Snippet 114

Guest Writer Theather 6: Jeggings React

Genre: Humor/Meta/NSFW

Pairs: Vary

Parody: RWBY

AU-Type: Meta [Hapless-Ace's react room]

Tags: A react fic to the "No Jeggings Allowed" snippet, pervy humor, and the works

"Ok who would you bang if you could get away with?" Mercury asked Ace between bites of pizza.

"Ilia." Ace replied without looking up for his tablet.

"Ilia? But she's a lesbian." Mercury raised a brow to the other man's response.

Ace sighed as he leaned his head back. "What can I say, I want what I can't have. Truly I am a man made to suffer."

Mercury stares at him with a blank look before putting his pizza down. "Suffer my ass, you have a harem you share with your girlfriend."

Ace held up his hands defensively. "And that harem will never be complete because I can't have two women."

"Oh his sad for you, you can't bang two chicks because one is a lesbian, and the other is taken. How is Nora by the way?" Mercury smirked.

"Last I checked she was having the serving droid make her the ultimate stake of pancakes." Ace shrugged, and on cue Nora kicked open the door to the theater room. Behind her was serving droids, wheeling in a literal castle made of pancakes.

"Ready for movie night!" Nora exclaimed as she took her normal seat before pulling a pancake from the pile, where Mercury saw Nora's usual messy eating; Ace saw it as beautiful, majestic even ...sadly Mercury's was the more accurate vision of what was going on.

"Alrighty let's play this piece." Ace said before pressing the activation button.

Roman Torchwick hated his job. Being a teacher in the modern era of education was simply a nightmare. He hated the low pay, long hours, and the incompetence of the principal and the board. He used to love teaching too, but the years wore on him. At least he was a sub, and only had to be called in when needed. Today, he had to deal with an advanced algebra class. He almost pities those students, but this was Beacon Academy, the private school that will screw you over to line administration's pocket. He looked down at the note from the principal.

Mercury scoffed at what he was seeing. "Really Torchwick we a teacher? What's next Cinder we a nun?"

"You have that little faith in his teaching abilities?" Nora asked between bites.

"Considering I've worked with the guy, yes." Mercury rolled his eyes

"I wish that grey-haired ass would just…" Roman thought before entering the room to see a warzone. "Oh god, why?"

Roman cleared his throat and said "Hello class my name is Mr. Torchwick. I will be your substitute while Mr. Black is getting trialed for child abuse and domestic violence."

Mercury started laughing at hearing this and seemed to have said something about dropping soap. He'd continued to laugh well out of his seat and began pounding the ground with his fist.

Nora watched Mercury fall to the ground while she was nibbling on a pancake. "Is he gonna be alright?"

"Eh, catharsis by proxy is still catharsis I suppose." The Ace shrugged

"You can call me Mr. T, and I have a note from the principal," No jeggings.""

"Ahhh, jeggings show off my back bumpers so well!" Nora moaned in lose.

Mercury stopped laughing as Nora mentioned her back bumpers, and that had him curious. "The hell are those?"

"Why my delicate tush Mercury!" Nora said as she wiggles her butt for emphasis

Roman did this while writing his name on the board while the groans of protest from one student. Said student was Emerald Sustrai, the queen bee's bitch and asskisser wearing just a lime green tube top with the illegal jeggings. Said jeggings were tight

"What?" Emerald said standing up to show them off. "Come on, they're jeans!"

"Em, I agree with Torchwick," Mercury couldn't help but lick his lips, "that doesn't taste right, anyway. You shouldn't be wearing jeggings, just take them off and go about your day."

Ace just stared at Mercury curiously. "What do she have new pants she can replace them with?"

Mercury looked Ace dead in the eye, and smirked. "Didn't say she had to replace them."

"No, you vapid brat, they're leggings. They're just disguised to look like jeans," Roman retorted leaving her to huff.

"Yeah, Emmy. We can see all those asscrack and crotch lines," Mercury teased. "Better with them off though."

"See this version of me gets it!" Mercury pointed at the other him that was on the screen.

"Whatever." Emerald huffed as she sat back down.

"What about my tacket?" Ilia asked showing it off.

