Snippet 72

Yuki of Team YUKI Reacts to Shipping

Genre: Varies (Starts off with a bit of angst)

Pairs: Plenty

Parody: RWBY

AU-Type: Meta

Tags: Yuki reacts to fanships, metahumor, jabs at shipping

So, let me get this straight, Chronoa? You blipped me out of time to react to people's ships concerning me?! Are you serious? Fine, I'll do it, but I want favors for this.

Neopolitian: Ice Cream Sandwich, Silver Sundae, Shifted Shades, Muted Dragon, Systema Skilled, Sickening Sweethearts, Murderers in the Mirror

This is the most popular ship? Ok, the names for this one are kind pretty clever, and I could Neo and me being a thing. But…yeah, her not speaking would be a bit of an issue in the long term. Or maybe not.

Both the Malachite Twins: Raising Twin Dragons, Junior's Worst Nightmare, The Student has Screwed the Teachers

[Yuki is laughing at the ship names before he wipes a tear.] Second most popular? They're like sisters to me. Although, having twins fawn and fret over would be kind of nice.

Ruby Rose: 2 and a Half Silver, Greying Silver, Plucking the Rose

[Yuki sighs] She's too innocent. Maybe V4 Ruby…if she stops making speeches.

Yang Xiao Long: Azure Dragon, Silver Barrel Shotgun, Raven's Worst Nightmare, Double Dragon

She's a bombshell. Maybe after she mellows out and deals with her mommy issues. From what Chronoa tells me, I have a son with her in another timeline. Third most popular ship actually.

Sienna Khan: Wasted Potential, Tiger and Dragon, Azure Stripes, White Dead Redemption, More Bite then Bark

The White Fang high leader? Ok, I would consider it if I got to send a tape of me and her to Adam. That would be rich. She is attractive in that exotic way. What can I say? I like dangerous women. Wait, she's tied with Yang?!

Blake Belladonna: Sliver Shadow, Redemption, Shadowy Blue, Hypocritical, Ninjas of Love: After Dark

I don't think I want Adam's leftovers. Ilia's already scrapping for them. Blake's nice and all, but she's a bit too much of a flake for my taste. Too bad her mom's taken. 5th Place is interesting for her though.

Velvet Scarlatina: Blue Bunny, They Got Legs, Cardin's Downfall, Copy Masters, Hard Light, Mellow Brown

Apparently, her semblance has been confirmed to be Photographic Memory. Neat. She is quite the catch, and we get along well. I'm go for it.

Amber: Flipping off Cinder, Cinder's Fail, Amber Fang, Aerodactayl

Cinder's Fail? Okay, I would do it just for the name. Amber's pretty lit…although considering she's been living in my cyberverse with Serena, we're a bit too close at the hip. Wait, she and Velvet are tied with another? Well damn.

Ivory Viridian: Lust Dragon, Vivid Viridian, Single Woman Seeks Good Azure, Birth Control

[Yuki has his face in his hands] If this happens, I'd never get sleep. Ivory's gorgeous, but she's well…a walking firestorm. Still though, surprised she's the highest out of my team be placed with me. A sweetheart she is, but a real spitfire. [Chronoa had Ivory hear this and Yuki is tackled and pelted with affectionate kisses.] Damn it, Chronoa!

Pyrrha Nikos: Jaune Took Too Long, Gods of War, Sword and Shield, Ivory's Least Favorite Ship

A chance to bag a redhead and teach Jaune a lesson…sign me up. [Ivory glares at him.]

Glynda Goodwitch: Professor Azure, Ganguro Duo, Might and Magic, Graduation, Grade Skipping, Matters of the Mind

Honestly, no. She's attractive, but I have a bit of anger against her for letting Ozpin do me dirty. One night stand with her? Yes. Long term relationship. Doubt it unless she dumps Ozpin. Until then, nope.

Raven Branwen: Birds of Black and Blue Feathers, Sliver Lantern, Blades of Ice and Darkness, Silver Spring, For the Damaged Coda, Bandit Brawling

Pfft…ha! I'd do it, but only to piss off Qrow. Raven's got the same issues as Blake though. Shame because Yang got her good looks from her. If I did end up in something up, totally would whip her into being a parent. Fuck flaker parents.

