A/N:
Hello there! This is the fic I wrote for the Secret Santa of 2021. Honestly, still I can't believe that I took part. It was my first time being part of a fics event in the fandom and I hesitated to do it, but here it is!
One thing I can say now is that the song that inspired me the fic title is the version by Lady Gaga & Tony Bennett (I really love Gaga), and if you haven't listen that version yet, I think you should do it!
If you read them for the first time on my profile, or if someone does a re-read (I don't know how likely this is haha), I would love to know what you think
Donna is a woman of traditions. She respects all of them, and with a dedication that, even after so many years, continues to amaze Harvey. He had indeed seen her decorate the office for every holiday, but he must admit that since they got married, it's something else.
Donna decorates her house for every holiday, and not just decorates "because it has to be done." She does and enjoys it, every year seeks to change things, add new ornaments, and even tries to do DIY that she sees on the internet. (This last thing, without any success, but the redhead is so stubborn). And of course, this Christmas won't be different. It's the third Christmas they spend married and Harvey begins to understand that this will be this way every single year.
The problem is that Harvey is the opposite, and even if it's true that since he reconciled with his family he doesn't spend any more Christmas alone in his condo drinking scotch, and then as a married man he added Donna and her family to the holidays... It's not that Harvey thinks this is the most exciting moment of the year. But still, he tries to support her enthusiasm, because he loves to see her happy.
So, they went looking for the Christmas tree on the day that Donna had indicated, without excuses or pretexts (not even the snow that stalked the city that day).
Harvey is upset because he doesn't like to drive when it's snowing and because Donna spent more than 2 hours looking for the tree of her dreams (or at least that's how she named it), while all he wanted was to feel his fingers again, now numb, and not feel his cheeks burning from the cold. It's the perfect day to be curled up with his wife on the couch, wrap her with a blanket and hug her against his body, not for be shivering in the middle of the snow, choosing the stupid Christmas tree with the right amount of branches.
Finally, Harvey enters the car and turns on the heating. He feels Donna's hand pressing on his thigh gently and turns his head to look at her. "Thank you for your patience." She tells him sweetly. "I know it's not your favorite plan."
With those words from his wife, his anger is put aside. He smiles and puts his hand above her, both wearing gloves. "It's true it's not, but I love your enthusiasm."
She chuckles, ashamed. "Sorry, sometimes I'm like a kid."
"I like that about you, even though now I'm afraid that I will never stop feeling cold."
Donna chuckles."I'm sorry." She murmurs and kisses him on the cheek.
"You know your nose is frozen, right?" He asks, feeling her nose like ice under his eye.
She snorts, annoyed, and moves away from him, letting drop her back against the back of her seat, and puts on the seat belt. "Ok, I'm sorry." She crosses her arms and sighs deeply. "Start driving and please leave me in the Christmas store on the way. You can go home to receive the tree when it arrives."
"Donna..." He looks at her, confused. "Are you angry? I just say you have your nose cold."
"You don't enjoy this. I can do it by myself."
"Sorry, I didn't mean that."
"I know you, Harvey, your face gives you away. Just leave me in the store, please."
"And how will you come back?"
"I have two feet, right?" She responds without even looking at him.
"I don't understand why you get angry."
"Leave it, Harvey."
"I want to understand."
"I don't want to talk now. Can you drive please?"
He nods to his wife. "Ok, I can do it."
He starts driving carefully as she looks straight ahead, completely silent and Harvey feels lost with what is happening. The redhead bites the inside of her cheek and squeezes her hands, making a great effort to hold back her tears, she has no strength to turn her head, look at him and explain that.
Harvey made just one comment, but this comment filled her with pain in a second… She can't control it and that makes her feel drowned, helpless for what she feels, and for not having enough strength to be able to express it.
Throughout the trip, the air remains somewhat tense between them. He has tried to find her gaze at traffic lights but has been unsuccessful. When he stops the car, she is already unbuttoning her belt and he rests his hand on hers.
"Donna... Are you okay?" He asks, his eyes full of concern.
"Yes, I need to do this."
"Can I go with you?"
"They said they were delivering the tree right away."
"But something is wrong, you can't deny it."
She lets go of his hand. "Thank you for leaving me here." She wants to open the car door, but Harvey stops her down by carefully taking her by her cheek. He moves his thumb and Donna chuckles against her will, the glove wool tickles her. She puts her hand on his and closes her eyes, gently tilting her head on her husband's hand.
"Do you really want to go alone?"
"Yes, go wait for the tree." She responds, opening her eyes again.
"Okay." He replies by putting his other hand on her other cheek and then gives her a sweet kiss on her lips. "Let me know when you finish, if the tree has already arrived, I can come for you." She nods, without much conviction. He gives her one last kiss and she gets out of the car.
