Snippet 196

Repair My Relationship, Toriel

Genre: Humor/Romance

Pairs: Ozpin/Salem, Lunar Tides (Jaune/Lapis), Jaded Rogues (Emerald/Mercury), Other pairs undecided

Parody: RWBY/Undertale

AU-Type: R4S Canon-eqsue AU (Latter Half of V3 Never Happens)

Tags: R4S Elements, Grimm King was stopped before he could be unsealed, Cinder was jailed instead of killed (Maiden powers stripped), Ilia's still dead, Emerald and Mercury defected and are with Toriel, Lapis merged with her sister sooner, Chruch of Salem was also crushed, Salem wants to rekindle her past love, Team YUKI isn't the focus here, Toriel-centric, Psychologist!Toriel, Bits of Disengaged Salem, Adam Was Killed by Yuki

Note: For this universe, Toriel is not only a child psychologist, but a marriage counselor.

"Let me get this straight. You came to Beacon to offer surrender if Ozpin goes with you to couples counseling." Qrow said. "Bullshit!"

Salem had literally crashed through the wall to Ozpin's office in the meeting between Ozpin's circle and Team YUKI with their allies. Everyone was ready to fight only for Salem to blurt out her 'demands'.

"I can detect lies using one of the semblances I got my mitts." Yuki said having Serena materialize to deal with that.

"I detect that Salem's word were truth, Yuki." Serena said before vanishing.

Yuki had an incredulous look but turned his attention to Ozpin who was sweating bullets. One by one, his allies and Yuki's allies were all glaring at him. Basically saying without words, 'Accept this or else'.

"You can't be serious?" Ozpin said only for them to aim their weapons at him. "Wha-Seriously?!"

"Serena, call Toriel to arrange a few sessions on Ozpin's dime." Yuki affirmed.

"This is for your own good, Ozpin. Think of the lives you are saving." Ironwood said coldly.

"And what makes you think that I'll just agree to this?! Because you threat-" Ozpin said before Glynda smashed a mug on the back of his head knocking him out.

She tossed him to Salem and gave her the address for Toriel's office on Patch. As Salem left with him, the group looked at each other.

"So, what we do now?" Lapis asked.

"We throw a party with cake and ice cream." Ivory said excitedly. "With booze and strippers!"

"Ivory, no on the strippers. Besides it'd just be you on the pole." Yuki remarked.

"Not if I get Yang to help me…" Ivory teased.

Qrow decided to smack a woman that day.

O=[O]=O

When Ozpin awoke, he realized he was in an office. He scrambled up to see Toriel with crossed arms. Ozpin scrambled for the door only for it to vanish thanks to Emerald's illusions. He pounded on the wall screaming.

"Help, brother Gods! Let me out!" Ozpin said Toriel cleared her throat.

"Ozpin, quit acting like a child. Salem, the immature pup, is sitting on the couch. Join her." Toriel said firmly.

Ozpin decided to try to jump out the window only to be grabbed by Toriel and flung into the seat.

"Now, that you're both seated. I will say I am surprised. Never would I thought you two would be here for counseling. Ironic considering Ozma's numerous spouses and children across his lives. Yes, I am having Team YUKI investigating that. But I want you two to know, whatever happens in here stays in here." Toriel said before looking to Salem. "Salem, tell me why you decided on this."

"I…can't take it anymore. I've focused on fighting humanity for so long. This was welling in me. I asked myself why I am even bothering. I have minions, but I don't have friends. All the people around me either want to use me, betray me, worship me or just want the world to burn. I turn Hazel to Vale after Team YUKI hoping that he would be killed. What kind of person tries to kill me several times only to join my side seeing there's no hope? A nutcase! And I enable it. I have a fervent worshipper of me…but having someone repeatedly worship you gets tiring. I don't have anyone to connect to." Salem said as she got more and more forlorn.

