Author's Note: I published this on ao3 also. I actually only recently started watching Dawson's Creek and I'm still at the beginning of season 4 but I pretty much already know what goes down during the rest of the show and I stan Joey and Pacey so hardddddd and I hate Dawson so muchhhh. I ranted to my friends about this scene for hours so I finally decided to just rewrite it how it should have gone. One of my BFFs told me to use a lyric from Taylor Swift's "Breathe" for the title so shoutout to her ayeeee.
Joey didn't know what she had been expecting.
Of course, she knew that Dawson would not react positively to her and Pacey… dating? Having passionate make-out sessions in enclosed spaces? Whatever they were doing. But she hadn't expected him to already know. For Jen, of all people, to have been the one to tell him. For him to have such an explosive, unfair, infuriating reaction. Although looking back, Dawson's reactions to things were frequently infuriating so she probably shouldn't have been so surprised.
His face was contorted by hatred, an expression that, in all the years Joey had known him, had never been directed at her. "So are you bored? Are you confused or just malicious?"
Joey was stunned by his words, the disgust in his tone. And she was even more surprised to find that the guilt she had been feeling for the past week was slowly being suffocated by an anger and defensiveness so strong she wasn't sure she could find the words to express it.
"Hey, look, I started this thing ok?" Pacey interjected, stepping forward as if to physically block Joey from Dawson's anger. "If you're gonna get angry at someone, get angry at me. It's not-"
"I don't think you're in any position to talk about what's fair. You were my best friend."
"I still am."
"I'm finding that a little hard to process right now."
"It's the truth, Dawson." The hurt in Pacey's tone was louder than his voice and it made the tightness in Joey's chest just that much tighter. She knew it was her turn to speak up, to defend Pacey, but the words seemed to be stuck in her throat.
"So I guess it's safe to assume that friendship doesn't come above sex in your list of personal priorities."
And just like that the blockage was cleared.
"This has nothing -"
"How could you even say something like that, Dawson?" She blurted, her hands shaking with anxiety and anger. "About me? Do you think somebody could only be interested in me for sex? Is that how you view me?"
That seemed to have knocked the wind out of his self-righteous anger because his voice was softer when he responded, "No, Joey, you know I don't see you like that. But you know how Pacey is. You know that all he cares about is sex. How could you go to him?"
His words did not have the intended effect of calming her down. Instead, they caused a surge of protectiveness and her anger only grew. "It's really funny you should say that because he has never once made me feel that his attraction to me is purely sexual. Ever. You-"
"Oh, what, do you think he's in love with you?"
At that she froze, unable to look at Pacey and gauge his reaction. She had no idea what he really felt for her. They hadn't gotten that far yet. After all, their relationship wasn't following the normal trajectory of a normal relationship. No big confession had been proclaimed. Not yet.
She was startled by Dawson's angry yell, "Oh, God, don't! Don't look at her alright? Don't, I-" he paused, jutting out an accusing finger, his face once again contorted into the ugliest, meanest expression she had ever seen on sweet Dawson Leery's face. "You know what Pacey? I feel sorry for you. Because when all this is over you're really gonna need your friends and you're not gonna have any. You are not gonna have a single one."
"Dawson, do you even hear yourself?" She grabbed Pacey's hand and took a step in front of him, a surge of satisfaction rolling over her when she saw Dawson's eyes shift to their hands and away, clearly discomfited. Pacey was always the one to defend her, protect her, be there for her, and now it was time for her to return the favor. She never imagined she would have to defend him from Dawson, though.
Dawson's responding scoff had her seeing red and her hold on Pacey's hand tightened. "You're talking about Pacey, Dawson. Pacey. Your best friend. Your oldest friend. What kind of a friend would say something that vicious?"
"My oldest friend?" he spat. "My oldest friend stole MY girl-"
"Your girl? I am not your girl, Dawson. We haven't been together in nearly a year and-"
"So what? Is that it? Are you punishing me for rejecting you?"
"This isn't about you Dawson. Not everything is about you! I am not yours, you do not own me, and you have no right to stake some manly claim on me as if I were a piece of meat. I choose who I'm with, and while I can't dictate your emotions, you have no right to get between me and whoever I choose to be with." Joey stopped herself from looking back at Pacey for fear of angering Dawson further, but when he gave her hand a gentle squeeze that communicated his approval of her words, she squeezed his hand back and felt him relax slightly behind her.
