Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 15- Birds and Bodyguards

*Planeptune Basilicom, Compa's Room*

"Mmmnnn..." Plutia moaned as she slowly regained consciousness, feeling sore all over... As her vision cleared, she saw Compa's concerned face hovering over her. "Compa...? What happened?"

"Oh, you're awake!" the busty nurse exclaimed. "I don't know exactly what happened, except you got in a fight and lost..."

"I-I lost?!" Plutia's eyes shrank to white circles. "But... I never lose one-on-one...!"

"Well, ya did this time, Plutie," Neptune said as she entered the room with Peashy by her side. "You do realize, that because of you, me and Nep Jr. almost got put on ice, literally..."

"Yeah, a bad ninja attacked and froze Nee-on while you were fightin' Haru-ni!" Peashy said with a pout. "I had to transform to break her outta the ice!"

"Oh, no... really?" the pajama-clad girl said, feeling her heart twist a little. "Oh, Neppy, I'm sorry... If I knew that ninja was there, I would've hurt him first... so what happened to the aliens?"

"Well, they've already vamoosed to Leanbox," Neptune sighed. "Y'know, if you hadn't jumped to conclusions, I would've told you that Haruhi and her Oracle touched down here because Vert's space team launched a satellite that ended up in their star cluster, so they decided to come say hello..."

"Oh... so that's what happened..." Plutia bowed her head in shame. "I guess I messed up, huh...?"

"A little bit," her fellow CPU nodded. "Haruhi says she's sorry for hurting you like this, though..."

"Yeah, Haru-ni's really nice!" Peashy added. "I thought she was a bad alien too, but I was wrong, so don't feel too bad, Ploot!"

"...okay~," Plutia sighed. "Maybe I'll just go back home for now and have my Compa care for me..."

"I can carry you if you want!" Peashy offered.

"Eh-heh, that's nice P-ko, but how about we have Nep Jr. help you with that?" Neptune suggested. "Don't wanna hurt Plutie any more than she already is, after all..."

*Meanwhile, back with Rom and Ram...*

"Roast turkey!" White Sister Pink yelled as she fried a Tenga with fire magic!

"Frozen chicken!" White Sister Blue shouted as she encased another one in an ice block, which promptly fell and shattered into a thousand pieces!

"Get 'em, girls!" the NPC attendant encouraged from behind the door of the building he'd taken shelter in.

"Caww! These two baby goddesses are tough!" one Tenga cried as he dodged another magic blast.

"We're not babies!" White Sister Pink shot back as she hit the bird-man with a double-footed kick, sending him into the magma pool!

"Caww! I'm melting! I'm burning! I'm... hey, wait a minute, this isn't lava!" the Tenga realized.

"Of course it isn't!" the NPC attendant stated. "You seriously think we'd put real lava in an amusement park attraction?!"

"...good point, caww," the raven muttered as he climbed out, brushing 'lava' off himself... only to have a large ice crystal dropped on his head, reducing him to 1s and 0s.

"Nice one, Rom!" White Sister Pink complimented her sister. "These birds are nothing for us!"

"Well, you know what they say, caww... he who fights and flies away, lives to fight another day!" With that, the remaining Tenga turned tail and fled.

"Serves you right for trying to kidnap us!" White Sister Blue yelled after them, sharing a high-five with Ram. "You OK, mister?" The NPC gave a thumbs-up back.

"Rom! Ram!" A voice called in the distance twins turning to see White Heart rapidly approaching, stopping short in front of them. "Are you two all right?!"

"We're fine, big sis!" White Sister Pink proclaimed. "Those birdbrains never stood a chance!"

The HDD CPU heaved a sigh of relief at this. "Thank goodness... When I couldn't get a hold of Financier on her cell phone, I feared the damn worst..."

"Miss Financier?" Rom blinked, she and her sister exchanging glances. "Now that I think about it, where is she?" The two flew back to they had left the maid, only to find a discarded cell phone on the ground... Ram picked up the phone, and sure enough there were several missed calls from Blanc visible on the screen.. "Y-you don't think..."

The two looked at each other in horror as realization dawned. "THEY GOT HER!" the twins wailed, burying their heads in White Heart's chest as she alighted beside them. "We're so sorry, Big Sis!"

Blanc could only sigh and hold her sisters as they cried into her flat chest, gently patting them on the head... (Bastards... if those birds harm one hair on Financier's head, there'll be hell to pay...!)

*Leanbox Basilicom*

"Chika, come out!" Vert ordered.