"I see. You're clearly showing burnout. I figured this would happen to you eventually. Immortality isn't exactly fun until you got something fulfilling to do with it. It can also be very lonesome. I can relate…" Toriel said understandingly. "Ozpin, does that put you at ease?"

"I'm still unsure if this is a long con or not." Ozpin said with his guard up.

"Fair enough. You two have been at each others' throats for far too long. I'm going to be honest with the both of you as neither of you scare me. I did come prepared for this. Considering Yuki told you who he works for, Ozpin…" Toriel remarked as Ozpin flinched. "Salem, I'll start with you. What a see is overgrown brat with a spot of entitlement. Now I understand why you damned the world, even if it was disgustingly selfish. All you thought about was what YOU wanted. Not helping that the Grimm dip did not help your mental state."

Salem looked downcast before Toriel turned to Ozpin.

"And Ozpin. You didn't help by going to her, having kids with her, and then not getting Salem the needed mental help considering the Grimm juice was screwing with her broken head. Speaking of those kids, I'm not going to tear into you two for what happened. You both are really haunted by the loss of them." Toriel said as both Ozpin and Salem went quiet. "I do want to ask…did you two get to properly mourn?"

They both nodded as Toriel sighed.

"I'm going to need to have to multiple sessions." Toriel said firmly.

O=[O]=O

[After 2 Sessions]

"Ok, we got you both to open up. Let's keep talking about your past. Your adventures before Ozma's first death?" Toriel said.

Salem opened up gratefully gushing about the good times. Ozpin was surprised to see Salem open up about their adventures eventually joining in the conversation. It was be after a while that the two come to a realization.

"Wait, that was you?!" They both said in shock. "But then…"

"Yes, we survived the purge." Toriel remarked.

"We?!" Salem remarked.

"Mt. Ebbott's Underground was not scathed by the Brothers. Bits of the old world still remain there." Toriel remarked.

"Then are Full Moon Pies still a thing?!" Salem said excitedly. "I missed those."

"I could go for one too." Ozpin said.

"I'll make some for our next station." Toriel promised.

O=[O]=O

[After 4 Sessions]

Ozpin and Salem were eating Full Moon Pies as Toriel cleared his throat getting their attention.

"Ok, let's talk about your past intimacy." Toriel said as both nearly choked on their pies. "Oh, you think I wasn't going to ask about it."

Both Salem and Ozpin both at each other and then both tried to get out of the window. They succeeded getting out, but Toriel just used a snap and teleported downstairs and grabbed them by the scruff of their collars.

"You're not escaping this. I have a feeling you two may have been foolishing around during your war. Hate sex, I believe the term is." Toriel mused.

"No!" They cried out in embarrassment.

"Should I call Yuki and have use that lie detector semblance?" Toriel said as the two blushed bright red. "Yeah, I thought so. Now let's go back and talk about it."

O=[O]=O

[After 10 Sessions]

Toriel decided to end the session early to let Ozpin and Salem spend some time together. It had been 10 sessions they had so far, and the two wanted a break from her. Plus, Toriel had suggested they spend time together. So, the two went hunting for their old house they had first meet in.

"So, how's Beacon?" Salem asked as they trekked.

"Ugh, Yuki split the beans about you and I. Now Qrow is asking how freaky you were in sex and most of the males see me as the Chad who Banged the Grimm Queen. On top of that, Yuki saw more of the 'original timeline' and had a mental freak out so hard that the Grimm fled Emerald Forest and Vale." Ozpin said exacerbated. "Then he left work for a week and came out with Arthur Watts with his arms torn off to hand to Ironwood. And the general shoots Watts dead in my office!"

"So, that's what happened to Watts? Well, you mentioned Yuki was a good technician. Think you can convince me to set me up with a gaming set up? I've been getting some of those video games these humans made. I really like DustCraft." Salem mused.

"Personally, I prefer Remnant Terraria." Ozpin said only for them to come to a stop. "I think we found it."

