A/N- Hey guys! I've had a heck of a time with this chapter, mostly just trying to find some quiet alone time to write in, where I didn't already have a billion other things to do. Three kids guys... Kids is hard.

I'd like to thank LizzieTurbo for putting up with my constant Facebook messaging. And finally, I wanna thank God, because God gave me this Dundie and I feel God in this Chili's tonight.

Please enjoy, and review!

"What the hell are you doing?" Remy said with a disgusted sneer, looking around the kitchen with contempt. Kitty stood at the counter, hunched over a cupcake with an icing bag in hand and three dozen freshly baked cupcakes cooling on the counter off to her right. The stove top was a mess of raw batter and icing, and there was a mixture of flower and powdered sugar scattered all over the floor.

"Baking. Duh." Kitty said, looking up at Remy momentarily before going back to her meticulous decorating.

Remy blinked at her and knit his brow, "Why?!"

"Cupcakes are super trendy right now, you know? And there aren't any cupcake stores in the area, unless you go all the way into the city, so I figured, why not?"

Remy knit his brow at the cupcake she had been painstakingly working on, "Can you even bake?"

"Well sure. You just follow the directions on the box." She shrugged, piping a pink daisy ontop of the white buttercream icing.

"You used box cake mix."

"Yes. What are you, Cake Boss?" Kitty rolled her eyes and put her fists on her hips irritably, "I'm not selling these. I wanted to practice decorating."

Pyro came to a stop next to Remy and grinned excitedly at the small plate of decorated cupcakes, "Yum!" He grinned, before helping himself to one without even bothering to take the wrapper off.

Kitty blinked at him open mouthed, watching as he chewed with a nod of approval, "Tastes good!" He announced through a mouthful of cake, furrowing his brow at the dumbfounded expression on her face, "What?"

"That- that took me twenty minutes to decorate." She blinked, looking at the half missing cupcake in his hand, "You didn't even look at it."

"Sure I did." He shrugged, "It had... stuff on the top."

Remy snorted, "It took you twenty minutes to decorate one cupcake? What are you planning on selling them for, $10 each?"

Kitty's shoulders slumped and she stuck out her lower lip as she sighed, "Crap."

"We need your help." Remy stated, watching as Kitty set about tidying the mess in the kitchen.

"With what?" Kitty turned a wary eye to Remy just as Piotr immerged from the hallway.

"They do not think I am capable of dressing myself." He stated, re-buttoning the cuffs of his slate gray button down shirt as he spoke, "You have convinced them that I need you to pick my clothes out."

Kitty's eyebrows perked up as she let her eyes drag over his body, "Wow..." She looked up at him and furrowed her brow, "You did this? I'm impressed, Pete."

"I am a fast learner." He shrugged modestly.

Kitty dropped the dishtowel into the sink and moved over to him, turning her attention to Remy, "What are you guys doing? Is this phase three? Are you doing phase three?" She asked quickly brushing her hands off on her pants before unbuttoning the cuff of Piotr's sleeves and pushing it up his arm, "Can I help with phase three?!"

"You are helping. This is helping." Remy looked down at Piotr's sleeves and frowned, "Wait, what are you doing?"

"It looks more casual like this." Kitty informed him, moving to Piotr's other arm, "What is phase three?"

"We're going out to get Pete some tail." Pyro broke out in a grin.

Kitty nodded as she undid the top button of Piotr's shirt, "Tail. You guys are pigs."

"And that's why you don't get to come with us." Remy said, pulling his trench coat out of the front closet and dropping it over his arm.

"Awww, come on, I wanna be a pig! I can be a pig!" Kitty pouted, "Check out the ass on that...chick. She's got... you know... big boobs. See? I can do it!"

"That was horrible." Pyro shook his head.

"It would not hurt anything if she came along." Piotr turned to Remy as he re-did the top button of his shirt.

Remy heaved a dramatic sigh and rolled his eyes, "Fine."

Kitty clapped gleefully.

"But you've got five minutes to get ready. Hear me? Five." He called out after her as she scurried down the hall, "I'm timing you!"

