A/N: It's been a year since I started this and it feels like time to wrap it up. Thanks for reading!
One of the things she was most excited about was that Judith would be in town for the wedding episode. Not only had she missed working with her, but she had missed the friendship. Judith was just a few years older than her and so it was nice having someone close in age on the show. When Tandy had been written out, she'd been disappointed. She'd come back for a few episodes and it was always a treat when she did. They were sharing a dressing room and when she arrived at the venue where they'd be filming the wedding, she was told Judith was already there.
When she opened the door, Judith jumped up from the chair she was sitting in, a big smile on her face. The two of them hugged each other and then sat together on the small loveseat that was in the room. "I'm so glad you're here," she said, a big smile across her face.
"Oh, me too," Judith said. "But then Tandy would have to be at Rayna's wedding." She looked around. "This place is nice. And the area where the wedding is looks beautiful."
"It does, doesn't it? It's just too bad the weather is so shitty." It was raining that day and was forecast to rain off and on through the week. Not the ideal weather for what had been planned. Hopefully there would be enough dry time to film anything that was taking place outdoors.
"Well, the way I look at it, we don't have to go out in it, so I don't really care what it does."
She laughed. "That's true."
Judith gave her a look. "So. You and Chip? A thing?"
It wasn't that she didn't think it would come up, but she was surprised it happened right away. She and Chip would be making their first true public appearance together at the Artist of the Year event the next night, but they had been seen around town. One of the things she appreciated about Nashville was that celebrities were more of a fact of life than in other places and therefore there wasn't as much of an issue with fans approaching constantly or paparazzi everywhere. There had been a picture on social media of the two of them at Radnor Lake with Yoby and they were holding hands. So the word was out, but neither of them was commenting on it. "Well, um, yeah, we are."
"For how long?"
"Well, his divorce was just final back in late summer, early fall." A true statement, but she didn't want to go into all the backstory.
Judith smiled knowingly. She felt sure her friend didn't believe that's when things started, but she also knew Judith wouldn't say a word. "You two always did seem pretty close, right from the beginning. I guess it's not surprising it would develop into something else." She smiled. "You happy?"
She smiled and nodded. "I am. It's felt really natural, I guess, and Yoby loves him, so that part is good."
Judith looked around then. "Where is Mr. Yobes?"
"He's in pre-school, so his nanny will pick him up and take him home."
"I can't believe he's in pre-school."
"I know! He'll be 5 in a month. He's growing up so fast."
Judith reached out and grabbed her hand. "I'm glad you've found someone who makes you happy." She smiled. "The two of you always had chemistry onscreen so I guess it's not surprising that you would in real life. You don't have to confirm this, but I'm guessing the two of you knew you had feelings for each other before it was official. There's no judgement from me on that. We love who we love. Sometimes it takes us in crazy directions and it comes when we're not planning for it."
She felt a little emotional, but she didn't want to ruin her makeup so she breathed in deeply and smiled. "Thanks, Jude. I appreciate it. And you're right – we love who we love."
They continued to catch up on everything until someone came to get them for hair and makeup. The first scene they would shoot would be Rayna and Deacon's vows and she was looking forward to getting to put on the dress.
She was standing in front of the mirror in wardrobe. Her hair and makeup were done and now the dress had been put on her. She wasn't crazy about how they'd done her hair, but she decided it wasn't a fight she wanted to have. It was a pretty easy style to replicate when they got to some of the other scenes, so she let it go. Judith walked into the room, in her dress.
"Oh god, Connie, you look gorgeous," she said.
She smiled into the mirror, smoothing her hands down the length of the dress. "It is beautiful, isn't it?"
Judith walked up and stood next to her. "Well, yes, but you look just stunning in it."
"Thanks." She turned to look at Judith. "I've been able to see it as they were making it and got to weigh in a little bit on it, but really, Susie did an amazing job. There's parts of it that look like a dress Rayna would have worn had she married Deacon years earlier, I think. But now it's kind of all grown up for the woman Rayna is now. Still the dress she would have wanted to wear to her wedding."
Judith nodded. "I agree." She reached out and touched the lace, then smiled. "Well, I need to go take my place amongst the wedding guests." And then she was gone.
She knew she shouldn't touch her hair but she couldn't help it. She tried to just pat it, but she did find herself wanting to just pull out all the pins and contraptions that were holding it in place. She wanted to run her fingers through it, pulling down on the tight waves, letting it just cascade over her shoulders. Or have it styled in some sort of upsweep that looked romantic and that, she thought, would look better with the dress. She forced her hands to move down her abdomen and then her hips, turning one way and then the other, admiring the dress. She put one hand on her stomach where she could feel the butterflies. Then she took a deep breath to settle herself.