Dawson looked as if Joey had punched him. It was understandable. While she was known for her feisty personality and her bitter quips, she had never truly opposed Dawson. She had always followed him around like a love-sick puppy and her own love for him frequently blinded her to all the times he hadn't been a good friend to her, to Pacey, to everyone. But, while she knew that the possibility of her choosing to date his best friend would bring out strong, ugly, emotions in him, she was repulsed by this egotistical, misogynistic, and cruel side of him that she had never known existed.
"Hey guys, what's going on?" Andie's cheerful voice startled all of them out of their intense staredown. Pacey and Joey both quickly took a step away from each other, their hands dropping between them. It was one thing to reveal their relationship to Dawson and another to spring it on Andie, who had only that afternoon revealed to Joey that she still had feelings for Pacey. Andie walked up to them, Will following close behind, with a sweet smile directed straight at Pacey that slowly started to crumble when she noticed the tension suffusing their encounter.
Joey had the sudden urge to scream. Of course she knew she shouldn't be mad at Andie, but she could not have chosen a worse time to pop up. There were still so many things left unsaid between the three of them. Joey felt like she was about to burst with the need to make Dawson understand how he was hurting her, how he was hurting Pacey. She was not delusional enough to believe that things between them could ever go back to the way they once were, but Dawson was slowly but surely destroying any chance that they might one day grow to become friends again.
"Why don't you ask Pacey?" Dawson yelled, and Joey couldn't bring herself to look Andie in the eye when her face fell. "Ask him how long he and Joey have been sneaking around behind my back. Or better yet, ask Joey. Ask her how long she's been lying to me and to you."
The tears that Joey had been holding back throughout this whole conversation finally threatened to fall as she buried her face in her hands.
"Go ahead, ask them," he insisted. "Because I can't even stand to look at them anymore." The sound of the screen door opening and closing finally made Joey look up and towards where Dawson had stood. She knew she should probably go after him, finish their conversation, try to make sure that it didn't end on such a sour note, but she couldn't bear to leave Pacey to face Andie alone. She turned to look at him and she must've had her thoughts written all over her face because he nodded at her and gave her a sad smile that perforated her heart.
She only allowed herself a quick glance at Andie's distressed face before she turned to follow Dawson. She had only made it past the front door, however, when she heard Andie start to speak and froze.
"So, is this true Pacey? You and Joey?"
"Yes," was Pacey's quiet response.
"I don't know what to say." There were tears in Andie's voice and Joey was glad she didn't have to look at her face, as she knew her expression would only make the guilt worse.
"Me neither." The confusion in Pacey's tone, the hopelessness, finally burst the dam, and Joey felt the tears slowly start to roll down her cheeks. She wished she could say "fuck it", take his hand, and leave, but they didn't live in a bubble. Whether they liked it or not, their actions had consequences. They knew from the beginning that their relationship would hurt others and they chose to take that risk, and while Joey didn't regret making that decision, she wished she didn't have to deal with the aftermath. She wished she could find the magic words that would somehow make everything better, leave everybody happy.
"You must really uh… you know, to give up your friendship with Dawson, to give up everything." Joey was surprised by the anger in Andie's voice. "God, how could you be so stupid, Pacey? " Her sudden yell pushed Joey to turn around and back out the front door, the blood rushing in her ears with every step.
"You know you're gonna get hurt. She is never going to love you like she loves him, ok? He is her-"
"Hey!" Joey yelled, stepping between Andie and Pacey, forcing her to take a startled step back, her expression already changing from angry and sad to embarrassed and guilty. "You don't get to say those things to him. You have no idea how I feel about him or Dawson, ok Andie?"
"Joey, I-"
"I can't believe you would say something so cruel to him. I can understand that you're hurt by this Andie, and I'm sorry about that but you have no right to assume anything about my feelings towards him."
The anger was returning to Andie's eyes, but Joey was glad that this time it was directed at her and not Pacey. "How could you do this to me, Joey? You know how I feel about Pacey," she whispered, as if not wanting Pacey to hear her. Of course, it was in vain but Andie was clearly embarrassed by her outburst.
