Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation
A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction
by Derald Snyder
Chapter 45- The Summit
Papyrus' car came to a stop by a sign marked 'SUMMIT TRAIL'. "HERE WE ARE!" he announced, "THE END OF THE ROAD! YOU'LL HAVE TO CLIMB UP FROM HERE..."
"Thanks a lot, Mr. Paper-Us!" Peashy said as she and Neptune unbuckled and got out.
"ANYTIME!" Papyrus chuckled, before something suddenly occurred to him. "OH, BUT JUST SO YOU KNOW, MY FRIEND UNDYNE IS TRAINING UP THERE TODAY! SHE MIGHT CHALLENGE YOU TO A FIGHT, SO WATCH OUT!"
"Great. Another boss fight," Neptune groaned. "Well, can't be helped, I guess... c'mon, P-ko."
"OK!" Peashy agreed, the two making their way up the trail...
*A few minutes later...*
"Ugh, feels hard for Pea to breathe!" Peashy grunted as they continued their climb.
"Yeah, the air gets thin when you climb really high up," Neptune grunted. "Just have to pace yourself..." Just then, she heard faint punching and kicking sounds. "Uh-oh, I think that Undyne's not too far ahead... P-ko, try to stay quiet," she lowered her voice. "Maybe if we're lucky, we can sneak past her..."
"Okay," Peashy whispered back. The two slowly crept further up the trail, until a monster came into view... she appeared to be a navy blue-skinned fish monster with a hominid body structure, with wild red hair done up in a ponytail, and an eyepatch over her right eye, dressed in a black tank top and grey shorts. Currently said monster was facing a training dummy that resembled an orange hairy monster with googly eyes stuck near the top.
"You want some, Mr. Hairy?!" the monster who could be none other than Undyne snarled at her 'opponent'. "How about this?!" she laid into the dummy with rapid fire fistcuffs, then a kick to the 'groin'. "Still standing?! We can can fix that!" Holding out her hand, she materialized a spear made of water, before rushing the dummy and and slashing upward, ripping it in two and sending faux hair flying everywhere! "That's what you get for messing with Undyne! Oh-ho-ho-ho!"
("Yikes, talk about hardcore,") Neptune whispered. ("Let's see if we can find another way up to the top...")
("Okay, Neptuna,") Peashy whispered back... but then some of the dummy's hair floated into her face! "Ah, ahhh..."
("P-ko, NO!")
"Hah-CHOO!" Peashy's sneeze echoed over the mountain air.
(Music- 'Spear of Justice', Undertale)
"Who's there?!" Undyne turned toward the sound, holding her spear at the ready. "AH-HA! I see you! Unless that rock's suddenly grown some purple hair, which I doubt!"
"Crappers...!" Neptune groaned as she and Peashy came out of hiding, hands raised.
"Huh? Humans?! Just what are YOU doing all the way up here?!" Undyne growled.
"We don't got a quarrel with you!" Neptune babbled. "We're just tryin' to get to the top of the mountain!"
"Yeah, so we can get on that airship that the bad guys stole, Miss Undyne!" Peashy added.
"...Wait a minute... HOW did you know my name?!" Undyne demanded.
"Mr. Paper-Us told us!" Peashy answered. "He drove us all the way up here! Right, Neptuna?"
"Papyrus did?" Undyne gave an aside glance, the grip on her spear loosening up slightly. "Tch, that guy's way too nice for his own good... but, I hate humans! ...with one or two exceptions, but still! You think you can just walk right past me?! That's not how these things work! I've read all your human history! The only way this ends is in a fight! Fuhuhuhuhu!"
"Neptuna, can't we just transform and fly away?" Peashy asked.
"Transform?!" Undyne grunted. "What, are you some kind of magical girls or something?! You gonna try to turn me to dust with giant hearts or something?! That won't work on the likes of me!"
"Uh, no," Neptune sweat-dropped. "Actually, P-ko and I are goddesses..."
"GODDESSES?! Gahhahahaha!" Undyne laughed. "What a crock! If you were goddesses then you could just smite me with lightning from heaven, couldn't you?!"
A light bulb suddenly went off in Neptune's head. "Lightning?! Nah, I smite blasphemers with something more practical! Access!" A pillar of light engulfed her as she transformed to HDD, before intoning, "32-bit Mega Blade!"
A large sword flew down from the sky, just barely missing Undyne as it embedded in the rock! "HOLY CRAP!" Undyne screamed in shock, looking at Purple Heart with a wide eye! "You... you really are a goddess! Th-that means...OH MY GOD! ANIME IS REAL! JUST WAIT UNTIL ALPHYS HEARS ABOUT THIS!"
"Hears about what? W-what are you shouting about this time, Undyne?" Another female voice spoke up, a yellow-skinned monster with a cartoony triceratops head, glasses and a lab coat walking into view. "Oh my god- er, goddess! Are you the CPU goddess Purple Heart?!"
"You know her?!" Undyne turned to the new arrival incredulously.
"I've read all about her on the Internet- er, Inter-nep! Oh, I'm Dr. Alphys, by the way!" she introduced herself. "Undyne wasn't giving you any trouble, was she?"
"...I am willing to forgive her transgressions, due to ignorance on her part," Purple Heart stated.
"But only if she says sorry!" Peashy jumped in.
"Oh, dear," Alphys sighed. "Undyne, hurry up and apologize! Do you want to be struck down?!"
"Argh!" Undyne grimaced, before reluctantly bowing from the waist. "Okay, I'm very sorry I blasphemed against a goddess, and will never do it again!"