When they came to tell her they were ready to start, she followed the PA to the event space. Chip was already there and when he saw her, he looked a little stunned. She walked up to stand next to him and smiled. "Hey," she said.
"Wow," he whispered. "You look incredible." He still looked a little like he was in awe.
"So do you," she said. "Well, except for the fact that Deacon's scruff is gone." He rubbed one hand on his mostly bare cheek. "Why would they do that?"
He shrugged. "It's not completely gone," he said. Which was true, but they'd really shaved him close. "But it's his wedding day and I guess he wants to clean up."
She made a face. "I don't really like it." It reminded her how they'd done the same thing when he'd filmed some of the flashback scenes around the time that Deacon and Beverly were in Nashville originally. She hadn't liked it then either, although the truth was that it would grow back quickly. She reached up and rubbed her thumb against his jaw and sighed. "I guess it's the price we pay for getting these two hitched up." She smiled then and he laughed.
Thank god they didn't completely fuck this up.
It was the last day for filming at the venue. She was sitting in her chair in the main event space waiting for filming to start on the wedding reception scenes. They were using the same space that was used for the wedding, with all the chairs removed from the center. The windows had all been covered with blackout curtains to give the appearance that it was an evening reception. They would finish the day with the scene where Rayna and Deacon were leaving for their honeymoon. This was when it was convenient that it got dark in December around 5 PM so it wouldn't be a really late night, especially since it was Friday.
She looked down and smiled to herself as she smoothed the fabric of the wedding dress over her crossed legs. It was her last day to wear it, unless something was discovered during editing that needed to be reshot. She hoped that wouldn't be the case, as the hem of the dress, in particular, was showing the dirt of the previous 2 days. She wiggled her toes, glad she could wear flat shoes for these scenes, since the bottom of the dress wouldn't be visible. At the movement in the corner of her eye, she turned to see Chip joining her set side. He was no longer wearing the jacket and she thought he looked even more dreamy without it.
She reached over and put her hand on his forearm, squeezing it gently. "Hey," she said with a smile. It had long been common knowledge on set that the two of them were a couple, but neither of them made a big show of it. She, in particular, wasn't fond of overt displays like kissing or handholding in the workplace. They were fortunate that their characters were a romantic couple and it provided enough opportunity for romantic gestures and moments that they didn't need more.
He smirked. "Hey there, Mrs. Claybourne," he responded.
She laughed. It was a callback to one of their lines that day. "Only in private," she said, with a grin.
"I hope we don't have another late night," he said.
She shook her head. It was a Friday and, because he didn't have his kids that weekend, they would be spending the weekend together. She was looking forward to it. They'd had a late night the night before, as they had their first red carpet event as a couple. It was the Artist of the Year awards and not only did the show win an award for their international reach and influence, but Chip had been onstage introducing some of the performers. They had practically fallen into bed with exhaustion and she was looking forward to spending some quality time with him. "We shouldn't. Unless we just mess up royally." She gave him a side eye. "Or someone can't resist being a comedian." It was not unusual for Chip to crack a joke or something similar when a scene didn't run smoothly. It could be frustrating to do take after take, not always because of a mistake, but if someone wanted to try something different. He was always the one who tried to lighten the mood, unsurprisingly.
He grinned. "Come on. You love it," he said and she couldn't help but laugh.
They watched as the extras were instructed on their responsibilities and there was a run through for how things would go during Rayna and Deacon's first dance. Finally it was time for the first take and he took her hand and led her out to the middle of the group and they got into position.
They were waiting to be called on set. Chip turned to her. "So what song are we doing for your show?" he asked.
She rolled her eyes. "Oh no, Chip. Not that again."
"You have to." His eyes were twinkling.
"I don't have to. Why do you say that?"
He laughed. "It's your show, baby. And you sang the last time. No one's gonna give you a pass."
She shook her head, but she did smile a little. "Particularly not you." She pointed her finger at him.
He grinned. "Especially not me. I even got the perfect song."
She played along. "Which one?"
"The duet that shoulda been for Deacon and Rayna. That song Rayna did with Markus."
"Oh really."
"Yep. Don't you agree it shoulda been a Deacon and Rayna song?"
"I could see where it might have been."
"Okay then. That's the one." They were called on set then and he took off.
"I didn't say I would do it," she called after him. She knew he would try to wear her down on it and she also knew she'd probably end up doing it. She sighed and followed him.
