Snippet 90

RWBY reacts to…Special Hunters Unit

Genre: Humor

Pairs: None

Parody: RWBY

AU-Type: R4S-eqsue AU (Reactverse)

Tags: Slight NSFW Warning, Meta, Reaction Fic, Cinder is a thot

Within the atypical white void between worlds, a lone young man in a cloak sat keying at his laptop on his desk before looking to the audience.

"Been a long time since I did it." He remarked keying a command at his computer before executing the program. "80 snippets ago actually. To Green, yes for the material."

Mirai had gotten a bit older now standing at 5'11". For the occasion, he wore different clothes. A black t-shirt with Team YUKI's symbol on front, blue pants, his usual boots, and a grey jacket. His headphones were at his desk, but his sword was still at his side.

A black portal formed in the air as several familiar faces fell out of it into the pillows on the floor. Ruby and Yuki were the first to get up.

"Chronoa!" Yuki said only to see a white void.

"What the heck is going on?" Ruby said getting up.

"We're doing this again….It's been a long time, Mirai." Ozpin said dusting himself off.

"What are you talking about?" Jaune said confused.

"Oh, just us reacting to other worlds. Seems we've been brought back with guests." Nora said helping Team YUKI up.

"Who the hell are you?" Yuki asked Mirai.

"In a way, I am your creator. Your origin. But that's not important as I brought all of you here to endure this world I have witnessed." Mirai explained as the room shifted straight to be a theater.

With their snacks and everyone seated, the film rolled.

You are entering the courtroom of Judge Jaune Arc. He's a real judge, in his courtroom everyone has a right to a fair trial, but if they're proven wrong, he'll make them pay

"Jaune's a judge? Pfft…" Weiss said breaking out in laughter.

"Hey, I can be a judge." Jaune said defending himself.

"To be fair, you are full of disappointments." Ivory sniped. "All that aura and you can't use it."

In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In Vale the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Hunter's Unite. These are their stories…

Everyone in the room get serious especially Kelly who was glaring holes at Whitley's seat the entire time.

Court Room 12:00 PM

"Alright, let's get on with this court case." Judge Jaune Arc said as he banged his gavel. "At the defense was one Mercury Black, with the plaintiff being Cinder Fall. Mercury had chosen to represent himself, while Cinder was being represented by Roman Torchwick."

"And I can't this seriously." Lapis said shaking her head. "Roman as a lawyer? Good grief."

Neo held up a sign saying that he'd made a great lawyer. Cinder was wondering what Mercury to her, and Emerald was cracking her knuckles. Mercury was wondering what Cinder was accusing him of.

Jaune looked to Mercury from atop his chair and asked him. "How do you plead. Mercury?"

"I didn't do shit!" Mercury hollered.

"That's surely going to assure us you're innocent." Blake said sarcastically.

Yuki would have sniped at that, but he was too busy silting Adam's throat under Mirai's nose.

Jaune then looked to Roman and Cinder asking them to state your case.

Roman quickly retorted. "He's full of shit, and he assaulted by client!"

"How exactly?" Emerald asked as Cinder shushed her.

Mercury sighed "Look I swear on my mother, she said she wasn't a true maiden, and besides it was consensual!"

"Figured a snake like you would do something like this." Emerald said looking at Mercury.

"Look at all that brown on his nose. How's kissing Cinder's ass?" Mercury sniped back as Cinder shushed.

Roman glared at Mercury before pointing an accusing finger. "Objection your honor! He has no mother!"

Yuki punched Roman in the face and said, "Roman, I love you like a brother, but you crossed a line."

Mercury felt a little better and Lapis even give a support thumbs up.

"That's irrelevant, I'm innocent god damnit!" Mercury pointed right back at Roman.

"My client was assaulted by this man and should be sentenced to life in prison." Roman slammed his fists onto the table, while Cinder just watched with a cruel smirk.

"Can you not look more like a total cunt?" Pyrrha asked to shock of everyone.

"I don't know, you tell me. You did get an eyeful of me when you last living." Cinder snarked.

Mirai had to restrain Pyrrha before she ruined the theater.

Cinder had soon adopted a more 'innocent' look before playing up the seduction in her voice.