. . ✧ . .
A few hours later, he hears the sound of keys in the lock and looks up from his phone, where he was reading a New York Times article, and is alarmed when sees her there: a lot of bags on her hands, her clothes visibly damp, her face paler than usual, her lips purple, and her nose red. Donna only pushes her feet with almost imperceptible movements into the house, her body is shivering, and she doesn't feel her limbs. Before a second passes, he is walking toward her and when he reaches her, he puts his palm between her shoulder blades, helping her to enter, and closes the front door immediately, trying to keep the cold out. He removes the bags from her hands to leave them on the ground and grabs her carefully by her arms. "Tell me something, please," He whispers at the sight of his wife's desperate gaze.
"I'm an idiot," She murmurs, her lips shaking. "And I'm freezing." Her hazel eyes are about to overflow with tears.
"You're not an idiot…" He says, rubbing her arms. "But, then we'll talk. First, you need to heat up." He indicates by taking off her soaked wool hat. "And we'll start by taking you off these damp clothes. Okay?" She nods with her wet eyes. "It's okay, you're here now," He adds, seeing her on the verge of tears. "You will be fine." He murmurs and gives one kiss on her icy forehead. He continues to take off her coat and help her with her boots. When Donna wants to take off her gloves, her hands are shaking and he carefully helps her. "Do you want to take a hot shower? I'll get you some dry clothes, make tea and add firewood to the fireplace. I'll wait for you with a blanket too."
She nods but has no strength to go to the bathroom, so just approaches Harvey and makes herself a bun against him. He wraps her in a second, holding her against him. Within seconds, she is sobbing like a child and trembling in Harvey's arms.
"It's the first Christmas without my dad and I hadn't noticed until you mentioned my cold nose. And I know this is silly, because I already spent the first day of Thanksgiving without him, but we were with your family, and I think that made me feel less his absence… This time we will be with my family and he won't be there... and sometimes my mind represses it… And when reality hits me, I can't control it, I walked alone in the snow for I don't know how long, just because I couldn't put it in words and come back… and now I'm freezing." She sobs. "Sorry, I shouldn't have treated you like that."
"You are already here," He mutters against his icy hair and rubs her back with his palm. "I got you." She nods weakly and feels Harvey giving her a sweet kiss on her forehead. "And I have nothing to forgive you. I know it's a difficult thing because I've been through it. Please, go to have a shower, I'm worried you're so freezing. Then I can cuddle you, all the time you need. You have to take off these wet clothes and take some heat right away."
"I'll do it fast, I need to be with you."
"Come here," He hugs her by her shoulders and they walk together to the bathroom.
"Instead of tea, can you make hot chocolate?" She murmurs.
He chuckles sweetly. "Hot chocolate then." He gives her a short but heartfelt kiss on the lips and she enters the bathroom.
Donna takes off the rest of her clothes quickly and then just lets the hot water reach her skin while she can't help crying. It has been 10 months and many times she believes that she finally begins to be able to control the pain, but she realizes that it's still a daily struggle.
She still feels the cold sticking on her bones, her numb feet kicking the snow, her freezing fingers trying to hold the bags, her nose and cheeks burning from the cold, her lips shivering… She has had big crises and losses in her life but is sure that this has been the worst so far, and she is still surprised how her thoughts make her react unconsciously, how they make her lose control. She hates it because had never felt she was losing control of herself like now.
As the minutes go by, her mind begins to debate between staying there crying alone or running to her husband's arms, and she knows that the smartest decision is the second, she has already behaved like a child walking under the snow aimlessly and completely losing her regular body temperature. But still, she is not able to go out.
Her thoughts are in a spiral again when she hears that Harvey opens the bathroom door and leaves her clothes so that she can dress later. She sighs of relief because that simple action prevents her from falling back into a black hole.
"Thank you, Harvey." Donna sobs.
"You don't have to say thank you, you know that. Do you want me to come in with you or do you prefer to wait for you outside?"
"Now I'll go out, I want to get dressed. I still can't get rid of the cold. I will need that blanket... With a big hug."
"I will always have hugs for you," He responds. "I'll be waiting for you." He says and goes out.
Donna closes the water and wraps herself in her bathrobe, to quickly dry her hair, and then she dresses, still shivering, it isn't that it's cold there, but the sensation runs through her body yet. She comes out of the bathroom dragging her feet and sees him smiling softly at her, putting the chocolate bars in the mugs. Quickly, he takes a blanket that he had left on the couch and opens it, inviting her to wrap it there. She shortens the remaining distance and he cocoons her in the blanket and his arms.