Winter Schnee: Lukewarm Snow, Dishonorable Discharge, Global Warming, Cold Snap, Never Let it Go

Yeah, I don't really do military. I'm a bit roguish for her. Although, maybe if she let her hair down and get the icicle out of her behind, I'll give it a shot.

Lapis Kristal: Water Dragon, Gyrados, Kingdras, Azure Kristal, Blood in the Waters, Dragon Tsunami

[Yuki was blushing a bit] So, she tied with Pyrrha, Glynda, Raven, and Winter. Lapis and I are close friends, hell she's practically a sibling. Us being a thing…wouldn't exactly be a bad thing, but we are a bit glued to the hip. If it would help Lapis to regain the humanity taken away, I'd go it in a heartbeat. [Lapis hugged him from behind.]

Penny Polendina: Cyborgs, Computer Crash, Azure Antivirus, The Terminators, Dating Sim, Techno and Dubstep

[Serena approves.] I'd do that just to piss off all of Altas. Penny is adorable…a bit of a similar shade of Ruby. However, unlike Ruby, I don't think I'll feel too guilty for dealing with Penny being innocent. Heh…those freckles.

Salem: Ozpin's Screwed, Love Born of Rage, Deadly Seduction, Grimm Ghoul, Sinful Sonata, Grimm Dragon

Two ways this would happen. One, drunk marriage. Two, I do it to screw over Ozpin. She's fine…but I'd be sticking my dick in crazy. Her fat ass isn't worth it….almost. Her human form is a bit on the bland side, though.

Cinder Fall: Dragon's Wrath, Flames of Red and Blue, Calamity, Dante's Inferno, Passion Explosion, Pyrrha's Nightmare, A Better Love Story than Twilight

Emerald, I prefer Emerald over her. Cinder's a bit too much on the slim side plus she literally only has one tone…pillow talk mode. Really sounds like a Saturday Morning cartoon villain trying to do adult film. I would only consider if I'm also shipped with Emerald…and Cinder's on the bottom.

Emerald Sustrai: Jaded Bastards, Cinder's Screwed, Orphans in Suffering, The Jade Dragon, Stolen Innocence

Tied with Cinder and right under her, the irony. Emerald's an interesting gal. I wish she was explored more. She's quite the exotic looking gal with cute minty hair.

Bonquisha (Camp Camp): Black and the Bold, All Brawn and One Brain, Conquered

Who? (Yuki is given a picture with a notecard) Oh. I will pass. Ivory suits best for a buff gal.

Weiss Schnee: Silvery Ice, Jaccques Will Never Approve, Icy Sword Swingers

Second to bottom tier in the poll. Wow, that's a shame. Weiss, when she's not stuck up with an icicle up her ass, is pretty fun to be around. We actually so spar with our swords once in a while. She's a bit of a better opponent than Blake in form, but I and the gang are working on her stamina. Yeah, I don't think she could keep up. Weiss is a bit waifish, but considering her sister and mom, she'll grow to be a fine warrior. Plus, anything to piss off Jaccques…and to force Jaune into actually noticing Pyrrha.

Nora Valkyrie: Forces of Nature, Hammer Tech, Liquid Silver, A Parentless Pair

Ok, Nora has appeal for me. She's a ball of energy, and I could be used to keeping up with her. Plus, she's cute as a button. Personally, Ren lets her get away with too much. I could be a good anchor.

Coco Adel: Hot Coffee Mod, Trendsetters, Fashionable Mofos, Rule of Cool, Sharp Brown

Wait, isn't she a le…What? Only in the books? Isn't that canon? What do you mean, "who cares?!" Oh fine, I'll give my opinion. She's a model and I wouldn't be not open to dating her. A woman who can whip out a Gatling gun has to be packing some strength. Her semblance? She has...WHAT YOU MEAN SHE CAN ENHANCE DUST?!

Ciel Soleil: YUKI TIME!, Alternate Timeline, Non Canon Chaos, Light Blue

Meh…she's a fine woman, but not my type. Maybe in a sandwich with Penny.