"No!" came the despondent reply from Chika's room. "I can never show my face again, knowing there are perverted men pleasuring themselves to my naked body...! I'm ruined forever!"

"She's just like I've read on the Internep," John Smith observed as he stood alongside Haruhi and Neon. "Total drama queen..."

"Yeeeeah, I think she's a lost cause," Haruhi quipped.

"Perhaps we could meet with your bodyguard instead?" Neon suggested.

"I suppose so," Vert sighed in defeat, turning away from the locked door. "Chika, next time I'm going to break your door down! You have to eat, after all!"

"I would rather starve to death!" the Oracle shot back defiantly...

And so, the group went down one floor to Peach's room, which had been a storage area for Vert's video game backlog before being converted. "Peach, it's Vert. Please open up."

"Not until all those embarrassing photos are gone!" the ex-soldier responded. "What if Adrian sees me like that?!"

"Peach, the aliens are here," the CPU stated. "Weren't you curious about meeting them?"

There was the sound of movement, then the door unlatched and slowly creaked open, revealing a slightly disheveled Peach Macintosh, wearing a plain white T-shirt and blue jeans. Looking over at Haruhi and Neon, she rubbed her eyes a little before commenting, "Well, not quite what I was expecting..."

"Well, what were you expecting? Laser guns and slimy tentacles?" Haruhi sighed as she crossed her arms.

"More like green skin and multiple eyes," Peach replied after a moment.

"Actually, I do have multiple eyes," Neon commented, opening her two extra pairs of eyes to prove her point.

"W, whoa, that's a little freaky," the blonde recoiled slightly. "S-so, you guys are in disguise, then, huh?"

"I am, yes," the alien Oracle nodded, closing her extra eyes. "Milady on the other hand had to transmogrify her body and shunt her excess mass into a separate structure-"

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Peashy cut her off. "No offense, but I'm not that smart, okay?"

"She was the size of an apartment building when she first touched down," Vert stepped in. "In order to shrink down to our size, she changed the rest of her body into a tall throne of sorts... is that right, Haruhi?"

"You got it," the brunette nodded.

"Wait, you mean that throne I saw when we first met... that's part of your body?!" John Smith said in disbelief.

"No worries, Kyon," Haruhi turned to the NPC. "There's nothing vital in that throne. Even if somebody or something crushed it to rubble, it wouldn't affect me in the slightest."

"Well, that's good to know," Peashy said as she stepped out of her room into the hallway. "Who's this guy, though?"

"That's Kyon," Haruhi introduced with a smile.

"Also known as John Smith," Vert appended, drawing an annoyed glare from the alien goddess.

"Thank you, Lady Vert," John sighed in gratitude. "But yeah, I'm just an average guy from Lowee, getting dragged along for the ride..."

"Oh, don't be such a downer, Kyon!" Haruhi huffed. "You should be thankful that I'm taking you on a world tour of Gamindustri!"

"It's been an interesting ride so far, I can say that for sure," John mused. "Could've done without the evil ice ninja attacking though..."

"Uh, what?" Peach looked confused.

"See, this is why you shouldn't be holed up in your room," Vert sighed, before explaining the situation...

"Wait, so there's a new terrorist group gunning for you guys?!" the bodyguard gasped. "You think they were the ones behind that pitfall trap a few days back?!"

"I'm almost certain of it," Vert nodded. "Aside from that ninja, there's also a thief, a rogue Leanbox Army soldier, Underling, Warechu, Dogoo Man, and Tekken's pet bear Kuma, as well as the Tenga..."

"Tenga?! Wait, I thought we locked them all up!" Peashy argued.

"You know that BlackGatomon has escaped from the animal shelter," the busty CPU pointed out. "Even if her power is still restrained, she's apparently still more than capable of creating new Tenga to act as foot soldiers for the House of Humiliation..."

"Grrrr!" the bodyguard clenched her fists in anger. "After all the trouble we went through before...! We'll see who gets humiliated once I get my hands on that stupid black cat! And I hope that rogue soldier tries to come after you, cause I'll give him a good lesson in CQC!"

"Sergeant, calm down," Vert ordered. "Unfocused anger isn't going to get us anywhere..."

"...Right, sorry," Peach sighed, standing at ease.

"Speaking of that pet bear, weren't you gonna get a picture of Tekken for me, so I could summon her here?" Haruhi inquired.

"Oh, yes, that's right," the CPU nodded. "In that case, let's go back to my office, so I can pull up a picture..." And so the group headed back upstairs...

*To be continued...*