Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 42- Two Planeptunes

*Nepgear's Workshop*

"You look a little sweaty, Nepgear," Uni commented from the holo-screen above Nepgear's workbench. "Maybe you need to take a break from working on Nepgya..."

"Oh no, this is from early morning training with Uzume and Dragon Ball," Nepgear explained. "I've only just started working on Nepgya... it shouldn't be too hard to reattach her head, since I did it once before... the real problem is the hair! Do you know how long it took me to find just the right synthetic material to mimic my lilac-colored locks?! And while it's not super-expensive, it's not exactly cheap, either!"

"Um, Nepgear..."

"At least things should go a little easier this time, since I won't have to rebuild Nepgya's AI from the ground up..."

"NEPGEAR!"

"WAH! What the goodness! Why are you yelling, Uni?!" Nepgear cried.

"You were going off on a tinkering tangent again!" Uni pointed out. "That's not why you called me, is it?"

"O-oh, right... sorry," Nepgear sweat-dropped. "You're right, there was another reason I called... hang on." Typing at a virtual keyboard, another holo-screen popped up, showing the John Smith ransom video. "This is video footage of Generic Ninja #25, I wanted to ask you if he looked familiar at all..."

"Why would he look familiar to me?" Uni pondered quizzically.

"Well, I thought maybe that Generic Ninja #25 might actually be Steamax of AffimaX, since none of us ever saw him outside of his robot armor... except you, Uni."

"What?! Y-you think Steamax is the one that helped that Rei clone steal Noire's cosplay costumes?!" Uni asked in disbelief.

"Well, it would explain why he never tried to intercept Tenten when she snuck past you and K-Sha," Nepgear extrapolated. "I don't want to believe it myself, but we have to consider all possibilities... So, does this guy look like Steamax to you?"

"Umm... can you zoom in a little?" Uni requested, Nepgear promptly doing so. "Hmmm... Well, the hairstyle is similar, and he's got the right skin tone... but with those sunglasses and that bandanna over his face, it's hard to say one way or the other... sorry, Nepgear."

"N-no, it's alright," Nepgear shook her head. "I agree, with so much of his face covered, it's impossible to make a solid ID... Um, but does Steamax have any distinguishing features that sets him apart from others?"

Uni bit her lip in thought. "Well, there IS one thing, but he's kinda sensitive about it..."

"Please, Uni?" Nepgear pleaded.

"Well... he's actually heterochromatic," the twin-tailed goddess stated. "His left eye is blue, while his right eye is black... it's actually the same in his robot armor form, if you remember..."

"Oh, yeah! Now that you mention it... and here I thought it was just because that eye was shorted out or something!" Nepgear mused. "Like, in some cool battle with another robo-ninja or something..."

"Of course you would," Uni rolled her eyes, though she had a smile on her face. "So, what about Princess Asseylum and the others? Are they heading to Leanbox to meet LASA?"

"Actually, Plutia came back and apologized, and took the group save DB and Neon to her Planeptune," Nepgear explained. "I figured it wasn't a bad idea, since it doesn't seem Ho-Hum has the capability to operate in Ultradimension..."

"Does Neptune know about that?"

"I sent her a text earlier," Nepgear affirmed. "Her response was basically, 'hope nothing happens that causes her to go Sadie again...'"

"I-I hope not either," Uni sweat-dropped.

*Speaking of which...*

"So the CPUs here all used to be human?" Asseylum inquired.

"That is correct," Histoire nodded. "But in order to become a goddess, you need a specific item called a CPU Memory... and only very few women are compatible. If you aren't compatible, the CPU Memory instead turns you into a disgusting monster..."

"Ewww!" Mikuru did a full-body cringe. "I-is there any way to reverse that?! Please tell me there is...!"

"Someone did find a way to revert that transformation, yes," Mini-Histy nodded. "Most of those girls that were formerly monsters are under the care of a certain Mr. Badd... he's an ex-villain, by the way."

"Well, that explains the name," John Smith snarked. "Any other ex-villains we should know about? I know there's a Rei Ryghts here..."

"No one worth mentioning..." Mini-Histy demurred. "Unless anyone here happens to be an eggplant lover, that is."

"Oh, did someone try to take advantage of Neptune's hatred of eggplants?" Haruhi guessed.

