Snippet 87
A Scummy Divorce
Genre: Humor/Family
Pairs: Former Jaccques/Willow
Parody: RWBY/Cyanide and Happiness
AU-Type: Modern AU
Tags: Willow gets some revenge, Payback, Manipulation, Scumbag Schnees, Manipulative!Willow
Context: Weiss would be 12, Whitley would be 10, and Winter would be about 17
The household of the Schnee was going to break at the seams. Jaccques and Willow were agreeing to a divorce but had not told their three children.
"Okay, when we break the news to them. We need to do it in a way that doesn't make one of us look like the bad guy." Jaccques said sternly. "They need to think that I still love them."
"Yeah sure. How about I go in first and take the hit for this." Willow said downing her first glass of wine for the day. "The kids need their father."
Jaccques agreed not even hearing the venom and sarcasm in her voice. The two walked into the living room where Winter was playing poker with Weiss and Whitley.
"Three of a kind." Whitley boasted throwing in his hand.
"Full House." Weiss said smugly taking all the winnings in the pot.
Only for Winter to take it away and toss down her cards, a royal flush. At the moment, Winter had came home not long after graduating military school with honors to see her siblings. Weiss was begging for Winter to visit, and Winter caved. Jaccques cleared his throats getting their attentions.
"Kids, your mother has something to announce." Jaccques said seriously as Willow took a breath.
"You three know we think highly of you to do better than us, and we love you so much. That's why…" Willow said before suddenly changing mood, "We're going to Menagerie for a vacation to celebrate Winter's graduation! And I'm cutting down my drinking!"
This perked Weiss up with excitement at going to places beyond Atlas, Whitley wanted to get out of the cold, and Winter was just happy that her decision to go to military school was being appreciated. All three came up hugging their mother. Jaccques was silently stupefied.
"Thanks mother, I'd love a vacation!" Winter said jovially.
"I want to see a real tiger faunus!" Whitley said excitedly.
"What? No! We're not going on vacation, you liquid bitch!" Jaccques yelled. "We're getting a divorce!"
Willow fell to her knees sobbing while holding her kids tightly.
"How could suggest breaking up our family?!" Willow said dramatically.
Now Winter smelled something fishy, but Weiss and Willow bought the act tearing up alongside her. Whitley even asked why he wanted to break up the family.
"You monster! There's probably another woman you're seeing! Is she prettier than me? Was it worth breaking up this family?" Willow screamed. "You bastard!"
Jaccques realized that she played him right into the crappiest end of divorce. Ironically, he was not even seeing another woman. His reason for divorce was out of greed, but it did not matter. With two of the younger kids against him, he lost the divorce hard. He did not have to pay child support, at the very least, but he was left with nothing. Much to Winter's surprise, she had kept her word and took the kids on a wonderful vacation. And Jaccques? He found work elsewhere.
"Sleeping in a tent, are you kidding me?!" Jaccques complained.
"Do I pay you to talk or to use your penis?" Raven said with a sigh as she began to undress. "Days like this, I wish I never left Tai. Now I have to pay you for a decent helping of sex because the men in my tribe are a bunch of limp dicks."
Winter never did exactly like the fact that her mother had basically manipulated things into her favor through Weiss and Whitney. She was right on her promising to cut her drinking was bullshit.
(A/N: I know most will side with Willow, but this was written for you to dislike the two of them. It is typical in some of these divorce for the women to abuse the system to screw over men. Not to say, Jaccques is innocent, but Willow isn't exactly either. Think of it as a lesser of two evils deal.)