"Do they actually make those?" Nora said as she began working on another pancake castle that was wheeled in.

"I don't know, and I dare not find out." Ace responded as he rolled his eyes.

"Hey, is that a tank top jacket?" Roman asked getting a confirmation from her. "No, that's very slutty and it can't be worn. Besides, it's only making you look like a shrimp."

"I bet you hate these steleakers too, don't you?" Ilia screamed standing in them.

"Yeah, those are definitely banned. Now, are those pants you're wearing? What are those?" Roman asked tiredly.

Mercury shuddered, as what he was about to say went against every principal in his being. "I actually feel sorry for Torchwick, oh god that really didn't taste good to say.

Ace patted him on the shoulder while they all continued to watch the show.

Really wishing he had taken Neo's path of going into showmaking. She's now writing her hit animated show, SPHR, and making bank with her own studio, Shark Fang Studios. Maybe he'll give her a call at the end of school. Just a few more months, he thought.

"Stockis? Stocking khakis?" Ilia exclaimed with disbelief.

Ace didn't appear phased by new about what Neo was going through. "Huh, and people are still referencing SPHR."

"You know I'm make a lipstick lesbian joke, but that's beneath me." Mercury leaned back as he continued to watch. "Instead I'd rather ask why the hell does she have those!"

"Gotcha. Not allowed." Roman said with a shrug.

"What about Max? He's wearing a hat!" Sun said pointing to sulky student wearing a turban.

"That's a turban, you shirtless idiot. It's cultural!" Roman scolded.

Nora eyes sparkled at the Turban, like she'd just laid eyes on the best thing in the world. Well best thing second to Ren…., and pancakes, maybe Jaune too, definitely second to Pyrrha. Ok it was in her top ten of the best things in the world.

"Who the hell wears a Turban to school?" Ace asked while Mercury shrugged.

"I didn't think Max would either." Mercury responded

Max stood up revealing he was not wearing pants saying, "I also got a dick turban."

"Woah!" Mercury and Ace said not expecting that.

"Fucking….just what? I vouch for you, man!" Roman said fighting off laughter.

"So, I guess that means I can't wear my nirt?" Yang asked sarcastically.

"She's setting up for one of her shitty jokes, I just know it." Mercury facepalmed as he got ready for it.

"You mean that shitty yellow jacket?" Roman asked, beginning to feel a little annoyed.

She unzipped her hoodie to reveal her bare chest saying, "My not-a-shirt?".

No one said anything, though they all did take screenshots.

Nora was the first one to finally speak. "Yang did always have nice gazongas, I'm surprised she has them pierced though…."

"Yeah." Both men agreed with her as they crossed their legs for obvious reasons.

Many would have snapped a photo for later use, especially Ilia. Yang's ample breasts had a bit of jiggle much to the joy of many. Roman wished it was her mother instead.

Once everyone stopped marveling at Yang's more than ample chest, they collected themselves, and were surprised that Roman wanted Raven.

"Eh 7.5 out of 10." Mercury said rating the older woman.

"Careful you don't want to anger Raven's asskissers." Ace said before making a note to have Raven's cult of fanboys and girls annihilated later.

Mercury smirked, and took a drink from the serving bot. "They can all individually, or in a group, blow me."

"That's just not wearing a shirt," Roman explained, suddenly feeling very tired.

"Even if she was eighteen, I can't even enjoy this. Ugh, I need a cigar." Roman thought.

'Mixed with a shirt!" Yang exclaimed defensively.

She pointed to the bottom of a plaid shirt hugging her waist.

"Torchwick stop being lame, and just accept that Blondie is breaking no rules." Mercury said as he kept his yes glued on Yang's chest.

Ace sighed before pressing a button that turned the censors on.

"Hey!" Mercury said glaring at Ace.

"Mercury if we kept those uncovered none of us would get anything done." Ace responded

Mercury huffed and continued to glare at Ace.

"Well yeah if you operate under logic and reason." Mercury sniped.

"You'll still going to be SUSPENDED." He explained exasperatedly.

"Swearrings?" Ruby Rose asked innocently pointing to her earrings that were literally mini sweaters hanging from a metal hook.

