Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 8- Underling's Trap

"So not long after Neptune was born, I had to correct her misconception that a pregnant woman had eaten her baby," Histoire narrated to Haruhi and Neon, eliciting chuckles from the former, while the latter simply raised an eyebrow.

"Ugh, Histy, did you have to tell them that?!" the CPU in question buried her hands in her face.

"I never heard about that..." Nepgear realized. "But, that does kinda sound like something Neptune would do..."

"Yeah, I remember when my little sister asked me why this one woman's belly was so huge..." John Smith commented.

"It's always awkward, having to give someone 'The Talk', huh?" the Animenga goddess snickered. But then, something caught the corner of her eye, seeing a five-year-old girl come dashing into the room, heading straight for Neptune! "Incoming!" she cried.

Too late.

*BAM!*

"AAAHHHHHH!" Neptune cried in pain, slamming down hard on her back, the blonde child landing on the girl's midsection.

"AHHAHAHAHA! I win! You're still so weak, Neptuna!"

"Nnnnngh..." Neptune lifted her head up weakly. "H-hi there, P-ko... where'd you come from?"

"From home, silly!" came the reply.

"You know this child?" Neon guessed.

"Her name is Peashy," Nepgear explained. "She's an orphan that Neptune raised for a while... I like to think I helped too, but I was more of a punching bag than anything..."

"Don't you think you should've spanked her for that?" Haruhi pointed out.

"Pea was just playing with Gear!" Peashy protested as she jumped off Neptune. "Pea wasn't trying to hurt her like bad guys!"

"So you like to play 'hero', huh?" the brown-haired goddess walked over to Peashy, bending over to get a better look at the kid. "You use those cat paws to beat up the baddies?"

"That's right! Pea loves to beat up monsters and bad guys! Pow! Bam! Whack! Punch! It's so much fun!"

"That's so cute!" Haruhi chuckled as she ruffled Peashy's hair a little. "Just don't get in over your head, okay?"

"Pea can handle herself fine!" the blonde pouted. "Oh, that reminds Pea... there's a Punk Lady that wants to meet you, Neptuna! She uses bad words and calls CPUs dams for some reason..."

Neptune and Nepgear glanced at each other. "Um... what does this 'punk lady' look like, Peashy?" Nepgear asked.

"Umm..." Peashy closed her eyes in thought. "She got green hair, gray skin, wears a gray coat and a hood with mousey-ears!"

"Mousey-ears?!" The two sisters looked at each other again in realization. "Underling!"

"P-ko, where did you see her at?" Neptune queried.

"That park we go to all the time, with the tall twisty-slide!" the little girl replied.

"Okay, good girl!" the CPU smiled at her. "Why don't you go find Compa and have her make you some pudding as a reward!"

"Yay! I love pudding!" Peashy cried enthusiastically, promptly dashing out of the room.

"Will you require assistance in capturing this 'Underling'?" Neon asked.

"Nah, me and Nep Jr. can handle her ourselves easy," Neptune waved her off.

"Just as long as it's not another trap like she tried with Blanc," Nepgear pointed out.

"No worries, we're ready for her this time!" her sister stated optimistically. "But we better vamoose before she runs away on us again!"

"Well, if you don't come back in, say, a half-hour or so, we'll come after you!" Haruhi suggested.

"I appreciate it," Nepgear smiled in thanks. "Anyway we better get moving, like Neptune says..."

"I wish you good luck," Histoire said.

*Soon, at the park in question...*

"Any sign of her, Nep Jr?" Neptune asked as she and her sister walked down a paved trail, thier swords at the ready.

"Nothing yet," Nepgear shook her head. "But I'm sure she's around here somewhere..."

"Looking for someone, losers?" a familiar form stepped in front of the two goddesses.

"Underling! There you are!" Nepgear turned to face her old foe. "You've got some nerve, trying to trap Blanc in a bear trap the other day!"

