Flight
Erenien shut the book abruptly. She had come to the library, just to get out of her life for some time. First Age history had felt like a good option with the unnumbered battles and the valor of many heroes and heroines of old. The page she had just opened did nothing to her mood, if not worsened it. The Tale of Beren and Luthien was not something she was looking forward to reading. It had been months since she last met her 'Beren' in person, on that fateful morning. No. Not Beren. Her 'Aegnor' would be a better title. She had met him after that, a few times, on occasions of celebrations, when she caught glimpses of him singing.
(:~:)
The fragile sleep of that morning had been broken as Erenien was woken up with a kiss to her forehead. Blurry eyes slowly focused on Thranduil sitting at her bedside, fine lines on his usually perfect face.
"Happy begetting day, Ery," he tried to speak cheerfully. It had been 25 years since Thranduil had found her in the forest.
"Get ready. You shall have many surprises today," he said as she slowly guided her to stand. "Let me begin with this." She looked in the direction of his extended hand. The dress which hung there was indeed beautiful.
"Thank you so much, Ada," she gave a half-smile and ignored the flash of pain in his eyes. He continued anyway.
"The pleasure is mine to have you as my daughter. You are Eru's gift to me." She smiled at this- a true smile. His young girl had grown into a beautiful young lady. His heart swelled with pride.
"Now I shall take my leave. Get ready. There shall be a fest this evening."
"Ada, I think we should not. We cannot feast and be merry when our kingdom is facing such a dark time."
"I know. But I cannot let this special day of you go unnoticed." His eyes and thoughts wandered off. Erenien knew what was on his mind. She cannot be with him forever.
"Well then, we can have a small feast. Just the both of us and Legolas and Tauriel. Is that alright?"
"If that is what you wish, then let it be so." He kissed her and left. She stared at the dress. It was undoubtedly beautiful. If only my mood was just as pleasant as this...
Begetting days were always a fuss as all the passersby showered their wishes. Once she had become tired of smiling and thanking, she had escaped to the library- her only refuge.
(:~:)
Soft footsteps echoed in the corridor. Estelor, the Loremaster, would be there soon; so would his assistants. She stuffed the book back on the shelf and went out. Without having a better plan, she found herself at the archery grounds. Arrows managed to find the dead center, though her mind was roaming elsewhere.
"Happy begetting day, Ery." She spun around, startled, to see Feren standing in the doorway. Suddenly, he looked apologetic. "Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you."
"It is fine. Thank you, Feren," she replied, face blank, and turned away to face the targets again.
"I heard your father is hosting a grand party tonight," he said, coming forward. She sighed and turned to face him as the arrow found its way to the center.
"No, there won't be any. We are currently not in a mood to party, are we?" She smiled ruefully.
He replied nothing, but managed a smile.
"Tell me, Feren, why are you here?" She asked as she went to retrieve the arrows.
"I come on behalf of Laerdil. He wishes you a very happy begetting day," her hands paused on the arrow for a moment. She sighed and plucked the last one.
"Give him my thanks, won't you?" she said while placing them in the holders.
"I will. You don't have to stop because of me. Carry on with your practice," he turned to leave.
"Is that all, Feren?" She tried to suppress the pain in her voice and failed. He stopped in his tracks and turned back. "Does he have nothing else to say?"
"He had asked me to say only this," he paused. "He is suffering. By every passing day he is getting more and more restless. He doesn't even speak to me properly."
She nodded in acknowledgement. "I am not in any better mood than him, Feren. Will you please tell him that I have always loved him, that I cannot forget him or everything he has done for me. Tell him not to hate me," her voice broke. Feren nodded and left.
Everything felt hollow. She lingered in the training room for some time since Feren left. The walk to the palace was silent. Leaves barely scrunched under her feet. The chill of the wind heralded the arrival of winter. Life never felt so barren as the ground beneath. The doors closed behind her and she slid to the floor. She expected herself to cry, but nothing came. Months had passed since her last meeting with any of her team members except Tauriel and her brother. The golden dress hung at the far end of the room, a reminder for the evening. The picture of Thranduil's tired eyes came to her mind. Everyone is tired. With a long sigh she dragged herself up from the floor and staggered towards the bath.
