Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation
A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction
by Derald Snyder
Chapter 36- What To Do Next
"So it went badly, huh?" Noire said over the conference call between herself, Vert and Blanc. The CPUs and Candidates had mostly returned to their respective nations for the time being, to guard against any more sneak attacks by Ho-Hum.
"Poor Peach is inconsolable right now," Vert sighed forlornly. "Neptune and little Peashy are staying with her for the time being, so she doesn't go completely to pieces..."
"That's another thing that bastard Momus will have to answer for," Blanc growled. "Anyway, forensics finished going through my hard drive... they didn't find anything other than that video file of Momus and the self-destruct subroutine attached to it. They made a copy of the video to see if they can deduce anything about that bastard's identity..."
"Somehow I doubt it," Noire said. "These guys seem to be pretty good at covering their tracks... the only reason we found their first base is because Peashy told us, even if it seemed rather obvious in hindsight..."
"Well, I have a detachment of Lowee Army soldiers conducting an extensive search of the surrounding area," Blanc stated. "Might as well make those lazy bums get off their asses and do something..."
"Maybe after Peach recovers, she can retrain your soldiers like she did mine," Noire suggested. "As far as the aliens, sounds like the Deucalion is returning to low orbit for now, just in case MAGES. tries to hack the ship itself..."
"But Princess Asseylum and her retainers are remaining on the surface," Vert appended. "Though Haruhi and Neon are sticking close by them, just to be safe... I'm sure this goes without saying, but we won't know where the House of Humiliation will decide to strike next, although we might have bought some time by forcing them to abandon their first base... so we all need to stay on guard."
"Right," Blanc nodded.
"And I need to get my cosplay costumes back as well!" Noire said, causing the other two to sweat-drop.
"Are you sure they didn't burn up when the first base self-destructed?" Blanc pointed out.
"D-don't say that!" Noire squeaked, her eyes shrinking to circles. "A-at least allow me to hold on to hope, here...!"
"Blanc, maybe you could have your soldiers pick through the ruins and see if they find any clothes, just to be sure," Vert suggested.
"Fine, I'll let them know," Blanc sighed. "Just be grateful I'm willing to stick my neck out for you, Noire!"
"Of course," Noire nodded, before a wicked idea came to her. "You know, once you get past the shock factor, you really did look good with big breasts, Blanc... maybe even better than Vert!"
"WHAT?!" Vert's eyes shrank to circles in shock. "That's-! Noire, you-! How could you even suggest such a thing?! ...Blanc, stop laughing! I do NOT find this amusing!"
*Peach's Apartment*
Neptune yawned as she roused, picking herself up off the couch and shaking her head to get the cobwebs out. Once she was fully awake, she made her way to Peach's bedroom to check on her...
And stopped short at the sight. Peach was laying on her covers, still dressed in yesterday's clothes, her arm wrapped around little Peashy, who was nuzzled into her shoulder. While there were tear-streaks on the older blonde's face, she now sported a small smile, no doubt due to cuddling with her 'sister'. Unable to resist, Neptune took out her phone and took a few pictures of the sleeping duo...
But then she was interrupted as her phone vibrated, the screen showing an incoming call. (Uh-oh, it's Nep. Jr.) Quickly and quietly Neptune left the bedroom, walking out into the hallway before answering the phone. "Morning, Nep Jr! What's up?"
"Good morning, Neptune," Nepgear greeted. "So how's Peashy? The older one, I mean."
"Eh, a little better. She's sleeping with P-ko right now. Anything going on back home I should know about?"
"Well, I just checked Chirper... it seems there's quite a few people who think Asseylum and the other aliens don't really come in peace," Nepgear worried. "They think they were just testing our defenses for an upcoming invasion..."
"OK, first of all, you know that Chirper only represents a small portion of the general population, right?" Neptune pointed out. "I made the same mistake too, before Histy pointed that fact out to me..."
"Why am I not surprised?" Nepgear sighed in a slightly facetious tone.
"Seriously, though, you wanna calm the people's fears? Hold a press conference with the princess and have her speak to them directly. And make sure you get the point across that it was the bad guys that caused the kerfuffle, not the aliens."
"Okay... that sounds like a good idea," Nepgear said. "I'll get Histoire and Asseylum and get things set up right away! ...um, but I do hope you can come back home soon..."
"As soon as Big Peashy can stand on her feet again," Neptune stated. "Bye for now, Nep Jr! Love ya!"
