Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation
A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction
by Derald Snyder
Chapter 44- Mountain Climb
*Peach's Apartment*
"So, you think you'll be OK now?" Neptune asked. "We oughta be getting back before Histy starts complaining again..."
"I-I think I'll be fine," Peach nodded, before hearing a ring tone. "I think that's yours, Neptuna..."
Neptune quickly pulled out her phone, checking the caller ID before answering. "Heya Vert, what's up?"
"Are you still at Peach's place?" Vert asked.
"Yeah, P-ko and I were just gettin' ready to head back. What's up?"
"I need your help with something... Affimojas' ship was just hijacked by Ho-Hum, and they're heading south. While I'd like to handle this on my own, someone needs to keep an eye on Asseylum's group just in case..."
"Well, that's not good. Okay, give us, like, five minutes before Haruhi comes to warp us over here..."
"Very well, I will see you soon. Good bye, Neptune." Vert then hung up.
"What's going on?" Peach asked, Neptune giving her the news. "Oh... do you think Adrian is with them?"
"He could be. I mean, that Affimojas is a known Vert pervert, so he'd probably chomp at the bit to teach him a lesson..."
"Don't worry, Big Sis!" little Peashy spoke up. "If Mr. Adrian's there, we'll make sure he knows that he got tricked by Mom-Us! Even if we gotta beat him up!"
"W-well, try not to beat him up too much, okay? That should be up to me, anyway," Peach pointed out.
"Yeah, well, from what I remember about him, I think he'll be willing to talk to us first..." Neptune mused.
*Soon, at the foot of Mt. Ebott...*
Haruhi appeared with Neptune and Peashy in a flash of light, beholding the massive mountain before them. "Well, this is probably as close as I can get you without catching the bad guys' attention. So, good luck!"
"Thanks, we're probably gonna need it," Neptune sighed, Haruhi promptly warping away. "Ready to do some climbing, P-ko?"
"But Neptuna, can't we just follow the road instead?" Peashy pointed to the asphalt road that wound its way up.
"For a little bit, but it probably doesn't go all the way up," Neptune pointed out. "But yeah, it'd be way easier to start out... Alright, let's go!"
(Music- 'Arid Canyon Zone, Act 1'- Sonic Robo Blast 2 v.2.2)
And so the duo began jogging up the road, staying to the right so oncoming cars had less chance to run them down, just in case. "Neptuna, what's that sign say? Beware something...?"
"Beware of coyotes," Neptune said. "There's probably not much to eat up here, so we gotta be careful they don't take a bite of us!"
"I'll beat 'em up before they eat me!" Peashy proclaimed. "Pow! Bam! Whack!"
"Well, it's gonna be a long climb, so don't tire yourself out," Neptune told her.
"So why don't we just transform and fly up?" Peashy then asked.
"Cause that's what the bad guys are expecting us to do, and we'll probably get shot down in flames," Neptune explained. "We wanna try and catch 'em off guard, okay?"
"OK!" Peashy agreed, the two continuing on their way...
*A few minutes later...*
"Ugh, Pea's thirsty!" Peashy complained as they continued up the road.
"Yeah, well, I kinda doubt there's any water stations up here..." Neptune lamented as the two rounded a curve... only to see a stand saying 'Free Water!' with a full glass sitting on top! "Whoops, looks like I tripped an event flag!"
"Yay! Water!" Peashy cheered running up to the stand-
"Stop, P-ko!" Neptune cried, Peashy promptly screeching to a halt. "This could be a trap by the bad guys, ya know!"
"But I'm thirsty!" Peashy whined.
"Just let me check it first, OK?" Peashy nodded and backed off while Neptune looked the stand over... "Ah-ha! See, this glass of water is attached to a string! So when you lift up the glass... KA-BOOM!" Peashy briefly jumped in the air at that. "But don't worry, Nep knows what to do!" Summoning her katana, Neptune proceeded to lift up the glass just a tiny bit, enough to slide the blade underneath... then with a little sawing, she cut through the trip string and freed the glass! "There! Here ya go, P-ko!"
