Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation
A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction
by Derald Snyder
Chapter 12- Chaos in Planeptune
*Planeptune Basilicom*
"So, in the end, the Rei from the other place finally got control over her power with help from Sadie," Neptune narrated to Haruhi and the others. "As for our Rei, she got put on trial, but because she didn't remember anything, she got found not guilty by reason of insanity and exiled to Lowee, where she eventually met this big hotshot lawyer and became the Ace Attorney we know and love today!"
"We did testify in Rei's defense," Nepgear supplemented. "That was probably a big factor in persuading the jury..."
"I had heard some details about how Rei Ryghts became a goddess to begin with, but she didn't like to talk about it much," Neon Evangelion observed. "I sensed it was rather painful for her, so I did not pry further..."
"Yeah, it was nice to have the proper context," Haruhi concurred. "This 'Sadie' seems like a real piece of work, though... if I were human, I wouldn't wanna meet her in a dark alley..."
"Me neither," Kyon/John Smith deadpanned.
"Ploot's only bad when she gets big!" Peashy protested. "Ploot is really, really nice when she's Ploot!"
"You mean when she's not HDD," Kyon clarified. "Still not sure I'd want to meet her in person... but of course, now that I've said that, she's probably gonna walk in the door any minute..."
"Talk about paranoid," Haruhi rolled her eyes. But at that moment...
"Hello, Neppy~? Have you seen Peashy any... oh, there you are!" A young girl with purple hair done in a single large braid wearing pajamas walked in, carrying a Neptune plush in one hand.
"Hiya, Ploot!" the five-year-old greeted happily. "Neptuna was just telling Haru-ni and Nee-on how she first met you an' me!"
"Holy crap!" the alien goddess gasped in disbelief. "Kyon, are you psychic or something?!"
"It is a possibility to consider," Neon agreed, her eyes darting to the plush in Plutia's hand. "Please remove that doll from my sight."
"Huh...? My Neppy doll? But why?" Plutia wondered.
"She's got issues with dolls," Haruhi jumped in. "Childhood trauma, so to speak... just leave it in the other room or something, okay?"
"But, it's just cloth and stuffing... it can't hurt you, see~?" the sleepy CPU said, tossing the plushie into Neon's lap, causing the girl to uncharacteristically scream and frantically rip the doll to shreds, stuffing flying everywhere!
"Ahahahaha~! That was funny!" Peashy laughed. "You're so silly, Nee-on!"
The alien Oracle panted as she swiftly brushed the last of the stuffing off her, before collapsing on her back side. "Please... never do that again..."
"Aww... that wasn't very nice..." Plutia said with her head bowed.
"Uh, Plutie, there's no need to go over the edge here, okay?" Neptune babbled nervously.
"Right, no need to assume your Sadie dominatrix form," Haruhi appealed to the pajama-clad CPU. "I would ask you to leave my Oracle's penalty to me..."
"Oracle...? So you're a goddess too~?" Plutia inquired curiously.
"Yup! They're actually aliens, from waaaaay out in the Animenga Star Cluster," Neptune proclaimed.
"Aliens...? So you're trying to invade and conquer Neppy's world?" Plutia said menacingly as she began to glow with power...
"Oh, shit! Hide hide hide!" John Smith cried in panic, scrambling to the far end of the room and trying to hide beneath a large beanbag. Not a moment later, the room was filled with light...
"Oh, no! Why'd she have to transform?!" Nepgear cried in fear as the light faded, revealing Iris Heart.
"Ahhhh!" Neon's face turned even paler than usual, shuffling backwards... "My goddess, save me!"
"It seems my reputation precedes me," the dominatrix chuckled as she materialized a riding crop. "Now, which one of you naughty aliens should I punish first for trying to abduct my dear Neppy~?"
"You'll not lay a finger on her," Haruhi stepped in front of her Oracle protectively. "How about we take this outside? You and me, one-on-one. Do you accept, or yield?"
Iris Heart's smile widened slightly. "I accept. I can tell I'll have some fun with you..."
"Good. In that case..." the brunette raised a hand, herself and Iris promptly fading away.
"I hope she knows what she's doing..." Nepgear demurred.
"Aw, I wanted to play too!" Peashy whined. "No fair!"
Neon looked over at the child incredulously. "You think that their impending fight is-" the alien was abruptly cut off as she was suddenly encased in a block of ice!