After her five minutes were up, Remy gave up timing her and set about cleaning the kitchen as he grumbled to himself.

Eventually the group of four left the apartment, arriving at the local bar a short time later with Kitty excitedly leading the pack.

Her eyes scanned the bustling bar, with a grin, "It's been forever since I've been to a bar." She turned to Pete with a smile, reaching up to undo the top button of his shirt. "I never go to bars. I mean not literally, since, you know, if it's been forever, then that would imply that I've been to one-"

"Do you have a point?" Remy clipped, cutting Kitty off quickly.

She paused, looking back at Remy over her shoulder with a blink, "...No."

"Good. Shut up." He said, looking past her to scan the bar for himself, "And for chrissake, get your hands off Pete. He's here to pick women up, he can't do that with you hanging off of him."

She pulled her hands away from Piotr and frowned, "You don't have to be a-"

Pyro swept past her, leading Piotr out into the centre of the bar and leaving Remy and Kitty behind at the entrance. Remy took Kitty by the elbow and led her to a booth off to the side, flopping down without a word.

"What- I'm confused, what are we doing? Aren't we supposed to be looking for chicks?" Kitty frowned at Remy as he leaned back in the booth, "Aren't we supposed to be wingmen?"

"Pyro's the wingman. We're more... you know, scouts." The corner of Remy's mouth quirked up, "I'm too distracting to be a wingman, petite. The ladies are all over me."

Kitty rolled her eyes, stuffing herself into the booth next to Remy, "So you guys are just going to rely on Pyro? Seriously?"

"Come on, it ain't like Pete's a gargoyle or anything. He'll be fine." Remy rolled his eyes, "All Pyro's gotta do is help Pete relax a little and talk him up. Even Pyro can't screw that up."

Kitty raised an eyebrow, giving Remy a pointed look, to which he reluctantly sighed, "Yeah, alright, he can screw it up. But he probably won't."

Her eyes turned back to Pyro with a skeptical frown, "I'm questioning his taste." She gestured towards the two at the bar, her frown growing at the sight of some fake redhead who tittering loudly at something Pyro had said. "Look at that chick, she looks like Ginger Spice. And I'm talkin' Union Jack micro mini dress, mid 90's Ginger Spice, not Spice Girls reunion Ginger."

Remy glanced at the woman in question before shaking his head, "So?"

"So?! Pete can do way better than gross Ginger Spice! Pyro should be jumping on that grenade."

"Listen," Remy began, stretching his arm out along the back of the booth behind her, "It ain't about how good Pete can do. It's about getting his mind off his stupid wench of an ex. Ginger Spice is hot enough, but not too hot, you know? Pete's kind of... shy. This kinda place isn't his scene, he's out of his element. You don't want to set the bar too high for the poor guy, he'd end up turning into some kind of Kitt-iot. Piotr-iot." Remy pressed his lips into a smile and shook his head, "No, see, it only really works for you..."

"You're hilarious." Kitty muttered with an eye roll.

Remy looked past her to a short blonde woman at the in the far corner of the bar, giggling away with a group of her friends. "She ain't bad... alright rack, nice ass, maybe a little too short..."

"She's like 14." Kitty frowned, "Are you trying to get Pete thrown in jail?"

"I wasn't talkin' about Petey." Remy winked, sliding himself out of the booth with his eyes fixed on the short blonde, "I'll go get us some drinks."

"Yeah, sure you will." Kitty muttered, watching Remy head to the opposite end of the bar from where Pyro was entertaining Ginger Spice with an apparently enthralling story. She pressed her lips into a thin line, watching as the woman with neon pink acrylic nails fondled Piotr's shoulder, hanging onto every excited word spilling out of Pyro's mouth, completely oblivious to the way Piotr was slowly trying to lean away from her. She cast a quick glance in the direction Remy disappeared in before standing up with her face set with determination and crossing the bar to them.

"Hey!" She interrupted Pyro as he was in the midst of recounting the tale of Piotr rescuing a box of puppies from a burning building, spending an inordinate amount of time describing the fire itself. Ginger Spice took one look at Kitty before inexplicably turning around and leaving.