"Yay! You're the best, Neptuna!" Peashy cheered as she took the glass, and gulped down half the water. "Um... you want the rest?"
"Why thank you, P-ko!" Neptune nodded, downing the rest of the water. Tossing the glass aside, she stated, "Okay, let's go!" The duo promptly proceeded on their way... Unknown to them, though, a creature with yellow eyes was observing them...
"Very clever. Clearly smarter than the average roadrunner... Well, let's try a more direct approach." With that, he put two fingers to his mouth and whistled...
"Did you hear that, Neptuna?" Peashy looked around in confusion.
"Sounded like someone whistling..." Just then, several barks were heard in the distance. "And those sound like coyotes! Get ready, P-ko!" Sure enough, a pack of brown-furred coyotes came into view with dinner on their minds! "Take this! And that!" the CPU cried as she started cutting down the canines with her sword. One leapt at Peashy, only to be hit with an uppercut to the snout, knocking it head over heels! Peashy then leapt and hit another coyote with a dropkick, sending it over the nearby railing and into the ravine below!
"Oh, I sympathize with you, my friend..." the creature from before lamented. Despite this, he began preparing to try and take advantage of the situation...
Eventually, the coyotes realized they were outmatched, turning tail and fleeing back up the road. "Yeah! You can't eat us, coyotes!" Peashy taunted after them.
But then, something caught the corner of Neptune's eye... "Look out, P-ko!" she screamed, tackling Peashy aside- -just as an anvil crashed into the pavement where Peashy had just been standing! "Yow, too close!"
"Look, Neptuna! It's another coyote!" Peashy pointed upward. However, unlike the previous coyotes, this one stood on his hind feet, his yellow eyes glimmering with intelligence. "Why'd you try to squish Pea?!"
"He seems a bit more wily than the previous bunch," Neptune mused.
"Indeed, I am a genius, especially compared to my brethren that you just dispatched," the bipedal coyote spoke.
"Ah! He talked, Neptuna!" Peashy gasped in surprise.
"So, I'm guessing that rigged water stand was your doing?!" Neptune accused as they stood up.
"Indeed it was," the coyote admitted. "But there's more than one way to skin a cat... or human, in this case. Not that I have a taste for humans, but in this arid climate, beggars can't exactly be choosers, if you take my meaning. So, I'll give you the customary two minutes to say your prayers..."
"Eh, no," Neptune declined. "Let's run, P-ko!"
"Okay, Neptuna! Bye-bye, talking coyote!" Peashy said as they took off.
The coyote could only sigh and shrug. "Why do they always want to do it the hard way?" he lamented, jumping down the cliff and giving chase!
"He's after us!" Peashy realized.
"Don't stop! Keep running!" Neptune ordered, the coyote hot on their heels! Rounding another curve, they came upon a fork in the road... "Take the left path!" So they did, eventually coming upon what appeared to be a tunnel going through the mountain... "Uh-oh... P-ko, jump to the side... NOW!" Peashy promptly leapt to the right, while Neptune jumped and rolled to the left, the pursuing coyote going between them-
-and smashing into the rock wall, the 'tunnel' revealed to be just a painting on said wall! "Wow! How'd you know the tunnel was fake?" Peashy asked in awe.
"Depth perception. An essential tool for navigating a 3D game world like ours," Neptune explained. "C'mon, let's go back and go up the other fork before he wakes up!"
"OK!" Peashy nodded, the duo promptly taking off as the coyote peeled off the wall and fell flat on his back...
*A short while later...*
"Do ya think that talking coyote will try to eat us again?" Peashy asked as they continued up the road.
"Maybe... he doesn't seem like the type to give up easy..." Neptune mused... then her ears pricked up as she heard a motor revving! "Car's coming! Get to the other side!" The two girls ran to the other side of the road, a red hot rod zooming by a minute later! "Yikes! Watch it, buster!"
But then there was the sound of screeching tires, the car backing into view a minute later... "OH MY GOSH! ARE YOU OKAY?!" the driver cried in distress, revealed to be a skeleton wearing some cheap white super hero costume with a small cape. "I DIDN'T HIT YOU, DID I?!"
