Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation
A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction
by Derald Snyder
Chapter 41- Plutia Returns
*Planeptune Basilicom*
Plutia walked up to the Basilicom's entrance with a small amount of trepidation, giving her Neptune doll a squeeze to reassure herself. (I hope Neppy's not mad at me for what I did last time... I did kinda jump to conclusions...) Walking through the front door, she greeted one of the priests. "Um, is Neppy here?"
"Lady Neptune is out at the moment," the NPC priest shook his head. "Nepgear and Uzume are here, however, as are the aliens..."
"Oh, the aliens came back?" Plutia pondered. "Maybe I can apologize to them for what I did..."
"They should be on the third floor," the priest informed her.
"Thank you~!" Plutia smiled, before skipping to the elevator...
*Third Floor*
"Um, excuse me..." Plutia asked the two women, one older and one younger, "Do you know where the aliens are...?"
"You're talking to two of them, young lady," the older woman answered. "I'm Urusei Yatsura, and this is Mikuru Asahina. We're the retainers to Princess Asseylum of the Vers Empire-tcha..."
"EH? Princess?!" Plutia's eyes shrank to circles. "I-I thought there was only a goddess and her Oracle...!"
"We arrived a bit later," Mikuru explained. "We came to establish diplomatic relations with this planet... d-don't worry, we come in peace... right, Oracle?" She spoke to Neon as she walked in, only for the Oracle to stop dead in her tracks. "I-is something wrong?"
"Umm... hello?" Plutia ventured hesitantly.
"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Neon promptly let loose with a blood-curdling scream, doing an about-face and fleeing! "Milady, she's back! Save meeee!"
"Huh?!" Mikuru's eyes shrank to pinpricks in disbelief.
"My word, I've never seen Oracle Evangelion act like that before-tcha!" Urusei said, a hand over her chest from shock. "Just what did you do to her, young lady?!"
"I-I just scared her a bit...!" Plutia stammered. Just then, Haruhi herself appeared in a flash of light, her eyes filled with contempt toward the pajama-clad CPU.
"Well, well, look who decided to come back," the alien goddess growled in disdain. "Didn't you learn your lesson last time, Iris Heart?"
"B-but I didn't do anything!" Plutia asserted, sweating a bit. "Sh-she just looked at me and screamed...!"
"She's right!" Mikuru nodded vigorously. "P-please, don't do anything rash...!"
"I'm fine, Mikuru, don't worry," Haruhi assured her as she walked in front of Plutia. "So, did you come back to say sorry?"
"W-well, I was gonna say sorry to Neppy... b-but I'm really sorry I jumped the gun about you...! Please don't beat me up again!" Plutia pleaded.
"Um, Ma'nabatea, I think we could use some context here-tcha..." Urusei requested.
"Oh, right. Basically, this girl had the audacity to toss a doll into Neon's lap, then she transformed into a dominatrix and threatened to torture Neon, so I stepped in," Haruhi explained.
"D-dominatrix?!" Mikuru gasped. "B-but, she looks nothing like that...!"
"I'm only like that when I transform," Plutia insisted. "I'm really not so bad once you get to know me... besides, I thought you guys were the invade-and-conquer type..."
"Well, to be fair, my father is a conquerer of sorts," Asseylum spoke as she stepped into the room, "but I have no intention of doing so, nor do any of my fellow visitors here."
"Oh, are you the princess?" Plutia asked with a finger to her chin. "You sure look like one..."
"I am indeed, Princess Asseylum Aldnoah Zero of Vers. And you are?"
"I'm Plutia! I'm the CPU of Planeptune in the Ultradimension!" Plutia greeted happily. "Neppy and I are best friends~!"
"By which you mean Lady Neptune, I presume," Urusei guessed.
"That's right!" Plutia nodded.
"Y-you come from another d-dimension?!" Mikuru gasped. "I-I've heard of parallel dimensions, but...!"
"It's really not that different from here," Plutia shrugged. "My Planeptune's not quite as advanced as this one is... I try my best, but I'm no good with paperwork, so Mini-Histy usually has to do it for me..."
"Mini-Histy...? You mean, you have a Histoire fairy, too? I wanna see it!" Mikuru said.
"I would like to see this parallel dimension, myself," Asseylum nodded. "What do you think, Ma'nabatea?"
"Hmmm..." Haruhi closed her eyes in thought. "Y'know, in normal circumstances I'd be fine with it, but there's the matter of Neon's trauma with this CPU..."
"Well, maybe she could stay here while the rest of us go," John Smith said as he walked up. "I'd like to see the Ultradimension too. It's like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for a former NPC like myself..."
"Please, Lady Haruhi?" Mikuru pleaded.