"It's true your honor. That Mercury is a naughty boy, and should be punished. Mmm mehe." She purred.

The women sans Cinder and Emerald facepalm as Emerald was cheering for Mercury to go to prison.

"Idiot is going to screw herself into prison." Kelly said shaking her hand.

Mercury's eye went wide as he motioned both his arms to Cinder. "Ya see! Does a pure woman talk that way?!"

Jaune looked down at his lap. "I do have an erection. I see your point Merc."

Jaune did not want to admit he had one and neither did a few other men and women.

Roman spoke back up again, and glared straight into Mercury's eyes. "Have you no respect Mercury?! That's someone's daughter! How do you think her father would feel?!"

"Pfft…don't make me laugh." Mercury hissed.

Mercury just raised his middle fingers in response. "Why do you care?! Your dad doesn't even love you!"

Laughter arose at Roman's expense. Being dead didn't help he would be hearing it even in the afterlife.

Roman dropped the glare and looked straight back at Jaune.

"Your honor it's obvious that he's attacking me personally now." Roman sounded very offended.

Cinder rubbed her hand down Roman's shoulder. "It's ok Roman, I know what it's like to be taken advantage of."

Yuki held Neo to which the mute stayed on his lap to calm down.

"What say you Mercury, against these accusations?" Jaune asked Mercury with his brow raised.

Mercury just smirked as he had his ace in the sleeve ready. "I call upon my witness. Jaune Arc!"

"Le what?" Kelly asked.

Everyone gasped hearing this, and looked to the judge…

"What?" Roman said looking at Mercury as if he was mad.

"Without an e." Mercury narrowed his eyes.

"Juan Arc? But we don't have another brother." Terra said in confusion.

"Pretty sure, that's not the case." Saphron said confused.

The Jury, comprising of RWBY, NPR, Yuki, and Neo, who was furious about Cinder touching Roman, watched on as they were shocked to see a mustachioed version of Jaune walking into the court room.

"Huh I did not expect Jury Duty to be this entertaining." Blake said between bites of her sushi.

"So, wait, does jury duty allow us to eat on the job? Because that sushi looks good." Blake said drooling at the sushi.

"This is better than my soaps!" Yang said as she scarfed down a handful of popcorn.

"You watch soap operas?" Weiss asked the blonde brawler.

"The Lust and the Endless is a good show…shut up." Yang said under her breath.

"Yang this is serious! Someone's life lies on the line." Weiss said though still unsure of what qualifications Jaune had to be a judge.

She just drank her coffee and waited for the results.

Yang rolled her eyes as Weiss pouted at that.

"Yeah have some decorum!" Nora hollered as she scarfed down a hot dog.

"What do you know about decorum?" Cardin snorted.

CRUNCH! Cardin now had a broken leg and wished he never said that.

"You're one to talk Nora." Ren said flatly, though he was enjoying one of his health smoothies as they saw the bailiff, Qrow of all people, led in Jaune's doppelgänger.

Pyrrha was too distracted seeing Jaune's mustachioed doppelgänger to really comment. She hadn't noticed that Nora was in the middle of taking her chocolate.

"Thirsty bitch!" Ivory said being petty by throwing popcorn at the screen.

"I'm still trying to figure out how I got roped into this." Yuki grunted in the middle of a bowl of noodles.

"Note to self, find ways out of jury duty back home." Yuki thought as Serena was going on to find ways.

"..." Neo just shoveled more ice cream into her mouth out of annoyance of that whore Cinder still rubbing Roman.

Cinder was chuckling nervously as Neo gotten out of Yuki's lap and in Cinder's with a gun at throat. Emerald was snarling at the fact that Cinder got the "good seat".

Ruby looked at them all, and pouted. "What? No one thought about getting me a snack?"

"Well how's that for irony." Raven snarked.

"Alright, Mercury calls upon his witness. Jaun without an e." Jaune looked to his evil older twin brother once removed and had him place his hand on a copy of 'Cowboys of Redemption'. "Now, do you swear to tell the truth, and nothing but the truth? So, help you Oum."

Jaun just looked at his twin brother, as his barely hidden contempt for the younger Arc scion was on full display. "Fuck you!"

