A.N. Oh my god it's over 5k. Longest of any chapter to date for this story but totally worth it for Sirin. Here's to hoping you all enjoyed it. Special thanks to Jingwei, my buddy Sub, and Brian among a few others for Beta reading and helping me revise and refine this baby. Now enjoy and give me reviews for the queen lol.
"Of all the moronic things to say, that's what you go with," Thunder growled at the other Herrscher. She had just managed to get a somewhat normal conversation going with Sirin; did Void really think it necessary to drop that kind of bombshell on the traumatized girl?
"I'm being upfront," Void snapped at the 3rd Herrscher. "I have no reason to lie and be subtle with her. After all, I know better than anyone how much she hates liars," She grimaced as she turned to the wide-eyed little girl.
Sirin stared at the white-haired Herrscher in a mix of worry and confusion at her claim, unknowingly stepping back. It didn't make sense, how could the woman in front of her be Herrscher of Void, when she is the one that holds that title? "That's not possible," Sirin muttered.
"Believe me," Void mused. "It is," She chuckled before turning to Thunder. "Why don't you go and make sure the others are doing alright, and prepare them for our…final discussion," Void suggested.
"Hah, fine by me," Thunder noted as she walked past Void; a portal opening for her to exit the space. Before she left though, she paused near Void. "You better not ruin all the progress I made," Thunder whispered threateningly in Void's ear, before walking to the portal. "I'll see you around Sirin." Thunder waved as she stepped through.
Sirin didn't pay any heed to Mei's words, however, as her attention laid entirely on this white-haired woman. This "revelation" irked her far more than she let on. The Herrscher of the Void was her title, a reminder of the pain and suffering she had endured. It felt utterly wrong; no…it is complete blasphemy that another being would dare walk this face of the Earth bearing her title. Her pain. Her legacy. She almost couldn't hold in the seething rage building up inside her.
Who do you think you are?
Sirin thought as she glared at the older girl, her fist clenched. The other Herrscher merely cast a glance, her own golden eyes meeting Sirin's. The white-haired girl merely continued to stare at her for a moment before letting out a sigh and turning her head.
Void paced around the platform slowly. This was their first real conversation, yet it already seems like the girl's impression of her is becoming worse by the second. She had thought of many things to say to the girl, who she was and where she came from, what she has been through, and the stories that she could tell, letting the scenario play out in her head. She thought that was enough to prepare her.
So when she finally got to meet Sirin, she felt ready. But she heavily underestimated the sheer difference between her fantasy and real life. Now facing the little girl, she could only keep her mouth shut, unable to find proper words to her feelings.
The silence between the two was unnerving. The only sound that could be heard in the realm was Void's steps as she wandered around aimlessly. Eventually, the unending null finally got to one of them, as Sirin's voice resounded.
"Will you hurry up and say something?" She growled at the Herrscher. There may have been a large difference in power, but Sirin wasn't going to let that stop her anger. Her tone seems to have caught onto Void, as the girl focused on her.
"What do you want me to say?" Void questioned, her tone coming out snarkier than she intended.
"Huh?" Sirin paused, her mouth agape a little. She hadn't expected that kind of response. "Well, um…who are you exactly?"
"Didn't I just answer that when I introduced myself?" The girl said in as neutral a tone as possible. She didn't show any hint of malice or anger in her words, yet Sirin could feel she was hiding something.
"I…I don't believe you were speaking the truth." Sirin responded as she tried to retain her calm facade. She was trying to contain her emotions. Mei had made it clear that the gap in their power was massive; Sirin wasn't going to make the same mistake again and immediately act on impulse, not with this Herrscher at least.
"How can there be two of us existing at the same time? Something like that shouldn't even be possible." Sirin muttered.
"Heh." The older girl chuckled lightly. Sirin's blood ran cold as she heard the laughter. The laughter wasn't of malice, but just the fact that it came from her voice put her on edge. When she had met God, it had never spoken to her directly, instead choosing to take her form. Now she was face to face with a being who shared a different set of traits with her.
