Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation
A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction
by Derald Snyder
Chapter 4- Meeting Neon
*Lowee Basilicom, two days later...*
"Hey Noire, you're looking a little run-down," Neptune observed as the two along with Vert entered the lobby. "Forget to recharge your batteries?"
"For your information, I was catching up on paperwork so I wouldn't be swamped when I got back!" the raven-haired tsundere shot back. "And besides, you're looking a little fish-belly pale yourself!"
"Well, how would you feel if you were tricked into eating something as disgusting as eggplant?!" Neptune groaned. "I've lost track of how much Pepto and laxatives I gulped down...!"
"That's not exactly healthy, either," Vert spoke up. "I suppose I should count myself fortunate that I only had to take a shower after that pitfall prank... it's almost like the powers that be are conspiring against us."
"Well, apparently some organization calling themselves 'Ho-Hum' is responsible for ransacking Uni's gun collection," Noire expounded. "Unfortunately, there were no fingerprints on the note they left behind, and handwriting analysis determined that the thief is likely a woman..."
"Well, that narrows it down to practically the entire cast," Neptune snarked. "Well, save maybe Tekken and 5pb., they aren't smart enough to pull off a heist like that..."
"I'm fairly certain MAGES. is still in Leanbox, so it couldn't be her, either," Vert pointed out. "Oh, hello there, Ram!"
"Hiya!" the youngest Lowee sister greeted the others. "Big Sis says to meet her in her office! And believe me, you're gonna have your minds blown when she tells you the big news!"
"...I can't think of anything that would 'blow my mind', unless she says I can have you for a little sister," Vert commented, causing both Neptune and Noire to face-fault.
"Um, no," Ram rebuffed the busty blonde. "One, that's completely wrong, and two, I don't feel like smothering in your big boobs!"
"Oh well, it was worth a try," Vert sighed in mild disappointment.
"Can we talk about your little sister complex some other time?!" Noire cut in, a blood vein visible on her forehead. "Let's just get up to Blanc's office and get this over with!"
*Blanc's Office*
"We're here~!" Neptune announced as she and the others entered.
"H-hello there!" a familiar face greeted, with heather blue hair, blue eyes, glasses and dressed in a business suit, a horn-like protrusion jutting from the right side of her head.
"Hey, it's Rei Ryghts!" Neptune realized. "What's a former final boss turned lawyer doing here?"
"U-um... i-it's b-better if Lady Blanc e-explains it," the former psycho goddess stuttered, stepping aside, revealing Lowee's CPU.
"Hello, Neptune, everyone. Thank you for coming," Blanc greeted. "If you could shut the door, please." Once that was done, she began, "Before we get started, I have someone to introduce you to. Neon, if you would come here, please." A young woman stepped forward, looking to be about 15 or so. She had short light-blue hair with red streaks done in a bob-cut, also wearing red barrettes above her forehead. She was pale-skinned, with red eyes and looking a bit on the thin side, dressed in a simple light-blue blouse and matching skirt, with red slip-on shoes and white socks. "This is Neon Evangelion. She comes from far away, so if you would introduce yourselves..."
"Certainly," Vert stepped forward. "My name is Vert, I am the CPU of Leanbox to the south, also known as Green Heart. A pleasure to make your acquaintance."
"I'm Noire, CPU Black Heart of Lastation in the southeast. Nice to meet you!"
"And I'm Neptune, also known as Purple Heart of Planeptune to the west, and the main character!" Neptune finished.
"Main... character...?" Neon blinked in confusion.
"Don't think too hard about it," Blanc sighed. "Neptune can get a bit meta with her dialogue sometimes, so don't mind her..."
"...I see," the teenager said after a moment. Bowing politely, she greeted, "Well, it is an honor to meet you, goddesses of the world of Gamindustri. I must admit, I am surprised that there are four, er, five of you in this world alone. Where I come from, there is one goddess of the entire cluster, to my knowledge anyway."
"Cluster...?" Vert inquired curiously.
"Yes, the Animenga Cluster, as you call it here," Neon responded. "We intercepted your satellite that your nation launched in our direction..."