"Huh no one is gonna lewd the Rube?" Nora asked nobody in particular.

Mercury just had a blank look on his face. "Why was I unexpecting earrings that were just curse words?"

"Sweater earrings! Those are absolutely fine!" Roman exclaimed happily. "Hell, you get to leave ten minutes early."

"I knew that they were lucky!" Ruby thought.

"Can I wear my belly shirt?" Ered asked getting a nod from Roman.

"Is she stoned in class?" Mercury pondered, really being stoned would have made Beacon more bearable.

"Eh, who knows but her baby abs aren't much to brag about." Nora muttered.

Ered really just wanted to show that she finally got some abs on her stomach. She wasn't near Pyrrha's level, but she could join the club now.

"What about my belly shirt?" Nora said literally wearing a tiny skirt around her belly.

"Ooh I should definitely wear that!" Nora grinned maniacally at seeing her counterpart dressed like that.

"Where the fuck do you even those clothes?" Roman exclaimed. "And you're soaked…"

Nora's face was flushed as she was certainly getting off on the clothes her "daddy" (Ren) was having her wear.

Nora's grin was replaced with a blush as she did definitely call Ren daddy. She also had several interesting tattoos that expressed "daddy's" ownership of her body.

"Um you ok?" Mercury asked while snapping his fingers in front of Nora.

"There apart of the Nigiri Collection." Cinder said getting up to reveal she was completely naked. "It's where I got this Nunzie."

Roman's eye twitched. Yes, Cinder was attractive, but what she said was grinding on his mind.

"You're just naked…." Roman stammered.

"Huh, so she doesn't shave down there. Looks like I owe Watts some cash." Mercury said not really phased by Cinder's nudity.

"Why was I expecting her to have piercings in places." Ace added with some disappointment in his voice.

"Agreed." Mercury said.

"You just can't appreciate Jessica Nigiri's genius." Cinder said doing a hair clip. "You old fogey."

"Fogey? I'm only 24!" Roman raged. "Besides you're near 20 and still in high school!"

"What Cinder was held back, who would have guessed?" Nora responded dryly.

Cinder rolled her eyes and sat down. Roman noticed Dolph was clearly rubbing on out to Cinder, but let that go because it was not worth the effort to get mad.

"What about my bloodstained jacket?" Cardin asked.

Nora perked up again, at a blood-stained jacket. "Ooh, now that's very fashionable! I'll steal it!"

Ace and Mercury looked at her like she'd gone crazy.

"Aside the fact, you're wearing a jacket coated in blood in one layer. Is that blood even yours?" Roman asked dryly.

"Of course not, I strangled a homeless man and used his blood." Cardin said fluffing his jacket.

Mercury just frowned seeing what Cardin said he'd done to get his jacket. "And people say I'm a sociopath."

"Is my superhero cape, okay?" Velvet said nervously putting her hand. "I'm cosplaying as Supergirl for a class."

"If only more classes graded you on your cosplaying skills." Ace chuckles at seeing how adorable Velvet was.

"Well that's fine." Roman said cheerfully only for that smile to fall to see Coco. "You have got to be kidding me."

"What? I'm cosplaying as a superheroine too." Coco said striking a pose.

She was literally naked save for a mask, gloves, and boots. Now Roman knew who Kekko Kamen was, but even he was not going to say it. But he could confirm that the carpet did match the drapes.

And just like with Yang everyone stopped to marvel at Coco Adel in all her glory. Pictures were taken and would be enjoyed later on.

"Just…why?" Roman asked.

"Can I wear this condom?" A nude Jaune said holding a condom in his hand.

"Huh, I should have known Jaune Jaune was packing some serious heat in his pants." Nora said as she saw her leader's chode.

"Not instead of pants!" Roman roared. "Is this a prank?"

"No, sir. I need it for a turn on Blake." Jaune said pointing over to Blake and Sun.

"Can I wear Blake?" Sun said clearly having sex with Blake with reckless abandon.

"Damn, definitely can't do that at Beacon." Mercury said as he watched Blake get slammed harder than some lazy basketball analogy.