"I do know how you feel about him and I'm sorry, I can't change how I feel either. But do I have to remind you of why your relationship ended in the first place?" Joey knew that it was a low blow, and she could tell from the look on Andie's face that it hit her where it hurt, but Joey couldn't stop replaying the words she had just said to Pacey and for a second she didn't care if she hurt her too.
"No, you don't have to remind me, Joey, it was my relationship. And I begged him for forgiveness countless times."
"I know you have, but he doesn't owe you his forgiveness. After everything he did for you, the work he put into your relationship, how much he loved you, you betrayed him. The least you could do is accept it when he chooses to move on."
Tears were streaming down Andie's face now, and her anger seemed to have completely evaporated as her shoulders slumped and she nodded sadly. "You're right, Joey," she whispered. "You're right and I'm-I'm sorry, ok? I shouldn't have said those things to you Pacey, I was just hurt."
"I know, Andie, it's ok," he assured her, moving from behind Joey to lay a comforting hand on Andie's shoulder. "I'm sorry we hurt you."
"It's okay, I know you didn't mean to. I guess I'm just gonna have to get used to it, huh?" Her weak laugh and false cheerfulness were so incredibly Andie-like, Joey was hit by another wave of guilt but she couldn't think of what else to say to make the situation better as Andie turned around and walked in the direction she and Will had come from, Will following behind her after shooting Pacey and her an apologetic shrug.
By the time Joey turned to look at Pacey again he was already wrapping her in his arms and pressing his lips to her hair. "Thank you for sticking up for me there, Jo. I don't think anybody has ever defended my honor like that before," he chuckled with false levity, but Joey could feel the tension in his muscles, had seen the tears in his eyes earlier when Andie told him that Joey would never love him like she did Dawson, and she knew that Pacey was way more hurt than he would ever admit to being, so she wrapped her arms around him tighter, placing a kiss against his neck and trying to stop her tears from soaking through his sweater.
"I'm sorry about all this, Pacey."
"Well, it's not like we didn't see it coming right?" he murmured, brushing a comforting hand down her hair. "I'm sorry, too, Jo."
Joey didn't know what else to say, so she only nodded against his shoulder and held him tighter.
After a few moments where he continued to brush his fingers through her hair and she continued to try her best to stop the Niagara falls from expelling through her eyeballs, he asked, "Weren't you going to go talk to Dawson?"
"Well, I heard what Andie was saying and I couldn't just stand there and listen to her say those things!" she explained, pushing away from him slightly to look at him as the memory of her words reawakened her anger. "Besides, Dawson wanted me to go after him. Wanted me to follow him and beg for his forgiveness and make up excuses that he could just shut down with more harsh words because that's what I've always done, you know? I'm always the one apologizing, always the one letting him get away with things I shouldn't have. I mean I still can't believe he-"
"Woah, Potter!" he chuckled, placing his hands on her cheeks and pressing a quick kiss on her lips to shut her up. "To be honest with you," he shrugged, "I'm kind of glad you didn't."
"I don't know what to do now, though," she sighed, leaning her forehead on his chin.
"Well, Potter, I think we've done all we can do for tonight," he assured, rubbing soothing circles on her back. "I think now we head over to my boat, make out a little bit-" when Joey slapped his shoulder in response to that, he laughed and pressed her closer to him before continuing "we can make out a little bit, and then call it a night. We'll see what else we do tomorrow, ok?"
"Ok," she muttered against his shoulder, before pulling back to press a sweet kiss to his lips.
"Sounds good, now let's go before Dawson comes out here with a rifle or something."
Joey couldn't stop the laugh that escaped her and when she saw his answering smile, his eyes crinkling adorably around the corners, despite the sadness that lingered there, she knew that they really would be ok.
Author's Note: I hated how this scene went down in the show and I hated how it took so long for Joey to finally choose Pacey even though Dawson had been extremely cruel to the both of them. Pacey deserved better. I could write a whole essay about how Pacey deserved better throughout the show, at least what I've seen of it thus far, but alas, all I can do right now is write fix-it fics. Thanks for reading :)))