Author's Notes: Surprise! I'm aiming for a monthly update. Oh, no, not because I don't know what to write… Rather than that, I just have a favorite child I am constantly thinking and writing about. I am going to finish this story, even if it's not my favorite! I mean, it's not like I even DISLIKE it.

Anyway, hope you guys enjoy! Thanks for still somehow following this pre-pandemic fic!

Chapter 6: Secrets Known +This Misleading Title

Everyone has heard of the wise, bearded men who are Aristotle, Socrates, Plato. But what about Zeno, another bearded man who came up with a school of thought like all other bearded men in the ancient era?

Beards have become synonymous to wisdom that they have established themselves as the defining trait of the all-knowing, experienced mentor in the main character's journey. It's quite an impressive feat, though it is not by the effort of a great mind as - you can imagine, I hope - that is utterly unrelated to the determination of the archetype, which is based on a reoccurring characteristic that the human brain is predisposed to, because categorizing concepts is the method in which words are defined, learned, and developed.

Yet for all the intelligence we posses as the most superior animal in the planet, we lack awareness of the operations of our own thought systems. In that sense, aren't we all slaves to the biological computer we call brain?

As I was saying, it's interesting how people actually think all wise, old men like having beards. Isn't it because a safe way to shave back then simply didn't exist? Or that people who are too preoccupied thinking are too busy to shave their beards?

Oops, hold on a second. Were you about to scroll down? It sure is harder to make people pay attention to what you're saying when they're given the choice to read or not read. The manga has illustrations to depict the exaggeration while the anime is forcing you to listen to my nonstop voice.

Oh, did you know that a great dip in the literacy level is due to social media? Since people are spending their time reading a great amount of text in their feeds, they lose interest in picking up a book. It's a lot like eating, really. You won't have much appetite for dinner if you're always eating snacks. Of course, the priority over reading social media is due to the toxic work culture brought about by the fast-paced lifestyle that demands more productivity to cater to the big population that is being demanded more productivity. People are seeking something quick and easy to satisfy their cravings. That's why a oneshot fanfiction will always be amassing more kudos over multi-chaptered stories that the author pours love and passion everyday to dish out at least a meaningful 3k-word chapter.

Huh? What is it, oh great author lady? You don't want me to talk about that? It's unsightly to be salty? Well, I don't know about your preference for sodium, but weren't you compl

What the heck is going on? The new transfer student, Akechi Touma, is talking to me like he already knows my secret. But - hard as this is to believe - that's not the pressing matter right now. Everyone in my class has just seen me use my psychic powers by accident but it's not adding up…

That was scary! Is Teruhashi-san okay?

I almost crapped myself. Did Teruhashi-san see me almost crap myself?

That was my moment to protect Teruhashi-san! But her seat is by the window so…

My bag of cabbages have been destroyed! My cabbages!

Mostly everyone is thinking about Teruhashi-san, not about the clearly suspicious me. How else can you explain an ordinary school chair cutting through the floor like an excavator and throwing people aside like a wrecking ball? I know from my telepathy but no one is seriously injured, but that doesn't change my abilities have put them in danger.

(Goodness, you didn't have to cut my scene like that. You didn't even put a dash to indicate intentionally cutting a scene. You left it looking like you messed up in the editor and erased the remaining paragraph by accident.)

"Hey, Kusuo! Kusuo, geez! If you don't move, I'm totally going to smooch you! Are you really not saying anything? Wait, is this seriously my chance? Maybe with my lips, Kusuo will…"

Kusuo will have another accident.

Aiura is horrified. "You'll be so nervous you'll wet your pants? I don't like that! What a turn-off!" It's Kusuo though. Does it count as a gap moe? Lowkey nervous about discovering what I feel about it.

(Readers must be confused of what's going on. Allow me to explain. Right now, Kusuo-kun cannot read my mind, which is how I managed to steal the perspective from me.)

Yare, yare. You can read the future, but you sure can't read the mood. I'm talking about what happened. I was uncharacteristically startled and used my powers to cause this destruction. It seems like people are too shocked to realize that the supernatural is involved, but once things have calmed down, rumours will be circulating all around the school. This is what happens when I get too relaxed.

(As you can see, he is blissfully unaware that he is not the only narrator of this story anymore. But I'm still in this scene, where I am being blatantly ignored. Even my other special characteristic besides talking has been referenced without a nod toward me. I think I am slightly, just a tiny bit, offended.)

Aiura looked on in confusion. "Why are you removing that hair pin with such a serious expression?"