"...wow, you must really want it if you're calling me by my preferred alias. Well... all right, I guess we can go over there for a while," Haruhi conceded. "I'll go tell Neon to hold down the fort while we're gone..."
"And tell her I'm sorry. Please~?" Plutia requested.
"I'll do that," Haruhi acquiesced as she left to go find her Oracle...
*And so, a short while later...*
"So~, this is the gate between dimensions that we all made with a bunch of Shares," Plutia said as the group approached the gate in question. Dragon Ball had also declined to go with them, wanting to help train Nepgear and Uzume in preparation for further attacks. "See, Neppy got stuck in my dimension at first, but then some bad guys started wreaking havoc, so we had to find a way to come back here..."
"I assume you're talking about when Rei Ryghts almost leveled this nation a while back?" John Smith said.
"Uh huh, but we managed to stop her," Plutia nodded.
"Just FYI, she's not a threat anymore," Haruhi spoke up. "Neon and I met her in Lowee, she works as a lawyer there now..."
"Glad to hear she saw the error of her ways-tcha," Urusei said with a smile.
"So, do we just walk right through?" Asseylum inquired.
"Yep! That's all there is to it! Just like walking through a door!" Plutia responded. "Okay~, here we go!" The group slowly proceeded through the gate, John briefly looking back before following...
*Planeptune City (Ultradimension)*
"Ta-daa! Welcome to my Planeptune!" Plutia announced.
"Oh my, it does seem a bit more quaint than the other one," Urusei observed as the group walked down the street.
"Yeah, this is a bit different," John concurred. "Not in a bad way, though."
"Oh hey! Looks like we got some new visitors!" a familiar voice called out, the group turning to see...
"EH? Lady Neptune?!" Mikuru gasped. "I thought you were in Leanbox...!"
"Uh... nope, wrong Neptune. You're thinking of Tiny Me," Adult Neptune chuckled, closing one eye and sticking out her tongue.
"It's okay, I was a bit confused too when I first met her," Plutia said. "I was like, 'Neppy, when did you get so big?'"
"Oh!" Mikuru gasped at realizing that this Neptune was a bit more 'mature' than the one she knew. "I-I'm so sorry, Miss Other Neptune...!"
"Eh, I prefer Big Neptune," Adult Neptune demurred. "Anyway, Lady Plutia, I'm guessing you're showing them around?"
"Uh-huh! I was gonna take them to my Basilicom," Plutia nodded. "But, Big Neppy, you don't have to call me 'Lady', okay? Just Plutia is fine..."
"Eh-heh, sorry," Adult Neptune ducked her head. "I'm not quite as familiar with you as Tiny Me is..."
"There you are!" another voice shouted, a lilac-haired woman jogging up, clad in a blue/white sweater, short shorts and pantyhose with short white boots. "Neptune, you weren't trying to sneak off to the other dimension without telling me again, were you?"
"Ack! Mom!" Neptune panicked, quickly turning to face the new arrival. "Uh, hi... nope, I was just saying hello to the tourists here, that's all!"
"Oh, really?" Neptune's mother raised an eyebrow. "Last time, you disappeared on me for years! I was worried sick! You know that, don't you?!"
"I said I was sorry!" Neptune shot back. "Besides, I promised I'd come home more often from now on..."
"Excuse me," Asseylum spoke up, "Are you really this Neptune's mother?"
"Huh? Oh yes, silly me, I forgot my manners!" Neptune's mother chuckled. Curtsying politely, she greeted, "I'm Umbriel, Neptune's mother. I assume you're from Hyperdimension?"
"Technically, yes," Asseylum nodded, "however, we actually hail from the Animenga Star Cluster, light years away..."
"Wait... y-you're aliens?!" Umbriel freaked. "Ahhh! Save me, Neptune!" She dove behind her daughter. "I don't wanna be abducted and cut up have my organs harvested...!"
"Seriously?!" Haruhi ducked her head in frustration.
"I second that!" Neptune rolled her eyes.
"Yare, yare, that didn't take long," John Smith face-palmed. "Okay, look, I'm not an alien, all right? And I've been traveling with this one for a while," he pointed to Haruhi, "and I can safely say they're on the level. If anyone's organs were gonna be harvested, it would've been mine, okay?"
"That's right, Miss Umbriel," Mikuru approached the two. "I might come from far away, but I'm as human as you are... and so is Princess Asseylum, and G Gundam here, okay?"
"R-really...?" Umbriel peeked out from behind Neptune.
"Really and truly."
"Oh... okay. Right..." Umbriel stood up and stepped away from her daughter, composing herself. "Um, (ahem) sorry for jumping to conclusions..."
"Honestly, Mom," Neptune groaned, "I could tell right away they weren't bad guys, sheesh... Plutia wouldn't be guiding them around if that was the case!"
