Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation
A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction
by Derald Snyder
Chapter 9- Enter Dragon Ball
*Planeptune Basilicom*
"So, after Nepgear broke the cursed sword, the CPUs and Oracles gathered back together, and we figured out a way to reforge the sword using Sharicite from all the nations... Excuse me, wake up! Pay attention!" Histoire yelled.
"GAH-!" Haruhi jerked awake. "Ugh, sorry... I get so bored with lectures sometimes..."
"Milady, please try to be more attentive," Neon sighed. "It's bad form to fall asleep on your host, you know..."
"Yeah, at least I'm trying to pay attention," John Smith piled on. "After all, this might give me an edge on my next history exam..."
"Right, right..." the Animenga goddess sighed, before yawning. "Hey, how about we check on Neptune and her sister? They should've been back by now, anyway..." Waving her hand, something like a holo-screen materialized in front of the group, showing Neptune and Nepgear in their HDD forms! "Uh-oh, they're in a fight with some giant bird-men! And badly outnumbered!"
(Music- 'Tenga Bye Bye'- Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, season 3)
"Should we go assist them, Lady Haruhi?" Neon requested.
"Just keep me out of it," John said as he got up and backed off a ways.
"Cut me some slack, Kyon, I wouldn't throw you into a situation like that!" the goddess shook her head. "Anyway, Neon, let's go! Stick to hand-to-hand, so we don't blow our cover!"
"Understood!" the Oracle agreed. With that, reality shifted around the duo as they warped to the park! The alien girl immediately went into action, striking a nearby Tenga in the throat, before kicking him in the knee-joint, then following up with a quick roundhouse that sent the raven to the ground!
"Hee-ya!" Haruhi yelled as she jumped and wrapped her legs around a Tenga's head, before flipping him violently to the ground! She then spun and tripped another Tenga to the ground, before jumping up and giving the raven a few kicks to the head to ensure he stayed down.
"Caww! Where'd these two come from?!" Another Tenga cried in panic, barely dodging a sword strike from Purple Heart!
"Haruhi, Neon, you're here!" Purple Sister acknowledged as she blasted the bird-men with her arm cannon!
"We told you we'd come for ya if you got in trouble!" the alien goddess asserted as she flip-kicked one Tenga into another. She then did an impromptu handstand on another Tenga's shoulders, before swinging her feet down and knocking the raven flat, rolling backwards into a fighting stance! "Any more wanna try me?!"
"Milady, don't antagonize them!" Neon chastised as she dodged a Tenga's punch, grabbing and pulling in the same direction, causing the bird to trip on a tree root and crash to the ground! Another one tried to drop on her from above, but alien managed to flip him to the ground, before stomping on his crotch, causing the bird to screech in pain! Yet another Tenga flew in to help his comrade, but Neon leaped and kicked him squarely in the solar plexus, causing him to fall to the earth in a heap!
"They're too much for us! Let's get outta here, caww!" The Tenga promptly took flight and fled into the sky to fight another day.
"Yeah, that's right, you better run, birdbrains!" Haruhi called after them. "Neptune, Nep Jr, you two okay?"
"They appear to be unharmed," her Oracle observed.
"We are grateful for your assistance, unnecessary though it was," Purple Heart stated.
"I-it's Nepgear, but yes, thanks for helping," Purple Sister said as she and Neptune reverted to normal. "Too bad Underling got away, though..." She then explained what had transpired...
"Tar and feathers? Seriously?" Haruhi ducked her head. "So she was just taking embarrassing pictures, huh?"
"Well, they could affect our Shares negatively..." Nepgear began, before screaming in surprise as another woman just appeared next to Haruhi! "W-what the goodness?! Who is that?!"
The woman in question had two fingers pressed to her forehead with her eyes closed in apparent concentration, though she quickly withdrew her fingers and opened her eyes, which were black in color. Her hair was also black, and slightly spiky, which contrasted with the sleeveless orange karate gi she wore. The woman also wore blue boots and a blue undershirt which showed some slight cleavage from her B+ bust, as well as a wooden staff on her back and what appeared to be a monkey's tail wrapped around her waist. She turned to the Animenga goddess and started complaining in an alien language...
"Oh, geesh, you just had to show up out of nowhere, didn't you?!" Haruhi facepalmed, before sighing and snapping her fingers. "Okay, everyone can understand you now."
"Lady Lilith, why did you just disappear on me?! I was just about to challenge you to a rematch, and you were nowhere to be found!" the mysterious woman complained. "I just barely managed to find Neon's energy with Instant Transmission!"
