Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 21- Fight in the Streets

*Ho-Hum HQ*

"So can you give me an assurance that this 'Keramon' will behave itself?" Overlord Momus inquired critically.

"I'll try to rein it in as best I can, meow," BlackGatomon sighed, sporting a few bandages from Peashy's roughhousing. "Try not to scare anybody here anymore, okay?"

"Keeee! She scared me!" Keramon pointed at Linda in protest.

"You scared me first!" the punk girl shot back.

"SILENCE!" Momus boomed. "You were both at fault, so you both need to apologize!"

"You heard the man, meow. Say you're sorry," BlackGatomon ordered.

"O-keee, I'm sorry," Keramon bowed it's head in shame.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry too," Linda grumbled.

"Good, all settled," the Ho-Hum leader nodded. "Now then... I might have an idea how to use this one," he gestured to Keramon. "Do you think you could transport him to the Lowee Basilicom?"

"Shouldn't be a problem, meow," BlackGatomon assured him. "And I think I've already got an idea what you wanna do..."

"Kekeke! This should be fun!" Keramon rubbed it's hands in glee.

*Planeptune City suburbs*

"Holy crap..." Dragon Ball said in disbelief as Uzume finished her tale. "Uh, just so we're clear, this 'Kurome' is never coming back, right?!"

"...She'll always be a part of me," Uzume said grimly, "but, as long as I remember that there are people who do care for me and don't hate me, Kurome will never return."

"I never hated you, Lady Uzume," the old man shook his head, "Like I said, I was just a dumb brat who didn't know any better..."

"It's not your fault," Uzume shook her head. "Like someone said awhile back, being isolated for decades would make anybody snap..."

"On the positive side, there's some people who've been making home-brewed games for Uzume's old console," Nepgear supplied. "You could almost say she was vindicated by history..."

"Hey, that's good to hear!" Dragon Ball said with a grin... but then her head jerked up, her face suddenly taking on a grim expression.

"What's up, DB?" Neptune asked. "You sense something?"

"I hear something," the alien clarified, "sounds of destruction and mayhem..."

"Well, we better go and check it out, before the mayhem comes here," Neptune declared. "Let's go everyone! Nep to it!"

"I wish you good luck, CPUs," the old man said with a nod.

"Thanks, old man. I'll come back to visit some other time!" Uzume promised.

As the three CPUs and one alien emerged from the old man's house, a panicked male NPC ran up to them. "Miss Neptune, help! There's a grizzly bear and a Dogoo with a muscleman's body destroying everything in sight!"

"Kuma and Dogoo Man!" Nepgear realized. "It must be another attack from the House of Humiliation!"

"Given their MO, they probably got another nasty surprise waiting for us when we show up," Neptune mused.

"I could probably take care of them myself, but given what Lady Vert said on the TV broadcast..." Dragon Ball trailed off.

"Right, we have to deal with this ourselves," Nepgear affirmed.

"Wait, I got it!" Uzume snapped her fingers. "I know a way Dragsy can help us without stealing the spotlight, not to mention catch those guys off guard..."

*Further down the street...*

(Music- 'I Will Win', Power Rangers Redux)

"Grrrroooaarrr!" Kuma roared as he smashed in car windows and pulled up mailboxes before crushing them underfoot. On the other side of the street, Dogoo Man used his incredible strength to overturn parked cars, leaving them on their sides or even on their roofs!

"Hold it right there, villains!" Neptune cried as she, Nepgear, and Uzume ran onto the scene, the former two summoning their swords while the latter took her stance.

"Whoa, you're here already?!" Dogoo Man gasped as he turned to face the CPUs. "You must've already been in the area when we started smashing things!"

"Sorry if we're unfashionably early!" Uzume taunted.

"(I won't run away this time!)" Kuma growled as he joined his comrade, standing straight and taking his stance.

"Sorry, I don't speak bear," Neptune snarked.

