laughs softly at whatever the lords and ladies are insinuating about. But, most of all he looks comfortable enough amidst the people and for the first time since Arya is awake, she feels herself a stranger among them.
*
The breakfast went well.
Arya offered a small smile now and then each time someone mentioned her in passing or anything general about the north. But throughout, she remains passive and chooses to be a listener instead. The others don't seem to be interested in talking about serious matters regarding their land and the state of the continent, so the young Stark held her tongue and let them be.
Though, sometimes when she's minding her own business, she can feel the sensation of being watched from the side. The prickle of someone's stare intensifies whenever Arya made a response to their inquiry. She refused to acknowledge it and focus ahead instead.
When the maids finally cleared the empty plates and make clear of the remaining dishes, another dozen of maids march in, carrying nicely wrapped packaging in their hands before they put them in front of each of the lords. One servant girl did the same and places a package in front of Rickon and left without another word.
Before Arya can ask him about it, someone speaks up.
"Queen Daenerys and King Jon." Ser Imry of House Florent, the new Lord of the Reach stands up. "Once again, congratulation on your union. Before we proceed with your agenda, Your Grace, we would like to present our gifts personally to both of you."
Daenerys shares a silent look with Jon before addressing the man. "You're so kind, my lord. All of you… Of course, you may proceed to give us your valuable gifts away."
Small laughs erupted and Ser Imry becomes the first one to present his gift.
Arya looks to Rickon and whispered. "Did you know about this?"
He nods. "Lady Alarra told me about it…" He trails finding the Martell Princess across the table and caught her attention. Arya studies the two as they exchanged a smile that seems to be friendlier than it seems. Rickon turns to her again, "Don't worry, Arya… I'll present the North's gift to them." He said, letting his hand rest on top of the packaging.
It is a small one if Arya compares it to the others across the table. But, she doesn't let the thoughts worry her since Sansa is the one that had prepared Jon's wedding gift right after they received the news. Arya knows how much effort her sister had put in making the presents.
Seating back, she focuses on the other lords as they presented their gifts of diamonds, brooches and jewels. Some even give matching harps that made out of gold.
When it is finally the North's turns, Rickon stands up, walks around and stops at the front of the table. "My Queen, My King, on behalf of the North may I present to you, your gift." He bows inconsiderably slows with a playful smile which makes Daenerys and Jon chuckle.
"Thank you, Lord Rickon." Jon starts tearing the wrappers and then pulls out a long bluish-grey material.
Rickon straightens. "This is a robe for the King. Lady Sansa herself had taken no sleep to finish it before our entourage's departure to the South after we received your good news... It is made of the finest furs and leathers that can be found nowhere else but the North, embroidered with gold threads that makes up the direwolf on the back." He looks pleased with himself once he's finished and when he glances to her, Arya smiles, proud.
Though it may be a simple thing compared to the jewels and the gold harps, Arya is sure that Jon would know just how much the gift must worth. The honour of wearing the Starks symbol and with giving it to him not only will it solidified his claim of status within the North, but it will also put a message for the person that he will eventually cloak it with on the wedding day.
Judging by how Daenerys eyes catch hers soon after, Arya is sure the older woman knows that too.
"This is a magnificent robe. I'm honoured… I must thank the Lady Sansa for such brilliant needlework. " Jon said, happy.
"You can always write a letter and let her know," Rickon suggested.
"I definitely will."
Satisfied, Rickon goes back to his seat having done what he intends to do. Just as they are about ready to move on, Petyr Baelish interrupts.
"Forgive me, Your Grace, as I might be rude in saying this but the North seems to only care about the King and not the Queen…" His gaze meets squarely with grey orbs. "I only ask this because everyone in this room prepares for King Jon and Queen Daenerys equally. Does the North not regard Queen Daenerys as their queen seeing that they already have one?"
The cheery atmosphere inside the hall instantly disappears into thin air as Littlefinger speaks his mind. It is unfortunate that Arya didn't have her bow and arrow with her now. He would look good with a bunch of protruding arrows in his face.
"That wouldn't be necessary." Daenerys suddenly speaks, breaking the staring of Arya and Littlefinger. "The robe is more than enough for both of us, so I don't need any more gifts."
