Snippet 96
Rooster Teeth of Yesteryear : Villains Edition
Genre: Angst/Humor
Pairs: Not really important
Parody: RWBY/Camp Camp/Red vs Blue/Robot Chicken – (Playthings of Yesteryear)
AU-Type: Meta AU
Tags: A future where RT completely falls, Characters out of work, Animated Actors, Dark Humor, Real World humor, a bit of digs
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It was all over the news in California as police gathered to swarm as someone was threatening to jump off the bridge. It was a rather petite woman with little to live for as tears were in her wide eyes.
"Tragedy stuck today in sunny California as an unidentified chameleon faunus held up traffic for an hour before jumping to her death." Lisa Lavender reported as Ilia jumped off the bridge. "She was later identified as Il.."
The footage was paused as it's revealed to be on a screen where the camera pans out to revealed a studio where a rather tall dark colored young man is standing in the center dressed a casual black hoodie, icy blue undershirt, blue jeans, dark high-tops, and a white belt. His icy blue hair done up in a wolf's tail showing his heterochromia with one eye blue and one eye silver. This was the host of the show, Yuki Azure.
"Truly a tragedy, but all too common. You ever wonder what became of Rooster Teeth's golden teams after the fall? If you're just some rich sellout who screwed it up, you're probably too busy counting money off the back of a $10,000 a night whore to care. But I care." Yuki said dryly.
A black and white snapshot of Daniel dead on the streets soaked in blood.
"Daniel. Killed on the streets of California after trying to convert street thugs into his cult." Yuki said apathetic to the cult leader. "He won't be missed."
Another snapshot was shown but this time of Vera being executed by a gun put to the back of her head.
"Vera. Shot and executed for being caught as a Russian spy interfering with local elections"
Another snapshot is shown of Hazel being exposed to a camera while trying to block the camera.
"Hazel Reinhart. Currently on the run for the attempted murder of an Alabama senator."
Another snapshot is shown of Tyrian being exposed to a camera while in a suit in front of a political building.
"Somehow that asshole became the senator of Alabama despite being accusations that he has an underage girl kept as a live-in maid." Yuki said rolling his eyes. "Moore must be proud."
The scene changed to Yuki walking into a modest yet fancy condominium where Neo sat at a computer desk keying away.
"Unlike most of the others, Neo and Roman had managed to take their talents to start a business. So, Neo, Roman, what have you doing?" Yuki remarked.
"Producing our own RWBY manga trying to make up the pieces. So far, it's coming along well." Roman remarked. "We got a strong community and we even hired a few people to come down to assist in writing."
"If you can excuse us, we got to call our lawyer to wrestle the rights away from Miles." Neo said as Yuki was shown the door.
"Well let's just hope it's not like the DC Comics." Yuki said walking out of the door.
The scene cuts to the streets of Kansas where a march was being held with people holding signs decrying the LGBT, Muslims, Jews, and everyone not a Baptist like them all being a familiar redhead.
"Surprising everyone, Adam Tarsus become a pastor for the Westboro Baptist Church." Yuki narrated as Yuki approached a well-dressed Adam before asking, "Adam, what drove you to be a preacher?"
"I was thrown out of the room on my own and about to kill myself until God showed me the light. I realize that it's lesbians, the Blake stans, the SJW, and the fetishizers that ruined me. Thus, I will protest against rights for those loathes pieces of scum. God hates them and it's up to me to rain fire on them." Adam said fervently believing in his dogma. "We all protest for them to be expelled from the country. Now out of my way, disgusted plebian! I refused to share air with those who are not pure."
"And you're so much better than Ilia." Yuki said with eye roll.
"That loathsome sinner is nothing like me! I am superior and God knows it! If I lie, then may God stri…" Adam said before a massive lightning bolt crashes down on Adam.
Nothing left from a smear on the ground as Yuki walked away shaking his head. The scene cut to what appears to be a typical Wendy's and Yuki walks in.
"Speaking of the White Fang, Sienna Khan, the former leader is now just an underpaid cashier at a Wendy's. But hey, she could have been stuck at McDonald's." Yuki narrated before he came up to Sienna asking how she ended up here.
"Lack of education, lack of skills. With the show, everyone had to get real jobs and I was screwed. It was either this or reduce myself to working in porn." Sienna said miserably. "But at this rate, I'll have to crawl to Jaccques for a job."
"Wait, he produces porn?" Yuki asked in mild shock.
Sienna would have answered had not some brat walked up complaining that his shake was terrible and threw it in Sienna's face. Yuki and the watch could see Sienna fighting not to break down sobbing that this was her life now.
"Excuse me, one second." Yuki said walking off-camera.