"Okay, first of all, don't call me Lilith!" Haruhi yelled at her. "You know I dislike that name! While we're here, you call me Lady Haruhi! Second, as a goddess I've got far more important things to deal with than satisfying your stupid bloodlust!"
"You could've at least left a note or something!" the woman retorted.
"Whoa, whoa, time-out!" Neptune interrupted. "Haruhi, who is this girl anyway?!"
"You might say she's... a disciple of mine," the brunette replied. "DB, introduce yourself. And keep in mind that these two are goddesses like myself, so show the proper respect!"
"Of course!" the disciple nodded, turning and bowing to Neptune and Nepgear. "Hello, I'm Dragon Ball! Nice to meet you!"
"Heya! I'm Neptune, and this is my little sister Nepgear! We're the goddesses of Planeptune, where you happen to be right now!"
"Hello there, Miss Dragon Ball!" Nepgear greeted politely.
"Just Dragon Ball is fine. Or you can call me DB!" the raven-haired woman said. "So, why are we here, anyway?"
"Basically, one of Neptune's neighboring nations launched a satellite into our cluster that we intercepted," Neon explained. "So we decided to establish first contact with the people of this world. Lady Haruhi and I are currently in this nation to learn about the history of this world, which is known as Gamindustri."
"Wait, this world's outside the whole cluster?!" Dragon Ball freaked. "Man, no wonder it was so hard to find you!"
"Since you said something about a rematch, I'm guessing you're a martial artist, Dragon Ball?" Nepgear inquired.
"You know it! There's nothing I love more than a good fight!" DB grinned. "I actually tried fighting Lili- *ahem* I mean, Lady Haruhi awhile back, but I stood no chance at all..."
"I was visiting the overseer-god for her world," Haruhi explained, "and this idiot challenged me, thinking that because she was stronger than said overseer, she could take me. So I decided to teach her a lesson, let her power up to max, then I gave her a flick to the forehead and a chop to the neck- down she went. Served her right for thinking she was on the level of the divine..."
"Aw, come on, I told you I don't care about being a god!" Dragon Ball said with a hand behind her head.
"If that's the case, why'd you take her as a disciple?" Neptune queried.
"Well, as it turned out, she's actually a survivor of a near-extinct warrior race," the Animenga goddess said. "And she managed to discover a ritual where her other fellow survivor and their children combined their powers to boost her up to a level where I actually had to put in a bit of effort to defeat her next time."
"At which point milady decided that it was too dangerous to leave Dragon Ball to her own devices, so she decided to take her under her wing, to keep a watchful eye over her," Neon finished.
"Sheesh, I don't think of myself as a hero of justice or anything like that, but I'm no villain, either!" DB sighed in annoyance.
"Anyway, how 'bout we continue this conversation back at the Basilicom?" Neptune suggested. "Haruhi, if you could warp us all back, please..."
"No problem!" the brunette agreed, raising a hand, causing the scene to shift from the park to inside the Basilicom where Histoire and John Smith were.
"Oh, welcome back," the all-seeing tome greeted. "I see you have a new companion with you..."
"Hiya, I'm Dragon Ball!" the fighter introduced herself. "I'm training under Lady Lilith- I mean, Haruhi- to surpass all my limits!"
"She's like a friendly blood knight," Neptune clarified, then an idea occurred to her. "Hey, I know! Maybe Uzume could use a sparring partner!"
"Hey, sure, I'm up for that!" DB punched a fist into her hand.
"If you're gonna fight, take it outside to a wide-open space!" Haruhi warned. "Also, please try not to start destroying the landscape like you usually do! It's so much hassle having to clean up after your messes, ya know!"
"Ahaha, I'll try not to," Dragon Ball grinned sheepishly. "So where's this Uzume at?"
"Well, her energy should be similar to ours, so you could probably use your Instant Transmission to teleport to her," Nepgear suggested.
"Alrighty then," the martial artist assented, closing her eyes and putting two fingers to her forehead. "...Okay, I think I've found her!" With that, she abruptly vanished into thin air.
"Hope Uzume doesn't get too surprised by her," Neptune muttered. "Anyway... sorry, Histy, but Underling got away from us, even after we escaped her trap..."
"Apparently it involved tar and feathers," Neon supplied. "And that underling took several pictures as well..."
"...I warned you about this, Neptune," Histoire sighed. "False confidence is the greatest enemy. Even knowing that Underling had nearly caught Blanc in a trap that she only escaped by luck, you still ended up falling into her trap anyway, even if you did manage to escape... and if those pictures she took ended up being posted on the Internep, it could have a negative impact on your Shares..."