"What are you doin' here?!" Pyro sighed as he watched the cheap looking woman disappear into the crowd. "I had her! You scared her away!"

"Scared her away." Kitty snorted, sitting down next to Piotr with an eye roll, "She was probably just waiting for an excuse to leave."

"What are you doing here." Pyro repeated with an edge of irritation to his voice.

"Oh, Remy wanted to see you. Something about phase four?"

"There's a phase four? What's phase four!?" Pyro's eyes lit up.

"I don't know," Kitty shrugged casually, "But he said to meet him in the parking lot, and to bring a blindfold."

"A blindfold!" Pyro hopped off of his bar stool and rubbed his hands together, "What's the blindfold for?! I gotta go find a blindfold!" And he zipped off through the bar, squeezing himself through the crowd before disappearing through the front doors.

"Blindfold?" Piotr knit his brow, turning to Kitty with a concerned frown, "What is phase four...?"

"Relax, there is no phase four." Kitty smiled, "I just needed an excuse to get rid of Pyro. He's a terrible wingman."

Piotr visibly relaxed and turned back to his beer while Kitty ordered herself some fruity drink with a cherry stabbed onto a mini umbrella.

"This was nothing, he has done far worse." He informed her, taking a swig of beer and giving his head a shake, "Pyro always tends to attract the worst type of women in bars."

Kitty rolled her eyes and sat down on the stool Pyro had left vacant with her newly acquired beverage, "I just don't get why Remy would think that attracting the worst kind of woman would be helpful."

Piotr cut his eyes to Kitty silently, with a very pointed look and Kitty pressed her lips together with a grimace, "Okay, I get it, I just don't agree with it..." She shook her head as she took a sip through the neon green straw, "You shouldn't have to start slumming it, just for the sake of a rebound."

The corner of Piotr's mouth tugged up and he rested his forearms on the edge of the bar, "Remy claims his method is fool proof."

"Yeah well, Remy's an idiot. A Remy-diot." She frowned and muttered to herself, "He's right, it does only work for me..."

"And I am assuming that Remy-diot does not know you are here with me now. You know, since I cannot pick up women with you hanging off of me." He said, the grin sliding off his face the moment he processed what he actually said, "I mean- Those were Remy's words, not mine. You are not-"

She held her hand up to stop him from tripping over his own words, "Well actually, that's exactly what I'm going to do." She stated simply, taking another sip from the bright green straw.

Piotr blinked at her dumbly, "You are... going to what?"

"Hang off of you. Well..." She considered this thoughtfully for a moment, "Sort of. More just... giggly flirting. I mean, I know we have the um... no flirting... agreement. But you know, it's for a good cause. And it's not like it's real flirting, just pretend flirting."

He blinked again before furrowing his brow, "I don't-"

"Just trust me, okay? I know women, Pete. I happen to be one." Kitty began explaining with a smile, "And generally speaking, women are competitive creatures. You put a flirty chick next to a sexy guy, and the hotties come out of the woodwork. They'll realize they want a piece of that," She gestured towards him, "And that they are soooo much hotter than I am."

"That is ridiculous." Piotr smirked.

"Hey, it's a proven fact. I know what I'm talking about. Why do you think guys in relationships always seem so much more desirable?" She shrugged, taking another sip of fruity booze. "It's the forbidden fruit theory, if you will."

"Alright, well..." He began hesitantly, "As long as you are sure I will not be affected by your... how did you say it? Mad flirting skills?"

Kitty let out an unattractive snort and shook her head, "I'll hold back, I promise. Besides, it's just pretend flirting."

"Pretend flirting." Piotr repeated, pressing his lips in a thin line to hide his smile, as he idly thumbed the label on his beer bottle, "I am interested in seeing what pretend flirting looks like."

She scooted her stool a few inches closer to him, putting her elbow on the bar and dropping her chin onto her fist. An easy grin spread across her lips as she looked up at him from under her thick eyelashes. "Hey. How you doin'?"

Piotr let out a laugh, "That is pretend flirting?"

She nodded before batting her eyelashes dramatically.

"And you really think that is going to work?"