May Zedong: Graying Left Eyes, Desert Dragon

…..I barely know who she is. I guess I'll smash.

Octavia Ember: Flamethrower, Dragon Breath, A Sword of Fire and Ice

Same opinion as the last.

Lisa Lavender: Social Media

Damn it, we'll do her live, Ivory! We'll do it live!

Kelly Usagi: Blue-Green Berserkers, Animal Farm, Dragon's Pet Bunny, Twin Sword Slash

Well…her being bottom tier makes sense given her past. I don't even really see us being a thing unless she gets over her trauma or maybe Whitley dies. She's adorable when she gushes about things. [Kelly watches from afar blushing.]

Gwen (Camp Camp) : Cynics in Black, There's No Refusin'

Who's that? She's from the same world as Bonquisha. (Yuki is given a photo) She's pretty cute and easy on the eyes. So, she's a camp counselor stressed on the job…I can relate on being the only sane man.

Miltiades Malachite: Melee, The Night Begins to Shine, Kickboxing Duo, Purple Dragon, Bloody Heels

Honestly, it's both or none for me.

Resse Cholris: Skull Bash, Punk Rock, Parry Pair, Blue-Green Brawls, Growth of the Dragon, Kickin' Flips, Azure Ardent

I'd go to a metal concert with her.

Nebula Violette: Crash Nebula, Space Warriors, Astronomical-sized Dragon

Bleh ship names.

Dew Gayl: Gayl Dragon, Aerial Ace, Gray Spear

Ship names kind of sucks.

Ilia Amitola: Closet Key, Exception, Kame Hame Khamelon, Crossing Colors, Path with Parents

Yeah, no. And it's not even because she's gay or for her Blake. She just doesn't do it for me. Total boner killer.

Vernal: Meat Shield, Saving Sacrifices, Faking Spring, Bandit Melee

I'd do alone just for pissing off Raven.

Candy (Camp Camp): Dragon Digger, Dante's Vice

So, from that other worl…wait, this is someone's mom. She's a MILF and all, but I have this feeling of scummy I'm getting off her. Not Raven-level scummy, though.

Melanie Malachite: Brawl, Kickoff the Night, Judo Flip, Purple Passion, Blue and White all over

Both or none. A shame nobody voted her though.

Arslan Altan: Knife Nuts, Dagger Duo, Pair the Black Spades, Tokens, Blue and Gold, Future Black Leaders of Remnants, Oriental

…

Gwen Darcy: It's Raining Knifes, Ebony Blade

…..

Neon Katt: Club Dragon, Dreamwave, Dragon Tail, Taunting Terrors

Yes, I'd go clubbing with her.

Puce Blanco: Blanc Blue, Karma Chameleon, Leon's Watching This From Hell

One night stand just to piss on Leon's grave. Fuck that douchehole for offing moms.

Professor Peach: Peach's Dragon, For SCIENCE!

Yes, she's beautiful and I did say I'd rather go for her than Glynda. Her semblance and mine literally go like chocolate and peanut butter. Plus, she's fun to be around and work with. A total babe. Wait…what do you mean she used to FUCK my father?! They were friends with benefits?!

Kali Belladonna: Ninjas of Love: Cat MILF Edition, Persian, Old Nightshade, When Ghira's Away

The superior Belladonna. If Ghira's dead or they divorced, I will give Kali a shot. I will not make him for that booty.

An Ren: Hidden Lotus, Ren's Hated Ship, Cucked Li from Beyond, Virtue of Kindness

I already pissed off Ren by considering Nora, so no.

Summer Rose: Aged 2 and a Half Silver, Classic Silver, Plucking the Picked Rose

Yeah…maybe.

-o-

So that's it? I'm done. Oh right, Shampoo? I'd actually do it if her grandmother wasn't a scheming but honorable weasel. Poly ships? Man, that will take forever. Here's the short version. If I had to have a harem of at a team's worth…it would be Neo and both of the Twins. As for the fourth….heck if I know.

(A/N: Part 1 of 4. Next up, it's Usagi's turn. As for Yuki's reactions, they were fun to do. If anyone got suggestions for poly ship names and combos, let me know in the reviews. See y'all next time!)