Of course, she ended up letting him talk her into singing on stage. And again, she made clear that she would never have done it with anyone else but him. The truth was – and she didn't really want to admit it to him – it was kind of fun doing it. This one in particular was a more fun song to do and they even danced together. She had to admit that she'd enjoyed it.
She slipped her hand into his as they walked out to the car. He smiled at her. "I thought it went really well," she said.
"It did," he replied. "You seemed more comfortable with singing this time."
She smiled. "Maybe I was, a little bit." She pointed her finger at him. "Don't get ideas though. I'm not making a habit of it, just to be clear."
He laughed. "Oh, I'm clear. But you know it's hard for you to turn me down." He smirked. "About anything."
She feigned shock. "That's so not true." They had reached his car and he opened the passenger side door for her to get in. He put his guitar in the trunk, then got in on the driver's side. "You know I just let you think you're getting your way."
He laughed. "But I'm still getting my way." He leaned over the console and kissed her, then sat back and started the car. He backed out of the parking place and eased out of the parking lot and onto the street behind the Ryman. He glanced over at her. "All kidding aside, you sounded great. And you really looked like you were having fun."
"I did have fun. It's a lot of work, but it's so meaningful to me to do this."
"I know how you feel. I'm the same way about LLS." He smirked. "But that wasn't exactly what I was referring to."
She laughed. "Oh, I know exactly what you're referring to. But you're going to reward me for doing it when we get home, so...there's that."
He stood in front of her, his eyes dark with desire. He put his hands under the sweater she'd put on after she'd changed from the dress she'd worn at the show. His fingers grazed her skin lightly and she felt herself shiver a bit with anticipation. She closed her eyes briefly and then opened them, breathing in slowly. He then reached for the bottom of the sweater and pulled it up and over her head, tossing it to the floor. He licked his lower lip and then rubbed his thumbs over the fabric that covered her breasts, her nipples already hard. He pressed his lips together and made a moaning noise.
She reached out and unbuttoned his shirt, her eyes fixed on his. Then she pulled the shirt from his jeans. She unbuckled his belt and then pulled it out, dropping it on the floor and then pushing off his shirt. She pressed her hands against his chest, then took a step forward and pressed her lips against his skin. He ran his fingers through her hair, then put his hands on either side of her face, bringing her lips to his and kissing her deeply.
When he let her go, she felt breathless. She reached out and unbuttoned the waistband of his jeans, then slid the zipper down slowly. She pushed his jeans halfway down his hips until he took over, pushing them down the rest of the way and then stepping out of them. He looked at her for a long moment, then cupped her face and leaned in for another long, lingering kiss. She rested her hands along his wrists. Then he reached behind her and unfastened her bra, pulling the straps down over her arms and tossing it on top of her sweater. He gently cupped her breasts and she moaned softly.
He took her in his arms and laid her back gently on the bed. He tugged at the legs of the sweatpants she'd put on, skimming them down over her hips and her legs, then followed with her underwear. He doffed his own then and grasping her ankles, moved her so that she was lengthwise on the bed. She glanced at his erection and breathed in sharply, feeling herself getting wet with desire for him. He straddled her then, hovering over her for a moment. He took one knee and nudged her leg. She opened them up for him and he lowered himself on top of her and then entered her swiftly. She moaned out loud as she took him in, feeling the searing pleasure of him inside her.
"God, I love you," he moaned just before he settled his lips on hers. She opened her mouth to him and wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist and gave herself over to him. Yes, singing on stage with him had been more than worth it.
Chip was going to the Outer Banks with his kids for the spring break. He'd asked her to come but she'd said no. He hadn't really pushed it though and she was glad. Things had been a little tense since she'd very tentatively raised the issue of her next chapter. She had known it would be. She tried to think about it from his perspective. It was the perfect situation for him. The show mixed acting and music, putting him in a city where music was everywhere and he could live in that world. It wasn't something she took lightly. But she also wanted him to understand her own creative process and he just wasn't there yet.
She got caught up in reading to Yoby. When she turned to look at him, she saw that he was asleep. She smiled and then closed the book, placing it on the table next to his bed. She got up and pulled the light blanket up just a bit, then turned out the light. The soft light from the nightlight lit her way to the door. Even now, at 5, he still liked to have it. She looked at him one last time, then quietly closed the door. She could hear Chip downstairs with his guitar and she stood there listening for a moment before she finally headed for the stairs.
When she walked into the den, he looked up, then set aside the guitar. "That was fast," he said.
She smiled and walked over to the couch, sitting down next to him. "He was pretty tired. I think they spent time outside today enjoying the nice weather. I liked the sound of what you were playing. Is that new?"