"Of course it will." She grinned and gave him a cheeky little wink, "These are partially drunk, competitive women we're talking about here, Pete. It's not like I'm trying to trick a polygraph."

Piotr snorted, taking another drink of his beer.

"No, you have to look at me." She instructed through a perfect smile. He cut his eyes back to her and lifted an eyebrow.

"Eye contact is super important. If I can't keep your attention it'll show the other predators that I'm not really a threat."

"Alright, you have my attention." He pressed his lips into a smile, "Now what?"

"Now I'm going to talk to you like this, while I take a sip from my straw." She narrated before taking a sip of her fruity drink, "It draws attention to my mouth. It's super seductive, and predators will recognize this as an advance."

"I feel like I should be doing something..." Piotr knit his brow before starting to turn away, only to be stopped by the sound of Kitty's exaggerated laugh.

"The predator will know that you have a good sense of humour, which is incredibly important-" She explained through her laugh as she gracefully brushed her hand up his arm, "-And oooh, look at that, now I'm touching your bicep, highlighting the area simultaneously showing possession."

He dropped his eyes to the hand on his arm before narrowing his eyes at her. She gave his right bicep a squeeze accompanied by a playful grin.

"You are having too much fun with this."

"I'm just trying to help you." She said with an innocent shrug, letting her hand slide down to his forearm, "This is what friends do."

"Really? You would do this for Rogue?" Piotr asked with a quirked eyebrow, "I could see how pretend flirting with Rogue would get some attention..."

Kitty snorted, "Not the kind of attention we'd be looking for."

"So this is not how Rogue came to meet her new boyfriend?" He smiled.

"No, they met in a coffee shop." She said, batting her eyelashes dramatically as she spoke, "And I had nothing to do with it. I've never even seen this guy."

"She has been spending a lot of time with him lately, hasn't she?" Piotr observed, taking a drink of his beer, "I mean, I assume that is why she has not been around much."

"She doesn't really confide in me. Rogue likes to pretend that she's mysterious, but I'm assuming her lack of contact means that things are good. You know, no news is good news?" Kitty shrugged, plucking the mini umbrella out of her drink and holding it out towards Piotr, "Do you want my cherry?"

Piotr's eyebrows shot up and he blinked at Kitty, "Is this part of your... pretend flirting...?"

Kitty frowned, "Huh? No, I just don't like cherries." She waved the mini umbrella impatiently, "Do you want my cherry or not?"

"You may want to re-word that..."

"What are you- Oh my GOD!" Her eyes grew wide as her words sunk in, and her face instantly turned a deep shade of red. She slapped a hand over her mouth as she began to laugh.

"I think if you were to have lead with that line at the ballet, you would have had an easier time finding a straight man." Piotr shrugged with the hint of a smile playing on his lips.

"Shut up! It wasn't a line!" Kitty gasped through her laughter, giving his arm a swat, "I didn't mean it like that! I can't believe... I'm so stupid..."

Piotr laughed, "You are not stupid."

"No, you're right, I'm not. I'm actually totally smart, so I have absolutely no excuse." She shook her head, covering her eyes with her hand which was still clutching the cherry-clad mini umbrella. "I am a Kitt-iot."

"No, you are just..." Piotr gingerly pulled the umbrella from between her fingers and grinned, "Quirky."

"Ugh." Kitty grimaced dramatically, "That's worse than cute, Pete."

He rolled his eyes at her and tossed the cherry into his mouth, "Your personality is quirky, you do not look quirky, there is a big difference." He smiled, opening the mini umbrella all the way before tucking it into the hair behind her ear, "There, now you look quirky."

Kitty giggled, "You might think it's quirky, but the mini umbrella serves a practical purpose. You know, should a super localized mini rainstorm materialize above... my ear."

Piotr grinned back at her silently and Kitty sighed,

"Yeah, okay, I'm hearing the quirky thing, you're right."

"Alright, what the hell?!"

Kitty's eyes darted to the person standing behind Piotr, the smile quickly dropping from her face as she sat upright in the bar stool, "Remy-"

"And where the hell did Pyro go!?"