"Yeah, well if it hadn't been for that stupid Warechu, I'd've got her for sure!" the punk girl growled. "But at least now I'm back in familiar territory!"

"Yeah, well you're about to go back to jail!" Neptune pointed her sword at Underling. "Unless you've got one heck of a good strategy for beating us, that is!"

"Heh..." Linda smirked. "My strategy is simple... RUN AWAY!" She abruptly did an about-face and fled!

"Wh-HEY! You can't just run before the fight even starts!" Neptune's eyes shrank to circles.

"After her, Neptune!" Nepgear cried as she started to pursue Underling, forcing her sister to try and catch up...

"Heh... hook, line and sinker," Linda said under her breath as the two CPUs chased her. "Come on and catch me, you slowpokes!" She rounded a large oak tree, Nepgear and Neptune following after... but then the punk girl threw herself flat on the ground, underneath what appeared to be a double-barreled cannon!

"Oh, snap! It was a trap!" Neptune cried as she and Nepgear tried to halt their forward momentum-

*BOOM!* The cannon fired twins globs of black goo which easily covered the goddesses, gluing them to the ground!

"Eww! What the goodness?!" Nepgear cried in disgust as she tried to pull her arms free to no avail.

"Ha ha! It worked!" Linda jumped to her feet. "Warechu, get the pillows!"

"Got 'em right here, chu!" the mouse answered, carrying a small tower of large pillows over his head. Underling promptly swiped the top pillow off the pile, before tearing it apart, spreading feathers all over Neptune and Nepgear!

"What the- pfffft! Ptooey!" Neptune spat as some feathers got in her mouth.

"Cover 'em! Cover 'em!" Linda cried in glee as she and Warechu ripped up more pillows, spilling more and more feathers until the two sisters were completely covered. "In the old days, they called this 'tarring and feathering'!"

"This is your idea of revenge?!" Nepgear cried in disbelief, shaking her head as she tried to stop the feathers from obscuring her vision.

"Well, my boss says I can't kill you losers, but this is pretty satisfying, too!" Linda chuckled as she pulled out her cell phone. "Now say cheese, suckers!" She began to snap pictures of the feathered sisters, Warechu posing in front of them! "Wonder how your citizens'll react when they see you completely humiliated like this!"

"I'll bet they'll laugh their heads off, chu!" Warechu taunted as he gently poked at Neptune.

"P-tooey! Back off, mouse!" Neptune said as she finally got the feathers out of her mouth. "You don't seriously think this tar's enough to hold me down, do ya?"

"Yeah, I do, chu!" the rodent retorted.

"Ehhhhht! Wrong answer!" With that, the CPU was suddenly engulfed in a pillar of light! When it faded, Purple Heart floated in the air above, free of the tar and feathers!

"Uh-oh!" Linda's eyes went wide with fear.

"Hurry, Nepgear, you transform as well!"

"Oh, right, our HDD! I completely forgot!" Nepgear giggled, before promptly transforming and freeing herself as well.

"Double uh-oh!" Underling and Warechu cried as they clung to each other in terror!

"Now then, Underling," Purple Heart shifted her sword into an attack pose, "if you're quite finished with your little prank, I believe it is time you returned to prison."

"Shit! RUN AWAY FOR REAL!" Linda screamed as she took off, carrying Warechu over her shoulder as the HDD goddesses flew after in pursuit!

"You won't escape, Underling!" Purple Sister declared... only to stop as several anthropomorphic ravens suddenly blocked her path! "W-what the goodness?! Get out of the way!"

"Not on your life, caww!" one of the ravens taunted as they surrounded the CPUs.

"What in the- Tenga?!" Purple Heart gasped in recognition. "But why are they here in Planeptune?!"

"Looks like they want to fight!" Nepgear said grimly, holding her laser blade in a defensive stance as the two stood back-to-back.

"Well, if it is a fight they want, then a fight they shall have!" Neptune exclaimed, before going on the attack!

*To be continued...*