"No, we're fine," Neptune sighed, dusting herself off.
"Hey, you're a talking skeleton!" Peashy realized. "Are you gonna try and eat us like that talking coyote?!"
"WHAT?! OF COURSE NOT!" the skeleton replied, insulted. "ONE, I DON'T EVEN HAVE A STOMACH, AND TWO, I WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH HUMANS! I'VE ALREADY MADE QUITE A FEW INTERNET FRIENDS ON THAT 'NEPBOOK' APP!"
"Nepbook? ...waaaaait a minute," Neptune racked her brain, "You wouldn't happen to be that 'Papyrus' guy with the smiling skull icon, and always typing in ALL CAPS?"
"THAT'S ME! THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AT YOUR SERVICE!" the skeleton exclaimed. "MY GREATNESS PRECEDES ME!"
"Do you always have to shout, Mr. Paper-Us?!" Peashy complained, covering her ears.
"I'M NOT SHOUTING, I'M SPEAKING IN ALL CAPS! THERE'S A DIFFERENCE, YOU KNOW," Papyrus argued. "HEY, WHY ARE YOU TWO WALKING ON THIS ROAD, ANYWAY? DON'T YOU HAVE A CAR?"
"Nope. Never saw a need to get a license," Neptune deadpanned. "But, you see, we gotta get to the top of the mountain so we can board the airship that got hijacked by bad guys..."
"BAD GUYS HIJACKED YOUR AIRSHIP?! THAT'S TERRIBLE!" Papyrus cried in dismay. "BUT, NEVER FEAR! THE GREAT PAPYRUS CAN TAKE YOU UP THERE IN MY CAR! WELL, AS FAR AS THE ROAD GOES, ANYWAY..."
"Really?! YAY!" Peashy cheered.
"Well, I guess we shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth," Neptune said with a shrug, getting into the shotgun seat while Peashy climbed into the back.
"MAKE SURE YOUR SEATBELTS ARE FASTENED! SAFETY FIRST, YOU KNOW!" Papyrus advised. Once the two CPUs had buckled in, he declared, "ALRIGHT, OFF WE GO!" He drove the car down to the fork, using the space to turn around before zooming back up the road! But then, another vehicle suddenly pulled up behind them...
"Neptuna! The coyote's back!" Peashy cried. Sure enough, the coyote was riding some sort of rocket-powered race car, with a hungry smile on his face!
"OH, THAT STUPID COYOTE!" Papyrus complained. "HOLD ON, I'M GUNNING THE ENGINE!" He promptly floored it, the goddesses screaming as they accelerated rapidly! "DON'T WORRY, I KNOW THESE ROADS LIKE THE BACK OF MY HAND!"
"You won't escape my dinner plate so easily!" the coyote shouted as he upped the thrust on his rocket engine!
"He's catching up! He's gonna eat us!" Peashy cried in panic.
"NOT ON MY WATCH!" Papyrus vowed, making a hard turn around a sharp curve, some paint scraping off on the railing! The coyote tried to follow, only for his steering wheel to abruptly break off, causing him to smash right through the railing!
"Oh, no..." the coyote sighed, promptly falling into the ravine with a high-pitched whistling sound, race car and all, eventually hitting the river far below with a splash.
"Ah-hahahaha! Stupid coyote fell all the way down!" Peashy laughed in mirth and relief.
"Guess we don't have to worry about him anymore," Neptune sighed in relief herself.
"SEE? YOU SHOULD HAVE MORE FAITH IN THE GREAT PAPYRUS!" Papyrus chuckled in triumph, even as he eased up on the gas. "OKAY, ONWARD WE GO, TO THE END OF THE ROAD!"
"Yay!" Peashy cheered as they drove off...
*Elsewhere...*
"heh heh heh..." a small, pudgy skeleton wearing a blue jacket and baggy pants, chortled as he tossed a few screws in one hand, a screwdriver sticking out of his coat pocket. "i just love watching that so-called genius coyote take a fall. my brother should be able to handle things from here..." With that, he lay down and rested his head on a boulder, taking a nap...
*To be continued...*