"What's so funny?" She demanded the girl.
"Forgive me," Void answered. "But I think the emptiness of this space is starting to get to me," She added. Whether Sirin had realized it or not, she had given Void an answer to her problem. "Why don't we go for a walk?" Void said as she opened a portal behind her.
She held out a hand for Sirin. Sirin stared at it before reaching out and hitting it to the side. Void sighed at the response. "So that's how it's going to be…" She mused, a smirk forming on her face as she recalled her own little therapy session with the Sirin vision in her mind.
"Very well," Void spoke as she grabbed Sirin by the collar and then tossed her into the portal. "Let's take a trip down memory lane then," She muttered as she jumped in behind her predecessor.
"It's alright Bella," Teri comforted as the dragoness rested on her lap. If you had told her she would be comforting a judgment class Honkai beast on her lap like a lost child a few years ago, Teri would have called you insane. Now it almost seemed natural for her.
The wind picked up slightly as space distorted across the room. A black portal opened and from within it came Thunder. The Herrscher's body was a mess. Teri could make out various cauterized words on her body as well as various patches of ice. "Are you alright?" She voiced concern.
"Never been better," Thunder answered absentmindedly as she glanced around. Teri questioned if she was sure, but Mei didn't seem the slightest bit concerned with her injuries so she decided against it. "Where are the others?" She questioned upon noticing a lack of Kaslanas and Doctors.
"Bella…. had an episode," Teri explained as she recalled what had happened after Void and Thunder left. "She managed to cry herself to sleep surprisingly, but Kiana got covered in dragon mucus in the process. After that, Cecilia and Siegfied took Kiana to take a bath and get cleaned up."
"Yeah, dragon fluids are always difficult to wash out," Mei deadpanned. She recalled the many times Kurikara had bled all over her in fights, thankfully it was always unnoticeable thanks to her red and black armor, most of the time. Teri should probably question the dragon fluids comment more, but she decided to put it aside. It's not the weirdest thing she had heard these days.
"So uh…how was the meeting with Sirin?" Teri questioned. She would have liked to assume that Mei wasn't a masochist and had not inflicted those injuries on herself. That being said considering Sirin had been weakened, Teri would have assumed Mei would have returned unscathed but it looks like that wasn't the case.
"We had a snowball fight," Mei answered.
"A… snowball fight?" Teri repeated, confusion spreading across her face.
"Yes, I won if you were curious," Mei answered. She had left out the part about almost causing Sirin a panic attack. Hopefully, Mei could make amends for that later. "After that, we talked a bit before Void interrupted." She grumbled. "I hope she's not doing anything stupid with the kid." Mei thought. "I suppose we are making progress at least."
"That's good," Teri noted. Once Sirin calmed downed and they talked everything out they could finally put this whole thing behind them and get out of this bunker. While the stay was nice, she couldn't help but worry about how her grandfather and Amber were doing without her. She knew what kind of person her grandpa Otto was like, and so she would prefer to keep them away from his influence.
"Yes, it is," Mei agreed. "It means we can finally tell you all everything." She admitted. "Which reminds me, everyone should gather together to greet those two once they return."
"Check the labs for the scientists," Teri noted. "Cecilia and the rest should be coming back soon." She added.
"Noted," Thunder said as she stepped out leaving Teri to her own thoughts.
"Just a little longer…" She thought her mind running a million miles an hour. A little longer to know what happened to everyone. She should be excited. She would get answers to help her, and the others fight the Honkai. This was a good thing; they will be able to fight back. This will change everything for them. So why is it that she feels so terrified at the prospect?
Sixteen years was a long time, how many people would she meet and lose in that space. She wanted to help in building St. Freya, a school for future Valks. How many students would she have trained and how many would die in the future? Even if it never happened, it would forever become a fear that would hide in the back of her mind.
"At least…I hope the girls from Babylon are doing better." Teri hoped.