"We won't lose to you!" Nepgear declared. "And whatever humiliating trap you have planned for us won't work this time! Now, DB!" She and the others kneeled down and bowed their heads, closing their eyes tightly...

"Huh?" Dogoo Man and Kuma looked to see Dragon Ball flying above, spreading her hands over her face...

"Taiyoken!" she intoned, the sunlight behind her suddenly intensifying tenfold!

"Grrroooohhh!" Kuma wailed as he covered his face with his paws!

"My eyes! Too bright! It hurts!" Dogoo Man copied his partner's motions.

"Yeah! It worked!" Uzume pumped a fist in triumph as she and the others stood back up.

"Alrighty! Uzume, you take care of the bear, Nep Jr. and I'll handle Dogoo Man!" Neptune ordered.

"Roger that!" the redhead nodded, running forward and hitting Kuma in the stomach with a double-footed kick!

"Slash Wave!" Nepgear intoned, the grounded energy wave causing Dogoo Man to stumble and fall to a knee! Neptune then followed up with a Cross Combination that sent him tumbling away!

"Ow! That hurts!" Dogoo Man cried as he stood back up with a few slash marks on his body.

"Aww, your big, strong muscles can't take it?!" Neptune taunted as she and Nepgear charged forward, easily dodging their foe's half-blinded swinging, slicing at him a few more times! Meanwhile, Kuma tried to lunge at Uzume, only for the redhead to roll aside, then strike back with an elbow to his flank, knocking him over!

"Go, girls! Go, CPUs! You can do it!" Dragon Ball cheered them, a few NPCs cheering along with her.

"Haaaa!" Neptune and Nepgear cried as they leaped into the air, their blades at the ready... but by this time Dogoo Man had recovered his eyesight, catching both blades in his hands as they swung, snapping them like twigs! "Neppit-!"

"Ha ha! Muscles are stronger than blades!" Dogoo Man laughed as he went on the attack, the duo barely dodging his attacks. "You should've bulked up your muscles too, then you wouldn't be helpless!"

"We're not helpless!" Neptune insisted as she dodged a left hook. "32-bit Mega Blade!"

"Uh-oh!" Dogoo Man cried as he jumped away before the Mega Blade could impale him!

"Go, Nepgeardam!" Nepgear declared, a small portal opening up and discharging a robotic Nepgear lookalike with a monitor for a head and an electric cord with a plug for a tail! "Attack!" The Nepgeardam charged forward, smashing Dogoo Man in the head with a right straight! He tried to retaliate with a right hook, but the robot dodged easily before knocking him off his feet with an uppercut! "Now, the final strike!" Nepgear cried, her robot promptly blasting Dogoo Man with it's laser-eyes, resulting in a miniature mushroom cloud!

When the smoke cleared, Dogoo Man was laid out on the street with several burns on his blue body. "My muscles... failed me..." he groaned before passing out.

"(Uh-oh, time to run,)" Kuma growled as he grappled with Uzume, knocking her away with a butt-bump and dashing to his fallen comrade! "(Tenga, help us escape!)" he roared as he laid Dogoo Man across his back.

(Music- 'Tenga Bye Bye', Power Rangers season 3)

"You got it, caww!" cried several Tenga as they descended on the goddesses!

"Aw, snap!" Neptune sighed as she and Nepgear were surrounded. "DB, we could use a little help with these guys!"

"Okay, here I come!" Dragon Ball assented as she joined the battle, nailing a Tenga with a flying kick!

"Neptune, let's transform!" Nepgear said as she dodged several attacks from the Tenga. "We should still have our HDD weapons!"

"Good thinking, Nep Jr.! Access!" Neptune assented, transforming to HDD, her katana appearing in her hand. "Now that's more like it!" Purple Heart smiled as assumed a ready stance. "Now, you feathered fiends, prepare to face the wrath of a goddess!"