"Yeah, something I've been working on for a while. I'm having a little trouble with it but I'll get there."
She clasped her hands together and sighed. "Do you think this will ever end?" she asked, not looking at him.
"Do I think what will ever end?"
She looked at him. "This madness. It's all turned into such a cluster fuck. How did it happen?" Storylines felt disjointed, characters appeared and disappeared with no explanation. It felt like they were just throwing things at the wall to see what would stick.
He breathed in slowly. "The show?"
"Yes, the show." She swallowed. "I've been thinking about what to do about it."
"I don't understand." He rubbed his hands up and down his legs. "What exactly have you been thinking about?"
"About the future. My future." She sighed. "Look, I really like having the freedom to do the types of projects that mean something to me. Having flexibility is important to me. I didn't want to take on a multi-season series with all the episodes that go along with it. I never intended to do that again. But, you know, this show was intriguing. I liked what Callie's original premise was, to explore the music industry through the eyes of female artists. And it was appealing to walk into a role where the female artist was at a crossroads. Trending down but not ready to pack up her rhinestones."
He frowned. "So did you expect it would be just one season? Or a couple?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. I just know that it was something that really sparked my interest, but quite honestly after about a season and a half we seemed to lose a lot of that focus. I know you know that's true." She looked at him, pleading silently for him to understand. "I don't know if I can continue doing this. Everything seems to be focused on the shock factor and not just for us, but for everyone."
He leaned forward, breathed out, and then stood up. "So you want to quit."
"I don't know. Maybe. I just know I don't want to keep doing what we're doing. Plus I have no time to do things that will stretch me. Maybe if we'd just done fewer episodes each season. That made a huge difference for me on Friday Night Lights."
He frowned. "You know if you quit, the show's done."
"That's ridiculous, Chip. There are so many others on the show that fans are passionate about. Especially you."
He let out a sharp laugh. "Oh, right. Deacon without Rayna. I don't see that going over particularly well. What happens? She's always in another room or she's at work but we never see her there? She goes on tour alone? She's in a plane crash and has a head injury and doesn't remember her Nashville life? Or she dies? None of that makes sense to me." He walked across the room and stared out the sliding doors. "And what about us?" he asked, not looking at her. "What does that mean for us?"
"Nothing has to change for us, Chip. It just would change for me. And I don't know that I'd quit. It's not like I've made up my mind. And to tell you the truth, I wouldn't be at all surprised if we actually got cancelled this time." He turned to face her then. She got up and walked over to him, standing in front of him. "I know the idea of that is not what you want. I know how important this show is to you. But it's not like you can't still have a career and keep your home base here. And who knows what these new guys – Marshall and Ed – will come up with? Maybe it's your time to shine."
"But that's not what I want, Connie." He looked at her curiously. "And where would your home base be?"
"I, uh, I haven't really thought about that. It could be here. Especially if you are. But I really need to do something new, something new that will challenge me the way this did. Please understand. I'm not doing this to you. I'm thinking about what my options are for me."
That had been about 2 weeks earlier and he'd said little about it since. They had gone to bed and turned away from each other, but by morning he was spooning her. Most of the time she couldn't tell any difference in their interactions. They still went out with friends, spent time together with his kids and Yoby, and made love frequently. She thought he just didn't want to ask her if she'd decided. The truth was she had not. She really believed the show would be cancelled, thus freeing her from having to make a decision at all. But if it wasn't, she didn't want to leave him. It was going to be complicated.
"So have you decided what you're going to do?" Carla asked. They were sitting outside by the pool at her house, drinking wine. She and Yoby had flown in the day before for the week.
She shrugged. "Kind of. But I think the show's going to be cancelled. There's a new network head and I don't think she's as inclined to keep low performing shows. We aren't the only ones on the bubble and I get the sense she's more ruthless about that kind of thing. Which is fine. It makes things cleaner on my end." She paused. "You know Chip isn't thrilled about that. Or any alternatives."
"Like you quitting? Have you actually told him in those words that you're strongly leaning that way?"
She shook her head. "No. I said it was an option, but didn't say that. Because I think it's going to be a moot point."
"Let's say it's not. What then?"
"I don't know. The new showrunners would have to have some really spectacular ideas, I think, for me to want to come back. I mean, I hate to do it to everyone on the show, but I'm not happy."
"And what about Chip?"
She sighed. "We'd have to talk about it. His ex-wife and kids are living there, although I guess they could relocate back here. If he came back here. But I really think he wants to stay in Nashville, for reasons other than just the show. He really loves it there. And he could still have an acting career but keep living there."
