Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 26- The Deucalion Has Landed!

*Planeptune International Airport*

As the massive battlecruiser Deucalion touched down, several rods extended from its underside, embedding in the ground in order to stabilize its position. The four main CPUs (and Nepgear), still in HDD, flew in front of the ship, then slightly underneath it where they could see what appeared to be a large bay door. As they waited for said door to open, they were joined by Haruhi and John Smith, while Neon, Dragon Ball and Uzume remained behind to help keep the civilians calm. The giant robot from earlier set down next to the ship, going into a kneeling position and seemingly shutting down.

After a few minutes, the bay door began to open, slowly lowering down and becoming a ramp that led into the interior of the ship... "White Heart, you seem awfully fidgety," Green Heart noted.

"Sorry, it's just... there's something nagging at me, but I can't put my finger on it," White Heart grunted.

"Well, try to put it to one side for now," Black Heart advised. "We have to make sure we make the right impression for these aliens..."

"Here they come," Purple Heart stated, the group fixing their gaze on two sets of boots that were visible, soon revealed to be foot soldiers armed with futuristic laser rifles. Behind them was a group of three women... the one on the left appeared to be an older woman with graying green hair and what appeared to be two tiny horns protruding from said hair, dressed in a light blue kimono with a tiger-striped obi. The one on the right seemed around high-school age, with long auburn hair and brown eyes set into a very cute face, with a bust that almost rivaled Vert's chest, though she was dressed in a modest white blouse and light blue skirt.

The one in the center, of course, was Princess Asseylum herself, a small smile on her face as she slowly walked down the ramp... only to suddenly trip and fall to her knees, sliding down to the ground, the two guards quickly coming to her aid and helping her up. "Th-thank you," she nodded to them, before breathing to regain her composure. "Sorry you had to see that, but I am used to moving in a zero-G environment... I tend to have trouble with a planet's gravity sometimes."

"Used to have that problem myself," the older woman on her left commented. "Ah, hello, Ma'nabatea..."

"Hey there, Mrs. Yatsura," Haruhi waved back. "And hello to you too, Mikuru," she said to the younger auburn-haired girl.

"Ah! You're here?!" Mikuru squeaked in panic, quickly hiding herself behind Asseylum! "D-don't let her g-get me...!"

"Oh, come on!" Haruhi sighed in exasperation. "I use you as a dress-up doll ONE time, and you're quaking in fear of me?! I said I was sorry...!"

"Th-that's not the only thing you did!" Mikuru protested from behind her princess. "You f-fondled my chest, too!"

"What." John Smith's voice took on an angry tone as he turned to face Haruhi. "Is this true? You molested her?!"

Haruhi had the decency to look ashamed. "Ugh... Kyon, I... I couldn't help it, she was just the perfect combination of cute and sexy! I mean, look at her!"

"That's no excuse and you know it!" Kyon shouted at her. "That kind of behavior is really unbecoming of a goddess! Isn't that right, Lady Blanc?! Even if you're jealous of Lady Vert's chest, you've never tried to fondle her, have you?!"

"No," White Heart admitted. "Although, she has squished my head into her chest once or twice as a joke..."

"Okay, okay, you've made your point!" Haruhi insisted, raising her hands in surrender. "Neon was just as angry as you were, Kyon! She literally slapped me in the face to get me to stop! Believe me, I got the hint!"

"Well, I should hope so," Kyon nodded curtly, before turning back to the aliens. "Sorry about that, Your Highness..."

"No, it's quite all right," Asseylum smiled and shook her head. "It's quite fascinating to see someone show no fear to a goddess like Ma'nabatea whatsoever... Now, please, Mikuru, stop hiding, if you would."

"But why is that man covered in shadow?" Mikuru said as she peeked out from behind Asseylum. "I-it's a little scary..."

"I can fix that," Haruhi said as she clapped a hand on John's shoulder, his black frame suddenly flooded with a cascade of colors until he was fully visible, short brown hair framing an average, but still mildly handsome face with black eyes. He wore a blue school uniform with a white undershirt and a red tie, with plain brown sneakers. "There we go! All colored in!"