"A little better?" He whispers, rubbing her body with his warm hands.
"Yes, but I still have the feeling of being cold." She snorts.
He kisses her crown sweetly. "Let's go near the fireplace."
She nods and after a few seconds, they are sitting on the carpet, in front of the fireplace with their cups of hot chocolate in their hands, she is still wrapped in the blanket, with her legs slightly flexed, holding the mug with both hands on her knees and with her feet under Harvey's leg. He is sitting with his legs stretched toward the fire, his cup is on the ground and his hand holds Donna's calf tenderly. They drink hot chocolate in silence, just listening to the sound of fire.
"Harvey, I know I reacted badly." The redhead breaks the silence after a few minutes, biting her cheek, with guilt. "I'm really sorry."
"I know you're sorry, I already told you that you don't need to apologize... I know it's hard, and the first year is the hardest, all "the first ones without him" will be difficult and will hurt..." He says, stroking her calf with his fingers. "I promise you that then it will be more tolerable."
"I hope so..." Donna sighs, her eyes flooded with tears again.
"You'll see..." He promises her with his gaze. "Still, it's true that you didn't react well, and I don't say that because of how you spoke to me... I say this because you had been walking for more than 2 hours with this snowfall."
"I know... I just, I couldn't go back, I don't know how to explain it." Her voice sounds choppy and she lowers her gaze to her chocolate. "It's horrible, it's like a heaviness in my chest that doesn't let me do what I want. I guess that heaviness is sadness." She pauses, with her lower lip shaking. "And I wanted to go back, and I wanted to answer your calls, but I couldn't Harvey. Sorry, I know that you worry and that…"
He denies with his head. "I often react the same, and I know it's not right…" He pauses. "Thank you for answering the message at least, up to that point I was losing my mind."
"I shouldn't have worried you like that. Thank you for not getting angry."
"I disappeared for 24 hours when my mum died and when I returned you just hugged me, without questions or any anger. It would be hypocritical to get angry."
"Either way, sorry. I've been bad to myself, I know it's dangerous with this cold and with this snow. I'm so sorry." She sobs. "It's just…" She sighs deeply, taking strength to be able to speak. "My dad was always the one who made Christmas specials, he taught me how to choose the best tree… I think that's why it took me so long today, I just wanted to find the tree that was perfect for him." She lets drop a tear, which Harvey doesn't drop beyond her cheek, and catches with his thumb. "And my mom always complained because he took too long." Donna chuckles, remembering it. "And I didn't realize until you told me about my nose… In winter my dad always used to tell me that I was Rudolff and that my red nose matched with my hair… and I used to be so angry when he told me that!" She pauses, lowering her gaze again. "And now I would give anything to listen to my dad telling me this once again." She sobs. He takes the mug from her hands and puts it aside, then cuddles his wife against the side of his body and wraps her, holding her against him. She hides her face in his chest, crying like a child. Her body burns from the cold, but also from the pain of the mourning that still burns her inside. She realizes she is shivering when feels Harvey's hands are firmer against her body, she just faintly surrounds him with her arms. "I miss him so much, Harvey." She drowns her words in her sob and he closes his eyes in pain upon hearing her.
"I know, honey, I know," He mutters against her forehead.
Donna cries in her husband's arms for several minutes, until she feels she has no more strength to be upright and puts a cushion on Harvey's lap to support her head there and make herself a bun on the ground. He arranges the blanket over her, with one hand he's holding himself with his body slightly pulled back, and his other hand is in contact with his wife, the tips of his fingers run down the skin of her neck slowly, they go up to her hair gently massaging her scalp, to go down the length of her hair, entangle its tips between his fingers and climb back up with the warmth of his hand by her arm, passing through her shoulder, he draws the features of her face and her freckles, watching as her muscles relax very slowly, draws also her eyebrows with his fingers, trying to remove the tension from there, he massages very gently between them and her jaw, lowering again by her neck, dragging his fingers against her skin and the route starts again.
And it's Harvey taking care of her like this along with her sight in the fire and the sound of it, which helps her calm down as the minutes go by.
"You know… I was born just before winter and my mum always tells me that when I was a baby, and no one could reassure me, my dad used to carry me near the fireplace because he believed the sound calmed me… And I think it keeps calming me." He smiles at her words. "And the tree looks pretty well there."
"It's where we always put it." He chuckles tenderly, looking at the tree.
"I know, but I like…" She sighs and turns, to stay with her nape against the pillow, he looks down at her and drags his fingers at the top of her head. "Would you help me decorate it? I think I bought more than I should." She giggles, a little embarrassed.
"Yes, of course." She smiles and settles down again looking at the fire.
