28
"You did what?"
Ianto rounded the corner, so enraged that he had left the kids on the transport… yes… so angry he actually forget about the baby… Ianto. Forgot a baby. Get it? Like… evaporation of the air around him sort of angry… waves of heat angry. He saw Walter gaping at Skidmark like he was speaking a foreign language.
"Let me get this straight" Walter said slowly, a finger pointed at Skidmark for emphasis "You gave HARLEY a functional chainsaw that was turned on and told him to go for it!"
"Look, you make it sound like I gave it to a baboon…. Monkey is more than capable of cutting down a tree…" Skidmark began, only to squeak as Ianto finally reached out and grabbed his collar, then started to shake him.
"Tad! I got this!" Walter said calmly and Ianto released the twit.
"Skidmark. Remember when we got the new paint ball gear for the course last year?"
"Yeah" Skidmark's face shone as his favorite place was mentioned.
"And the only casualty in the entire time we've had the assault course?" Walter asked.
"Yeah… yeah but he took his helmet off. Come on… no face shield, of course it went in his eye!" Skidmark said with a snort.
"In the Green Zone where guns are not allowed to be armed… yeah… he removed his shielding as they were finished. Game over. Jeffers was done. Guess who lost… guess who fired a gun anyway and who was punished severely for firing into someone's face and STILL is banned from hate assault course?"
Skidmark stared at him then opened his mouth to try another argument.
"And… and let's remember the fiasco with the bulldozer. You know… the bulldozer left idling while Dozer went for a quick slash in the bushes, returning to find it gone and a HUGE fucking swathe cut though the footy pitch? Who stole the dozer? Hmmm?"
"He was just a kid then, he's fourteen now… on his way to…"
"Skidmark. That was six months ago man."
Skidmark closed his mouth, wisely taking the vow of silence now he saw that they were going to play dirty… by telling the truth. Walter sighed and turned to his Tad "So… how bad is it?"
"Totaled. Your father is beside himself, liked that one."
"Totaled… what… Tad what is totaled?"
Ah. Skidmark had not told him everything and as he took a nervous step back from the father and son, Ianto laid out the events including the extra trees. Walter went still, and then slapped Skidmark hard across the face before starting to ream him out with colourful language. It was when he said 'just a baby' that Ianto remembered something.
"Oh my god! Shay!" Ianto rushed back to find the baby still asleep and a proud Hawk seeing off any would be attackers with his Taddy's walking stick.
Walter had this.