A snowstorm surrounded the two Herrshers, the raging wind obscuring Sirin's view. They were in a middle of a raging storm, something she found to be greatly irritating. What was worse than the freezing cold, that threatened to crystalize her skin and flesh, was the familiar sight laid before her.
Sirin scowled as she gazed up at the tower before her. Despite the limited vision, that infernal building stood visible to her eyes, higher than anything she had ever seen, almost as if it was mocking her. She regrets not blowing this place up when she had the chance.
"Do you know the story of the tower?" Void suddenly questioned Sirin, snapping her back to their current situation. Sirin shot her a questioning look wondering what the hell the Herrscher was talking about. Of course, she knew the purpose of the blasted tower. It was meant to exploit kidnapped children for the greater good of humanity.
The Herrscher seemed to realize her thoughts though. "I mean the Legend of the original tower of Babylon?" Void corrected, to which Sirin tilted her head. The Original Tower of Babylon, this wasn't the first?
The elder girl's eyes were oddly blank, bearing no sort of emotions as she stared at the looming tower. Sirin pondered her question for a bit, recollecting her memories. Though she did not need to give an answer, as the elder girl softly spoke.
"It was said that humanity tried to build the tower to reach the Heavens above, but God saw it as blasphemous and cursed the people with different languages. The discord it caused, lead to them arguing amongst themselves and with them divided. You can guess what happened next." Void explained. "In a sense, it's even in the name. Babylon, Babble on."
"Humans had grown too arrogant. They thought themselves high and mighty but were quickly put down by those who far exceeded them. To name a building after that legend…it seems that the humans set themselves up for failure from the very beginning." She chuckled, though it sounded more like a distant whistle in this blazing storm.
"They were deluded fools, who thought highly of themselves. Rotten insects that didn't know their place, plaguing the world." Sirin said.
"They are selfish creatures who cared for no one but themselves."
A memory surged back into her mind, one where two scientists stood in her way as she was unleashing her powers. One of them ran first, not caring about their dear friend that they left behind. Sirin killed the two of them the same, though the satisfaction of ending the one who left his partner behind was oddly more intoxicating.
"They sought to build a better world, atop the blood and tears of so many before them." Void lamented. "They always said, 'You should be thankful to sacrifice yourself for the greater good of the world.' as they injected others with the Honkai. If they truly cared for humanity, they would have never subjected others to such a fate. They would have done it to themselves."
Albedo and Tesla came to her mind as she spoke those words. Void recalled the Alchemist she had met in another time. He sought to cure the people of the Honkai just the same. She had hated him first purely because of occupation, but with time he proved himself far better than those rotten insects in Babylon. If only he hadn't died from his own Honkai corruption.
"Why did you bring me here?" Finally having enough, Sirin asked the main question.
"I didn't bring you here to visit the tower if that's what you think." Void noted as she turned to Sirin. The tower had enough memories for more than two lifetimes.
"Though I understand why you would think that. It's the Herrscher of the Void's birthplace." She informed as she walked to the side. "A place like that can leave a very big impression on the mind." She added. "However, my interest lies…. over there." Void pointed.
Sirin followed the gaze of the Herrscher to a few small figures in the distance. She squinted her eyes trying to make sense of them but was interrupted when a portal suddenly opened before her.
"Easy now," The elder Herrscher said as she ushered her into the portal.
The two walked through the portal and found themselves in a desolated village. A ghost town that was heavily buried within the snow. Sirin gasped as she glanced around the town. It was starting to come back to her now. The snow receded within her vision as the buildings repaired themselves. Phantoms of people began walking around the streets once more.
"This is…" Sirin trailed off.
"Home." Void finished.
They were in Sirin's home village. A place that existed within her own mind as well but had been reduced to nothing more than a passing glance from Sirin's past. Void could only describe it as a scattered memory or a broken dream.
"This is where you grew up." Void stated as they began walking through the town.
"I had forgotten what it looked like," Sirin admitted. As they passed the broken houses as memories of what once passed coursed through her mind. She wasn't entirely sure if all of them were accurate, but she wasn't bothered by it.