The minutes keep passing, and Harvey begins to feel his back numb, but Donna seems to be so at ease, he doesn't want to move.
"Sorry." She says and gets up a little, holding herself with her arm on the ground. "We can move from here if you want."
"It's okay."
"It's not okay, you're grumbling like when your back hurts."
"But..."
"You do it without realizing it." She chuckles.
"And why do you pay attention to me when you are the one who feels bad?"
She shrugs. "I care about you."
He approaches her and gives her a tender kiss on her lips. "And I care about you." He strokes her cheek. "Do you feel a little better from the cold?"
"Yes, thank you." She strokes Harvey's cheek with her fingers and gives him a short kiss on the lips. "I'll go wash my face, and then open what I brought, will you really help me?"
"You say it as if all these years, we haven't done it together."
"Well, but for many years I thought you were the Grinch."
He giggles. "There was no need to put garlands in the office, you know?"
"As I said: Grinch." She chuckles. "Go find the ladder and boxes."
"As you say, your ladyship!" Donna giggles again and hits him gently on his shoulder, then begins to go to the bathroom, but he grabs her softly by the wrists and makes her surround him by his waist, he wraps her neck with his arms and kisses her until he leaves her breathless. "I love you, you know that?"
"I know, and I love you too." She murmurs and clings to his body once again. He entangles his hand in her hair and sweetly kisses her temple.
"Everything will be fine, I promise you." She nods and hugs him tighter.
"Thank you for always holding me." She mumbles.
"Always," He whispers with his lips against her red hair.
"Can you hug me for a while longer?"
He smiles sweetly against her hair. "Of course."
. . ✧ . .
A while later, she is spreading the ornaments that she bought at the table and Harvey is making an effort not to laugh, because she bought as if they had no ornaments in the house, and they have several boxes in the garage. But he also understands that she bought with an emotional impulse, so he decides to endure his urge to tease her. Even though they'll both know it's a joke, over the years both have learned that while teasing is very fun and always will be part of their relationship, there are some jokes in some moments that are better not to say.
Donna, without saying anything, walks towards her husband and puts in his head a Santa's hat.
"Excuse me?" He asks and she giggles.
"You've got some gray hair already, you know? You can be Santa."
Well, apparently some jokes are admitted today, but Donna says it with a smile, and he can't resist it, she has already cried a lot.
He endures the laughter. "Are you telling me old?"
"Well, it's not that we're 20 anymore and gray hair is very sexy… And you look cute with Santa's outfit."
"So… Am I sexy or cute?"
"Both." She smirks. "My personal Santa Claus."
"Ok, I'll take it… But it's not that I'm craving his enormous belly."
She bites her lower lip and runs her fingers through his abdomen. "I must say you know how to keep things in place." She raises an eyebrow seductively, and he kisses her, grabbing her cheeks.
"Well, I must continue to impress you."
"Harvey… you're attractive to me, this is no news, and that you put me horny, neither… but that would still happen with 3 less marked muscles." She responds, with all the seriousness of the world.
"I know. But liking you and liking myself makes me feel good."
"I understand you because it's the same for me." She gives him a brief kiss on the lips.
"So... Did you buy just one hat? Because I think I'd like you wearing one of those."
She giggles. "No, there is one for me too." She replies, reaching it.
"Good." He takes it out of her hands and puts it on her head.
"You are making the strength not to laugh, I can see it on your face." She giggles again.
"Yes, it's a bit ridiculous, but also tender."
"Well, in you too. You know?" She says, moving her hand behind Harvey's to reach for her phone that is on the table, she opens the front camera and they both start laughing when they see themselves on the screen. He takes the phone out of her hands and takes some pictures of Donna laughing. Then, he grabs a garland and puts it around her neck, Donna is still giggling and knows that it isn't so funny, it looks more like a method of defending her body to counteract everything that had been crying, and she takes it. He takes pictures of her smiling and doing ridiculous poses with the garland and hat, and enjoys watching her laughing like this. "Come here," She tells, extending her hand at him, Harvey obeys and immediately is again behind her, hugs her by the back, and they take some photos playing fools, those kinds of photos that they only take for them and they know they will continue to make them laugh over the years.
Donna is seeing the photos on her phone and she hasn't noticed when he has left her side, she notices it only when starts listening to a song that instantly recognizes. She turns and looks at him smiling.
"Can I have this dance?" He asks, sounding like a gentleman and extending his hand towards her.
She gently chuckles at his attitude and walks towards him, first their hands are joined and he guides her towards him until their bodies meet, Donna's hands surround his neck, and Harvey's hand clings to her waist. She rests her cheek between his neck and shoulder, with her face hidden in the hollow of his neck and he rests his chin on her head, both are swinging, their feet almost don't peel off the ground and the movement is very smooth, their breaths are synchronized and their couple's warmth surrounds them.