"Are you willing to stay in Nashville? If it came to that?"
She took a sip of her wine, then looked over at Carla. "If he wanted me to, then yeah, I think I would. I'd still want to keep this place because a lot of stuff is filmed here, but we've waited a long time to be together and gone through so much. I just couldn't ... I don't know."
Carla gave her a little smile and reached for her hand, squeezing it gently. "You want to be with your man. I get it. Well, maybe it won't come to that. Maybe it will be clean, as you say, and the show gets cancelled. Then you figure it out together and he's not upset with you."
"Oh, I don't really think he'd be upset with me. But you know, I haven't decided anything yet."
Carla looked at her. "I think you have. Just be prepared for how he might react, depending on what happens."
She looked back over the pool. Carla was mostly right. And she was truly hoping the decision would be made for her. But she owed it to Chip – and herself – not to make a final decision until they knew what would happen.
They had 2 more episodes to shoot. She had never been more relieved to get through a season as she was this one. She thought even Chip was ready for it to be over. Of course, she wanted it to be truly over. Rayna and Deacon deserved to be able to ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. She had felt somewhat encouraged about the new showrunners, but the season had been difficult to get through and remain positive about. She was exhausted and really wanted to do something new and different. So she wasn't sure that was enough.
They had not talked again about her feelings on staying with the show or leaving. The one time she'd tried to bring it up again, he'd brushed her off. Why can't you just wait until you see what's gonna happen? She had decided that was fair. It didn't mean that she couldn't think about it, but there wasn't a need to bring it up all the time. She knew she'd want to talk to him about it, but it could wait.
Since she and Chip had gone public with their relationship, there had been a few bumps in the road to navigate, but it had mostly been smooth sailing, and they were both encouraged by that. Just then Chip climbed back into bed, sliding under the sheets and putting one arm around her as she snuggled into him. She loved these moments, when they could just relax and enjoy each other's company. They didn't have to talk, didn't have to do anything really. Just be. She felt his fingers in her hair as she let her finger draw circles on his chest. He shifted a little and she looked up.
He was looking down at her and grinned. "Did I tell you that I figured out where the place was with the blue ocean and the white houses?"
She was confused. "What?"
"You told me last year after the holidays that you wanted us to go someplace together that had beautiful blue ocean water and white houses and blue skies and sunshine. You felt like you'd seen it before but couldn't remember for sure."
She concentrated on it and then vaguely remembered something about that. "I think I remember." She looked at him quizzically. "You never remember things like that. How in the world did you remember this time?"
He laughed. "I remember the important stuff," he said. "So, anyway, I figured out where it is."
"So it is a real place?"
He nodded. "Yep. Greece. Actually it's an island in Greece. Santorini. I looked it up and it's supposed to be one of the most romantic places on earth."
She smiled. "Really. How interesting."
He grinned. "I thought so too. So I had this idea. What if we got married and went there on our honeymoon?"
She sat up. "What?" This was completely unexpected. Not that she hadn't imagined it might happen, but they had not discussed it up to this point.
"I thought we could get married and..."
"Oh, I heard you," she said. "Are you actually asking me to marry you? I mean, we haven't talked about it."
He laughed and then pulled her back down and wrapped her up in his arms. "We're talking about it now," he said. "But I've been thinking about it for a while. When I found this place, it just, well, it just seemed like the right time."
She stared at him for a moment, then started to laugh too. "You're crazy."
"Crazy about you, baby," he said, kissing her. "We can still get a ring and make a big to do out of it if you want, but it'll already be a done deal then."
"Hmm." She ran a finger down his jawline. "What about this? We get married with just our closest friends and family and make it private and confidential and not tell anyone else until it's all over. No public proposal needed."
He raised his eyebrows. "Are you saying yes?"
She chuckled. "Yeah, I guess I am." He rolled her over onto her back, nudging her legs open. Then he kissed her hungrily as he entered her quickly. She gasped a little from the swiftness of it, tingling all over, but regained her composure for a moment. "And I get the honeymoon in Greece?" she asked, hearing the huskiness in her voice.
He smirked. "Oh yeah." He breathed in as he looked down at her. "God I love you," he said. She heard the rough emotion in his tone.
"I love you too," she murmured. She put her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He slid his hands under her ass, gripping her as he pressed in a little further. She felt breathless. "Oh my god, this feels so good," she whispered. "You feel so good."