"An evil Jaune? So, a puppykicker?" Yuki asked as Jaune scowled.

Ruby and Kelly were glaring at Jaune at the thought of a version of him being a kicker of puppies.

Jaune paused but looked back to the rest of the courtroom. "You heard him folks, go ahead, question the witness."

Mercury looked to his witness, and grinned. "Jaun without an e, did you or did you not see me have sexual relations with Cinder Fall?"

"Yes," Jaun looked to his brother, "He was in fact balls deep your honor."

Roman was very giddy hearing this and had to fight the urge to do a twirl. "Ya see your honor! Mercury even admits to assaulting my client!"

Mercury glowered at Roman, and nearly threw his pitcher of water at the ginger. "Now hold on! Fucking dick!"

Many fought the urge to laugh, but failed to as Roman was groaning on the inside at the idea of doing twirls in glee.

Mercury turned his head back to Jaun. "Jaun without an e, could you please tell the court who initiated the situation."

"Well as I was preparing the lotion from behind the safety of the shuttered closet. It was Cinder I saw leap onto Mercury first." Jaun said much to the disgust of most of everyone in the audience, though Blake was taking notes.

"Aha! Therefore my ass is innocent! She started this, and she's a thot!" Mercury pointed straight dead at an offended Cinder.

"What's a thot?" Ruby asked innocently.

Yuki got up from his seat, walked down, snagged the remote, and paused the movie.

"It means that Cinder…." Yuki said before taking a singing voice, "Is that whore over there!"

"How dare you!" Emerald said angrily.

"Man, shut your gutter trash up, you second-rate ho." Yuki said before walking back to his seat. "If you got an issue, come up and make me eat those words, I dare you."

The movie continued as a few were snickering at the exchange.

"Hey, that's not very nice! I am a respected member of the RWBY community." Cinder crossed her arms.

Mercury had an unamused look as he looked to Jaune. "Objection your honor, bitch be lyin."

Roman looked to Jaune, and much to everyone's surprise agreed with Mercury. "Yeah I second that one your honor."

"Of course, I am a respected member." Cinder said crossing her arms.

Team YUKI broke out into laughter falling out of their seats. Ivory, while still laughing, threw dildos of light at Cinder's face. Kelly was clang pots and pans. Lapis was pacing herself not to run out of breath, and Yuki was sniggering.

"Cinder. Cinder, you stupid thot. You think your worth shit? No, you look like a failing Saturday morning cartoon villain that's auditioning for amateur porn when your show was canceled." Yuki said looking down at Yuki.

Cinder was silent, but Mercury shamelessly laughed while everyone else left bad for Cinder a little.

Jaune sighed, and rubbed his temples before looking to the court. "Alright let's be honest, how many people within this courtroom have slept with Cinder Fall? Raise your hand."

Jaun raised his hand, then Mercury, Jaune did as well causing Pyrrha and Ruby began to formulate their revenge, Yuki, Yang, and much to everyone's shock, and Neo's anger, Roman. Everyone in the Jury also learned that threats from a mute could be just as scary, if not more than a regular person.

"Jeez, is Cinder even that good a lay?" Qrow asked only to get no answer.

"Well I guess the cat's out of the bag now." Cinder has shrugged.

"Uh-huh. Yuki, what say the Jury?" Jaune asked the head juror.

Yuki looked up from his food when he'd heard that he'd been called on. "Hm, oh your honor the ladies and gentlemen of the Jury find R. Kelly guilty."

Mirai rolled his eyes and the audience realized that the oracle understood the context of that line.

Jaune looked surprised by that call, like super surprised. "What? Wrong trial Yuki."

"Oh, right. Mercury's innocent." Yuki said before picking back up his bowl.

"Damn right!" Mercury said doing a victory dance.

"At least, Merc's off the hook from what would have been a disaster on his record." Ozpin said pleased with the outcome.

"Like he cares about his record." Salem said rolling her eyes.

"Yess!" Mercury said as he jumped up in the air.

[["Don't You(Forget About Me)" starts playing]]

Mercury: Mercury had all charges against him dropped. He was later confused for some guy named Sasuke by some weird blonde guy, and a girl with pink hair.