"I've got you under my skin
I've got you deep in the heart of me
So deep in my heart
That you're really a part of me
I've got you under my skin."
Donna believed she knew Harvey as the palm of her hand, but the truth is that there are things she would never have expected of him, such as that quite often, he spontaneously invites her to dance in the middle of their living room. Once she asked him if there was any reason, and he replied that music is something that always makes him think about his father and all the nights shared with her in his office, and that's why he enjoys connecting with her in that way, and that was the third time Donna had run out of words before him. It hasn't happened again.
He has told Donna tirelessly about this song, about how much his father loved it and how, without success, Gordon had wanted to teach him, at that time when his father believed he might also be interested in music… All those memories made this song one of Harvey's favorites, it had sounded in their evenings in the office along with their drinks, and she knows immediately that when that song is played, Harvey's going to invite her to dance, no matter where they are…
Over time, they have realized that this song talks about them, about how even though they have tried, they have never been able to get rid of the other because they have each other under their skin.
He feels her warm breath against his neck, her chest swelling slowly over and over again against his with every breath, and raises one of his hands in the middle of her back, she smiles as she feels his hand rubbing her spine, and she gives him a soft kiss on his neck.
"Do you feel better?" He murmurs.
"Yes, much better." She whispers, her eyes closed, feeling Harvey's body surrounding her, giving her all the peace she needs.
The song finished, but they still cuddle, not moving. She plays with the short hair on the back of his neck and he moves his thumb on the skin of her neck.
"You're not cold anymore, right?" Harvey dares to break the silence.
"No, I'm fine now." She moves her head enough to look at him. "Thank you." She murmurs, scratching his neck with her fingers gently. He just grins at her and kisses her forehead. Donna smirks at this and closes her eyes, enjoying it.
He kisses each of her cheeks, then her nose, and mutters on her lips. "I love you, Rudolff."
"I love you, Harvey." She sobs on his lips.
He grins soft against her lips, she returns him the smile and he captures her lower lip among his own, bringing her closer to him with his palms on her shoulder blades, Donna passes her arms under his, also puts her palms on his shoulder blades and feels the tongue of his husband wanting to join with hers, and immediately opens her mouth to let him deepen that kiss. He feels her moaning softly in his mouth and clings more to her, she smirks in the middle of the kiss at this moment and only lets him flood her with his love.
"So... will we do this?" He asks by separating himself from her, agitated by the shortness of breath and looking at her swollen beautiful lips.
"Let's do it." She responds.
After a while, there are Christmas decorations everywhere, on the table, on the floor, on the couch... They have put some decorations over the fireplace, they have put the Santa on the door, and Donna has insisted too much on putting garlands on the staircase, Harvey hasn't had another choice other than access, it isn't that he will bother about the garlands there, it's that he's always the one who puts them. So, while Harvey's putting them on, she starts putting ornaments on the tree.
"Are you sure that the ornaments are enough?" He asks, mocking her.
She turns to look at him, laughing. "Do you think you are funny?"
"Well, you're laughing." He shrugs from the stairs. "Do you know what this looks like from here? Like big chaos... And there seems to be enough to decorate three trees."
"Do you want us to go find something more?" She challenges him, also mocking him.
"Better continue with that," He responds, reaches for one of the ornaments he's putting on the staircase, and pulls it towards his wife. Apparently, so many years of baseball have given him good marksmanship.
"Harvey!" Donna yells, trying to sound angry, holding the laughter.
"What?"
"Stop!"
"I'm not going to apologize for making you laugh, you know?"
"I'm not laughing," She replies, biting her inner cheek to suppress the laughter.
"Sure." He giggles and keeps his gaze on her for several seconds until Donna can't take it anymore and laughs. "As I said..."
"Finish with that!" She says, without paying attention to him. He giggles again and just goes on with his own thing.
While Harvey finishes putting garlands and some ornaments all over the staircase, Donna has put several ornaments on the tree, but it isn't finished yet. He approaches and puts his hands on her hips from behind and kisses her on the cheek.
"Do you need help?" He whispers, bringing her body against his.
"No, but you can stay," She smirks. "Do you have your phone?"
"It's on the couch."
"Can you order at Starbucks?"
"Do you want one of those disgustingly sweet Christmas coffees?" He says, pursing his face in disgust.
"Yes," She says, completely serious. "And muffins."
"Ok, ok... I guess I'll be able to order a normal coffee for myself."
"Okay, thank you for sacrificing for your wife."
He doesn't respond, just pinches her hips to annoy her and she tries to let go of him, but he won't let her, hugging her tighter.
