Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Chapter 50- Chastisements

*LASA HQ*

"Look!" Mikuru pointed to the sky. "Is that an airship approaching?"

"My ship! My baby!" Affimojas cried in joy. "Oh thank the goddesses, literally in this case! I don't want to think about how much money I would have needed to replace that...!"

"Didn't they ever tell you that love of money is the root of all evil-tcha?" Urusei Yatsura shook her head.

"Well, I was a villain once," Affimojas pointed out. "I'm trying to stay on the straight and narrow these days, however..."

"So where'd your ninja partner run off to?" Haruhi inquired.

"Oh, I didn't even realize that he left!" Asseylum said, looking around a bit.

"Well, he IS a ninja," Kyon deadpanned. "Vanishing without a trace is what they do..."

"Actually, he whispered to me that he had to get back to Lastation," Affimojas stated. "Wasn't much else he could do for me, so I let him go..."

"Doesn't he have a girlfriend over there or something?" Haruhi asked.

"Uni, the CPU Candidate, actually," Affimojas nodded in response. "She's the only one who can pick him out when he's hiding..."

"No surprise, seeing as she's a trained sniper," G Gundam nodded. "Anyway, let's get to the landing site..."

So the group made their way over to the runway, watching as the airship set down, a ramp extending from the entrance, Neptune, Peashy, Vert, and Adrian emerging, the latter having shed his armor. Neptune was carrying Uni's laser rifle, while Adrian had a camera in his hands. "Oh, Lady Vert, words cannot express my immense gratitude for what you have done!" Affimojas praised as he approached them... "Oh, and Lady Neptune as well..."

"Yeah, well, P-ko and I did most of the work," Neptune sighed. "Though Vert did bail us out of a bad situation..."

"A true heroine always arrives in the nick of time," Vert stated smugly. "Oh, by the way, Affimojas, I wanted to ask you about this..." she gestured to the camera Adrian was holding.

"I-it's just a camera, Lady Vert," Affimojas' voice wavered slightly. "Nothing wrong with that, is there...?"

"It is when it's a long-range camera designed to take clear shots from long distances," Adrian spoke up. "And I know I saw you pointing this camera at Lady Vert's room in the Basilicom..."

"Wh-what?!" Affimojas jerked back in shock, before something occurred to him. "Wait a minute, that means you're the black-armored soldier to hijacked my ship to begin with! Lady Vert, why is he not under arrest?!"

"Who says he isn't?" Vert replied dispassionately. "However, he's agreed to cooperate fully with us, and I understand his motivation for why he did what he did. After all, what if you had inadvertently snapped a shot of my bodyguard instead? ...who happens to be this man's fiancee." A low piano chord sounded as Affimojas went white with shock.

"Fiancee?!" Mikuru gasped. "But, why would be turn traitor then?!"

"Perhaps he believed his goddess was getting too lazy for his liking," Neon pointed out. "Remember the House of Humiliation's stated objective..."

"Right, to keep the CPUs from getting too complacent," G Gundam nodded.

"So, does anyone have a hammer or something?" Adrian asked.

"I do!" Urusei responded, pulling out a large wooden mallet from seemingly nowhere.

"NO! You can't! Please, I'm begging you!" Affimojas cried in panic.

"Trust me, you're getting off easy," Vert said with no sympathy, standing between the robot and Adrian as he set the camera on the ground...

"First, to get in the proper mood," Urusei muttered to herself, before suddenly screaming, "DARLING NO BAKA!", swinging the mallet down on the camera again and again! "Take that-tcha! And that! And that! That's what you get for being a pervert-tcha!" By the time she was finished, said camera was a small pile of broken metal, plastic and glass.

"Wow, I'd hate to be her darling," Neptune snarked.

"Noooo!" Affimojas fell to his knees in despair, his hands clenching in front of his face. "What a waste of money...!"

"Just be glad no one told me to use this hammer on you-tcha!" Urusei chastised as she put said hammer away. "And for the record, Lady Neptune, Darling was only like that in his high school years, when I first met him-tcha..."

"I'll bet he learned better fast," John Smith deadpanned.

"Right, so if you'll excuse me, I'll be taking Generic Soldier #20 into custody now," Vert stated, gently gripping Adrian by the bicep and escorting him off...

"Yeah, we need to get back home ourselves, before Histy gets Pissty," Neptune added. "C'mon, P-ko."

"OK! Bye-bye, aliens!" Peashy waved, she and Neptune promptly transforming and flying off.