I'm unsealing my power of mind control. I avoid using this particular ability because of the unexpected effects it has on humanity, but at least I can fix this room by rewinding time. Then everyone can return to being blissfully unaware that there is a psychic among them.

"Huuuh? What are you on about, Kusuo? That's the last thing I expected to hear from you," said Aiura with an arched brow. I follow her finger at the debris of my chair. "Didn't you already figure out who did this? Also, what's the transfer student doing here?"

"Without a doubt, you are referring to me. But why are you merely calling me as the transfer student? Have you already forgotten my name? Hmm, my introduction has not been sufficient, I think. Or perhaps I am jumping to conclusions and this is a sign that I am not an individual that piques your interest that deserved to be called by name."

"Oh, um."

"But in case you have indeed forgotten, misheard, or misremembered, fret not for I am not offended one bit and I will gladly reintroduce myself as I am please to make more acquaintances, especially one who appears to be in familiar terms with Kusuo-kun -"

"Kusuo, you know this guy?"

"- Although I am quite surprised. It always seemed like Kusuo-kun did not enjoy being surrounded by others. I wasn't expecting to him to have a gaggle of loyal, caring friends who would come back here immediately out of concern for his wellbeing."

"Saiki, what are you still doing here?" demanded Kuboyasu, appearing by the door. "And you, transfer student! Er, both transfer students, hurry up and evacuate!" Our class sure has so many transfer students to take care of. Though Saiko was surprisingly reliable and already has his own team securing the school. Tch, when I find out who did this to our classmates…

"Aibou!"came Nendou, his head popping right above Kuboyasu. I know I've done considerable damage, but somehow Nendou's pants have been perfectly torn into a new pair of shorts. "Sorry I had to leave you. You looked like you were really troubled 'bout something, like you're trying to think of something boring to get your boner down."

"What's wrong with Saiki-kun's boner?" asked a perspiring, worried Hairo as he enters through the other door of the classroom. "The ambulance has arrived. Should I call them here to have them check on Saiki?"

Destroying my chair must have been an intentional ploy, because there's nothing more I want to do right now - other than not being in this room - but to sit down.

"Don't do it, Saiki-kun!" cried Mera-san behind Hairo. "If you're hospitalized, you'll have to pay! You should go home and drink plenty of water. I have two months of rainwater saved up that I can give you."

"S-Saiki-kun…" Teruhashi-san was catching her breath, a faint, pink blush on her face. She pulled a stray strand of hair behind her ear, unleashing offu's from the others but Hairo and Mera-san. "Are you okay?"

How do you like this form, Saiki? The prettiest girl you've ever seen has raced back to check on you. I already know you're okay based on my information network, so I pulled this off to heal remnants of psychological trauma! Wait - oh no, I didn't think this through! I may have pulled this powerful move too suddenly and cause Saiki a heart attack!

"I-I think Saiki-kun should be checked by the paramedics just to be safe."

Actually, I'll take that, please. Anything to take me away from this scene. You can even put me straight into the coffin.

Kuboyasu looked on in alarm. "Hold on, you're really hurt, Saiki? Why didn't you say so sooner, you idiot!"

Nendou was also alarmed by the news. "Aibou," he sniffed empathetically. "I'm sorry I didn't take you seriously. That must have been a really painful boner."

"B-bo - " Teruhashi-san was scandalized.

"This is funny, but also confusing," remarked Aiura, grinning at me. "Has it always been like this?"

Soon, Saiko also arrived, followed closely by his gaggle of overprotecting bodyguards. "Young Master, we're not yet done securing the city! Please hurry to the helicopter, which will take you to a private jet and into an unknown, top secret location in the UK camouflaged as a leprechaun-sighting site until the culprit is caught!"

The unknown, top secret location has been narrowed down immediately.

"Stop panicking. Seriously, how unsightly. Only poor people make a fuss in unexpected situations what with them lacking money to finance themselves during emergencies."

You know that, yet you're somehow still using it as a way to look down on said poor people.

"Ah, everyone's gathered here!" exclaimed Yumehara-san as she stepped in. "How did you know, Kaidou-kun?"

By Yumehara-san's side is Kaidou. With everyone's antics back at it again, I thought Kaidou is about to exclaim how this is all the work of Dark Reunion and whatever eight-grade syndrome story he has cooked up while evacuating. But it only took me a second to remember Kaidou isn't the same as he was before. His serious expression is for something all together. Worse than the work Dark Reunion can ever come up with.

"I didn't know, but I had a feeling. I think it's about time everyone knows." Kaidou's eyes flicker up at me, serious. "Why not tell everyone what you know, Saiki?"