She and Chip weren't together when the news broke about the show's cancellation. He had just gotten back to Nashville after the cast tour and she was flying back from LA on Saturday. They all found out via a text from Callie that she later learned was sent just minutes before the official announcement. She'd been waiting for it, despite all the talk in recent days and weeks about the expectation it would be renewed. What surprised her was the degree of sadness she felt when she saw it in writing. She had been ready for it – that was still true – and was ready to take on the next chapter, but the reality of it made her realize it had meant more to her than she'd really realized.
As she sat with her phone, watching the flood of texts in response to Callie's message, she could see and feel the disappointment and pain everyone was feeling. In the middle of the string Chip's response had been succinct. Fuck. She knew he'd have a range of emotions, from anger to hurt to a deep sadness. It was a clean break though and she already felt ready to move on. When they'd shot the last episode it had felt like an ending, wrapping up almost all the storylines. The only one left open was Hayden's and, with her reentering rehab, it was unknown how that would have affected a 5th season.
She felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She immediately felt lighter somehow. Freer. She and Chip would need to talk about how they would go forward, but she hoped that first they could take some time to just regroup and recenter. When she looked back at her phone, in addition to the continuation of texts from the cast and primary crew, she had texts from her management company about TV appearances to talk about the cancellation and the one she needed to respond to right away. Call me. She took a deep breath before she placed the call.
"I really didn't think it would happen," he said when he answered. He sounded despondent.
"I know."
"But you did."
"Well, I thought it was a possibility, for several reasons. You know, the head of the network was fired, ratings weren't great, and the storylines were kind of outrageous. I know a lot of people weren't happy."
"What's next then? For us."
She drew her legs up underneath her. "I think that's something we'll have to talk about. I know we can figure out the logistics and all that. Don't you?"
"Yeah." She could still hear the sadness in his voice. She was sure he'd get past it, but she knew how hard it was on him. She would need to be careful about how she expressed her feelings. He sighed. "I wish you were here."
"I do too. But I'll be back in a couple days." They would be getting married in Nashville at the end of June, so she would need to be back to take care of those details. He was going to need her too, as he worked out his feelings. "It's going to work out, sweetheart. We'll work it all out."
By the time she was back in Nashville, a groundswell of fan anguish over the cancellation had begun to lead to a campaign to bring the show back on another network. She also knew that the production company was working on the same thing. Chip was throwing himself into it enthusiastically. She found it hard to work up the same level of enthusiasm as everyone else, but she tried to be supportive just the same. But she'd had some talk show appearances and had been interviewed about the cancellation and, although she'd tried to put the right spin on things, Chip had been unhappy with what she'd said.
"You seem excited to move on," he said, frowning at her.
"What am I supposed to say? If nothing comes of trying to get with another network we're still where we are now. And you know I've wanted to go in a different direction creatively. That's not something new."
"You could sound more supportive of the effort to get the show picked up. It's like you don't want that."
She shook her head. "I would not be unhappy if it didn't happen. I don't want to be disingenuous, Chip. I know you want it picked up. And you're going to do what you want to do. But I haven't been happy for a while. You know that. It's not like I just sprung this on you."
He looked furious. "I've heard you complain, Connie. So yes, I know how you feel. But what if it happens? What if we get picked up? What are you gonna do then?"
That was a good question. If they'd been renewed, she had considered what her options might have been. Unless she could be really sure that the new team wouldn't continue down the same path they'd been on, she would have been reluctant to come back. She shrugged. "I don't know."
"Are you still thinking about quitting?"
She felt frustrated. "I don't know, Chip."
He looked away, then back at her. He was angry. She could even feel it. "Were we gonna talk about it?" he said, his voice clipped.
"I have talked to you about it. I've told you that getting cancelled would make everything neat and tidy. I don't know what else it is you want me to say."
He put his hands to his head as though he were going to explode. "We're supposed to be getting married, Connie," he said, raising his voice. "Are we gonna live in two different places? Is that how this is gonna go?"
"We don't have to live in separate places, Chip. We can live here and either or both of us can take jobs elsewhere. We would figure it out, like other people do. Make decisions on how we handle it. But I feel like you're just trying to pick a fight with me."
He raised his eyebrows. "Picking a fight? Goddammit, Connie, this is a big fucking deal. This is our future and I don't feel like we're on the same page at all." He breathed in. "I don't even want to ask..."
She held her hand up. "Then don't. Let's just wait to see how this plays out. You have a couple weeks before the next part of your tour. You're going to be at the CMA Fest. I have a wedding to plan. Why don't we concentrate on those things and just wait on the rest."
"I can't wait. I'm gonna be as involved in this campaign as I can. A lot of the other cast are too. It would be great if people saw you support it."
