Author's Note: I still don't own anything, nor am I making any money off this. Yep, still in the Reylo dumpster fire. Thanks for reading, lovelies! xx
Field of Vision
Chapter Seven
Memories of the night before surged into Rey's consciousness as she woke, bringing a small smile to her face when she located the nebulous form of the still-sleeping man next to her. Under the bedsheets it was hard to see where she ended and he began. Surely, Rey thought the night had passed, but it was still dark outside. Seeking immediate services of the bathroom, Rey untangled herself from Ben's warm embrace and leapt from the bed.
While in the bathroom, Rey imagined it would be awkward facing him again after such a life-altering night. But when she returned a few minutes later, Rey was met with the breathtaking sight of her other half awake and propped up against the headboard, the bedsheets tangled between his long legs. The pale skin of his chest glowed blue in the beams of early sunrise like a beacon for safe harbor, inviting her back to bed. Settling back in again, she savored how warm his body felt compared to the coolness of the house. It wasn't awkward at all; it was like coming home.
"Morning," said Rey shyly. He leaned over to kiss her forehead with a sleepily uttered reply.
Ben untangled his legs from the bedsheets and got out of bed. Sincerely appreciating the view from the bed, Rey eyed his backside as he lumbered into the bathroom. However, it was his return trip a few minutes later that truly made her blush. He didn't even try to hide his erection as he sauntered back to bed.
"Oh, good morning to you too," Rey said, struggling to avert her eyes.
Smirking, Ben climbed back into bed and nestled close to Rey.
"I hope I didn't disappoint," said Ben with a groggy voice.
"What?"
Ben grinned ear to ear, reaching down to caress her thigh. "Weren't you wondering what Ben Solo was really like in bed?"
Even in the sparse pre-dawn light, Ben could see Rey's face blush a deep red. She hadn't realized Ben was able to hear her curious thoughts that night, when he entered her nightmare. And now, he was just being a smug bastard.
Ben angled her thigh up to rest across his waist while his thumb made gentle caresses on her skin. Rey leaned in closer to his chest to hide her blushing face. He was a particularly talented smug bastard.
"I can't believe you heard that."
"Of course I heard it," said Ben, keeping her thigh raised as he shifted onto his side, scooting further down in bed. "How could I not; it's like you were shouting at me. Didn't even try to conceal it."
"Maybe I wanted you to hear it," she volleyed back, watching as he angled her leg to rest over his shoulder. She could feel herself warming to him again, giddy with excitement as his breath tickled her center. "Did you?" He asked.
Rey pursed her lips together.
"Hang on, I want to try something," said Ben as he settled himself between her legs.
Rey gasped as she felt his warm tongue press into her folds and tease her flesh. He moved to spread himself belly down on the bed in front of her, continuing the slow torture. His large hands pushed her thighs forward, opening her up wider to dive his tongue in deeper. Rey didn't even care she was being loud—this fruit was new and tasted so sweet.
"Don't stop whatever you do," she panted, fingernails scratching his scalp hard enough she could've sworn she drew blood.
Her flesh was still tender from last night, but his tongue was a devoted servant, licking and tasting her for as long as she wanted. But Rey demanded more from her darker half. From underneath the barrage of her fingers and his tangled fringe, Ben's eyes sought connection with hers.
"You want more?" He asked, his voice deep with want.
Rey nodded her head eagerly, biting her lip in anticipation. Ben licked his own long and calloused finger down to the knuckle before sliding the wet digit in between her swollen folds and curling, watching her eyes flutter close from the pleasure of his invasion. And just as he hoped, his fingers elicited from her another needy whimper. Ben could've swore he tasted it on his tongue. After a few moments, he added another slick finger into her heat, drawing another breathy moan from Rey. He teased her long enough to feel her inner muscles tighten around his fingers, signaling what would come next. He pulled his fingers out slow and licked her honey off as she watched, mesmerized and wanting.
Ben lunged forward between her open legs, smoothly sheathing himself inside her in one movement. They moaned in unison, two halves of a whole again. Ben descended on her like a hard rain, kissing her open mouth and slipping his tongue in to taste her again. Ben matched his rhythm with hers, bringing them higher and higher, as they discovered a sweeter way to duel.
"Ben, wait," she stopped him right as he neared the precipice of his pleasure. Afraid he'd hurt her again, he pulled out, but that's just what she needed him to do.
Rey had him flat on his back in seconds, climbing atop his mantle and hovered above him. Ben groaned angrily at the loss of her warmth, closing his eyes while his cock strained to be touched. Her body became a silhouette against the bright light of sunrise beginning to pour through the bedroom windows. She enjoyed having this power over him. His hands, acting as agents of their own accord, gripped her by the hips and applied the slightest pressure to bring her body back down on his.
"You want more?" She asked, echoing his sentiments from earlier.