Sounds of a scuffle were heard off-screen along with a smashing of a car window before Yuki returned inside dusting off his hands.
"Here." Yuki said putting down a five hundred dollar tip. "You'll need this."
"I…I can't accept it. We're not allowed to accept tips." Sienna said bitterly.
"So, when you get off work then?" Yuki asked as a small smile curled up on her lips.
The scene changed to show Yuki watching through a trailer park in the evening finding Mercury outside his holding a shotgun outside while Max is leaning on the trailer watching videos on his phone.
"And here we find Mercury Black who was once Cinder's right foot man, today he's a barely employed mall security guard staring down the big 4-0." Yuki narrated.
The video cuts to Yuki and Mercury inside for the interview seated each having a can of beer.
"After the show ended, we all pretty much had to get real jobs. Except Salem…she and Ozpin basically screwed us all over to retire to the Virgin Islands enjoying the sun and raising those fucking kids." Mercury said with a snarl.
"A true shame. Was security your first job?" Yuki asked.
Mercury twitched having a painful flashback of being an escort for hire. The things that Patty and Selma Bouvier did to him would haunt him forever even if it did pay well.
"Yeah…sure it was." Mercury lied.
"So, Max is being cared for by you?" Yuki asked as the camera turned to Max for a few seconds to show him flip everyone off.
"Yes, he's Emerald's little brother. He's practically a son to me." Mercury said as Max snarked, "Only because you fuck my sister."
"Speaking of Emerald, what does she do?" Yuki asked as Mercury really did not want to answer.
But before anyone could say anything, Emerald came out in heels, makeup, and a trenchcoat saying she was off to work. Mercury held his head in his shame, and Emerald rubbed his shoulder in support.
"Look sweetheart, when I get home, I'll give my special lapdance." Emerald said assuring him. "You'll get a better job soon."
She kissed him as the cheek and left leaving Yuki to wonder what the name of that strip club was she worked on.
"Well…what about Cinder?" Yuki asked.
"What about Cinder?" Mercury said sarcastically. "From what I hear, Watts is in federal prison for scamming senior citizens in a Ponzi scheme. I should have robbed that asshole."
"Hey, it could be worse. She could be a prostitute." Yuki said trying to comfort.
It did not work well, and Yuki left feeling awful. The scene cuts to Yuki's dining room table as he and Sienna are having pizza and having a good time.
"It's easy to forget about the beloved character. But, as fans, we must never forget to treat everyone with honor, decency, and respect."
"Yuki, I have to say thank you for this date. Better than my dumpy apartment. Could I have another glass of wine?" Sienna asked.
"Of course, Sienna." Yuki said before yelling for his maid.
Cinder Fall dressed up in a rather revealing maid arriving with the bottle of wine refilling their glasses.
"You have Cinder as your maid?" Sienna said impressed.
"A fitting place for her." Yuki said taking up his glass. "And Sienna, I want to offer you a bit of job to help host the show with me."
"Well then, let's toast to it." Sienna said clinking glasses before savoring their drinks.
(A/N: This line à ["Truly a tragedy, but all too common. You ever wonder what became of Rooster Teeth's golden teams after the fall? If you're just some rich sellout who screwed it up, you're probably too busy counting money off the back of a $10,000 a night whore to care. But I care." Yuki said dryly.] was going to be quite different. Here's a few takes on it I considered from didn't put it for various reason.)
#1 ["All too common that stars are driven to suicide. You ever wonder what became of Rooster Teeth's golden teams after the fall? If you're just some Bumblebee fan on the internet, you're probably too busy counting getting off on quality Bumblebee porn to care. But I care." Yuki said dryly.]
#2 ["I don't really feel too bad for Ilia. Rooster Teeth screwed her up bad. But if you're just some pervert on the internet, you're probably too busy getting off on Jessica Nigiri to care. But I care." Yuki said dryly.]
#3 ["Truly a tragedy, but all too common. You ever wonder what became of Rooster Teeth's golden teams after the fall? If your name is Miles Luna, you're probably too busy counting money off the backs of the fans to sue for this joke. But I care." Yuki said dryly.]
#4 ["Truly a tragedy, but all too common. You ever wonder what became of Rooster Teeth's golden teams after the fall? If your name is Miles Luna, you're probably too busy counting money off the backs of the fans to sue for this joke. But I care." Yuki said dryly.]
#5 ["Truly a tragedy, but all too common. You ever wonder what became of Rooster Teeth's golden teams after the fall? If you're a part of the CRWBY, you're probably too busy denying the burning ship around you. But I see it." Yuki said dryly.]
(A/N: Yes, there are going to be a sequel focused on what the heroes are doing. And it's not exactly going to be pleasant.)