Evening came. She looked splendid in her new dress. Her golden waves were neatly combed and some of them were twisted to form a braid at the top of her head. Truly, a vision of gold. Only if I felt better.
The air was not so lighter at the dinner table. The continued attacks from Dol Guldur and the various trade arrangements from Dale and Erebor were the topics of discussion. She picked at the food as the moments passed slower than a slug. She only looked up from the plate as Thranduil asked for a dance. She forced a smile as he twirled her onto the dance floor.
I will smile today. I cannot hurt anyone anymore.
As if you haven't caused enough hurt already.
She tried to ignore the cruel jab of her heart and let it slowly bleed as it had been, for a long time. She was excused from the celebration as it was becoming late. Another perk of being human. Not that she needed it. Sleep had become a rarity these days.
The next day broke- another useless day. A clamor at the gates caught her attention. She caught a glimpse of a familiar head amid the fray. She watched Laerdil embrace Feren and mount his steed. Large saddlebags were strapped to the horse. Her eyes widened as realization hit.
"Laerdil..," she called out. He tensed for a moment, then, with one last wave of goodbye, he nudged the steed to a gallop and rode away. Only specs of dust lingered in the air when she finally made it to the gates.
"Where is he off to?" she asked Feren who was shifting uncomfortably.
"To the Sothern border," it was Eiliandil who replied. "He is transferred to there."
"You all knew?" She asked the rest of her team who were assembled there. Silence. "Why didn't anybody tell me? Feren, we met yesterday. Why didn't you tell me?"
"I wanted to, Ery. He made me promise not to tell you. He just wanted to slip off quietly."
"Why would he want to do that?"
"Oh please don't speak that you don't know the reason. You are the reason for his departure," one of her friends started.
I am the reason for his departure. She knew not how to reply, instead, stared at the direction to where he had vanished moments ago.
"He is not coming back. You shouldn't be much bothered about him given you were the one who insisted on breaking up."
She blinked up at Eiliandil as words lumped in her throat. But he wasn't over.
"He was too distraught after you broke up with him. I don't know how it was for you, but for him it was heart-breaking. Was it a joke to you, your love? Well, we all know that for him, it was not. You were his life. You were even more than that."
"How could you just tear his heart apart like this? He left because he couldn't bear the pain of not seeing you. He now travels to the Southern Border, as a Captain. Today we lost our friend because of you!" Started another.
She froze. Each word was a dagger. She stood there, bleeding.
"What is happening here. Have you lost your mind?", Findir intervened before anybody could resume pouring down their anger. "Mind your words, Eiliandil. If you have any issue with the departure of Laerdil, it should be addressed to me. I am the one who asked Lady Erenien a to stay away from Laerdil. It was for his own good."
"Please don't listen to him my lady. He doesn't know what he is saying," he turned to her. She avoided his gaze and swiftly left the place, before another word was uttered.
(:~:)
Erenien was running. Unshed tears glimmered in her eyes. She wanted to get away from that place. The northern gates soon passed behind her. The sun was slowly ascending. Leaves stirred at a distance. A faint sound of hooves and a familiar call- "Follow me, child."
The words rang in her mind. She wanted an escape; needed to go far away, where she wouldn't be able to hurt anybody anymore. Instead of resisting the call, she embraced it; let it lead her.
He was waiting for her at the clearing. The ancient eyes bore into hers. Once more she mounted him and they took off. Around them the dying forest flew backwards.
Note
Aegnor- He was the first elf in the history of Arda to form a romantic relationship with a mortal. He was a Noldorin prince who fell in love with Andreth of the house of Beor. Unfortunately, their love was never fulfilled. Their story, which is so beautiful and heart-wrenching, is depicted in 'Athrabeth Finrod ah Andreth,' part 4 of Morgoth's Ring.
The story of Beren and Luthien is familiar to everyone, I guess.