"Yare yare," John grunted as he looked over himself. "Well, I guess this was inevitable, seeing how prominent I've become in this story..."

"O-oh, so that's what he looks like," Mikuru said, timidly stepping out from behind Asseylum.

"Not bad," the older woman commented as she looked John Smith over. "If I was a bit younger, I might have taken an interest in this one-tcha..."

"Well, now that that's settled," Purple Heart spoke up, "I believe introductions are in order."

"Oh, yes, of course," Princess Asseylum agreed. "Well, as you know, I am Princess Asseylum Aldnoah Zero of Vers. This young retainer of mine is Mikuru Asahina. And the older one is Urusei Yatsura, from planet Oniboshi."

"A pleasure to meet you goddesses," Urusei bowed in respect.

"Y-yes, me too!" Mikuru nervously curtsied. "So, what do we call you?"

"I am Purple Heart, ruler of this nation, known as Planeptune," Purple Heart replied, before abruptly reverting her transformation! "But you can call me Neptune! And this is my little sister Nepgear, or Nep Jr. as I call her!"

"Nice to meet you," Purple Sister bowed, before reverting to normal as well. "We're really not that intimidating once you get to know us..."

"You should know me," Black Heart said as she reverted to Noire. "Well, Princess Asseylum should, anyway."

"Yes, nice to meet you in person, Lady Noire," Asseylum acknowledged.

"I'm Blanc, AKA White Heart, I rule Lowee to the north," Blanc said as she also reverted. "I admit I've got a bit of a temper, but when you have to deal with two younger sisters..."

"I understand where you're coming from-tcha," Urusei chuckled. "I had to babysit my bratty baby cousin a lot, back in the day..."

"And last but not least, I am the Goddess of Leanbox to the south, Green Heart," Vert said as she changed back. "In this form, you may call me Lady Vert. And I wish I had a sister of any sort..."

"I... see." Asseylum blinked a few times at that last comment, before shrugging it off. "So then, you four rule this world together?"

"Eh... kinda-sorta," Neptune grunted.

"Our nations compete with each other economically," Vert explained. "A long time ago, we saw each other as rivals or even potential enemies, but a worldwide crisis forced us to band together..."

"We still have our differences, but we all get along now, for the most part," Noire finished. "The closest we come to fighting nowadays is if Vert teases Blanc too much about her flat chest... and even then, it's more of a cat-fight."

"A-after my encounter with Ma'nabatea, I k-kinda wish my chest was as small as Lady Blanc's..." Mikuru grunted.

"Too bad we can't trade racks," Blanc muttered.

"Alright, that's enough about breasts," Urusei cut in. "Honestly, you'd think this was a soft porn film, the way you're goin' on-tcha..."

"Th-that's not what I meant, dammit!" Blanc blushed profusely.

"I would certainly hope not," a quiet male voice intruded, the group turning to see a young decently-built man with wild brown hair and cold black eyes, wearing a black tank top and gray trousers. "Mission complete, Your Highness."

"Yes, good work," Asseylum nodded. "Everyone, this is Wing Gundam, the pilot of the robot I sent to assist you with those large bird-men."

"We had things pretty much under control," Noire noted. "Not that we don't appreciate the help, though."

"Your robot is so cool, though!" Nepgear practically teleported in front of Wing Gundam with sparkling eyes. "What are the specifications? How did you become a pilot? Have you been many battles? Maybe with cool explos- Eep!" She took on a Nepgya-face as the pilot pulled a gun on her!

"Shut up or I'll kill you," Wing growled menacingly.

"W-w-what the goodness?!" Nepgear backed up several steps in fear.

"WING! What have I told you about doing that?!" another female voice called from inside the ship, a young woman descending down the ramp. She had shoulder-length black hair held in place with a yellow headband, black eyes, a small pointed nose and thin lips. She was clad in a skintight suit that was mostly black, with a large pink dot on the chest, said suit showing off her B-cup size bosom. The suit also had two brass shoulder guards with a single antenna on each. "Put your gun away! That's a goddess you're threatening, you know!"

"...Fine," Wing sighed as he holstered his weapon.

