Snippet 79
Plenty of Ways to Die – Attack of the Arts
Genre: Humor/Drama
Pairs: minor Knightfall (Jaune/Cinder)
Parody: RWBY/1000 Ways to Die (#193 – Art Attack)
AU-Type: Modern AU
Tags: No Aura, Karmic Death, Narrator Voice: Ozpin, Italicized Text is the Narrator, Slight NSFW, No Faunus in this universe (Everyone's Human)
Note: Each of these are in its own universe unless stated they carry over.
Location: New Vale, Vale
Date: June 2006
Plenty of ways to get women into bed have developed over the years. The best and oldest, you ask?
In a lone art studio, Neptune was drawing on a canvas with a beautiful woman posing on a fancy couch.
"My lady, you are so beautiful." Neptune said beguiling her as he "drew". "Your skin tone shines in the light."
This Neptune said it with an accent…because everything is sexier in French. With it, it was how he "charmed" Blake Belladonna into coming home with him.
"If it is not a problem, could you disrobe? I'd like to zee more skin to get a feel for ze curves on your lascivious frame." Neptune said as Blake was more than happy to comply.
Blake peeled off the dress to reveal black kitty lingerie, and soon that would come off as well within time.
Pretend you're an artist. Meet "Monsieur" Neptune Vasilias. I say that in quotes because this accent is as phony as his artistic talent.
The picture he was drawing was rather crude and poorly drawn. Lines squiggly and all the wrongs shades of colors making for a rather unflattering picture
Go on online to DeviantArt, FurAffinity, freaking Pixiv…and you'll find art better than this Tumblr reject. A 3-year-old could outdo him.
A few moments later, Blake was slammed naked against the window, with an equally naked Neptune pinning her to the wall having succeed in getting in her panties. Her moans grew louder bordering on screams with each thrust before they moved to the bed nearby to continue.
Sadly, this poser got laid more than a porn star.
After a round, a disappointed Blake comes up from under the covers. Neptune got out now in his boxers, satisfied, and lighting a cigar.
"That's it?" Blake said annoyed.
"Yeah. The door's on your right." Neptune said coldly.
He thought he could sweet talk any woman into bed. So far, he seemed unstoppable. That was until he got to Cinder Fall…no wait, Cinder Arc. She and her husband were actual artists with passion and drive unlike this this phony.
"Can you feel the energy off this work of art, non?" Neptune said having her arm around her waist sinking ever so lower.
He was showing her a "statue" that he made, but, in reality, was something he hauled out of the junkyard. Before he could get a handful of her rear, she stomped down on his foot forcing him away.
"Clearly, you're more interested in getting in my pants than making art. Humph, these paintings and pieces have as much effort as your shitty seduction. You'll be hearing from my husband and my lawyers for sexual harassment." Cinder said decking him in his jaw before leaving.
Neptune could not handle rejection.
"Cette putain de chatte pense qu'elle peut m'insulter! Le grand Neptune!" Neptune spat.
In the rage he had, he attacked the worthless piece he called, "art".
"You were supposed to get me laid!" Neptune said punching his junkyard piece.
BOOM! THUMP!
Turns out the piece of junk was a butterfly bomb still capable of detonating.
Neptune's arm was blown off his body having smacked against the door before tumbling to the ground. His body hit the ground as Neptune's face was brunt and riddled with metal shards. Cinder had returned with her husband soon after, only to find a dead body.
Neptune was the kind who wanted to end every night with a bang. This time, he met the explosive kind.
(A/N: No aftermath for this one as this one was a bit more self-contained than the first one. I'll be trying to at least use characters at least once or twice. In order to keep it varied. Now, I've settled on doing five of these, so three more to go (along with their aftermaths if they get it).) Don't forget to review Snippet 76, if you want RWBY Unlimited: Path of Shadows to be come to light, I just need 3 more reviews or PMs for it.)