"What the goodness?!" Nepgear gasped, seeing a mysterious man standing over Neon that she knew hadn't been there a moment ago.
(Music- 'Hi Spec Robo Go!', Sonic Mania)
"Hello, ladies. Nice to meet you again," the man greeted, holding a translucent blue sword in one hand.
"YOU!" Neptune cried upon hearing the man's voice. "You're the evil server who fed me that eggplant pudding!"
"Indeed, but it seems my attempt at poisoning you didn't quite pan out, so I'm trying the more direct approach." The mystery man promptly slid a bandanna over his nose and mouth before declaring, "I am Generic Ninja #25 of Ho-Hum! Prepare to become icicles at the hands of my magical blade!"
"We'll see about that, villain!" Neptune said as she brandished her katana, Nepgear also equipping her laser blade. "P-ko, transform and try to break Neon outta that ice block! We'll handle this boss fight!"
"OK!" Peashy nodded, assuming her HDD form of Yellow Heart. "Don't worry, Neon, I'll get you outta there!" she exclaimed as she started hacking at the ice block with her claws.
"Hm!" Generic Ninja #25 grunted as he charged at blinding speed- but the two goddesses were no slowpokes either, managing to roll away and evade his ice sword! "Not bad, but how about this?!" He flipped through the air, pitching two large shuriken down at his targets...
"Too slow!" Neptune taunted as she easily sidestepped the throwing stars- only to get knocked off her feet when they exploded! "Exploding ninja stars?! No nepping fair!" She managed to bring her katana up to parry Ninja #25's sword strike- only for her sword to freeze up to and including her hands up to the wrists! "C-can't even p-parry?!"
"That's what you get for complacency! Now die!" the man declared as jumped into the air again-
"Panzer Blade!" Nepgear cried as she intercepted their enemy in midair with an aerial slash, knocking him off-rhythm and making him eat the entire five-slash combo!
"N-nice work, N-Nep Jr! My turn!" Neptune grunted as she tried to ignore the freezing pain in her hands... "C-Cross Combination!" Generic Ninja #25 managed to get up and partially parry the attack, but the force knocked him out of the reading room and into the hallway! The CPU quickly took advantage of this brief respite to break the ice off her hands and sword. Nepgear then followed up with a Slash Wave, only for the shinobi to evade by jumping in the air again, hurling more explosive shuriken at the duo, making them jump and roll to evade!
"We have to get him when he's in the air, Neptune!" Nepgear relayed to her sister. "That's the only time he lowers his guard!"
"Rightcha!" Neptune nodded, dodging to the side as their enemy rushed in and swung again, taking advantage of the wider space in the hallway! Undeterred, Ninja #25 unleashed a wave of ice from his blade, freezing the goddesses' feet to the ground! "F-fish biscuits...!"
"And now you become ice sculptures!" the man said as he rushed in for the kill, only to see a beanbag cushion coming at him from the left, instinctively slashing it into two frozen halves! Neptune and Nepgear quickly used this distraction to transform to HDD and free themselves. "Curses! To be foiled by an NPC of all people!"
"Thank you, John Smith," Purple Heart acknowledged, pointing a finger to the ceiling. "32-Bit Mega Blade!" Ninja #25 jumped into the air to evade the giant energy sword, only to get blasted out of the air by Purple Sister's arm cannon! "And now, Victory Slash!" The shinobi tried to parry the attack, only for his ice sword to shatter as he himself was thrown through a nearby window from the force, glass shards spraying through the air!
But when the two goddesses flew outside, they couldn't spot their adversary anywhere! "Where'd he go?!" Purple Sister inquired in disbelief as she looked this way and that.
"Well, he is a ninja... he likely decided to cut his losses and disappear into the shadows after losing his sword," Purple Heart mused. "But to evade our sight in broad daylight... his stealth ability is at least equal to that of Steamax..." She then flew back inside, Nepgear following behind, the two then reverting to normal. "Well, hopefully that'll teach him to sneak eggplants into my pudding, at least..."
"Neptuna!" Yellow Heart ran out of the reading room, holding a shivering blue Neon in her arms. "Look, I got her out~! She's still kinda cold, but..."
"Good work, P-ko!" the CPU nodded and smiled, only to nearly get thrown off her feet as a loud BOOM! echoed through the air, the shockwave rocking the Basilicom! "W-what was that?!"