She sighed. "I don't know that I have any influence. I think it just needs to happen organically."
He looked at her, at first angry but then it seemed like some of that fury had been tempered. "If we get picked up, I want to be part of your decision process on whatever you're gonna do."
"Of course. I would never do anything without talking to you. I promise you'll be part of that. But I think that until there's something to actually discuss that we let it go. Can you do that?"
"I guess so," he said. He looked like he was trying to figure something out. "I think I need to have some space. That okay?"
She nodded. "Yes." Then she watched him turn and walk out the door. She knew in her heart leaving was probably the best thing for her, but there were still unknowns and she wasn't going to make a decision on anything until things were certain. Chip would come around, she knew that. And they would talk about all of it because she wouldn't make any decision without his input and support. But she needed to give him that space to process his fear and worry and heartbreak.
"Have you already decided what you're going to do?" he asked her. It seemed more and more likely they might be picked up by CMT for at least another season. She had kept her word on not committing to anything publicly and, since there was yet to be anything to talk about, she and Chip had not had any in depth conversation about it.
She shook her head. "No." Technically that was true.
He looked at her intently. "You forget how well I know you. I see it in your eyes. You're pretty sure," he said, not without a mix of hurt and sadness in his voice.
She sighed. "Chip, it's not fair of me to make a decision now. I need to be able to weigh all the options. And right now we don't know what those are."
"But you're leaning in a direction, right?"
She shrugged. "I don't know."
"Connie." She could hear the disbelief.
"Look. There are too many variables right now. If we stay cancelled, the decision is made. But if another network picks us up the way I see it is I have 3 paths. I can ask to be released flat out, no wrap up. I could ask to be released and negotiate a certain number of episodes to create a wrap up storyline. Or I could ask to do fewer episodes." She sighed. "To be honest, I don't want to do a full 22 episode season again. In fact, I won't agree to that in any future TV series projects I do. It's too much and it doesn't allow for much in the way of other projects. Plus I have Yoby to think about. And I really don't want that level of commitment. Really and truly, I can't see agreeing to anything longer than a year's commitment to anything." She watched him as he processed that.
"I guess that's fair," he said finally. "I should let you know that my preference is that we get picked up and that you stay with the show in some capacity."
She smiled and scooted over to tuck into him. "I wouldn't expect anything less."
A week later it was announced that CMT would pick the show up for a full 22 episode season 5. A week after that Chip would be going on a weeklong UK tour with several of the other cast members. And they would get married within days of his return. She promised they would talk about it when they returned from Greece and that she would meet with the new showrunners. Luckily she was too busy during those couple of weeks to sit and think about it anyway. And she would not let it spoil the happiest time of her life.
She was still recovering from jet lag on the second day when she woke up to the brilliant sunlight streaming into the room. Through the window she could see a beautiful blue sky with a few puffy clouds. She turned her head and saw Chip was still sleeping. He'd seemed to have zero trouble with jet lag, which annoyed her. Life is so not fair. She slid out from under the sheet and walked across the room to get her robe. The concrete floor felt cool on her feet and the robe felt like silk against her skin. She opened the door carefully so she didn't wake Chip and walked out onto the terrace, into the bright sunlight. It was already warm but there was a nice breeze that made it more pleasant. She stood at the edge of the terrace and looked out over the brilliant blue water towards the rock peninsula across from the hotel.
This had been exactly the place she'd thought about and it was absolutely perfect. They could explore the island or stay in the sumptuous bed in the room or hang out in the small pool on the terrace. She still had a very mild headache from jet lag, but the warmth and sunlight was helping to whisk it away. The food they'd had so far had been superb and the people were gracious and friendly. Even better, no one seemed to know who they were, which meant they could really enjoy the time together.
The wedding had only been a few days earlier but it already seemed longer, probably because of the plane changes and layovers they'd gone through to get to Greece and then to Santorini. It had been perfect – just family, small and intimate and private. When they got back to the US, they'd have some sort of reception for friends and they could announce it. It had all been so lovely. Chip's kids had been wonderful – welcoming and supportive. Those relationships were getting closer all the time, something she was grateful for, and that she knew was not a given.
When they had decided to do this, there had been a window of time in late June/early July, after he came back from the UK. It was the end of shoulder season but they'd still been fortunate to book the suite they wanted. Of course then they'd had the complication of the show's cancellation and the moving of it to CMT. Chip had been a wreck about it and it had caused tension between them briefly, but that was over. At least the part about the show potentially going away. But that wasn't what she wanted to focus on.