"Oh, I see," Vert nodded... then realization dawned. "W-wait... you... intercepted the satellite... in the Animenga Cluster?!"
"Wait, cluster? As in 'star cluster'? Like, way out in outer space?!" Neptune gasped, her eyes shrinking to circles.
"B-but that means...!" Noire cried with a similar expression.
Neon nodded in affirmation. "Yes. I am what you might call... an 'extraterrestrial'."
"WHAAAAAAAATT?!" the three CPUs cried at once.
"Holy fish sticks! It's an alien invasion!" Neptune yelled in panic. "I'm gonna get abducted and strapped to a table, and poked and prodded with all sorts of instruments and nasty tentacles...!"
"T-tentacles...?!" Neon sweat-dropped.
"But I don't wanna be experimented on!" Noire cried as she drew her rapier. "I won't go down without a fight!"
"Will you all SHUT UP?!" Blanc screamed, her face shadowed with one angry red eye glowing. "It's NOT an invasion, dammit! Neon's the only alien here!"
"Y-yes, everyone, please calm down and let Miss Neon explain herself," Vert concurred.
"...A-alright, fine," Noire grunted as she sheathed her weapon. "Maybe I was a bit hasty... It's all Neptune's fault!"
"S-so... no dissection or t-tentacles?" Neptune grunted.
"No dissection," the alien promised. "And, um, I don't even have tentacles... just wings."
"Wings...?" Noire blinked quizzically. "I don't see any wings..."
"Of course you don't," Vert cut in. "This is obviously not Neon Evangelion's true appearance, but rather, a disguise so she can fit in with people here without causing panic. Am I right?"
"That is correct, Lady Vert," Neon nodded with a slight smile. "If you would permit me, I will show you my true form..."
"...Just as long as it's nothing that breaks our minds trying to comprehend," Neptune demurred.
"No, nothing like that, I promise," the alien sweat-dropped again.
"Alright, I'm ready. Go ahead," Noire agreed.
"Very well then..." Neon's body was suddenly enveloped with an ethereal glow, her hair turning white as her clothes and hair decs vanished, though said glow easily disguised any 'naughty bits'. Four pairs of thin, transparent crystalline wings extended from her back, as well as two extra wings extending upward from her ankles. Two extra pairs of eyes opened on her face, one above and one below her original pair, a seventh black eye with a golden iris opening in her forehead. "This is not too off-putting, is it?"
"Eh... it's kinda freaky, but not as bad as I was thinking," Neptune admitted.
"You almost look like an angel," Noire observed.
"Well, I do currently serve as the Oracle for my goddess, so it's somewhat fitting," Neon stated, her voice now having a slight echo to it. "Like Mina Nishizawa serves as Lady Blanc's Oracle..."
"You're the Oracle?!" Neptune gasped.
"Now hold on just a minute," Vert suddenly spoke up with a stern expression. "You don't expect me to be taken in so easily, now do you?"
"Taken... in?" the angel-like alien tilted her head curiously.
"Wait, you think she's pulling our legs?!" Neptune said incredulously. "Even after this transformation?!"
"It could easily be faked with the right holographic projection technology," the busty blonde stated. "Now then, if you wish for me to believe that you are the genuine article, you will recite the Konami Code that was uploaded into the satellite's data files."
"The Konami Code?!" Noire gasped. "But, that's..." She was silenced by Vert raising her hand.
"I think I know what you're talking about," Neon nodded, closing her six normal eyes as she tried to recall. "Let's see... up, down, up, down, left, left, right, right, A, B, start."
"WRONG!" Neptune declared. "It's up, up, down, down, left, right, left right, B, A, start!"
"I g-got it wrong?!" Neon gasped in shock, her six eyes shrinking to circles.
"Objection!" Vert cried. "Actually, Neptune, that's exactly the code that was uploaded onto the satellite."
"Huh? But why is it all wrong, then?!" the Planeptune CPU asked in bewilderment.
"Obviously, Vert made it wrong on purpose, to weed out any imposters," Blanc commented.