"You won't get rid of me so easily."
"It's not what I was planning either way."
"Good," He responds, raising his arms and wrapping her by her shoulders, still behind her.
"Is it looking good?" She asks, looking at the tree.
"Yes, I like it." He answers, honestly.
More than an hour has passed, their Starbucks orders are over and the tree is ready. Harvey is carrying boxes with the stuff they won't use to the garage while he thinks maybe Donna bought too much… but it has been worth it if that has turned off her pain for a few hours. Meanwhile, Donna takes the ladder to the fireplace, to put some extra decorations that she left out of the boxes because they never seem enough to her.
When Harvey returns, Donna is on the ladder and without saying anything, approaches her and holds the ladder from below, several minutes pass there, in silence. He's too immersed in his thoughts.
"What are you thinking about?" She asks and lowers her gaze to him.
He looks up with a smile. "Nothing."
She chuckles. "I know you, Harvey."
He frowns. "Okay…" He pauses. "I was thinking about the time we did this in the office... I know you thought I was the Grinch, but I never could do it again." He sighs. "Do you have an idea of how incredibly sexy you look from here? And with the office dresses? I simply couldn't apply our rule by having you so close. And I have to say, this doesn't change even if you're wearing sweatpants."
She smirks with satisfaction and raises her eyebrow. "So... All those years you've thought I was sexy?"
He laughs. "And what surprises you?"
"Nothing, but I like you to tell me." She giggles.
"It's not that you've only seemed sexy to me all those years, you're still sexy to me.…" He whispers and releases the ladder to put his hands on her thighs. She feels his fingers in her legs and has the feeling of losing balance, Harvey immediately raises his hands to her hips to give her some stability.
"Harvey!" She complains, but he doesn't respond, just drags his nose on the back of her legs. "Let me go down, please." She sighs, enjoying what he's doing.
He looks up at her ass and snorts. "I have a good view from here, you know?"
"Or you just look... Or let me go down. You decide."
"Coward!"
"Harvey, seriously. I'm afraid of falling."
"I would never let you fall, Donna." He responds, lowering a few octaves in his voice, making his words have much more meaning.
She smiles. "I know… But, please, walk away and I'll stay here."
He grumbles. "It's a good view, but I've already had many years just to look at you..." He replies and moves away from the ladder so that Donna can go down. "And I don't know how I have endured," He murmurs in her ear, surrounding her body with his arms.
"Well, I haven't been able to answer that question either," She responds, dropping her nape against Harvey's shoulder and looking for his arms with her hands.
He gives her a sweet kiss on her neck and murmurs in her ear. "So... Did you end up there?"
"Maybe…"
"There's not much more space to put something in." He giggles against her neck and Donna enjoys the vibrations on her skin.
"I know." She giggles too. "Thank you for helping me with this… And for everything you did today." She turns to stand in front of him and surrounds his neck with her arms. "For everything you did this year… I couldn't if I didn't have you."
"Yes, you could, I'm sure of that. We both know how strong you are. But, I'll always be close to you." He kisses her softly on her lips. "You don't have to thank me. We are together, for better or for worse."
"I know… it's just that... It was the saddest year of my life, and it's very important for me that you're with me." She smiles with sadness and kisses him. "I love you, Harvey, you have no idea how much."
"I think I do have an idea…" He says, bringing her close to him with his arms. "As much as I do love you." He murmurs on her lips and kisses her sweetly, but Donna forces him to intensify that kiss, accessing his mouth with her tongue.
"So... Have you thought a lot about the ladders?" She mutters, breathless, on his lips, dragging her fingers through her husband's short hair.
"You have no idea."
"Give me a demonstration," She begs, wanting to sound sexy, but her voice breaks.
"Wait... Are you okay?" He asks with concern.
"You know I don't… Just, I need to stop thinking for a while."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, please," She replies, struggling with tears that threaten to overflow her eyes.
He decides to do what she asked, he knows he can do it, of course, but sometimes he just wants to hug her. It's not the first time she asks that, sometimes she needs something that turns off her thoughts and pain, and turns her body on for a while. He has had a hard time understanding it, but he learned that he has to give her what she asks for, not what he thinks she needs, and he can not only give it to her, but he also enjoys it.
"Ok, here you have me." He murmurs as his hands glide gently under the T-shirt Donna is wearing, feeling the skin on her back under his palms.
"Kiss me, please" She begs and Harvey does, his lips capturing hers. Donna's lips open immediately to receive him as he nuzzles her until she is resting against the ladder, one of her feet on the first step, her hips supported some steps higher. He raises his hands by the sides of her body until he reaches her cheeks and runs the hair from her face as he pulls a few inches away from her looking for some oxygen.