"It has seen better days." Salem said sadly. "Like us…"

"I never did think that losing the kids would have hurt you so deep…" Ozpin admitted.

"I was in a haze in our fight and not in a good place mentally. It doesn't excuse what I did to them. My punishment was a continued reminder of them in my nightmares…you can at least chock it up to me going nuts." Salem said haggardly. "I miss my daughters..."

The rest of the day was spent in silence.

O=[O]=O

[After 11 Sessions]

Ozpin and Salem were slowly hard at work repairing the place wanting to restore it to it's former glory.

O=[O]=O

[After 15 Sessions]

It was finally done. The house was restored and refurbished with the two laying the last brick. Of course, this called for a celebrating. The two sat on the porch swing nursing glasses of wine.

"You know Tyrian found out about the sessions? He's jealous someone got in his queen's pants before he could." Salem said as Ozpin drank his glass.

"What a simpleton. He worships for a woman who will give little praise." Ozpin said pouring another glass. "I'm glad we were able to save the place. I could use a getaway. Managing a school can be torture."

"I figured dealing with kids would be easy for you." Salem said.

"Try dealing with teenagers who hormonal, cranky, and have a wide variety of powers. You get chaos." Ozpin said as Salem laughed.

"Try dealing with minions…though I only do have one now. What did you do with Cinder and her allies?" Salem remarked.

"Some turned on her, some defected, and most are dead. Yeah…most of the White Fang of Vale. Dead. But we shouldn't be worrying about that. Not in our alone time." Ozpin said. "More wine?"

"Definitely." Salem said.

After several bottles, the two remnants of the old world were rather intoxicated snuggling up each other on that porch swing.

"Hey Ozma…it's getting cold out." Salem said with her cheek flushed. "We should start a fire in the fireplace…it's getting chilly."

"Or…we can do something else to keep ourselves warm?" Ozpin suggested.

"Oh, you bad." Salem teased taking a bottle and downing the entire wine bottle. "But that's good for me."

Ozpin was the more carrying her inside.

O=[O]=O

[After 20 Sessions]

"Well, Ozpin. I believe we can celebrate. The Crown is dismantled and the Grimm threat is down!" Yuki said blowing a noisemaker.

There was a small gathering in the Dragon's Den of Beacon to celebrate recent victories. There was cake, ice cream, and cookies.

"Ever since Salem went to therapy, things have brightened up." Lapis said taking Jaune's hand. "I feel more at peace."

"And Yuki can finally stop caring about the original timeline." Peach said as Yuki ate some cake.

"We should be weary in case." Ironwood remarked.

"You never know what will come in the future." Winter said sipping some soda. "Especially that history's changed."

"What's the change that could happen?" Amber asked.

Salem came in through the doors looking seemingly downcast only to suddenly show a brighter smile that give Yuki a chill.

"Um, Salem? You're here." Ozpin said.

"Yes, because I have some good news. We're going to get a second chance at being parents, because I'm pregnant." Salem said an earnest look of happiness.

That killed the party as Qrow dropped his flask and Jaune nearly choked on cake. Ozpin looked shocked, but everyone else looked at Ozpin who looked like he wanted to disappear.

"Congratulations." Yuki said calming down. "I assume you both will be busy raising that bundle of joy meaning Salem is officially no longer our enemy, right?"

"Sure. I never not have the little one be killed in the crossfire." Salem said as Ozpin was still quiet.

"When did this happen?" Ivory asked.

"Oh, the nights he and I spent together in our cozy hideaway." Salem said as Ozpin facepalmed.

Salem had to prevent half of the partygoers form killing him. Others just watched and laughed. For what it was worth, Remnant had something resemblance peace.

(A/N: And that's one way to end Remnant's Four Shadows. Just kidding, though. This was funny to write and I enjoyed this one. The kid's potential name? Janara. No sequel for this one, you'll be using your imagination for that one. Next time, something involving Jaune.)