The dragon queen looks nothing but sincere and Arya finds herself speaking out before she can stop herself. "Actually, I prepared something for you." Daenerys looks surprised though she quickly concealed it. "Before Lord Baelish was being hysterical about the lack of gifts…" she trails glaring at the man before finding Daenerys again. "I was going to present my gift to you as well."
The others murmur among themselves but Arya didn't care about any of them. This is the time that she realized she can make things better for everyone that she cared about. As she looks into the depth of violets, she sees the person that she had spent her time with, the person that she knows. She sees her kindness, her warmth and sturdiness. But most importantly, she sees the person that she still loves despite everything.
Arya softens. "I hear that you love flowers… You have your glass garden back in Meereen and you even took care of them yourself." Not really expecting answers, the young Stark continues, "There is a rose in the North called Winter Rose. It's got pale blue petals, the colour of frost and its scent is more fragrant than normal roses. Winterfell had planted them in abundance and I would have brought them to you, but unfortunately, a month's journey is not suitable for such a thing. It will be wilted away before you can get to admire them… To truly appreciate winter roses, you will have to come to Winterfell and pay a visit yourself. Anytime and whenever you want to, you may do so… The glass garden is yours."
There was a long pause as Daenerys stays silent but Arya waits patiently. She sees how the older woman takes everything that just said and finally realizing what it means.
"Thank you." Daenerys finally said and her eyes speak a thousand more.
*
With the sun now a much softer hue of red and is starting to set over the horizon, the sky looks like it was on fire as the orange of its spread in the vast space.
Arya sat under the canopy of trees in the Godswood of the Red Keep, alone. She had left right after the meeting has ended, wanting to be left to her thoughts. As the chill wind slaps her face, she can't help but compare it with the one back home, where the wind is much colder and harsher.
The last time she was in the Godswood was the day of her coronation six years ago. She remembered clearly of what happens before she's awake in another bed, leagues away—the air still and the cold are worse than usual. And the next thing she knows, she's here to attend Jon and Daenerys wedding.
She closes her eyes, recalling again the things that happened earlier in the meeting and sighs.
The Northern lords would not be happy of what she had offered Daenerys. Perhaps they would retaliate about her giving the dragon queen control over the source of food that the glass garden can produce in dead winter where nowhere else can.
"Did Osha forget you here?" A voice interrupts her thoughts.
Arya straightens almost instantly and turns to find Daenerys walking towards her. The older woman still looks curious as she finally stops close in front of her.
"Unfortunately, no." She answered late. "I'm sure she'll be here in a while to remind me to get to bed."
Daenerys offered nothing though Arya can see the beginning of a smile forming. They shared a moment of peace as the wind blows and rattle the leaves, making some of them falling off from the branches. There's serenity in the surroundings and Arya doesn't know if it is because of the place or the person she's with.
"Do you pray often?" Daenerys breaks the silence, catching grey orbs.
Arya let the violet takes her away in remembrance of a battered young lady at the verge of dying, as she pleads for the Gods to save her family. "I did once, with all my heart."
Daenerys softens. "You don't do it anymore?"
"No… Not really."
"Why not?"
"I'm afraid that if I ask for more, the Gods would take it away again."
Nymeria, her father, mother and Robb are dead. Bran who is still missing to this day is likely dead too. But Jon, Rickon and Sansa are not. They are alive and so does Daenerys and that should be enough. She's not going to ask for anything else even though her heart begs her to.
Daenerys said nothing and walks closer towards her until she's behind and starts pushing the chair towards a destination.
"Are you bringing me to bed?" Arya tries for a joke.
Daenerys doesn't waver. "No, I'm taking you to that bench over there so I can sit comfortably as well."
The young Stark hums. "Charming."
As soon as they reached, Daenerys places her right at the side of the wooden bench and then she takes a seat at the edge so they are side by side. When Arya looks ahead, the sun is now low enough along the horizon.
"You know you didn't have to do that back then." Daenerys starts, her voice firm. Arya meets violet eyes in question. "You don't have to offer me anything… The robe that Sansa made is more than enough."
"I know." Arya replied. "But, I'm a prideful woman and losing to Littlefinger is a blasphemy."
Daenerys gives her a pointed look, clearly not amused. "How will the North react to this? I never intended to take over your place but there is a chance that they will think as such."
"I know about that too." She trails, studying the older woman as the dimming sunlight shadows over her face, creating a beautiful scene of itself. "In that regards, I will open the Northern borders as well. Of course, I have to discuss with the others but they will agree once you do the same to yours… That way, the North will have control over the six kingdoms as you do us."