"I don't blame you. When one is consumed by all that anger, it becomes hard to recall anything else." She confessed as she turned around and saw the Tower of Babylon in the distance. This small desolate village remained resting in the shadow of the tall cold tower.
"Yet even then, fragments remain of what once was." Void then walked towards a small house.
The name of the residence was lost to time but both Herrschers knew who this house belonged to. Strange as it may have been, they entered through the door instead of the gaping holes left in the wall, neither saying a word as they walked into the small cottage. To their surprise, the interior had stayed surprisingly intact, as if it had waited for their arrival.
"Why do you know of this place?" Sirin questioned cautiously as she turned to face the Herrscher. No one other than her should know about this. She doubted any of the worms would have cared.
"I once found myself wandering here once upon a time." Void said. "I was on the run, injured, and somewhat paranoid at the time. Yet when I came here, I felt safe."
"I suppose the reason for that, was because it felt like home to me. I can imagine how nice it would be to relax by the warm fire, cuddling mom as we snuggled together." Void continued; a soft smile appeared on her lips. This was one of the few memories untainted by the horrors that Sirin once endured, and she was thankful for that.
She noticed that Sirin thought the same, as the girl's eyes began to turn misty.
"...It was home." The girl muttered, wiping away the forming tears.
There was silence once more as Sirin continued to walk around the house. Void decided to leave the girl to her own devices, as she too started to explore the house.
Her memories scattered, and different moments of her two lives began to overlap. It wasn't so strange, however, as the similarities between them were startling. She only wondered if it was just sheer coincidence, or perhaps it was something more. Sirin and her mother lived in a cabin in a snowy region, as did Siegfied and K423. Yet despite being the same person, Sirin felt more connected to this place than Void ever could. She can sense the longing and nostalgia, but she can never recall why that is. Her memories were nothing more than mere feelings, what she once felt residing in this place.
"How many good memories had been lost between Sirin and me?" Void wondered. Cecilia had managed to reach the child that had been lost in hatred and sorrow. If she hadn't, Void knew that her entire being would have been nothing more than pain and rage.
Glancing over to the kitchen, she noticed Sirin standing near a counter, her face expressing fondness. She imagined what there was that brought such a feeling towards the girl, yet imagining was all she could do. Perhaps like her own memories of making pizza toast with Siegfied, Sirin would have cooked with her mother.
Once done, Sirin began to walk up the second floor. The stairs creaked ever so slightly as she ascended, reflecting the decay of the ruined house. She could simply use her abilities to float up, but she felt as though that would be insulting this place. It wasn't right to do such a thing here. Her powers did not belong in this house.
She walked through the hall listening to nothing but her own steps as she approached a door, slowly grabbing the knob and turning it. The door creaked open slowly as she entered the familiar room.
Her room.
It was a very plain-looking bedroom, with nothing but a bed, a desk, and a closet, all placed exactly how she remembers.
She hesitated for a second, before taking in a breath, and slowly walking into the room. Feeling the nostalgia building up inside of her, she silently thanked the house for being able to preserve this room for so long.
"Squeak!"
Sirin stopped, staring down at the floor, finding a plushie beneath her foot. As she reached down she could make out the vague details of a blue-eyed white dragon looking back at her.
"Bella…"
She whispered as she lightly dusted the toy before hugging it. It wasn't the original name; she had forgotten what the toy's name was. All she could remember of it was the happiness she felt as she received it from her mother. It was the physical proof of her mother's love for her, and it was the last thing she had ever received from her.
With the toy still in hand, she walked back out of her room, finding the Herrscher waiting for her in the hall, leaning against a wall. The Herrscher's golden eyes met her own, yet no words were spoken, but it didn't matter. The two seemingly already knew what the other is thinking, almost instinctively.
The white-haired girl turned her attention from Sirin and then gazed at one last door in the room, to which the girl nodded.
