Raven's Return
Chapter three: Memories.
...
When morning came around, Raven found herself moving slowly. Everything felt so new to her. And while instinctually she wanted to fall back in her past morning routine, the routine suddenly felt off putting and unnecessary to her. But without that routine she wasn't sure what to do with herself.
She found herself staring at her closet for an exciting amount of time. She remembered always wearing her uniform, even when the others had dawned their civilian clothes.
But now, as she held up the black leotard and blue boots, it felt like they belonged to someone else.
She let out a heavy sigh. This was what the old Raven wore.
She slowly put the uniform back before turning to her dresser. She remembered having a few civilian clothes, and she was pleased to discover they were still there, untouched in the drawers.
The old Raven hardly ever wore anything casual, and she liked the idea of wearing them just to be different from her.
After She got dressed, she roamed the halls of the tower. Bits and pieces of her past life slowly came back to her with every familiar object, or recognizable room.
She stared at the remodeled kitchen, remembering all the times her and her friends came together and enjoyed a meal. She recalled the lighthearted arguing that was had regarding what ingredients to use.
Victor always established a high protein diet. While Garfield insisted on a less carnivorous meal. And Kori would chime in with an outlandish suggestion, combining two completely different foods altogether.
Raven opened the cupboards, pleased to see her tea mugs were in the same spot as before. She prepared herself a cup of tea before sitting down at the kitchen island as the elevator door suddenly opened with a quiet swish.
Kori walked into the room, her face immediately lighting up as she saw Raven. "Raven!" She said excitedly.
"Morning, Kori." Raven addressed as Kori couldn't help but run up to her and hug her tightly. But then her eyes widened as she quickly pulled herself away.
"Sorry, I forgot you don't like to be embraced." She sheepishly apologized.
Raven smiled at her. "It's alright Kori, I don't mind."
Kori smiled as she sat down on the stool beside her. "I'm sorry Richard and I couldn't help with showing you around last night. I hope you are settling in well?"
Raven couldn't help but glanced down at her mug. "There's still a lot I need to get used to."
Kori nodded her head. "Understandable. A lot has changed since you've been gone. But I hope despite the alterations done to the tower, you can still find it homey." She said hopefully.
"It's not just the tower that's different." Raven began. "You guys have changed a lot as well."
"I guess that's true." Kori acknowledged.
"I can overlook the new uniforms. But your faces are going to take some getting used to."
Kori looked at her curiously. "Are we really that different?" She asked.
"Yes and no." Raven responded. "When I look at you, I still see her friend, Starfire. The beautiful, joyful, happy girl. That hasn't changed. But your face looks so much more mature, womanlier. And your voice, and the way you talk, is more confident."
Kori furrowed her brow as she looked at her confused. "Raven, you said her friend?"
"I meant mine, of course." She quickly corrected. "And you aren't the only one who's changed. Victor's robotic alterations are slimmer and more advanced. And of course, Richard having his Nightwing transition has thrown me off. And now Garfield's taller than me."
"You're overwhelmed." Kori noticed.
Raven gripped her tea mug as she let out a held in breath. "It's just a lot to take in. And I keep getting flooded with her- my memories."
Kori quickly leaned forward, wrapping her arms around her, hugging her again. "Raven, this is all going to take time to adjust. You were brought back to life, and that isn't something you can just walk off."
Raven sighed again as she wrapped her arms around her and hugged Kori back. And she was forced to agree. Kori was right. She needed to give herself more time to adjust to this life. Her friends are two years older than when she last saw them. They lived their lives and grew up, while she stayed sixteen.
...
By the late afternoon, Raven found herself walking around the tower again, taking it all in.
In the past her friends would have bombarded her with constant attention and possibly a welcome home celebration. And while she would appreciate the thought, it was always a little too much attention for her taste.
But her friends had really matured over the two years she was gone and were respectively giving her the time and space she needed to adjust.
Kori had suggested she venture into their bedrooms to see how they have changed over the years. Raven was against this at first, being that it seemed like an invasion of privacy. But after the others gave permission, and even encouraged the act, she found herself realizing it might be helpful to her.
She went to Victor's room first. Noticing that there wasn't much difference between this room and his old one.
The layout still reminded her of a garage. There were lots of computers and high-tech machinery around the room. Tools hung in an orderly fashion on the wall. And there was a large, slanted platform he used as a bed.
But there was something in particular that caught her eye on the wall. Framed pictures of Victor before his accident. Back when he was a football star.
Raven couldn't remember if these pictures had always been there, or if they were something new after the remodel.
She stared closely at the photographs, at the man free from his cybernetic body. She wondered if he had the same misgivings as she did. If he ever felt like a different person, different from the man that was once an athlete.
Next, she went to Kori's room.
The colors were still vibrant, with bright pinks and purples, but there was a clear difference between the way she used to keep her room.
Before the remodel, it felt very much like a stereotypical teenage girl's bedroom. With posters of celebrities, stuffed animals, and beauty products.
But despite there still being fragments of the old room with the occasional stuffed animal, or eye shadow pallet, it was obvious she had changed.
Kori had matured, and her room showed it.
Raven remembered Kori often entertaining herself with messy craft projects that she read about in Young Adult magazines.
Her bedroom often had corners where the alien had attempted in making large colleges with stickers and glitter. Or spots with scattered beads from making friendship bracelets, or even clippings of fabric from attempting to sew a dress.
