Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation
A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction
by Derald Snyder
Chapter 14- Conference Call 2
*Planeptune Basilicom*
"He had short black hair!" Neptune exclaimed.
"And he wore sunglasses, and a bandanna over his face!" Nepgear added.
"And he wore a black shirt and black denim jeans! I think he was tryin' to go for a 'modern-day ninja' look!"
"Alright, alright..." IF grunted as she scribbled the information down on a pad of paper. "Still a bit vague, but I'll get this out to the Guild immediately... No guarantee we'll find the guy, though, especially if he's a ninja..."
"Ah, there you are," Histoire said as she floated into the room. "I was just contacted by Vert, she needs to speak with you all immediately..."
"What, did some evil ninja try to assassinate her, too?" Neptune pondered.
"Not exactly," the fairy shook her head, "more along the lines of an incident involving Underling... but she's found some information that ties together all the incidents we've been having lately..."
"I knew it! It's a new evil organization, isn't it?!" the CPU snarked. "And right after we told Neon there weren't any world-spanning threats! Leave it to the bad guys to make liars out of us!"
"It is fine," the alien Oracle shook her head. "I am more than willing to aid you in this conflict, if milady wishes it..."
"Of course! And I can help a little, too!" Haruhi concurred. "But first, let's go see what Vert has to say!"
*Leanbox Basilicom, Vert's Room*
"Thank you all for answering on such short notice," Vert spoke to Neptune and the other CPUs on the conference call.
"Well, you said this was important," Blanc said. "I put writing my new novel on hold for this, so be grateful..."
"You said this was related to the attack on Uni, right?" Noire reiterated.
"Exactly," the busty blonde nodded. "I just rescued Peach and Chika from an embarrassing situation involving Underling... but she wasn't acting alone. Indeed, she has joined a sinister organization known as the House of Humiliation, or Ho-Hum for short."
"Ho-Hum?!" Noire gasped. "So it's not just us in Lastation they're going after!"
"Heyyy, that ninja said something about Ho-Hum too!" Neptune realized.
"Well, that explains a few things," Blanc nodded. "I suppose it's safe to assume that they're trying to damage our Shares by putting us in humiliating situations, given their name..."
"That's right," Vert nodded, "Unfortunately Chika and Peach walked right into their trap, and ended up tied up and nearly naked. It also seems that some pictures were taken that got out onto the Internep, which is why they've shut themselves up in their rooms at the moment. I've directed Cybercrime to try to track down and delete every copy of those photos they can find, but..."
"Yeah, we've been trying to get rid of those pics of Neptune and Nepgear being all tarred and feathered, but it hasn't been easy," IF said with a sweat-drop.
"Fortunately, it seems the citizens found them more amusing than anything, so our Shares actually went up a little," Histoire pointed out with a small sweat-drop of her own.
"Just like I said, they probably laughed their heads off seeing 'em like that," Haruhi stated with a smirk and a nod.
"Sure, it's funny for you, but Uni almost got killed!" Noire shot back with a blood vein on her forehead.
"Hey, that ninja tried to turn us into frozen pops, ya know!" Neptune retorted. "That's not exactly funny, either!"
"Yeah, AND he froze Neon solid!" Haruhi added. "And an attack on my Oracle is an attack on me! So do we know who else is part of this 'House of Humiliation'? I know there's the ninja, for starters..."
"He called himself Generic Ninja #25," Nepgear supplied.
"Ah! Uni said the guy who attacked her called himself Generic Soldier #20!" Noire gasped. "And the one who ransacked her gun collection was Generic Thief #11!"
"I met her during our recent altercation," Vert nodded. "Besides her and Underling, there was Warechu, as well as Tekken's pet bear Kuma and Dogoo Man!"
"...is this the same Dogoo Man that works for S-Sha of the Gold Third?" Blanc queried.
"One and the same," the Leanbox CPU confirmed. "Apparently they tried to recruit S-Sha herself, but..."
"She wasn't interested," all the other CPUs spoke in unison. Elsewhere in Leanbox, S-Sha sneezed, causing a Dogoo Lady to freak that she might have a virus.
"So that's seven members so far..." IF summarized. "And if the Tenga are working for Ho-Hum, that means that ex-Demon Lord is probably part of their ranks as well..."
"But none of them are smart or charismatic enough to be the leader," Noire pointed out. "Which means someone's pulling strings in the shadows, behind the scenes..."
"I'll be sure to let the Guild know about this, and pass it on to the intelligence agencies in the other nations, so they can keep their ears open for more info or potential plots," Iffy proposed. "If you'll excuse me..."
"Good luck, Iffy!" Neptune called as her friend left the room.
"By the way," Nepgear spoke up, "I hope I don't sound paranoid, but where is Uni right now? And Rom and Ram, for that matter?"