No words needed to be said about whose door that was. The wooden structure was left ajar; the slightest breeze and it would open for them. Sirin stared at it, a whirlpool of emotions spiraling within her. She could feel a heavy pressure begin to form as she stared at the door. Taking in deliberate and deep breaths, she hadn't noticed she was already in front of it.
She reached for its knob, her hands moving slower than ever, trembling as she got closer. Eventually, they touched the metal handle and for the first time, Sirin felt coldness run through her arm as she held on. As a Herrscher, she had flown into space on her dragon and never felt bothered about the atmosphere there. Why now could a simple doorknob make her shiver to her core?
Suddenly warmth graced her fingers, drawing her attention from the door. The young girl glanced down noticing the black-gloved hand of the Herrscher on top of her own. She looked at the girl to the side of her, an expression present on the girl's face, one she could not quite place her hands on.
It was a look of longing for something, a deep sadness perpetuated through her yellow eyes. Yet there was also a look of acceptance, comforting and soothing to anyone that witnessed it. It was a look that told more than any words could ever describe, a look that only one who has felt the same as her could have. Had the Herrscher experienced what she had experienced? Had seen what she had seen, and most of all... was able to accept all of that, and continued moving on.
Sirin gazed deeply at Void, unable to say anything. For some reason, she didn't want this moment to end.
"That's not where she sleeps." The woman finally broke the silence, as Sirin silently nodded to her words. Instinctively, they both knew what these words meant, as Sirin didn't question the meaning behind them. Sirin and the Herrscher…closed the door. Neither of them needed to see the empty room behind it.
It was here that she felt something. Something deep inside of her, resonated through her body. What power was once locked away was now released as she proceeded to form a portal behind them. Neither said a word as they walked through the portal.
The two then arrived at a lonely hill away from town. Sirin glanced around noticing how bare and lifeless the place looked; the tree in front of her was as devoid of life as the world around her.
Sirin recognized this place. Despite everything, all the horrors, all the experiments, all the pain and agony she had to endure, this place was etched into her very soul.
She approached the tree with heavy footsteps, the snow crunching beneath her feet. She leaned forward resting her head against the tree, feeling the searing cold enveloping her, and yet, it did not bother her.
She closes her eyes, and her lips silently whimpered.
"How could I forget to visit…"
Once she had been freed from the labs, she had journeyed everywhere she could go, bringing destruction and carnage through her wake. She was so dead set in trying to do that that she forgot about this place. Or perhaps, she wanted to forget it. She wanted to bury the pain away, to hide away her weakness and vulnerability, to deny who she once was.
A mother's child.
"A lot happened to you." Void softly muttered.
"…I nearly lost her again." Sirin voiced. She had forgotten about her all in the name of vengeance and justice. She denied herself the chance to meet her again, to tell her the words that she wants to say. To say to her things, she so desperately wished she could still say.
To say that she loved her, more than anything in this world.
She had lost her to sickness. She would not lose her time as well.
Void remained silent, gazing at the tree in front of her. She wanted to comfort the girl, yet she couldn't. For her memories of this place did not exist.
She only had the vaguest idea of where Sirin's mother was or even who she was, and it took some time of searching before she found it. From what she could see, the remnant of what was once a lively forest could be felt.
The flower fields were now frozen and withered. The tall trees situated around the area, were now devoid of any leaves, leaving only husks left. The once engraved road to this grave has long since eroded away, leaving only traces of it.
All of it was lost due to time, and there was nothing she could do. She wanted to understand how this must feel. The emptiness and cruelness that the world mercilessly evicted towards the dead, to defile those precious to someone like they were nothing.
But she couldn't. She had accepted that, it wasn't something that bothered her anymore. She may never be able to understand her other self's pain, but she didn't need to. What Sirin needed isn't meaningless comfort and soothing words. What she needs is…
"But you didn't." Void uttered, catching the girl's attention. "Sirin, you didn't forget."
"…What?" Sirin turned to her, tear marks covering her cheeks. Void kneeled towards her, as she strengthens her voice.