Daenerys raises a brow. "So, we will be ruling the seven kingdoms together?"
"Of course not… As I've said before, the North is more than enough. You can take care of the other six." Arya offered. "But on paper, yes, we will be ruling together."
The older woman looks away in thoughts and Arya grabs the chance to shamelessly stare at Daenerys profile. She didn't waver even though Daenerys turns and find her still staring.
"I'm afraid that it will draw conflicts of interest in the future." She tried.
"Perhaps it will, but I'm not worried." At Daenerys confused expression, Arya smiles softly. "You're as much as a Stark now... You're family."
Something change on Daenerys features but it was gone the moment Arya tries to investigate. The older woman looks ahead again and Arya mirrored the action, watching the sun disappears little by little as the sky eats it up and its light ebbs away.
"You can take the Vale." Daenerys voiced.
Arya chuckles.
*
The remaining days were filled with more meetings and schedules for everyone. Arya took the chance to hold two or three after getting the ideas of what she had discussed with Daenerys and Jon in a separate meeting about their future rulings arrangement. With both of them busy for their upcoming big day, Arya offered herself to head the assemblies with the other lords.
She tried not to think about what Daenerys and Jon might have been up to while she's discussing with the important people of the six kingdoms. Focusing instead on whatever they proposed to solidified the North's connection between them. The only thing that gets her through the abundant of meetings is because of Littlefinger's submission. The man had never once said no to anything that she had suggested making everything else easier.
And when the day ends, she would retire to her room and sleep the rest of the day away. For a while, the routine helped her to forget. Until one day it breaks and she's waking up to getting ready for the ceremony.
They end up gathered in the Great Sept of Baelor. The hall buzzed with excited chatter of the people since it's an open service. She and Rickon take the place at the head of the line on Jon's side.
Jon looks uncomfortable as he shifts side to side from on top of the stairs with the Septon. There is a crown on top of his head. His velvet long coat is the colour of bluish-grey secured with a belt, and black trousers. The robe that Sansa made drapes over his arm. He caught her staring and Arya smiles, trying to lose his nerve. Jon mirrored her smile and straightens, his shoulders relax in the process.
Then, the chatters stop and at the end of the line, Daenerys enters. Beside her, Ser Barristan takes her hand and they walk together down the line.
Daenerys wears an ivory white gown made of soft, satiny fabric, long and loose. Her silver hair braided behind neatly which her crown stays beautifully on top. She looks otherworldly but the most striking part of it all is her smile. It is as if she had taken every part of the sun's light and made it shines through her face.
Arya can't help but feel overwhelmed by it. There are no thoughts or worries inside her head as she witnesses the person that she cared most about being happy. Because that's what Daenerys deserves and Arya will remember the older woman this way for the rest of her life.
That thought is what made the young Stark endures the rest of the ceremony. As Jon cloaked Daenerys with the Stark's robe and he leans in for a kiss to seal their marriage, the audiences cheer and whooped. Arya concentrates on the joyful faces of Jon and Daenerys and at the way their whole body vibrates with contentment.
And she can't find anything wrong with that.
*
There's no reason for her to stay any longer and Arya had voiced it out as soon as she can the next day. Jon tried to persuade her to stay, but she politely declined, coming up with excuses that he cannot argue with.
"I'm going to miss you terribly," Jon said, hugging her tightly as her entourage is ready for departure in the courtyard. Arya mirrors the action.
"Take care of yourself." She whispered.
When they finally parted, he has a sad smile on his face. "You too… Don't try anything reckless."
"Don't worry, I won't let her out of my sight." Rickon suddenly interrupts from the side. Jon chuckles and moves to hug the younger boy next.
When Carrot is all set, Jon carries her and helps to put the straps in for the last time. Arya tries not to look at the side where she knows Daenerys is watching the whole exchange.
Once everyone else is prepared for the long journey, Arya looks to Jon, bidding him goodbye. She finds violet orbs last and let her eyes wander for a moment, knowing that she would not have the luxury to do so again. "Goodbye, Daenerys." She finally said.
Daenerys offers a small smile in return and Arya takes that as her sign to go. She doesn't look back when Carrot trots pass the gate and away from the Red Keep.