"L-Lady Haruhi... it-t w-was her p-power..." Neon managed to get out through chattering teeth. A few seconds later, the goddess in question reappeared, holding a prone, bruised Plutia in her arms. A cut was visible on Haruhi's right cheek, and her clothing had a few tears here and there.
"Damn, looks like you had a rough time of it," John Smith observed as he entered the hallway.
"I know," the brunette replied. "I can definitely see now why everyone fears this one in HDD form..."
"Holy nep, you beat Sadie?!" Neptune gasped as her eyes shrank to circles. "Okaaaay~, I'm scared now...!"
"A-at least she's on our side," Nepgear said, though she looked a bit intimidated herself.
"M-my g-goddess is i-invincib-ble..." Neon grunted as she tried to warm herself by rubbing her arms.
"Neon?! What happened to you?!" Haruhi gasped as she finally noticed her Oracle's condition, gently setting Plutia on the floor..
"Ninja sneak attack," Neptune explained. "Called himself Generic Ninja #25 of Ho-Hum, whatever that means..."
"And he was the guy who poisoned Lady Neptune's pudding with eggplant," Kyon supplied. "He might have won, too, if I hadn't distracted him at the last second..."
"Whoa, seriously?! Good work, Kyon," the alien goddess said, before turning to Yellow Heart, doing a double-take upon seeing her extremely large bust. "A-are those real?!"
"Oh yeah, they're real, alright," Neptune sighed. "Blame that Anonydeath guy for that..."
"The creepy trans robot guy, right?" Haruhi recalled.
"Daddy's not creepy!" Peashy protested as she set Neon down, before reverting to her five-year-old appearance. "Daddy is Daddy and Pea loves him a lot! So there! Pbbbbbht!"
"...Right," the brunette decided not to argue, turning her attention to her Oracle. "Don't worry, Neon, I'll warm you right up," she assured her as she leaned over Neon's face...
...and kissed her right on the lips. The bluenette's red eyes went wide, her blue skin swiftly turning to beet red before abruptly passing out from shock. "Works every time!"
"Yep, nepping called it," Neptune deadpanned. "Hey Haruhi, you need a bandage for that cut on your cheek?"
"Huh? Oh right..." the Animenga goddess waved a hand over herself, her battle damage vanishing like it had never occurred. "Thanks for reminding me. And on that note..." She snapped her fingers, Dragon Ball and Uzume suddenly appearing in the hallway, the latter holding a Swiffer duster in one hand. "DB, you mind telling me why you didn't help these two when they got attacked?!"
"Huh?! Oh, uh... because I remember what happened last time I tried to walk out of a penalty," the martial artist shivered briefly in fear. "I mean, I was tracking their energy... if either of them were about to die, I would've teleported to them!"
"They would've become ice cubes if it hadn't been for Kyon!" Haruhi pointed out. "But, I get your reasoning, so I'll let you off this time..."
"Ice cubes?! Uh, excuse me, I walked into the middle of this conversation," Uzume spoke up. "Someone mind telling me what went down?!"
"The bad ninja froze Nee-on, and tried to freeze Neptuna and Gear too!" Peashy exclaimed. "But the bad ninja got sent out the window and he ran away!"
"Out the window?!" the redhead gasped. "But, that's like, several stories up! How is he not dead?"
"Not the first assassin that's survived 'certain death', I'm sure..." Dragon Ball mused. "Believe me, I speak from experience..."
*Ho-Hum HQ*
"You're saying you failed due to an NPC's interference?" Overlord Momus said in mild surprise.
"I blame myself," Generic Ninja #25 lamented from the monitor. "I forgot that this is a fan-fiction, not a video game, so the usual rule of NPCs not interfering in boss fights doesn't necessarily apply here..."
"Indeed, I expected better of you," Momus agreed. "Speaking of which, didn't I order you to Planeptune specifically for reconnaissance only?"
"I saw a window of opportunity when the alien goddess was preoccupied with Iris Heart, so I took it," the shinobi explained. "Speaking of which, it seems her Oracle is easily defeated if caught off-guard... the goddess Haruhi would seem to be the only real threat to our operations, depending on how deeply she decides to involve herself."
"I see... well, I shall let you off the hook this once," stated Momus, "but I would advise not taking such a reckless risk again. For now, return to base."
"Understood, Overlord Momus."
*To be continued...*