"You still remember. This place, that house, her. All of it, you still remembered. You never once forgot it, even when you were blinded by your pain and thirst for revenge. It was just buried So don't feel that you failed her. Don't think that you have disappointed her, it wouldn't be what she had wanted."
Remember those memories. Keep it deep inside of you and never ever let go. Accept them as fleeting past, moments that is frozen in a single moment. Embrace it all, and then keep moving forward.
"Honour her memories not by reliving and regretting the past. Push forward, keep moving towards another day. If you remember her and the happiness she wanted for you, then she'll live in peace forever." Void told Sirin.
"…Why are you doing this?" Sirin muttered.
"Who…are you?"
"I already told you, didn't I?" Void remarked, before giving a gentle smile. She will be there for Sirin, for as long as she needed her.
"I am the Herrscher of the Void, I am you." She answered.
"Me?" Sirin questioned. "What do you mean you're me?" That didn't make sense to her. Sirin was Sirin so how could this Herrscher be Sirin as well?
"I'm you, from the future." Void explained. "Nearly two decades into the future to be precise." She added. "That's how I know about all of this," she told the younger girl as she gestured to everything around them.
"That's not possible," Sirin denied. How could she believe that this girl was her future self? Apart from the eyes, they looked nothing alike. They did sound alike. No, that was just a trick, it had to be. Then again they had a core that was almost identical. Being from the future would explain the dual cores.
"I can see this is a lot for you to take in," Void told the younger girl. "It is the truth though." She assured. "If I wanted to lie, I wouldn't have told you something so outrageous," She stated.
"I mean it makes sense and it feels logically right." Sirin stuttered. "But how and why?" She questioned. If she could have time-traveled to any point in time, why here. She could have gone back before the scientists came and stopped them. Sirin felt enraged that it was yet another person who had been selective of who they helped and was ready to give the Herrscher a piece of mind.
Until she saw the tired expression on her future self's face. The older Herrscher had kept a neutral or somewhat light-hearted expression for most of the trip. Now though, she looked tired, mentally drained. Sirin could see years of exhaustion on her face. It was as though finally telling the truth had relieved her of a burden and now her body was ready to relax.
"That's a long story." Void sighed. "One I have no intention of repeating. If you're willing to get along with a few other humans, I'll tell you everything I can." Void confessed.
"Which humans?" Sirin questioned cautiously. Void smiled before listing them off. Cecilia, the woman who would be Sirin's adopted mother if she let her. Kiana, their adorable little sister. Teri, the shrimp of an aunt, who had wanted to help her in the first place. Dr. Tesla and Dr. Einstein, the humans who had taken care of them all while they were recovering. Finally, there was Siegfied, the man who Void assured would be their loving father.
"I know better than anyone how much pain you've suffered in the past." Void confessed to Sirin. "All the trauma you've felt, I've lived with it. It stayed with me more than any injury ever inflicted." Void told her. "I'm not asking you to forget it, not now, not ever. I'm just asking for you to be willing to let it go if only for a moment."
"Whether you let it go entirely after that is up to you, but I assure you that there is so much waiting for you if you do." Void told her.
"Can you really promise me that?" Sirin questioned. Could they really promise everything will be alright? "Can you promise that if I do choose to trust them, they won't lie or betray me?"
"I will only promise that if you agree to trust them Sirin. It's a two-way deal. They need to know they can trust you as much as you trust them. That you won't betray them as well." Void warned. "That's how it goes. Nothing more and nothing less."
"Alright." Sirin agreed. "I'll hold you to that."
"I hold myself to that," Void smirked. "Now, we just have two more things to do before we return to your new home." Void informed her as she turned to glance at the tower. "Tell me, have you ever seen a meteor crash?" Void questioned.
"No,"
"Would you like to?" Void questioned as she folded her arms. A wise man once taught her about Order, Osmanthus wine, and many other things. Void fully intended to teach Sirin the same minus the wine of course.