*
The journey back proves to be useful for her to forget who she had left behind. When she's not conversing to Rickon and Osha, she would find some servants and knights from the entourage. They always had games to play during the road and stories to tell by the fire.
Arya listened to it all, participate in it and let them fill the void inside her. She's completely confident that the vacant space will disappear eventually. The young Stark is not in a rush for it to be so since she has a whole month to remedy whatever it is she's feeling.
Days turn to weeks and by the last weeks of their journey, she feels her body suddenly drained. She feels something inside her leaking, little by little. She stops acknowledging Rickon when he asked her something of importance. In fact, she doesn't respond to anyone anymore. It's not like she didn't hear them, she hears but her body felt weak and her mind felt worse. She never felt this tired before. She just wanted to close her eyes and sleep for maybe a year or two.
It was like an out of body experience as she watched everyone panicked. They had placed her at the back of one of the wagon, not trusting her to be able to control Carrot. Osha and Rickon take turns to watch over her. But, there's really nothing to watch, Arya thought. She eats and then she sleeps. And the next day, the same thing happens.
She didn't know how long time has passed but when she recognized the walls of Winterfell, her head peeks out. Seconds later, Osha is already carrying her out of the wagon and placing her onto her usual wooden chair. And standing close to it is her older sister.
Sansa smiles and leans forward, hugging her. "Welcome home."
As Arya is being engulfed around her sister's arms, instinctively she reaches out to tighten the embrace and buries her face against Sansa's arm.
She doesn't let go for a long time.
*
"I'm going to Winter Town."
"What do you mean you're going to Winter Town?" Osha asked, scandalous.
"Thank you, Lars," Arya said to the stable boy that had offered his help as he secured the last bindings on her feet. He offered a smile and walks away, continuing to do the task that he left off.
"You have meetings to attend in an hour." The wildling continued from on the ground.
Arya, of course, had requested a meeting after she had come home and retold the lords and ladies about their future rulings assortment. They had little to say back then and she thought that it had been settled with, but now a week later, they wanted to discuss it again. Usually, they would hold one every month but this has become the second and unfortunately, she has reached her limit.
Grey orbs find the black ones then. "Sansa will be there and she knows what to say." And it's better for their sake anyway. When Osha provides nothing, Arya signals Carrot to start moving.
"Why are you even going to Winter Town for?" Osha asked, walking by the horse side now.
"To buy things."
"What things?"
She gives the older woman a pointed look. "I guess I'll know when I bought them." She didn't wait for Osha's response and whistled.
Carrot wastes no time and gains speed at her instruction. They are out of the gate before anyone can stop them and Arya focuses nothing but on the fierce wind slapping her face and the road ahead.
When she finally reaches the entrance of Winter Town, Carrot slows down to a trot. Some people are milling about outside the road and when they notice her, they stop for a greeting. She smiles and managed a nod at their bows and callings.
Moving on, the young Stark finds her first stop where Carrot halts in front of an old tavern. "Hello, Kirk." She greets an equally old man that is tending to the front of his property.
He turns, surprised. "Your Grace, good morning."
"Can I have the usual, please?" Smiling.
"Of course, let me get it for you." He left whatever he's been doing and runs inside. Minutes later, he emerges with two large flasks in his hands. "Here you go… This one is a special brew that I invented. It's made up of roasted barley and a bit of spice. It should quench your mean thirst."
"That sounds delicious. How much is it?"
He moves to slide the bottles inside the empty bag that Carrot carries. "Oh, that's fine. This one is on me… If you like the taste, then you can purchase the next one."
"Alright, I'll let you know." Arya paid him her usual and moves on.
She stops by a few of the other establishments, getting food and other things. When her bags are full and she's ready to go back, the sound of metal clashing and hissing caught her ears. Carrot moves with her discretion and she finds herself stopping in front of the smiths.
It was an unusual sight since the shop usually stays closed most of the time due to the lack of need for weaponry after the war. And if anyone wanted to, Winterfell will always provide it.
"What are you working on?" She calls out.
Myke, the blacksmith stops whatever he's doing and finally noticed her. "Nothing, Your Grace…" he bows slightly in respect. "I'm just filling my time." He said sheepishly.
There are already two sets of quivers filled with arrows hanging by the side of the pillars. "Can I see that?" she asked.
The young man complied and brings a set to her. Arya takes one out from the batch and examines it. The shaft is strong and light and the arrowhead is broad steel tip. It's beautiful craftsmanship.