"Eh heh heh heh..." Umbriel turned a nice shade of cherry red. "R-right, she'd be going HDD on them if that was the case..."
"Her HDD form already traumatized my Oracle," Haruhi sighed, before making introductions. "Anyway, we're heading to see Plutia's Basilicom, if you wanna join us..."
"Oh, I'd love to see the Basilicom up close and personal!" Umbriel exclaimed. "I usually live out in the country, so..."
"Of course you can come along, Big Neppy-mom!" Plutia beamed.
"Umbriel, please..."
*Planeptune Basilicom*
"Oh, you came back quickly," Histoire greeted, standing on her tome as usual. "And you seem to have brought some visitors..."
"Oh, this is your Histoire~? It's even cuter than the other one!" Mikuru cooed as she ran up to the tiny fairy. "I wanna take it home with me...!"
"Sorry, Mini-Histy's aaaaall mine~," Plutia shook her head. "If you really want, though, I could make a Mini-Histy doll for you..."
"Really? I would love that! Thank you so much!" Mikuru squeed in joy.
"You're not the first one to have said that," Mini-Histy sweat-dropped. "Anyway, Plutia could you introduce your new friends?" So Plutia did, Histoire's eyes shrinking to circles as the implications hit. "...h-honest to goodness extraterrestrials?!"
"Save me," John Smith spoke up. "I'm just a former NPC from Lowee along for the ride."
"Don't worry, Mini-Histy, if Neppy trusts them, then so do I!" Plutia proclaimed.
"Even though you went Iris Heart on them last time you visited?" John snarked.
"Yeah, that's the reason my Oracle's not with us," Haruhi ducked her head. "I taught her a lesson, though."
"You sure did," Plutia said grimly. "I never stood a chance, even going all-out..."
"Y-you managed to defeat Plutia in HDD form?!" Histoire gasped in disbelief. "I... I've never heard of that happening before, o-other than hopeless boss fights! J-just what kind of goddess are you...?!"
"The kind that's not dependent on people's faith to sustain myself," Haruhi shrugged. "FYI, Iris Heart didn't exactly go out like a punk, either... It's rare that I have to use 10% of my full power to defeat someone foolish enough to challenge me directly."
"Th-that's not exactly reassuring...!" Mini-Histy cried, sweating profusely.
"Eh, it's fine," John shrugged. "Other than the occasional prank or raining spaghetti and meatballs on everyone's heads, she's mostly harmless."
"Pffft! S-spaghetti and meatballs?! I woulda loved to see that!" Adult Neptune tried to stifle her laughter.
"Aaaaanyway, getting back to dolls... does anyone else want one~?" Plutia asked. "I've got dolls of aaaall my fellow CPUs!" She pointed to a bookshelf where said dolls were prominently displayed.
"The Blanc doll looks cute, I'll take one of those," G Gundam requested.
"Yeah, me too, for my little sister back home," John appended.
"I think I'm a little too old for dolls now," Asseylum shook her head.
"...Would it be possible for you to make a doll in my image-tcha, except a bit younger?" Urusei asked. "My Darling back home would like that..."
"Sure!" Plutia nodded. "It might take a little while, though... if I don't get it done before you go back, I'll just give it to Neppy."
"Yeah, I can take care of it," Big Neptune nodded. "I warp anywhere thanks to a certain bug in my Nep-Note!"
"I'm not a bug!" Croire protested from Neptune's pocket.
"Oh, so that's where she disappeared to," Mini-Histy muttered. "Well, that's one less thing to worry about, I guess..." Just then, an NPC soldier ran into the room.
"Lady Plutia!" the soldier cried breathlessly. "We have an emergency! There's a dragon zombie wreaking havoc at the city limits! The army's getting overwhelmed! We need you!"
"Oh, boo," Plutia sighed in annoyance. "Guess the custom doll will have to wait... Histy, can you give the aliens a tour for me, please?"
"That's fine, but I recommend at least going outside before you transform," Histoire suggested.
"It's okay~! I'll just go out the window, it's faster!" With that, Plutia jogged to said window and pushed it open. "Here I go~!" She was promptly engulfed in a pillar of light, which faded to reveal the dreaded Iris Heart.
"Oh my!" Urusei gasped. "And Lady Neptune said my battle bikini was raunchy...!"
"Eeeeep!" Mikuru promptly hid herself behind Haruhi. "N-no wonder Oracle Neon was t-traumatized...!"
"I-I second that!" Umbriel nodded vigorously, hiding behind her daughter again.
"Oh, don't worry," Iris looked back with a smirk, "the only one getting traumatized today is that monster!" With that, she promptly dove out the window, materializing her processor wings and flying off.
"...Am I the only one who thinks she's kinda hot?" John said, only to get dope-slapped by Haruhi.
*To be continued...*