This would be a wonderful week. She and Chip would be able to spend concentrated time together in a very relaxed setting. Something they really both needed. There would be decisions to make when they got back to Nashville, but it wasn't something to talk about here. Here the show ceased to exist, all the other noise around them ceased to exist, and it would be just the two of them in their own little cocoon.
She jumped just a little when she felt arms wrap around her, but then she relaxed. "What are you doing?" Chip whispered against her ear.
She smiled. "Just thinking how perfect this is. All of it. This place, you, us."
"You happy?"
She laughed softly. She remembered the little scene they'd shot back at the beginning of the 2nd season. Deacon had his arms around Rayna just like this, asking her if she was happy. "Yeah, I'm happy," she said, the same line she'd had then. She suddenly felt teary. Not sad tears, but happy tears. She turned in his arms, putting the palms of her hands on his chest. "I'm happier than I ever thought I'd be."
He smiled. Her beautiful, handsome, sweet husband. They'd waited a long time for this. Gone through a lot of ups and downs, complications, and angst to get here. But it had all worked out. "Me too," he said. He kissed her softly, sweetly, letting his lips just linger against hers.
She felt a stirring deep in her core. "I don't have anything on under this robe," she said, with a sly smile.
He chuckled. "Neither do I." He raised his eyebrows. "Wanna fool around?"
She laughed. "Yes, please." He took her hand and led her back into their room, over to their luxurious bed, and then showed her in so many thrilling, exciting ways how very much he loved her.
She was listening to music, the soft, gentle music that usually could lull her to sleep. It was music that conjured up images of gentle waves on a beach, breezes in a meadow of wildflowers, a slow, meandering creek in a forest where the sun peaked through the branches and leaves. It pissed her off that it didn't work so well on a plane. She'd dozed a handful of times, but not for long, and certainly not restfully.
She'd woken Chip up for the late lunch meal and they had talked a little, but he'd gone right back to sleep. She would glance over from time to time, watching him, wanting to wake him up so she had someone to talk to, but he looked so peaceful she couldn't do it. And they would have the rest of their lives together, plenty of time to be together and talk and enjoy each other. There were big decisions to be made when they got back to Nashville, about the future and their lives together. Having the time together in Greece had clarified a lot of things for her and she was anxious to share her thoughts with him.
She tried watching a movie, but got bored. She nodded off once more, then woke again, with no idea how long she'd been sleeping. She felt a very subtle slowing of the plane and turned the monitor to the navigation screen. They were still over the ocean but she could see the edges of land on the far left of the screen. They would fly over the very eastern edges of Canada before landing in New York. She was mesmerized by the flight path, as the music continued to play in her ears. She watched for a little while longer, until they were about 25 minutes out, then reached over and grabbed Chip's arm. After a few seconds, he pushed himself up until he was resting on his elbows. He looked at her as though he was disoriented, then reached down to pick up his cap, which had fallen to the floor.
He sat up, bringing up his seat back, and then rubbed his face as he yawned. He looked back at her, a sleepy smile on his face. "We almost there?"
She nodded and smiled back. "Yeah."
"You sleep at all?"
She shook her head. "Not really. I'll sleep tonight and then feel better tomorrow."
He took her hand and squeezed it gently, then threaded his fingers through hers. "I kinda hate going back."
"I know." She nodded. "I'll miss being in our own little bubble." For now she wanted to enjoy starting this new life with Chip. She'd been sad to leave their little piece of heaven, with the beautiful sunrises, walks along the beach, late night dinners outside under the stars. It had been peaceful and romantic, everything the resort had promised. "This was really wonderful. Everything about Greece was amazing." She smiled again. "Being with you was the best part."
"I totally agree." He yawned. "So what did you do with all that time?"
She thought about that. The two of them had had such a journey together and going back through it all had been both exhilarating and hard. A lot like their relationship, with all the twists and turns, hiding in the darkness and now, finally, coming into the light. "I thought about us," she said. "Our journey. And how glad I am to be doing it with you." She could see the raw emotion in his eyes as he lifted her hand and pressed his lips to the back of it.
She breathed in deeply. Their path had felt so inevitable, from the very moment they'd met. He had truly been no ordinary man. He'd inhabited her, in the end, taking her to the highest of highs. She had never known to want that, that energy and fullness that he'd brought to her life. He was her storm, the man who tangled up her heart, who took her places she'd only imagined. He was her home. What had become clear to her while they had been in Greece was that home was wherever he was and that was where she wanted – and needed – to be. There would be a lifetime of 4 AM conversations and sleepless nights and passionate madness in the end and she couldn't wait to do it together. Her heart was full.
THE END