Aiura.

"Huh - " Aiura did a double take. What's up, Kusuo?

Kiss Kaidou or something.

HUH? Wait, is this what turns you on? Or off? Is something actually wrong with your dick?

I don't know what Kaidou is thinking - well I do - but we need to get everyone to disperse. I don't like where this is going.

Then I don't have to do anything with that kid! You know Chiyopipi likes him too. What do you take me for?

Aiura takes a deep breath and starts thinking on her feet. "All right, since it's come to this, Imma let everyone know."

I know Aiura still doesn't have a plan. I'm trying to come up with something too, but everyone's focus have now shifted to her.

"What Kusuo knows is… He knows about…my secret."

Yumehara-san was the most familiar with Aiura, and she was finding her behaviour odd. "Miko-chan?"

"He knows that I'm…psychic! There, I said it! I can accurately read into the future and even see when someone is doomed!"

As expected, no one cared.

What's with that reveal? Everyone knows about it already.

What? Then why is everyone looking at me like they believe me even less now?

You're a known fortune-teller in the school and you read your classmates' fortunes as a hobby. With how blatant you have been with your powers, everyone already has formulated an opinion on your legitimacy. Saying it now is like admitting you have super strength after everyone's already assumed you're an Olympic bodybuilder. Those who aren't familiar in the expected standards of the field are not going to understand the difference between human peak level and supernatural level.

So I just have to prove to them that I'm the real deal? All right, let me announce everyone's social security number, their locked screen passcodes, and the embarrassing first email address they ever created.

How about coming up with a slightly shocking reveal? It's not too late to say you were joking.

"…is what I'm thinking of saying as a joke!" laughed Aiura over the awkward silence.

"Oh, is that so?" said Teruhashi-san with an uncertain smile. "Then, what is it that Saiki-kun knows, Aiura-san?"

"Ah - well - " Slightly shocking, sightly shocking. What would be slightly shocking for Kusuo's character that no one would expect? "He knows my cup size?"

"C-cu -" Teruhashi-san was scandalized.

"My shoe size! I meant my shoe size!" Aiura tried to backtrack without success. "You know, since we met in a charity concert but I had to come home ASAP by midnight because of I had to take care of my little brother since both my parents have their own issues to work on. So after our bodies touched to some sensual music, I had to like, leave but I was so drunk I left one of my pole dancing boot behind."

What is up with this modern take on Cinderella?

Kaidou shook his head, forlorn. "It's that hard for you to say it. I understand, it is for me, too. But everyone deserves to know."

"Even me?" piqued Akechi. "While I am flattered to be included in the group as I am rarely included in any social circles due to my inability to hold my bladder in the past, I would not want to create further misunderstandings by being accidentally included - although I am not against being allowed to remain witnessing this announcement. It has been a very exciting fifteen minutes time of being in a new school."

"Huh? Oh. Are you friends with anyone here?"

"I'm Kusuo-kun's friend."

I still have no idea what the deal with this transfer student is by the way.

"Then I trust you," said Kaidou with a friendship smile before turning serious again. "About what happened, since Saiki won't tell you the truth, I will do it. It isn't a bomb or a prank Takeshi tried to pull. It's… more than that. This unexplainable incident is due to psychic powers..."

Maybe Aiura's first attempt at a reveal is clever after all. No one will take Kaidou seriously. I tried to stop him. I didn't want him to ruin the good things that have happened.

… The good things that have happened for him.

Kaidou jabs a thumb at his chest. "… by me! I'm sorry for not telling you sonner, but I'm a psychic!"

As expected, no one cared.

In hindsight, it was obvious this was what would have happened eventually. We're from a gag manga no matter what medium we're in. Things are always going to go back to how they used to be. I'm having mixed feelings about this though since I'm the problem that has caused Kaidou to lose his character development. Maybe this is one of the two futures Aiura saw.

Wait, this is…

Hairo was the first to speak. "Kaidou-kun, are you telling the truth? Not that I don't believe you, but…"

"Of course he is!" Kuboyasu was quick to defend. "Shun would never lie. In the first place, can't you see how serious he looks? I've seriously never seen him this serious in all the years I've known him!"

You seriously haven't known him that long.

But never mind that, what's with this development?

"Kuboyasu-kun is right! Kaidou-kun may secretly be hiding a dark, sadistic side, who would love nothing more than to make me his property, but a liar he isn't!" said Yumehara-san, passionate.

Kaidou's jaw dropped. "W-wait, Yumehara-san, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying I believe you!"