"Apology accepted," Purple Heart nodded with a smile. "Well, now that the formalities have been dispensed with..." Another flash of light as she reverted to normal. "Phew, that's better! Sorry, but transforming takes a lot of energy, so I usually go around in this form! You can just call me Neptune, by the way. And this is Peashy, my... adopted daughter, I guess you could say."
"That's right! Pea knows Neptuna since Pea was a baby!" Peashy said with a grin. "And Pea loves Neptuna lots!"
"Oh, that's so sweet!" Alphys smiled. "But, um... Lady Neptune, was it? Might I ask why you're here? I thought your domain was on the western part of the northern continent..."
"Heyyy, that's right!" Undyne's expression turned suspicious again. "What's a goddess doing out of her domain? And dragging such a tiny kid along no less!"
"Pea's not just a tiny kid! Pea can transform, too!" Peashy protested, transforming to HDD herself to prove her point.
"What the hell...?!" Undyne's eye bugged out at seeing Yellow Heart's very ample bosom. "...Please tell me this isn't one of those H-animes!"
"No, no, no hardcore lewd stuff, I promise," Neptune sighed. "P-ko's this way because some bad guys modified her body when they kidnapped her awhile back... I was forced to fight her, several times, even! Thank goodness we figured out how break the brainwashing..."
"Oh, I get it," Undyne heaved a sigh of relief. "Brainwash the tagalong kid and give her an evil, sexy transformation... I've seen that trope before!"
"Yellow's not evil!" Yellow Heart protested. "I'm one of the good guys!"
"Of course you are," Alphys quickly spoke up. "We're just saying, your transformation's a bit... distracting, so maybe you could go back to normal now, please?"
"You heard the dinosaur, P-ko," Neptune affirmed. "We gotta save our HDD for the real bad guys, anyway..."
"Aw... okay," Peashy sighed as she reverted.
"Anyway, we're here in Leanbox because Vert's- er, Green Heart's bodyguard was goin' through some rough times, so P-ko and I were trying to comfort her, and then blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda..." Neptune explained.
"What is she saying?!" Undyne grunted in confusion.
"Oh, this happens when they're trying to speed up exposition," Alphys realized. "It seems these CPUs, despite competing economically, are willing to help each other out personally, and even band together when a world-threatening crisis strikes! But these villains they're currently pursuing are convinced that the CPUs are getting too lazy to do their duties properly..."
"Is that so?! Hmph, they could've just asked me! I'd be more than willing to whip 'em back into shape!" Undyne exclaimed.
"Oh trust me, I've gotten plenty of exercise hiking up this trail," Neptune deadpanned. "Then again, maybe that was the point... oooh, those devious villains!"
"So, about that airship," Alphys began, "I tried sending a drone up there to check it out, but it was shot down by some sort of laser. I'm just glad Mettaton didn't see that, he'd have been mocking me relentlessly..."
"Not on my watch, he wouldn't!" Undyne asserted. "Okay, so you need to get up to that airship, huh? Okay then! I guess we'll take you to the summit and plan our next move there! There's a way simple enough that even nerds can climb it!"
"It's still a bit tiring, though..." Alphys sighed. "For me, anyway..."
"I told you you have to start building your wind, at least," Undyne sighed in a surprisingly considerate tone of voice. "Anyway, time's wasting! Let's get up there!"
*Soon, at the summit...*
"Fuhuhuhu! Top of the world!" Undyne called, her voice echoing all over.
"Phew, we made it," Alphys gasped, short of breath. "And there's that airship..." Indeed, the AffimaX airship was slowly flying in a circle about a half-mile above.
"So, if we try to just fly up, we'll get blasted by lasers..." Neptune mused.
"Actually, there was only one laser," Alphys stated, "and according to my observation, it didn't appear to be from a turret... more likely, somebody on deck has a laser rifle of some sort..."
"Generic Soldier #20. Gotta be," Neptune muttered.
"So Mr. Adrian IS up there!" Peashy exclaimed. "We gotta get up there so we can tell him he got tricked by Mom-Us!"
"So, a loyal soldier tricked into helping the villains... yep, seen that trope before, too," Undyne asserted. "Hey Alphys, got any more of those drones? Maybe you could fly one up as a distraction..."
"Um, not drones, but I do have a couple of rocket packs!" Alphys pointed to the equipment laying nearby. "Um, but I'm not sure I could aim it properly without it being strapped to someone..."
"All you gotta do is launch it straight up! How hard can that be?!" Undyne growled. "I didn't fall in love with you just because we both like anime, ya know!"
"Undyne! Not here...!" Alphys squeaked, blushing furiously, as she buried her face in her hands.
"Yeah, but given how experienced a soldier Adrian is, that might not be enough..." Neptune closed her eyes in thought... then an idea came to her. "Hey Undyne, you think you're strong enough to throw something up to that airship...?"
"Am I strong enough...?!" Undyne grinned in anticipation.
*AffirmaX Airship, Outer Deck*
Generic Soldier #20 looked out over the railing seeing a few objects moving on the Mt. Ebott summit, one with a familiar purple color... "Looks like Lady Neptune's here," he muttered to himself, subconsciously checking his laser rifle- the same one that had been stolen from Uni's vault way back. "Well, let's see how you deal with my sharpshooting skills..." Just then he saw something launch from the summit, twin trails of smoke emitting from the bottom... "A jetpack? Not good enough!" He took aim and fired, the laser easily blowing the rocket pack to smithereens!
"...wheeeeeeee...!"
"Huh...?" Adrian looked up, seeing a yellow object flying in his direction-
BAM! The armored soldier was nailed dead-on by the object, getting thrown into the wall as a result! "Ahhahahaha! I got you, Mr. Adrian!"
"Wha... Citrus?!" Soldier #20 grunted as he sat back up, Peashy sliding down into his lap. "What are you doing here...?"
*To be continued...*