"Yes, but it got so ridiculous that it didn't effect Neptune anymore, and so the villain lost," Histoire expounded. "Afterwards, that woman settled down and became an eggplant farmer for real, though we still keep an eye on her, just to be safe..."

"I'm back!" Plutia called as she walked into the room, her hair looking a bit more disheveled then usual, clothes also slightly torn and dirty. "That dragon zombie was tough, but I got 'em!"

"Excellent work," Histoire smiled. "But, it looks like you could use a bath..."

"Um, Lady Plutia...?" Mikuru ventured hesitantly. "M-may I ask why you're so different when you t-transform...?"

"...Do you reeeeeeeeaally wanna know that~?" Plutia replied, a smirk on her slightly shadowed face.

"Eep!" Mikuru immediately dove behind Haruhi again. "Sorry, sorry! I-I was just curious!"

"I'm guessing some sort of repressed childhood trauma," John Smith deadpanned. "Not that it's any of my business..."

"I had a friend who was constantly abused verbally by her mother..." Urusei mused. "She was pretty messed up for a while because of that-tcha..."

"Oh, really?" A pillar of light, and suddenly Iris Heart was standing before the elder alien. "Don't think you can equate in anyway with what I suffered as a child... Only Neppy and Noire from here know the full story, and they know better than to disturb that hornet's nest..."

"Ahh! M-my sincere apologies-tcha!" Urusei babbled in fear.

"Don't even think about it, Iris Heart!" Haruhi warned.

"Oh no, I understand that this old, senile lady doesn't know any better," Iris stated. "I'm just giving her fair warning, is all."

"C-consider me warned-tcha!" Urusei nodded frantically.

"Good." Another flash, and Plutia was back to normal. "Aaaaanyway~, I'm gonna go take a bath now. Bye bye!" With that, Plutia skipped off, causing everyone present to release their held breath.

"Geez, that was scary!" G Gundam shivered.

"I'm starting to see now why Oracle Evangelion was so traumatized," Asseylum spoke up. "Lady Plutia is like night and day when she transforms..."

"Indeed, even I am not totally safe from her punishments, though she has been slightly better behaved as of late," Mini-Histy sighed. "Of course, that could be due to the author's preferences..."

"Author...?" Asseylum tilted her head quizzically.

"Never mind," Haruhi stated firmly. "It's something only goddesses like myself understand, okay? Still..." She took on a contemplative pose. "If I, who am already a goddess, ate one of those CPU Memories, I wonder what would happen?"

"I can't say for sure, due to your extraterrestrial nature," Histoire shook her head. "I would hypothesize that it would either have no effect, or give you a transformation similar to a CPU's Hard Drive Divinity..."

"And now I'm thinking of Haruhi with white hair, processor wings and a bunny suit," John Smith snarked.

"B-bunny suit...?" Mikuru suppressed a giggle.

"That reminds me, when Ma'nabatea first appeared to my father, she wore a bunny suit to get him to relax," Asseylum recalled with a giggle.

"R-really?!" G Gundam gasped.

"Gah! Did you have to tell him that?!" Haruhi buried her face in her hands, causing a round of laughter while John found himself also blushing furiously...

*Ho-Hum W-2 Base*

"Testing, one, two, one, two..." Overlord Momus spoke. "Ah, good, my vox encoder is working now." Opening the door, he stepped out to address his subordinates...

"HA! I win-chu!" Warechu cried as his on-screen car came in first place.

"You cheated!" Linda protested.

"Shortcuts aren't cheating, chu!"

"They are when you take advantage of a glitch to achieve said shortcut," Adrian commented from nearby.

"B-but, she woulda done the same thing, chu!" Warechu stammered.

"SILENCE!" Momus boomed, the trio immediately abandoning their racing game and standing at attention. "Better. Now that I'm back in form, the time has come to enact our next evil plot..."

"So how're we gonna screw over those CPUs this time, chu?" Warechu asked.

"Generic Ninja #25!" Momus called, said ninja appearing at his side not a moment later. "Have you been keeping tabs on that one ship?"

"Of course I have," Ninja #25 replied. "Is it time to make our move, then?"

"It is. Take Soldier #20, BlackGatomon and the Tenga with you. You know what to do."

"As you will, Overlord Momus," the ninja bowed.

*To be continued...*