Snippet 84

Insanity and Glee – Three Tales

Genre: Humor

Pairs: Vary within each of the shorts

Parody: RWBY/Cyanide and Happiness

AU-Type: Chibi AU

Tags: Dark Humor

[#1 Totally Forgot About That]

The scene opened within the home of the Azure family as Yuki came downstairs to in his pajamas to see a mug of coffee.

"Shit, I totally forgot about the coffee." Yuki said with a groan. "Might as well see if I got any mugs?"

Serena pinged into existence and opened the dishwasher to see that there were no clean mugs. Yuki wondered if he was forgetting something else.

"I believe you're forgetting the wedding." Serena reminded.

"Shit! I'm going to be late if we don't hurry!" Yuki said running to get changed into a suit.

Making a portal, he and Serena left home for the wedding. A few minutes, the bride would have blood splattered all over her face as she screamed in absolute shock. The groom had gotten a hole through his head and fell to the ground. The goers of the wedding all looked horrified, but the bride's parents were stoic but smirking on the inside. From a cliff, the smoking sniper rifle stood as the shooter dusted off his hands.

"Well, Adam's dead, but I can't help but feel I missed something. Oh shit, I was supposed to get rid of Ilia's body." Yuki said looking over at the dead faunus next to her.

She had her throat slashed and her body mangled, but Yuki lazily kicked her off the cliff. Yuki would return home only to get chewed out by his wife that he forgot about getting the milk.

[Short #2 – Farmer Taiyang]

Taiyang woke up ready to face the day on his dairy farm and come out of his farmhouse shirtless wearing just his overalls and boots. He got his himself steeled for a long day as his assistant, Summer, was at his side. Raven lazily came out with a bottle a whiskey in one hand not intending to do any work at all. With buckets in hand, the cows were getting milked except the ones under Raven's care. Too busy having her morning whiskey. Then came the feeding. Raven? Having her afternoon brandy. Late into the evening, Taiyang and Summer was exhausted from all those chores and filling up the tanker truck to sell the m Raven had at least carried them both into bed, but Taiyang's hands were sore.

"Damn it." He said sobbing that he could not use his new location, Rosie Palms. He was sobbing for his poor sore hands, and Raven decided to do something about it. Come the next day, she got him a milking machine instead of buying her brandy.

"Ah Rae…thanks." Taiyang said with a warm smile on his face pecking Raven on the cheek.

Summer could not help but beam, but then Taiyang's face went from happy to devious as he rushed inside. Loud moaning and groaning came from out of his room, and Raven and Summer came up to the window to see Taiyang….was putting that machine to "use" and having the time of his life. Jaws hung wide. The cows were mortified at what they were seeing what Taiyang was doing.

"How the hell is he producing that much?!" Summer thought.

"How did he hide that in his overalls?!" Raven thought drooling.

The cows backed up from this sickening, to them, display. Taiyang had milked out so much that he was able to fill that same tanker truck to sell his sperm come the next day. The money he made that day ensured that he never had to milk his own cows. Taiyang was counting the money enjoying the breeze as he was only wearing his boots.

"Raven, I think I need to thank you personally." Taiyang said suggestively smacking Raven behind. "Summer, I'll need you as well."

Four years later, Qrow would arrive after a stint in voice acting to a bigger farm, two new nieces, Summer playing with them, and Raven no longer drinking booze. She had a new addiction…Taiyang's sperm. He did not to see her wanting her daily fix of it. And that's how Qrow became an alcoholic.

[Short #3 – Don't Do It]

The citizens of Vale went about their day only for a woman to scream out in a terror. There was someone on the edge of the building about to jump.

"Wait, don't do it!" Sun screamed out.

There was a jump as everyone screamed as Weiss flew up revealing in her new jetpack smugly crossing her arms.

"Relax, I'm unharmed!" Weiss said confidently.

"You asshole, you could have caught that my friend!" Sun said pointing the bleeding body that hit the ground with blood soaking his already red hair.

Weiss looked down at him only to shrug.

"Should had have a jeetttppacccckkkk!" Weiss sang flying away with the flames of her jetpacks lighting Scarlet on fire.

Everyone watched her go as Sun cried over Scarlet's burning body.

(A/N: Don't worry, Raven sticks around in this one to be a parent. Either way, RWBY Unlimited: Path of Shadows was released on the 19th of August. Go check it out! Next up, we return to Cinder.)