"Love you too, Neptune," Nepgear said before hanging up.
"Neptuna... what's going on...?" Neptune whirled around to see Peach standing at the door, her hair out of it's usual ponytail.
"Just talking with Nep Jr," the CPU responded. "You holdin' up okay?"
"Not really," Peach sighed, leaning heavily on the door frame. "I can't... what would push Adrian to do something like this?! Little Peashy thinks he was tricked, but Adrian's not stupid..."
"Okay, first, let's get inside and sit down," Neptune said, guiding Peach back inside and closing the door, the two then sitting down on the couch. "Now, you remember what Kuma said about these Ho-Hum guys?"
"Yeah, I was the one who interrogated him..." Peach nodded. "He said they're just trying to keep you guys on your toes in case a more dangerous threat comes around..."
"Right, well, was Vert like, gettin' really lazy after that Demon Lord was sent packing?" Neptune queried.
Peach's head lifted up slightly at hearing that. "Now that you mention it... it was a bit of a struggle to even get her to go outside, before all this craziness started... I did complain about it to Adrian a few times... y-you think that's why-?!"
"Could be," Neptune shrugged. "Not to mention, that evil kitty cat we beat down alongside Etna is part of that group too... maybe he's sticking around to keep an eye on her, so she doesn't hijack the villain role like Pig-on from the Legend of Hilda series..."
"Ugh..." Peach grimaced as she looked down at the floor. "Geez, I didn't even think of that... stupid C-grade average brain!" She smacked herself on the head with both hands. "Why do I have to be so stupid sometimes?!"
"Don't say that!" another voice spoke up, Peach and Neptune turning to see little Peashy standing there with a pout on her face. "Big Sis isn't dumb! Pea is dumb, because Pea can't get any bigger than five years old! At least Big Sister is all growed up! You can live by yourself, you can go to a job... Pea can't do any of that!"
"Um, P-ko, being a CPU is kinda your job..." Neptune said in response. "Heck, you could say Mini-Histy is your boss, 'cause she makes sure you and Plutie don't slack off too much!"
"So Histoire is your boss, then?" Peach ribbed.
"Um, yeah, I guess..." Neptune ducked her head. "A-anyway, aren't kinda going off the rails here? We were talking about why your boyfriend's with the bad guys..."
"Like Pea said, Mr. Adrian got tricked!" Peashy insisted. "It's not your fault, Big Sis!"
"I-I know, I know," Peach sighed as she got up, walking over to Peashy and lifting her up in her arms. "Actually, Neptuna just said that he joined because Vert got too lazy..."
"That's what Mom-Us said about Neptuna!" Peashy gasped in realization. "See?! That proves Mr. Adrian was tricked!"
"Right, right, point taken, P-ko," Neptune cut in. "Anyhow, now that we're all up, how 'bout we go get some breakfast?"
"A light breakfast," Peach insisted. "I'm the only one with money, and I probably have just enough to pay for three normal-sized stomachs..."
"Pea doesn't eat that much!" Peashy protested.
"I think she's referring to me, P-ko," Neptune shook her head. "Just get me a high-calorie breakfast sandwich, then... that'll hold me over 'til I get back home."
"Pea wants eggs and toast! Over-easy!" Peashy exclaimed.
"Alright, off to the nearest fast-food joint, then..." Peach affirmed.
*Ho-Hum W-2 Base*
"Dammit, I'm freezing my ass off here!" Underling complained, her jacket zipped up as she shivered with her arms crossed. "Can't we get some heat going in here?!"
"I agree, chu!" Warechu said he sat on a chair with tiny icicles on his whiskers.
"Dr. Pop is working on that as we speak," Overlord Momus shot back. "I don't like this any more than you, but there are only so many abandoned bases or outposts that we can use... beggars can't be choosers."
"I kn-kn-know th-that all t-too well," Tenten Ryghts said through chattering teeth, dressed in one of Noire's thicker costumes to try and stay warm.
"I think my muscles are starting to freeze!" Dogoo Man grunted. "Maybe I should go outside for a jog or something!"
"Wait, I have an idea," Momus snapped his fingers. "Linda, Warechu, Dogoo Man, I have an assignment for you, in Lastation..."
"Anywhere is better than here!" Linda snapped. "So what do we do?"
"I'll tell you once the author ends the chapter..." Momus' single eye looked out of your screen...
*To be continued...*