"Precisely," Vert agreed with a slight chuckle. "After all, everyone in Gamindustri knows the Konami Code by heart... so if Neon had recited the code properly, as we all remember it, it would have exposed her as a fraud."
"But since she recalled the incorrect code you put on the satellite, that means she's the real deal," Noire concluded.
"Oh, so it was a trick all along," Neptune sighed.
"Eh-heh... E-even I was f-fooled for a moment," Rei admitted. "And I'm s-supposed t-to be the one who c-catches those c-contradictions..."
"Yeah, speaking of which, where does Rei fit into all this, anyway?" Noire asked.
"She was the first goddess that I met face-to-face," Neon explained. "I was rather intrigued, since she did not seem to rule a nation of her own, like you four... unfortunately, I angered her due to my 'stalking' as she called it... I was nearly cut down by her slicing finger!"
"But then Neon was arrested for a crime she didn't commit, and she had no choice but to contact Rei to defend her, because she was the only lawyer she knew about," Blanc said. "On this planet, anyway."
"Wow! So you ended up preventing an intergalactic incident, huh?!" Neptune exclaimed with a smile. "That's our Rei~!"
"Eh-heeheehee..." Rei blushed profusely. "I d-didn't even know sh-she was an a-alien until later..."
"Still, I am eternally grateful for your assistance, Lady Rei, despite our initial friction," Neon bowed deeply to her. "Even if you began life as a mortal, unlike the others, I believe you are truly worthy of being a goddess." At hearing this, Rei squeaked as she buried her face in her hands in embarrassment...
"I think that's enough praise," Vert spoke up. "Poor Rei's going to pass out at this rate..."
"So, anyway, getting back on topic," Noire said, "if you're the Oracle, does that mean your goddess wants to meet us?"
"That is correct," the alien affirmed. "However, her... personality can be a bit off-putting, so I traveled here first to establish contact with all of you. Also, Ma'nabatea wished to ensure that this planet was not embroiled in conflict..."
"Mana-whatsis?" Neptune frowned as she tried to process the strange name.
"Oh, sorry, that is how I refer to my goddess," Neon explained. "She has gone by many names throughout her existence, however... I once knew her as Lilith, but she frowns on that name."
"Well, in some cultures, Lilith is known as the queen of demons, so it's no surprise she wouldn't like it," Blanc mused.
"Yeah, okay, then let's call her another of her many names, that doesn't twist the tongue into a knot, okay?" Neptune sighed. "And as far as conflict, we have had to deal with a few world-spanning threats... heck, Rei here used to be one of 'em."
"I'm sorry! I'm so very sorry!" the former final boss reflexively apologized.
"Yes, we know you're sorry," Noire deadpanned. "It was more than two games ago, so stop apologizing for it!"
"But to answer your question, other than a few really bad pranks, nothin' serious going on at the moment," Neptune finished.
"So then, when does your goddess wish to meet us?" Vert inquired.
"Ma'nabatea can meet you now, if you wish it," the alien Oracle replied. "However, we will have to go outside..."
"Ugh... I don't want to draw too much attention to you yet, though," Blanc grumbled. "If it gets out to the general populace that aliens have touched down before we have a chance to explain... well, a lot of them might react the same way Neptune did, maybe even worse. That's why I was so secretive about this to begin with..."
"Well, how about we go out to the far end of Iris Field?" Neptune suggested. "That should far enough away from civilization... we'll just have to bundle up a bit."
"Well, it's a good thing I brought along a heat pack for my breasts," Vert sighed.
"Why couldn't you wear a winter coat like the rest of us?" Noire lampshaded.
"I just wore a sweater under my parka dress," Neptune stated.
"Sh-should I c-come along t-too?" Rei asked.
"Of course," Neon replied. "You are a goddess, too, after all."
"Just make sure you go back to your human disguise once we get outside," Blanc cautioned the alien. "On that note, does 'Mana-tea' have a human form as well?"
"Ma'nabatea, and yes, she does," Neon said as she reverted to her human look. "Let us go, then..."
And so the five CPUs, one alien, Rom and Ram departed the Basilicom for Iris Field...
*To be continued...*