She stares at him, she doesn't want to lose that connection. He was the one who, in all this time, has kept her connected to the earth.
"I'm here," He mutters.
"I know." She nods, reaches his nape, and closes him to her. "And I love you for that." She murmurs and kisses him again, their tongues are tangled in a second and she feels Harvey's warm hands on her abdomen, his fingers dragging on her skin.
"I love you," He whispers in the middle of the kiss, his hands raising her t-shirt, his lips abandoning her mouth to reach her neck. She feels Harvey's nose travel through her throat and sighs, dropping her head back, he switches his nose for his lips and Donna presses her hands on his waist, looking for some stability. "I got you," He whispers up toward her ear and she smiles.
"I know." She repeats, still holding on to him.
"Relax…" He murmurs and strokes the back of her ear with his nose, Donna nods with a smile, and Harvey goes down by her neck until he reaches her clavicle and continues kissing and licking her skin softly, trying just to relax her.
She keeps her eyes closed, attempting to stay in the present, and must admit that Harvey is pretty good at that, feels her body respond to him and that is something that always gives her peace: when she feels like she's getting out of control, he's always the one who reminds her that everything is still real.
He wins his wife's first moan by sucking the point of her pulse as his hands slide into her breasts and he smirks against her skin. Donna feels Harvey pressing her breasts against his hands and hums his name with a smile, this man will never know how good he makes her feel just by touching her.
"Can I take you off the t-shirt? Or do you think you will be cold again?" He murmurs between kisses on her neck.
Donna smiles at his care. "Take it off." She sighs with her mouth open. He leaves her neck to return to her lips for a few seconds and then takes off the garment. When Donna's torso is naked, he cuddles her against his body, holding her with his palms on her back and she relaxes against him, feeling Harvey's fingers dragging over her skin and once again smirking against his neck. His hands-on her will always be something that connects her to real life.
After a few seconds, with sweet kisses from her shoulder to her neck, Harvey is making her separate a little from him and kisses her again, even gently, because he just wants to make her feel good. With her hands, Harvey guides her to lean against the ladder and she does, though it's probably not the most comfortable position in the world.
He leaves her lips and with his tongue lowered by her sternal and goes through her wife's breasts with wet, soft, and warm kisses while he feels her fingers getting entangled in his hair.
Donna is clinging with all her strength to the sensations that run through her body and is finally getting her body flooded with pleasant sensations. She feels how he captures one of her nipples in his mouth and groans his name, feeling the pleasure waves traveling her body, he sucks it and she moans again, feeling the pleasure reaching her core. Harvey's left-hand looks for her and intertwines their fingers, she grins in the middle of a groan and presses her fingers with his fingers. He carries both hands on Donna's left breast and gently tugs her right nipple with his mouth. "Harvey." She groans and he chuckles with the nipple between his teeth.
He looks up after a few seconds and smiles smugly at his view: Donna with her eyes closed and a genuine smile on her face, at the same time, he feels her heart beating under his hand. She opens her eyes and finds his gaze, both smiling and Harvey can only think of how all he wants to do for the rest of his life is do everything he can to give her moments of happiness.
He brings his forehead closer to hers, dropping it on her and sliding his hand into her pants, reaching her core with his index and middle fingers, feeling her wet panties. She closes her eyes again as she feels him pressing against her. His fingers move first up and down her swollen lips, she clings to his shoulder with her hand, seeking stability.
Harvey takes off his hand, and walks her entire thigh with his fingers, gently pushing her to open her legs further, until he reaches her knee and Donna finishes yielding to the pressure of his hand against her thigh and opens more. Harvey kisses her as his hand slides back into her pants and his fingertips run through her without focusing on any particular place. Donna drowns out the moans of frustration against his mouth but also enjoys this sensation.
"You are so beautiful," Harvey murmurs and now starts to move his fingers in circles around her throbbing bundle of nerves, against her panties yet, exerting more pressure.
"Fuck, Harvey," She grunts, feeling the humidity and pleasure accumulate between her legs with every movement of his fingers.
He smiles against her lips while stretching the elastic of her panties to slide his index finger in the middle of her soaked lips. She bites her husband's lower lip when she feels him in the middle of the kiss, drowning out a more intense moan. His finger slides up and down at a tortuously slow pace that ignites the fire in her pussy, which begins to spread sparks throughout her body.
She feels that Harvey add his index finger, opening her lips a little more with the same movement, and at the same time, his tongue is dominating her mouth. He clearly knows how to make her forget all the shit of life and make her feel good.
