Snippet 168
Remnant's Simp Court
Genre: Humor
Pairs: Can't mention them because they'd spoil this story
Parody: RWBY/Toonzies/Camp Camp
AU-Type: Chibi-esque AU
Tags: Cardin is a judge, Simp is being sarcastically here, Toonzie's humor had to be adapted a bit, Censored for comedy, Ironchad the Judge
Notes: Toonzies, you keep making shorts. Love your work!
The scene was a courtroom where the bailiff making the announcements, which was Cardin.
Welcome to Simp Court!
Where we deal with simps and simpettes bending over backwards donating to Twitch thots/manwhores, being obedient pack mules, and being an insult to romance by respecting them as respecting human beings!
If you're watching this while doing this, you're a simp!
You're a f**king SIMP, bitch!
"All rise for the judge, the chad, the big-shot, James Ironwood!" Cardin said as everyone clapped.
Ironwood, dressed as a court judge, took his seat at the podium and called for the cheers to end as he took up his papers.
"All right, state your name for the courts." Ironwood said looking down at the one facing charges.
"Emerald Sustrai." Emerald said nervously.
"Miss Sustrai, it says here that you've been donating thousands of dollars to some thot on Twitch." Ironwood said as the people gasped. "Order! Order!"
"Man, what the f**k?!" Gwen snapped among others.
"She just has a nice personality and a beautiful voi…" Emerald stuttered trying to explain herself only for Ironwood to yell, "Don't you f**king lie to me, bitch! You just want this ho's attention! To which I show exhibit A!"
An image was soon of a screenshot of Cinder's Twitch stream with her in a bikini and a lollipop in her mouth. Big and broad, 'Sapphic2goodfordatPu$$y donated $5,000!' was there. The crowd gasped.
"This bitch is simpin'!" Gwen yelled from the back.
"No wait, I'm not a simpette! I'm struggling because…" Emerald said only to get cut off by Ironwood saying, "Honestly, I don't get why you simpin' for. You're clearly attractive enough to get someone's attention."
Emerald could only sputter as Sky declared her guilty. She was dragged away screaming about she was not a simp. Next to the stand was Whitley.
"Not my son!" Jaccques cried out.
"Whitley. You stand accused of…holding a girl's hand. Ok, that's not simp behavior." Ironwood said confused before looking over the papers. "Oh, wait no, the charge is for the Onlyfans account."
Projected on the screen was Whitley's Onlyfans with the username being 'WhitleygotdatWilly' and him following over 1000 thots.
"Wait, this asshole's following my mother!" Yang said horrified.
"Your honor, I can explain. I've been hacking Onlyfans to post the videos for them to be watched for free on ThotHub like a chad." Whitley said as the crowd gasped.
"That's actually impressive. While I am happy to say you're not a simp…you just confessed to some actual crimes that will get you sued and in prison. You should run." Ironwood said Whitley went wide-eyed.
"Oh f**k! Dad, ready the limo!" Whitley said running for the door. "We need to get to Atlas."
Ironwood sighed glad he was doing his life's work only for a judge of Simp Court only for a female voice calling for him to get to freeze. Robyn Hill had entered the scene.
"Hey IronChad, who dat?" Cardin asked from the crowd.
Ironwood was stone-faced inwardly singing to himself in hopes she just got the hint and leave. But no, she kept calling for him.
"Hey bro, she calling you." Gwen said as the crowd murmured.
"Why are you ignoring me?" Robyn asked. "Do I need to make you a drink?"
"Ironwood is simpin'!" Qrow bellowed as Ironwood jumped up on the desk screaming, "Watch yourself, you drunk bastard! I am not a simp!"
"You said, you'd help plan…"
Robyn was hit with a chair from Ironwood who had a bond one-liner for the end.
"I am no simp."
(A/N: This was weird. Straight up, bizarre to do.)