"I don't get it." Mercury said confused as Mirai said, "Another universe, another guy has a voice like yours. That tends to happen often."

Roman: After Roman lost the case, he retired as a lawyer. He later would be punished by Neo in her personal dungeon for sleeping with that whore Cinder…

Roman shuddered as Neo cracked a whip. Ivory gave the criminal a flirty wink as she would like to join in the fun.

Cinder: Cinder continued her legendary ways of being a thot. She slept with 666 men one hour after the trial…

"That ho over there!" Yuki sang again as Cinder glared daggers at him. "That face would be a lot better with a dick in it. Probably not mine, you'd choke."

Blake had blood coming down at the implication.

Jaune: Jaune was later cornered by an angry Pyrrha, and Ruby for sleeping with Cinder. He still can't walk without a limp to this day; he's expecting red haired and silver eyed kids any day now.

"Can't believe I had to share." Pyrrha thought. "Better than nothing."

Taiyang cracked his knuckles ready to jump Jaune, but Yang got to him first.

Jaun: Jaun, without an e, continued to plot Jaune's death, but eventually gave up, found love, and stole Neptune's girlfriend.

"Aye, fuck you man!" Neptune screamed.

Yuki: Yuki went back to his team, deciding he should apply to be a judge. His first case is Glynda Goodwitch v. Sienna Kahn, for ownership of Ironwood's Iron schlong.

"So, is his dick made of…" Penny asked as Ironwood was waving his hands to stop her.

"But who'd win the case?" Ivory asked.

"Sienna if she plays the race card." Kelly said scarastically.

Ruby: Ruby teamed up with Pyrrha to make Jaune regret not sleeping with them first. She's currently expecting a beautiful baby boy.

Weiss: After a night on the town with Jaun without an e, Weiss soon learned not all men with mustaches are evil. They plan to marry, and have her father killed by next winter.

"Oh come on." Neptune whined.

"But I'm not into Jaune!" Weiss whined alongside him.

Blake: Blake turned the events of the court into an erotic legal novel. She's earned enough money to keep her fat Bellabooty drowned in Tuna for the rest of her life.

"My ass isn't fat!" Blake said defensively.

"That's debatable." Adam's ghost said.

Yang: Yang would later go on to take over Vacuo. She rules with an Iron pun.

Raven was impressed and would have wanted to have a drink with this version of Yang.

Pyrrha: After a week of making Jaune's body forget Cinder, Pyrrha felt lighter than air. She's expecting twin daughters any day now.

"I bet they're cute." Pyrrha said swooned.

Nora: Nora burned down a village for worshipping waffles. No one could convict her.

"Oum, Nora! What the shit?" Jaune asked as Nora shrugged.

"What can I say? Pancake or bust." Nora said nonchalantly.

Ren: Ren kept Nora from burning down a second village. He later went on to dance battle the God of Light, and win.

Ozpin and Salem had their jaws on the floor as Ren chuckled to him.

Neo: Neo still hasn't released Roman from her dungeon to this day.

"And she never will." Mirai said as the people ended. "All right, folks. Back home with you all."

Mirai snapped his fingers and they all vanished before he faced the audience.

"Thank you RWBY community, for all your support. Walking this wasn't exactly my strong suit, but I did out of a favor for a good friend. 90 snippets are quite something. Sadly, no challenges were taken and made it pass the pilot, yet. But I am hopeful. Also, hopeful that you guys check out my other content." Mirai mused as he was back at his desk. "But I do have some light bad news. I will be cutting the Neo Drunk Marriage and Vacation Au Naturale miniseries off. One is for lack of motivation and the other is because of RWBY Unlimited: Path of Shadows existing. Sorry guys."

Mirai sighed but perked up.

"But hey, we're close to one hundred. There's still more to do, and I still want to get a trope page for my work soon enough. Let's make the most of this year!" Mirai said before it all faded to black.

(A/N: 90th snippet has come. So far, this is giving Dragon Ball Blackthorn a run for most chapters. But I doubt that as I want to get back to that fic before the year's over. Thank you, Green (Hapless-Ace). Reacting to this…was humorous for me.)