"Are you selling this?"
"Oh, I've never intended to sell it…" he trails, before finally deciding. "But, if you want, you can have them."
"You should consider selling it. I'm sure you'll make good money." She encouraged which he only smiles. "I'm afraid I don't have enough coins with me right now, but, I'll send someone to bring it to you by today."
"Thank you, Your Grace."
She takes the quiver and bids him goodbye. With a whistle, Carrot speeds up and she treads lightly on the paths back home, not eager to end the ride. But, when they finally arrive at Winterfell, Osha is already there at the courtyard, waiting.
"Seven hells… Don't you have better things to do?" Arya calls exasperated, stopping Carrot just barely before they collided and the older woman gets trampled.
"Sansa is going to kill you," Osha said, unbothered. She moves to the horse side and starts taking out the many things that Arya had purchased.
The young Stark suddenly feels restless. "I bought her honey cakes."
"I don't think honey cakes can save you this time, little lady."
The other servants come towards them at Osha's calling and she hands them the many things to be put away.
Arya stops one of the servant girls. "Can you take the carrots to Rickon and the honey cakes to Sansa? And send Lucas to Winter Town to pay Myke the blacksmith 300 silver stags for the quiver of arrows I bought from him."
"Of course, Your Grace." The servant girl then turns and walks away to do her bidding.
The young Stark focuses on Osha again. "So, the meeting went well then?"
"They're still at it." The older woman provides and starts to unbind the straps which Arya quickly stops her from it.
"I just bought a quiver of arrows, Osha… I want to practice with it."
"Did I mention how much Sansa wants to murder you?"
"My sudden arrival into the meeting now will only lengthen it, I'm sure… They must have reached an agreement by now. I don't want to ruin that." Seeing that Osha has nothing to offer than scrutinizing her, Arya pulls the reins. "I'll see you at the Wolfswood."
*
When Arya said the Wolfswood, she meant the edge of the forest. It has become her usual place to train her archery with Carrot. She needed the straight path so she can shoot the targets while she's riding. There are fixed targets along on both sides of the road which she sometimes asked for them to change in place.
Osha came not long after, bringing the usual bow and another two quivers filled to the brim. Arya feels the lift at the corner of her mouth at the sight. Without a second to waste, they fall into another routine.
It was a serenity that Arya had accustomed to, that she had familiarized. She basked in the strong sway of her horse and the muscle strained on both her arms and her back. And at the swish of the released arrow and the thud when it finds her unmoving victim.
Arya constantly loses time whenever she did this. The sweat on her brows and the sore arms are the only things that remind her that she might have been at this for a while now. But, she is far from finishing.
"I want to try something new." She said, stopping to get a breath.
Osha begins to pick the arrows embedded on one of the targets, nearest to her. "Of course, Your Grace… Tomorrow is another great day to practice your archery. Carrot seems fairly tired as well."
"Carrot's not tired." Arya rubs his neck and his only response is a soft nicker.
Osha sighs and turns to face her. "It's way past your lunch." She tried.
"I'm not hungry."
The Wildling's running out of ideas. "Well, I am."
Arya looks the older woman up and down. "You could use a skip or two."
"I like you better when you had a meltdown."
She ignores the comment and said. "I want to catch moving arrows with my bare hands."
Osha stops and stare. But all she can see is the resolute look on the younger girl's face. "Are you insane?"
"No… You can shoot and I'll try to catch it. I trust your aim." She can see Osha's faltering. "Come now, I know how much you want to shoot me in the face."
"I don't know what you're talking about." The Wildling dismissed.
Arya brightens. "You can start aiming at the top of my head… If I know where it'll go, it'll help me to be more prepared."
"I hope you're not serious about that." A disembodied voice suddenly echoes.
Both of them turn to the voice and surprisingly find Daenerys and Sansa walking towards them. Arya on her part has suddenly forgotten how to breathe as her eyes caught the familiar violet ones. All the emotion that she stored away has now come rushing back and making her lose all function.
"I know you have a reputation in archery…" Daenerys stops when she's finally close enough. "But that sounds dangerous."
The young Stark swallowed a lump that begins to form. She ignores everything else but the fact that Daenerys is here in Winterfell. When she is sure that the older woman is not one of her many imagination, she finally finds her voice. "What are you doing here?"
Daenerys smiles. "I'm here to see my beautiful winter rose."