"Well, how about we head back to Lastation?" Haruhi suggested. "Maybe those people won't be so xenophobic after meeting Princess Asseylum for themselves... Is that okay, Kyon?"

"I've got no problem with that," John Smith shrugged. "Just as long as I can call my parents when we get there, so they don't have to worry..."

"What's this? The great Ma'nabatea, asking permission from a lowly human?" Urusei teased. "My, I wonder if there's something else going on beneath the surface-tcha..."

"Shut it, Urusei, or you're getting another penalty!" Haruhi shot back, blushing slightly. "I was just wondering if he wanted to go back home to Lowee yet, that's all! Don't read anything into it!"

"I've never seen milady show any romantic interest in an ordinary boy like John Smith," Neon appended. "Of course, there is a first time for everything..." She then cried out in shock as green slime poured over her head from nowhere! "Ptooey! Lady Haruhi, you took that the wrong way!"

"You'll get worse if you bring it up again," Haruhi warned. "Anyway, what does everyone else think?" Getting several answers in the affirmative, she nodded. "Okay, off to Lastation, then!" But then, she saw a large object flying at her, crying out in surprise as she caught the laser rifle in her arms!

"Apologies, but if you're going to Lastation, you should give that back to Uni," Purple Heart called from a distance. "Anyway, farewell!" she said before flying off again.

"Ugh... here, G, you hold onto this," Haruhi sighed, handing the rifle off to G Gundam. "Anyway, off we go!" With that, the group vanished in a flash of light...

*A short time later, at Peach's apartment...*

"Adrian almost died?!" Peach gasped after hearing Vert's recounting of what had transpired.

"Indeed, but thanks to help from some monsters Neptune befriended, he survived," Vert nodded. "After driving off Bastemon, he contacted us and agreed to surrender and cooperate with us... after all, he did this for my sake, and yours."

"Right..." Peach looked down, biting her lip. "So, where's Adrian now?"

As if on cue, the door opened, Adrian himself walking in, looking contrite. "Hi, Peach..."

Peach got up from the couch, walking up to her fiancee and staring him in the eye... she then heaved a sigh, before slapping him across the face!

"...Ow. Yeah, okay, I deserved that," Adrian grunted, a red welt forming on his cheek.

"Just be thankful Lady Vert vouched for you, or you would have gotten a lot worse," Peach growled. Gently gripping her fiancee's chin, she looked him in the eye again... "Let me put it this way... the wedding's not off, but it IS being pushed back a ways, got it?!"

"Yes, sergeant," Adrian said in reply, taking a step back after Peach released him. "And I promise to never pull a stunt like that again..."

"You better not," Peach nodded curtly. "I think we're done here."

"We'll be going then," Vert nodded, standing and escorting Adrian out... "Thank you for not losing your temper..."

"If I did, I'd be worse than Mom," Peach acknowledged. "At least she had a good reason for hating Dad..."

*Ho-Hum W-2 Base*

"Generic Soldier #20 to base! Come in!" Adrian's voice called.

"We copy," MAGES. answered. "I assume things went wrong, seeing as BlackGatomon's power-suppressing collar is no longer transmitting..." So Adrian explained what had happened...

"Soldier #20, are you all right?" Overlord Momus asked after Adrian finished.

"I'm fine, sir, but..." Adrian hesitated. "I'm sorry, but I was left with no choice but to surrender to Lady Vert and Neptune... they allowed me to make this call to you as a courtesy... better prepare for them to come knocking on your door in a few days."

"Shit! He ratted us out?!" Linda cried in disbelief.

"Copy that, Adrian," Momus sighed. "Thanks for the heads-up. We'll make our preparations A-SAP..."

"Alright. Sorry about this... Soldier #20 out," Adrian said, before cutting the connection.

"Crap! The CPUs are coming here-chu?! We just barely got settled in!" Warechu panicked.

"Calm down, I anticipated this would happen sooner or later," Momus stated. "We will make our stand here. Even if the CPUs prevail in the end, we won't go down without a fight!"

"I agree!" Dogoo Man nodded.

"B-but I don't know anything about how t-to fight...!" Tenten squeaked.

"We have no choice, Thief #11. With BlackGatomon's betrayal, our options are severely reduced. That being said..." Momus turned away. "I do have an idea of how to bolster our defenses... I need to make a phone call, excuse me." With that, he retreated to his inner chamber...

*To be continued...*