Finally, Harvey does what Donna is begging internally, which is to stop moving his fingers up and down and focus all her attention on her clit, his fingers moving in circles and pressing on it was all she needed to feel closer to falling by the edge. Every movement of him against her ignites her even more and could cry for how well he is making her feel. She feels as if he is replacing all the sadness that had been flooding her body a few hours ago, for just love and pleasure.
Without warning, his fingers leave her mound, and his index finger slides in search of her entrance, where he feels enough moisture to be able to glide smoothly and that's what he does. As she feels him going in, she clings to Harvey's neck and lets her forehead drop against his shoulder, drowning a cry of pleasure.
She feels his finger glide smoothly over and over again, at the pace that Harvey knows she enjoys, feels her walls stretching even further to receive a second finger from his husband inside her, and this time she bites his shoulder when she feels it, letting the pleasure flood her once again.
His fingers slide in and out at once, causing the swirl of pleasure to continue to increase inside his wife's body.
She has already stopped feeling cold, on the contrary, she feels her skin burning like hell itself.
Her sweaty skin, her agitated breath, her fast pulse, her pussy completely warm, tight, and wet, and the waves of pleasure taking control of her body make Harvey enjoy the view, much more than from below the ladder.
Donna feels Harvey's fingers curving inside her, looking for her front wall and she drowns the cry of her husband's name against his neck, feels him smiling against her ear, and he gives her a sweet kiss in her temple, which makes her feel so loved.
"Harvey, please." She whines in his ear. And when she says it, feels Harvey's thumb heading towards her clit and knows that she won't be able to hold it for much longer.
She feels her legs begin to tremble, a little by position, but mostly by pleasure, her arms are still clinging to him, who moves his fingers so skillfully that God, feels that she can never finish getting used to how this man can make her feel.
"Let it go, I got you," He says.
And that's all Donna needs, the orgasm reaches her from her core, spreading through her body as an uncontrollable flame of fire. Her body burns, she wants to enjoy until the last drop of pleasure, she needs it.
She needs to remember that there are still many pleasant sensations in the world, that there is much more than sadness and pain… and that she has the incredible fortune of having married a man who makes her feel much more than she had ever imagined. Every time he invites her to dance in the middle of their living room, or he kisses her with no reason. When he hugs her every night before sleep, or he holds her hand while they're walking on the street. When he surprises her with a gift, her favorite chocolate, or a theatre night. Each time his hands stroke her skin, every time he makes love to her. All those mundane moments remind her that she is still alive. Living life by his side fills her with pleasant sensations and love, all the time... it's just sometimes, she desperately needs to feel it again, like now.
She drops down against Harvey, who immediately wraps her against him, clinging her to his body. The only sounds that are heard are Donna's agitated breath and that of the fire on.
"So… I made you cum under the mistletoe, huh?" He says and she giggles, still with her body tingling with pleasure. "That has to be more effective than a kiss, right?"
She giggles again and throws her head back so she can look at him. "Do you have any doubt that we will spend the rest of our lives together?" She purses her nose.
He smiles and gives her a soft kiss on her forehead. "No, because you're mine."
"Huh?" She raises her eyebrows.
"Yeah, I know I sound like a caveman. And you're a great example of a successful and strong woman…" She smirks. "But you're mine - and I'm yours."
Donna doesn't say anything, just gives him a lazy kiss on his lips and curls up against him again.
In her arms, she thinks once again about how difficult it has been to go through this year and how important it has been that Harvey has held her in every step, and it's true, she belongs to him, and he belongs to her… but not in a bad sense, what they have built over the years, the feeling of deep love and respect that kept them together for so long, makes them feel that they could not be one without the other, so yes, they belong. They have each other under their skin.
She takes refuge in his arms for several minutes, still with her body relaxed by the recent orgasm, breathing deeply, wanting to be flooded with his scent.
Harvey separates, just a little bit of her, and reaches for her t-shirt. "Raise your arms, I don't want you to be cold again." He says and she grins, completely in love with that man.
It's not the first time he helps her to get dressed, (in fact, she has done it with him too) and although the times that they have been undressed have been many more, there is something in those protective gestures he has with her that make her heart grow an inch more in her chest. Donna raises her arms, letting Harvey help her with the t-shirt, and once Donna is dressed again, he carefully arranges her hair and then offers his hand to her to stand up, to which Donna agrees. They stay standing under the mistletoe.
"You know… Just in case, let's try with a kiss…" She says, shortening the distance between them, and surrounding her husband between her arms.
Harvey smiles and caresses her nose with his, also surrounding her with his arms, and kisses her tenderly. "There's no way anything, even a stupid tradition, will end this."
"I know." She responds, completely honest, and kisses him again.
"I've got you under my skin
I've got you deep in the heart of me
So deep in my heart
That you're really a part of me
I've got you under my skin."