But now the room was clear, lacking any creative projects. It was so spotless in fact, that Raven almost questioned if Kori even lived in the room. The bed looked almost untouched, the laundry hamper was empty, and there were hardly any clothes in the closet.
But then things started to make sense when she ventured to Richard's room.
She expected their leader's room to be spotless, for that's what it looked like in the past. So, when she entered the room and saw colorful laundry in the hamper, and beauty products on the dresser, she connected the dots.
They weren't adolescent teenagers anymore. Richard was 18 and Kori was 17. And them sharing a room together, honestly wasn't that surprising.
Lastly, Raven went to Garfield's room.
She was genuinely surprised by the changes. She remembered his room being messy and cluttered with an odd smell in the air. Despite the room not being the cleanest, especially compared to the others, she had to admit it was somewhat tidy
He still had toys, though they were displayed on the shelf, untouched. His hamper might have been overflowing, but there weren't any clothes on the floor. And most noticeably, there was no offensive smell in the air.
Everyone had changed. And while Raven knew it was going to take some getting used to, she was glad to know she wasn't the only one who was different.
After feeling like she had invaded their privacy enough, Raven ventured down to the lower floors of the Tower.
She went to the training room, taking in the new machinery. Gone were the simple treadmills and bikes. Now they had fancy holographic fighting simulations. And she had to admit she wasn't looking forward to learning the new technology.
She went down another floor and found herself in the garage. The garage would normally never catch Raven's interest, but the person in the garage on the other hand...
Raven slowly walked up to the man who leaned over the hood of the car, as he tweaked the engine.
She wanted to say something to him, but found herself unable to know where to begin with the subject.
"Hey, Rae." Victor began as he straightened himself and turned to face her.
"Hi." She spoke.
He slowly whipped the sweat from his brow as he smiled down at her. "How are you doing?" He asked.
Raven found herself slowly grabbing her arm, struggling to answer the question. "Overwhelmed." She answered simply.
"I imagine you are." He said, leaning himself on the hood. "Do you have any questions? You know any of us would be happy to answer them." He said, before taking a drink from his bottle of water.
Raven honestly didn't know where to begin.
"Are Richard and Kori sleeping together?" She suddenly asked. And she immediately realized it was too personal of a question as she watched Victor abruptly spit up his water.
He awkwardly cleared his throat. "Yeah, um... they have been." He answered awkwardly.
"Last I remember they had barely confessed their feelings for one another. And now they are sharing a room."
"They did move kind of fast." He admitted with a by carless shrug. "But you had a lot to do with that."
"Me?" She questioned.
"Well yea. After what happened, we were all very upset." He explained. "I know me, and Gar sought comfort in our hobbies. I started remodeling cars, and he started collecting nerdy superhero junk. But Kori and Dick found comfort in each other."
"Oh." She said in surprised, shocked she played such a big part in their relationship. "Well, I guess I'm happy for them."
"Raven, I don't want you thinking that we have moved on." He said, looking at her directly. "Understand that your death really affected us. We were lost in mourning for months. Struggling to keep going with our lives."
She nodded her head. "I know. I can sense it. I feel the loss you all feel. And I feel the love you all share. And I also feel the confusion and doubt you all have when you look at me."
"The confusion and doubt?" He repeated.
"You're not sure if I'm really her, the Raven you lost."
"Raven, we know that it's really you." He quickly defended, looking at her directly.
"You want to believe it's me. You want to believe I'm her." She corrected.
He looked at her confused. "Aren't you?"
"Is Victor Stone the Cyborg and Victor Stone the athlete two different people?" She suddenly asked.
Victor stared at her for a moment, unable to answer the question.
"When you had your accident, did you question whether you were still the same person?" She continued. "You had all the same memories. But when you looked in the mirror, you didn't see the same person, did you?"
He stared at her for a moment before answering. "No."
"Well, Victor. That's how I feel."
...
After talking to Victor, Raven ventured father, to the lower level of the tower. The floor less traveled, the tower's memorial center.
Lined up against the wall were dimly lit shadow boxes with holographic images of former Titans that had lost their lives.
There were lots of recognizable faces, each one bringing back a painful memory of their demise. She saw Jericho, Kole, Aqua Girl, Wonder Girl, Terra, Hawk, Dove, and then the newest memorial to the room, herself.
Raven stared intently at the hologram, questioning the person before her. Yes, they had the same name, same features, same voice, same memories. Yet they were two completely different people.
She could remember all her life decisions, and why she made them. She remembered being distant to the people she cared most for, her friends. And making sure she kept them at arm's length.
She had known her destiny from the beginning, and she made sure that she didn't get too close to anyone for that reason.
But now that she has seen the pain her friends felt after her death, she wished they had protected themselves from caring for her.
But they didn't. They didn't keep her at arm's length, like she did to them. They had felt all their emotions, the thing she now regretted not doing.
Raven stared at her hologram, the detached statue before her.
She knew why she had done what she did in the past. But that didn't mean she didn't regret it now.
"I'm not the same as her." She spoke aloud, talking to the person who had entered the room. "I know it sounds strange, but we are two different people."
She waited for his natural detective skills to start probing and questioning her. She waited for his suspicious persona to start interrogating her, questioning her morality.
But he didn't do any of those things. Instead, Nightwing nodded his head in understanding.
"Well then, maybe this is your chance to start over." He told her and she turned to look at him, surprised at the suggestion. "Write your own story, different from hers." He said, glancing at the hologram.
...