"I'm so sorry about him," the woman apologized. "He's not the most sociable... I'm his cousin, G Gundam. Please don't ask what the G stands for."

"Are you a giant robot pilot, too?" Nepgear asked cautiously, shifting away from Wing.

"Against my wishes, yes," Wing grumbled.

"You of all people know why I decided to become a pilot alongside you!" G Gundam said sternly, with her hands on her hips. "Besides, I think I've more than proven myself!"

"Yes, you certainly have," Urusei agreed with a chuckle. "Lady Nepgear, perhaps you could direct your questions to G here? Wing can stay and keep an eye on the ship."

"Fine by me," Wing agreed, turning and walking off. "Don't pester my cousin too much, Nepgear. You've been warned." G could only sigh in exasperation.

"Anyway, perhaps we could proceed to your... um..." Asseylum faltered.

"Basilicom," Neptune finished for her. "Right, lemme get a hold of taxi service... We don't wanna panic people by just teleporting, after all," she glanced over at Haruhi.

"Fair enough," the Animenga goddess shrugged. "Looks like they're not so scared anymore, though..." Indeed, several NPCs were attempting to take pictures of the alien princess and her entourage with their phones and mobile devices, though Neon, Dragon Ball and Uzume were keeping them at bay.

While Neptune was getting on her phone, Blanc also got on her mobile device as well. "What are you doing?" Vert asked.

"I finally realized what was nagging at me," she replied. "If the bad guys jacked into our conference call, then that means they might know that we're away from our Basilicoms... Hello, Financier? Is everything all right over there? ...Really? Well, that's fine. Just let me know if anything happens, okay? Thanks, bye." Hanging up, Blanc said to the others, "Well, seems all's well back home... Peashy came over to play with Rom and Ram, Mina's watching over them."

"Little Peashy?" Vert pondered. "She traveled to Lowee all by her lonesome?"

"Well, Plutie's probably still sore after the thrashing Haruhi gave her," Neptune pointed out. "Anyway, taxis should be here soon..."

"Well, Uni, K-Sha, and Sister Ciel are holding down the fort in Lastation, so I'm not worried," Noire commented. "What about you, Vert?"

"Chika, Peach, and Tekken should be enough to stop any shenanigans by Ho-Hum," Vert replied. "I have faith in my Oracle and bodyguard."

"Who is this Ho-Hum?" Princess Asseylum queried curiously.

"A terrorist group trying to destroy faith in these goddesses by putting them in humiliating situations," Haruhi explained. "Oh, and just so we're clear, Haruhi is the alias I'm going by here."

"Terrorist group?!" Asseylum gasped. "Oh, my... I'm suddenly grateful that Father insisted on a military escort..."

"Yeah, I highly doubt they'll try to kidnap you after this show of force," Blanc commented. "They did manage to hijack a big robot from an amusement park back in Lowee, but your stuff's probably got completely different source code..."

"Yes, our technology should be well-protected from any attempts at remote hijacking," Asseylum nodded.

"You'd better hope so, Your Highness!" an NPC called from a distance. "Last thing we want is this ship raining lasers and bombs on our heads!"

"I do worry about that Keramon, though," Vert whispered to Blanc. "If that thing was able to get into your Basilicom to scare Rom and Ram so easily..."

"We'll tell her about it once we get to the Basilicom," Blanc whispered back. "We don't wanna panic the citizens..."

*Speaking of Keramon...*

"Kekeke! Om nom nom!" Keramon munched on another of Vert's MMO accounts. "Delicious data! Where should Keramon go next?" Looking about, the Digimon spotted a data port reading '4 Goddesses Online.' "Oooh, lots of data there!" Keramon promptly entered the port, emerging into the MMO proper...

Only to be suddenly confronted with an entire guild of knights and mages! "There it is! Keramon, the Data Devourer!" One knight cried.

"Good thing the GM warned us!" another nodded. "We won't allow you to devour our lady's avatar and load-out!"

"Glory to the Verdant Knights!" the first declared, the others roaring a battle cry!

"KEEEEE! No faaaaaiiirrr!" Keramon screeched as it fled, dodging arrows and magic blasts!

*To be continued...*