"Unless they think it's funny and laugh their heads off," Haruhi suggested.
"We might have still been able to capture her if those bird-men hadn't interfered," Nepgear helpfully pointed out.
"Yeah, what's the deal with those freaks, anyway?" the alien goddess queried. "Are they her minions or something?"
"Actually, they were working for a Demon Lord that tried to conquer Vert's nation a short time ago," Neptune explained. "But, we sent that demon packing, and those Tenga were supposed to be locked up at Leanbox City Zoo, with a dome force-field and everything!"
"Is it possible that they somehow escaped?" Neon suggested.
"If so," Histoire spoke up, "then we should contact Vert as soon as possible, so she can investigate the situation..."
*Later, back at Ho-Hum HQ...*
"I'm sorry, Overlord Momus, sir!" Linda kneeled and bowed her head to the ground in fear. "Please don't punish us for failing you!"
"W-we didn't think they'd free themselves so easily, chu!" Warechu added, hunched in a similar position.
"...Answer me this," Momus spoke after a moment, "did you manage to take the pictures?"
"Y-yeah, I did! Got 'em right here!" Linda fumbled for a moment before taking out her phone and holding it up. The horned man took the mobile device and started scrolling through the pictures...
"...Well, excellent photography," he commented after a moment. "Despite events going sideways at the last moment, we can still upload these on Nepimgur for all to see. At the very least, Neptune and Nepgear should feel quite humiliated upon seeing these, which will likely earn them a lecture from their Oracle. So, we'll call this a 'tentative success'. You may rise."
"R-really?!" Linda gasped, slowly rising to her feet. "Y-you're not gonna punish us, then?"
"No. If anything, the failure was mine," Overlord Momus lamented. "I failed to anticipate that the CPUs could simply use their transformations to free themselves..." Something then caught his eye, seeing Dogoo Man and Peashy walk in, the latter in her HDD form of Yellow Heart, the two carrying a couple of injured Tenga, with the rest of the birds coming in behind them. "Ah, welcome back. It seems we have a few casualties..."
"We got surprised by two more girls showing up, caww!" complained the Tenga being carried by Yellow Heart. "They were good, really good! And they didn't even have weapons like the CPUs, caww!"
"Describe them to me," Momus ordered. So the ravens did as ordered... "Haruhi and Neon, you say? Hmmm..."
"Oh, I know who they are!" Yellow Heart exclaimed. "Those were the two girls with Neptuna, Gear and Histy when I went to visit!"
"Truly?!" the horned man jerked his head up. "Then... they must have been the alien goddess and her Oracle! They must have somehow divined that Neptune and Nepgear were in distress and went to assist them! We may have escaped utter ruination by the skin of our teeth!"
"Boy, guess it's a good thing we escaped when we did, huh?" Dogoo Man stated. "Not even my muscles could've done anything against those aliens, I bet!"
"So why didn't they just vaporize us, caww?" one Tenga spoke up.
"Obviously, they are trying to stay under the radar until the time comes for them to reveal themselves publicly," Momus responded. "So for the time being, we should restrict our operations in Planeptune to those that cannot be easily traced back to us..."
"So what's goin' on in the other nations, chu?" Warechu asked.
"Generic Ninja #25 is en route to Planeptune to glean further information," the leader stated. "Generic Thief #11 and Generic Animal #10 are in a 'holding pattern' on the outskirts of Gargan City, but Generic Soldier #20 is preparing to enact a plot in Lastation, since that appears to be the last location the aliens will visit..."
"So what should we do?" Dogoo Man asked his boss.
"You will accompany Miss Linda and Warechu to Leanbox to join up with the other two, and await my order to move against Vert," Momus ordered. "Citrus, you should return to Neptune for the time being, so as not to arouse suspicion."
"Okay!" Yellow Heart saluted. "You three have fun without me!" With that, she promptly spread her wings and flew off...
"The only fun I'll have is screwing those CPUs over," Linda muttered. "Hopefully next time I won't have to run like a Choco-*ahem* 'riding bird' with it's head cut off..."
"Hey watch it, those are distant relatives of ours!" a Tenga complained. "Would you like it if we talked about cutting a monkey's head off, caww?!"
Overlord Momus could only face-palm as Underling and the bird-men started arguing. (Ugh, I suppose beggars can't be choosers when it comes to minions... But still, what a bunch of idiots...)
*To be continued...*