"Uhh..." Kitty slid off the stool and gave him a sheepish little smile, "He might be waiting for you in the parking lot. With a blindfold."

Remy took Kitty by the elbow and frowned, dragging her away from Piotr, "I thought I told you that we're here to be lookouts!"

"Yeah you did, and then you wandered off to try and get with that little blonde chick with the giggly friends." Kitty ripped her arm away from Remy with a scowl, "Besides, Pyro was doing a terrible job, and I thought I could help."

"Help?" Remy raised a very skeptical eyebrow.

"Yeah, help." Kitty snapped, "I explained it all to Pete, I was going to make him appear unavailable-"

"To make him look more appealing." Remy finished her sentence, furrowing his brow thoughtfully, "That actually... makes sense."

"See?" Kitty crossed her arms smugly, "I'm totally more than just a pretty face."

"You were doing a pretty good job too; Fawning all over him with that stupid goofy smile on your face. I mean, from what I saw at least, it was a pretty convincing act."

Kitty's face twisted up and she shook her head, "What are you talking about, I barely even-"

Remy plucked the mini umbrella out from behind her ear and furrowed his brow, "You should consider becoming an actress." He said sincerely, "Or at the very least, see if that escort service you applied for last time is still hiring."

"Shut up." Kitty snatched the mini umbrella back, about to explain to Remy that he was clearly inebriated, since she wasn't actually doing anything except for making a fool of herself, when Remy suddenly cursed.

"It worked. I can't believe it worked..." He said, looking over Kitty's shoulder to where a six foot tall, blonde Amazon woman stopped to chat with Piotr, taking the stool which had only moments before belonged to Kitty. He looked down at Kitty with a little glimmer in his eye, "Shit, you're like magic or something. We should get you to pull that act with Pyro. He could use a good lay, he's been spending a lot of time in the shower lately... our communal shower..."

Remy continued to speak about the dramatic increase in Pyro's private time, but Kitty's eyes were fixed on the back of Amazon woman's blonde head, and Remy's rant fell on deaf ears. She blinked, shifting her eyes to Piotr who was happily chatting away with the girl who appeared to be some sort of up-and-coming supermodel, causing Kitty to frown inwardly as the sudden irrational desire to storm over there and stab Amazon chick in the eye with the stem of her mini umbrella washed over her.

She couldn't understand herself. She should be happy. Not only did she succeed in landing Piotr a suitable rebound chick, but she also managed to one-up Remy. She should be basking in the glory that accompanied proving Remy wrong, but instead she mentally debating the best method in which to incapacitate this gorgeous blonde woman, who was only there because of her in the first place, eventually deciding that an elbow to the nose would be best.

And then it was as if a light bulb went off in her brain.

Her mouth dropped open a fraction and she sucked in a sharp breath, causing Remy to nod, "-I know, right? At least two years. I don't know how he functions, to be completely honest." He knit his brow and gave Kitty a once over, "Are you alright? You look... all flushed."

"Yeah." Kitty pressed her fingertips to her forehead and nodded, "I think I just... drank my fruity drink too fast or something. What can I say, I'm a cheap date?" She lied with a pathetic attempt at a smile.

"What are you talking about, you were drinking? You're our designated driver! Shit Kitty!" Remy frowned, "Didn't Pyro tell you?"

"No." Kitty pulled a face and shook her head, "I can't even drive, I don't have a license."

Remy cussed and turned to the crowd, "Where is that moron?"

"I don't know, look for one of the Spice Girls, I'm sure he'll be near by." She frowned, "I gunna head home, I'll just get a cab."

He looked down at her and frowned again, "You sure you're alright? You didn't leave your drink unattended or anything stupid did you? Because I don't want to find you passed out in some ditch at 3 AM..."

She rolled her eyes and waved him off, "I'm fine. I'll see you later."

With her head down, she maneuvered her way through the bar patrons to the front door as quickly as she could. She stepped out into the muggy night air and looked down at the crushed up mini umbrella in her tightly clenched right fist, finally letting her mind concentrate on her sudden revelation;

She was totally falling for Piotr.

She looked up at the street, still busy with evening traffic and let out a deep breath.

"Oh crap..."