"But what about everything before that part?"

"What, so I don't have a perp to pay for their crime?" Saiko snapped his fingers. "All right, I want this classroom fixed in five minutes. No, six! Make some renovations in this shabby place while you're at it."

"The Young Master has added an extra minute!"

"He really has changed!" one of the bodyguard sobbed.

Mera-san sighed in relief. "I don't have to take a shower with my clothes on."

"Hmm, this sounds like fake news." Surprisingly, it was Nendou who harboured doubts. "But if aibou believes it, then why not!"

I never said I believed any of this! How the heck did Nendou come to this conclusion?

Kaidou nodded. "Saiki knew all this time. In the past months, I felt he's been trying to find out something about me, something I've been hiding… But eventually, he stopped. He really didn't need me to say anything. I can't believe Saiki had me figured out so easily."

There were nods and hums in understanding that were saying, 'Oh yeah, of course, Saiki is totally like this description Kaidou had just made up from his ass.' What is wrong with everyone? Why are they accepting this claim easily from someone who have been saying he's been isekai'd from a fantasy world into ours up until recently?

It's true I have been trying to find out something from Kaidou, but that was about his new personality, not this!

"I'm very happy you told us Kaidou-kun, but I think we should keep this a secret from the school." Teruhashi-san had a determined, protective look over her. "It's important we protect your ordinary, everyday life."

There were another chorus of delighted and profound agreements.

I have had enough of this.

"Saiki?"

"Saiki-kun?"

"Kusuo?"

Kaidou blinked, taken back by my menacing look. Only one of my 'hairpins' is on my head. "Saiki?"

Let me tell it to you straight out. Psychic powers aren't real.

"So, you didn't use your mind control to make your friends not believe in psychic powers?" clarified my annoying brother.

Of course not. I don't know what trouble that might bring. We may accidentally enter a dystopia where belief in the supernatural or the unexplained can be punishable by law. It's also not ethically correct to change their beliefs if they're not doing anyone harm.

But I did use my mind control to make them think I'm sick with a very contagious but non-lethal disease and won't be in school for a while. I don't want them jumping to conclusions on the timing of my absence, nor come bother me at the house.

"Why did you make that scary face then?" asked Aiura. "Telling them that psychic powers aren't real."

I thought Kaidou had been cured of his eight-grade syndrome. None of his inner thoughts included any keywords indicating of delusions. His interactions with others have also been nothing but normal.

But I was wrong. Very wrong. Kaidou hadn't been cured. It became so much worse. It's so bad that his delusions are now on auto-mode, separate from his conscious state. He has become one with an incorrect programming.

Aiura thought hard about what I said. "Uh. So is it separate or not?"

Let's take people who don't believe in ghosts as example.

'Of course I don't believe in ghosts. I've never seen one.' Seeing for a lot of these people is important no matter how spooked they get. But once they think they've definitely seen one before their eyes, they'll change tune hard. As they were formerly known to staunchly not believe in ghosts, when they suddenly turn into believers, it makes for the most convincing argument.

That's how Kaidou had fallen for his own trap and why everyone believed him so easily. But that doesn't explain what has been happening before that. Something else is going on. That's what you came here to tell me, right, Akechi?

"Indeed, Kusuo-kun. But before that, do you mind if I tell you about the philosopher Zeno? It won't take a while."

I guarantee it will. But what does a philosopher have to do with the unusual happenings? No! Don't say a single word! I don't care!

Kusuke supplied for Akechi. "Zeno of Cyprus, the founder of the philosophy, Stoicism. It's a prominent philosophy that has impacted historical figures like Marcus Aurelius, Nelson Mandela, and Thomas Aquinas. Its core values are in self-improvement and inner peace to confront the chaotic, less-than-ideal world. You might be interested in learning from it, Kusuo."

"Oh, thank you. It's been bothering me that I was never able to finish my explanation in the first part of the chapter.

What the heck are you talking about? The entire story is being told from my perspective.

And what are you talking about? Aren't I the very epitome of a stoic character?

Before Kusuke can reply, the door opened. The person Akechi wanted us to meet have arrived.

"Your older brother is referring to the fact that you find your psychic powers a curse. Stoicism entails that the blame for unhappiness is not on our circumstances, but on our judgment of them. We cannot control our emotions, nor the logos of the universe, but we can decide on how we act toward them."

It's a child, but worse.

It's Kusuke, the very splitting-image of the brother I grew up with. The way he smiled gave me the shivers.

"Hello, Other Younger Brother. Hello, Other Me."