*Meanwhile, back at the Basilicom...*

"Almost got it... there!" Generic Thief #11 grunted as she finished unscrewing the cover from the security keypad. "Now then... open sesame!" she said with a smirk as she twisted two wires together, the door to Nepgear's workshop promptly sliding open! "OK! Let's see what I can steal here for Overlord Momus..." She entered cautiously, knowing full well there could be other security measures beside the one she had just bypassed...

But as she rounded a corner she face-to-face to what appeared to be Nepgear herself! "Kyaaa! W-what are you d-doing here?! Y-you're supposed t-to be...!" At that point, she realized that 'Nepgear' hadn't moved at all, and in fact had a quite different face than the actual CPU Candidate. "Oh, ohhhh... it's j-just a d-decoy. Hahahaha..." She slid to the floor in relief, putting a hand to her chest to try and calm her heart rate... "Of course... I should've known..." After taking a minute to calm down, Thief #11 picked herself up, proceeding deeper into the workshop... (Now then... what object should I try to steal? Maybe a few of Nepgear's tools from her workbench, that would probably be a safe bet...)

"Can I help you with something?" The thief froze, slowly turning to see the same not-Nepgear from before... "It's not nice to break into someone's workshop, you know..."

"IT'S ALIVE!" Thief #11 screamed as she backed up against the wall. "I'm sorry, I'm so very sorry! P-please don't k-kill meee...!"

"Fortunately for you, I am not programmed to kill anyone except monsters," 'not-Nepgear' explained. "I'm sorry if my face frightened you, but this is how Master designed me..."

"O-oh, y-you're a robot," Thief #11 realized, heaving a sigh of relief.

"That's right! I'm Nepgya, a robot designed with Nepgear's funny-face components," Nepgya introduced herself. "That being said, I am programmed to evict any unauthorized intruders..." With that, she promptly marched forward and grabbed Thief #11 by the shirt...

*Outside the Basilicom*

"Ahhh!" Generic Thief #11 screamed as she was unceremoniously tossed out the back door, landing face down in the sod.

"Do not attempt to hotwire your way into Master's workshop again, or I will have to contact the authorities. Good day." With a bow, Nepgya promptly closed and locked the door.

"Ugh..." Thief #11 groaned as she slowly picked herself up. "Well, that could have gone better." Brushing herself off, she walked around the building to the parking lot, getting into one of the cars and starting it up...

"HEY!" She looked up to see an NPC priest. "That's my car!"

"Not anymore, it isn't!" Thief #11 grinned as she shifted into reverse, then pulled a quick 180-degree spin and peeled rubber!

"Stop, thief!" the priest tried to run after her, to no avail... "I don't even have the insurance paid yet...!"

*Later, back at Ho-Hum HQ...*

"OW!" Dogoo Man cried as Overlord Momus bopped him on the head, leaving a visible lump behind. "Come on, I'm hurting enough as it is!"

"You disappoint me, Dogoo Man! You managed to disarm Neptune and Nepgear and you still lost!" Momus critiqued. "And we lost about 15 Tenga in order to cover your escape! Be thankful Kuma was nice enough to not leave you at their mercy!" Turning to the grizzly bear, he then said, "Good work, Kuma. At least this time you didn't cut and run until after your colleague lost..."

"(Thank you, sir,)" Kuma growled.

"As for you, Generic Thief #11... I sent you to infiltrate the Basilicom while the CPUs were occupied, and all you managed to steal was this lousy car?!"

"I wasn't expecting to run into a robot double in Nepgear's workshop!" Thief #11 countered. "And besides, the car wasn't the only thing I stole... look in the trunk." She promptly reached through the driver's window and unlocked said trunk...

"This had better be good," Momus muttered as he walked to the back of the car and opened the trunk... but stopped upon seeing what was inside. The horned man began to chuckle sinisterly, before progressing to outright evil laughter...

*Back at the Basilicom...*

"NOOOOOOO! My secret pudding stash!" Neptune wailed. "It's gone, all gone! Why meeeee?!"

*To be continued...*