"Uni's busy reorganizing her gun vault right now," Noire answered. "I've got K-Sha and a small police detail on watch to make sure she doesn't get ambushed again..."
"Financier took Rom and Ram out to Super Nintend Land," Blanc said. "I'll give her a call and tell her to be on the lookout for strange bird-men..."
"Probably a good idea," Haruhi nodded. "Anyway... Neon, Kyon, I think it's time."
"Time for what?" Kyon asked curiously. The alien goddess responded by snapping her fingers- and suddenly the two of them along with Neon were standing next to Vert!
"Oh my!" the busty blonde gasped in surprise. "A-a little warning would be nice next time..."
"Yeah, I second that..." Kyon grunted, slightly disoriented.
"Hey, wait a nep!" Neptune protested. "I haven't even got to tell you how we met Uzume!"
"It's all right, Neptune, I can tell them the gist of what happened," Vert assured her.
"Hey, wait a minute, what about me?!" Dragon Ball yelled as she shoved herself into the room with Neptune & co.
"You're staying there, in case that ninja tries another sneak attack," Haruhi ordered. "And also, if you decide to spar with Uzume again, no transforming! I don't need you leveling the city by accident or something, got it?!"
"Okay, okay..." DB sighed in a defeated tone.
"And also, Neptune, could you apologize to Plutia for me when she wakes up?" the alien goddess requested. "And try to make it clear to her that we're not bad aliens..."
"No promises, but I'll try," Neptune nodded.
"Anyway, getting back to Ho-Hum," Noire cut in, "I think for now we should put up wanted posters and BOLOs for the currently known members..."
"What are bolas gonna do?" Neptune asked confusedly.
"BOLOs, not 'bolas'," Vert corrected her. "It stands for 'Be On the Look-Out'... although, it probably won't work for Kuma, since he looks just like any other grizzly bear out there. Even Peach couldn't tell the difference until he started using karate moves..."
"Maybe, but any bear that goes after the citizens is bad news, trained or not," Blanc pointed out. "So we could tell the authorities to update us on any unusual bear activity..."
"That could work," Noire nodded. "But does Tekken know about this? I'm leaning towards not."
"Yes, we should try and contact her as soon as we can," Vert concurred. "Of course, given that she's a wandering martial artist, that might be a bit difficult..."
"I could just summon her here if you want," Haruhi offered. "I need a clear picture of her, though."
"Oh, thank you, Haruhi, that would be a great help," Vert smiled. "In the meantime, everyone, stay on your guard."
"We will," Noire nodded.
"Of course," Blanc assented.
"Yeppers, we won't get ambushed again!" Neptune promised. "Bye for now!" The other goddesses said goodbye as the call disconnected.
*Meanwhile, in Super Nintend Land...*
"Help! Help!" Ram cried.
"Run away!" Rom also screamed, the twins running as fast as they could, being pursued by a giant turtle-monster with horns and a mane with red hair! Said turtle monster roared as it breathed fire into the sky, continuing its pursuit...
"We gotta get to the bridge!" Ram said. "It's our only chance!"
"Right!" Rom nodded, the two heading for a bridge that spanned across a river of lava. Unfortunately, the bridge was more than strong enough to hold the turtle-monster's weight as it stomped after them!
"Hit the switch!" Ram ordered, she and Rom leaping and stomping on the large round button just beyond the bridge! Two axes swung down, cutting the support ropes, the giant turtle screaming as it dropped into the lava, one clawed hand reaching upwards before it sank under.
The two CPU Candidates collapsed in relief, chests heaving with heavy breaths as an attendant walked up to them. "So," he began, what did you think of our new 'Outrun Turtlezilla' attraction?"
"Th-that was..." Ram gasped. "...totally AWESOME!"
"I-it was s-scary, though..." Rom grunted.
"It's just a robot, it's not programmed to hurt you," the NPC pointed out. "All it does is grab you and roar, and then it's game over."
"Y-you should have t-told us that before we tried it..." the blue-clad twin sighed as she stood up.
"Aw, don't be such a scaredy-cat, Rom! That was fun!" Ram exclaimed happily. But then, several anthropomorphic ravens descended around the three! "Whoa! Is this another new attraction?!"
"I don't know these guys!" the NPC attendant looked around frantically.
"Caww! We're the Tenga!" the birds introduced themselves. "And we've got orders to kidnap you baby goddesses!"
"K-kidnap?!" Rom's eyes went wide with shock.
"Baby?!" Ram growled as she summoned her wand. "We'll see who cries like a baby! Rom, let's go!"
"O-okay!" her sister agreed, equipping her wand as well.
"Access!" they both cried, transforming to HDD...
*To be continued...*