"Damn shame." Nora responded as she mused over all the times she just wanted Ren to take her during one of Port's lectures.

Both were naked with Sun having Blake over the desk holding her hair with one hand. Behind him was Yatsuhashi, Fox, Ilia and Neil in a line waiting for a turn on the school bike. How did Ilia get back there? Roman didn't know, but he finally snapped.

"Everyone's cumming in Blake!" Nora exclaimed.

"Don't you mean everyone's coming to Black?" Mercury asked

Nora smirked and leaned into his face. "I know what I said!"

Roman flipped Nikki's desk screaming, "ENOUGH! LISTEN YOU, YA LITTLE SHITS! I AM THE LAW AND I LAY IT OUT!"

Ace jutted his jaw out before doing a bad Sylvester Stallone impression. "I am the lauh!"

Mercury followed by doing a maniacal grin and called our. "LAUH!"

"No space helmets outside of science classes," He stated.

Space Teen shrank in his chair and took off his helmet. Fucking Ozpin, he thought.

"Pretty sure that's a fish bowl." Mercury said before getting a second look. "Definitely a fish bowl."

"No collarbone cardigans. No toeless boots." Roman said as Scarlet hid his shoes underneath his desk.

"Ok I'm pretty sure someone on Naruto has worn that exact combination before." Nora chimed in.

Ace looked at her before raising an eyebrow. "...How do you know what that is?"

"No belly skirts. No slutty superhero costumes!" Roman roared. "No, fishnet bodysuits!"

The emo goth, Adam exclaimed, "The fuck I do to you asshole?!", while throwing down his trading cards.

"...Taurus still owes me a new deck." Mercury muttered in mourning for his old trading cards that Adam destroyed because he was a sore loser.

"NO FUCKING AT YOUR DESK!" Roman said right as Sun climaxed right on Blake's back.

Mercury smirked. "She's probably gonna wear it like it's a badge of honor."

Yatushashi, Fox, Neil, and Ilia shuffled back to their desk disappointed as Sun confidently strode back to his desk.

"Should have Just gang banged her instead of taking turns."

Both men looked at Nora very surprised by what she'd just said.

"What? Classes aren't that long, a gang bang works better than taking turns." She said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"And finally, NO JEGGINGS!" Roman yelled close to breaking a blood vessel.

A chorus of "Yeah's", "Sure's", and "Whatever's" came from the class.

"Perfect. Now open up your textbooks to page sixteen," he said as he slid off his jacket, revealing a rather racy t-shirt of Kekko Kamen.

"Ah Kekko Kamen, good times." Ace said recalling his younger days.

"Huh, now that should be allowed to be someone's uniform." Mercury chuckled this time.

The class's outraged noises were even louder than their complaints.

"No, no, no, I am an adult, I can wear this shirt, I have earned this right!" Roman said defiantly.

"You're a hippocrite!" Nora exclaimed before throwing a pancake at the screen.

Teaching really was a thankless job.

"Would you believe I originally wanted to be a history teacher?" Ace piped up.

Nora tilted her head. "Really? What made you never want to pursue it?"

Ace just stared blankly at her before giving her an answer, "The pay is shit, and the benefits suck."

"Well considering you have a space ship, and a harem I'd say you're doing better for yourself." Mercury said as Salem, dressed in an outfit so see through that calling it clothing would be laughable, had come in. Along with Salem followed a skimpily dressed Emerald and Yang, and Ren in a speedo that left little to the imagination.

"True." Ace said as Salem sat in his lap and ran her hands along him.

"Speaking of your harem, how did May take to her new eye, and apparently being your new personal assassin." Mercury asked, while Emerald and Yang both sat in his lap, while Nora was in Ren's.

In response the screen showed May Zedong, no longer wearing her beanie over her damaged eye that had been replaced with a cybernetic one, sniping a man with blue skin holding a small rally.

"Well, she's taking it well." Ace said as he crossed Darth Thanitos off his list of rivals. Salem just watched in amusement as another would be rival to her master destroyed. It truly does pay to be a dark lord.

(A/N: Not much words other than it was a laugh to read what Ace had for me. Maybe we'll trade again soon.)