Ben growled, but he was so desperate for her he'd do anything at this point.
"Fuck, Rey, yes I want more—," she slid down on his shaft and picked up the pace he maintained before. Ben released a groan from deep in his chest, the animal inside satisfied for now.
They moved in sync together, enjoying the warm, tight slickness where her body gripped his, dueling with excitement until they reached their mortal limits.
"And no… to answer your question. You didn't disappoint," Rey confessed at the end as she steadied herself atop him.
Ben smiled as his ego grew just a little bit more.
xx
"So, where's that spot in the hall?" Rey asked as she put the kettle on to boil.
Ben sat up straight; he had almost forgotten about that.
After their sunrise duel, the pair had risked venturing into the fresher together, which hadn't been used in some time. The water pressure came out jet fast at first, then piddled to a weak stream, but it was enough to do the job. The hot water was restoring as it soothed their taut muscles and washed away all the grime from their seemingly non-stop whirlwind of a journey into the unknown. Rey was prepared with a change of clothes in her kitbag, but Ben hadn't brought anything. Since the threads from his teenage years were far too small for him now, Ben had reluctantly looked for anything of his father's to wear while Rey washed their clothes.
Getting up from his seat at the kitchen table after having watched Rey discover all the food supplies Leia conveniently left for them, Ben guided her down the dusty corridor of his childhood playground. Lost memories of playing with his father in this hallway preyed on his unguarded mind. Through the bond, Rey sensed the nostalgia rise in him, and the familiar gut-wrenching guilt that soon followed. Ben had yet to forgive himself for his past mistakes. She didn't want to push him too hard too fast, but he needed to deal with that guilt soon before it ate him alive.
"There's a corner under the stairs I used to hide in when I was little," he explained, "Look, it's just here." Ben opened the creaky cupboard door and found a brown paper parcel, wrapped in string.
He bent down to pick it up and began unfolding the wrinkly wrapping paper. Inside, Ben found new clothes. He pulled out a dark leather jacket that reminded him strongly of his father's smuggler's vest, a pair of fitted, black pants and a cream white shirt. Something bulky rested on the bottom of the pack. He let the paper slide out of his hands to reveal his father's original blaster holster with a brand new hook for a lightsaber installed on the side.
Ben stared wide-eyed at all his new gifts, speechless.
"I bet you'll look as good in these as you did in that dusty cowl on Tatooine," said Rey, trying to lighten his mood a little.
Shaking his shaggy head at Rey's comment, Ben draped the clothes over his arm when something small fell from between the folds. A small metal case clanged against the tiled flooring, catching their attention.
"What's that?" Rey asked, picking it up to give to Ben. He opened the small case, reminding him of a jewelry box, but he couldn't believe what he found inside. His mother really did think of everything.
"Is that a Kyber crystal?" Rey asked incredulously.
xx
They returned to the kitchen in a comfortable silence. Ben placed his pile of gifts on the table and sat quietly, contemplating them while Rey poured their tea. She placed the steaming mug in front of him, pausing to see if he would acknowledge it.
"I think I need something stronger," said Ben.
"It's 9:00 in the morning…"
He knew exactly what time it was, and didn't care. Ben left his chair, tugging his father's baggy pants up his hips as he walked towards the hidden liquor cabinet above the sink. There was a time he was once unable to reach it, but always knew his parent's vices were kept there.
"Ben, don't."
Feeling rebellious, Ben tugged the cork out with his teeth and poured a slug of whiskey in his tea. Looking to Rey, he offered her the bottle. She glared at him.
"I think you should try on your new look," said Rey, taking the proffered bottle to just keep it from him. "Who knows… you might like it."
Equal parts curious and fearful, like the box might ignite at his touch, Ben picked up the tiny parcel that held the Kyber crystal. These were so rare nowadays. He toyed with the idea of crafting a new lightsaber, one that wasn't forged by rage. It wouldn't be easy to find all the necessary components without drawing any unwanted attention here, but he could do it. He opened the lid and picked up the crystal, turning it over in his had. His self-confidence grew with each passing moment, and as he held the crystal up to the sunlight pouring through the window, he noticed a faint blue glow emitting from it.
xx
Back in his bedroom, Rey sat crosslegged on the bed and watched with excitement as Ben changed into the new outfit. She was ready to see him in something other than the menacing guise of Kylo Ren; the image that used to spark fear in her and all those who crossed him. He'd pulled off the too-large tunic that once belonged to his father and picked up the cream white shirt, inspecting the new material. He failed to remember the last time he wore a light colored garment like this. Rey watched as Ben pulled each new piece on, adding the thick belt and finishing the look by strapping the blaster holster to his leg. If Rey hadn't known any better, she'd never think that the boy in front of her had been anything other than a slick city dweller. He stepped in front of the bathroom mirror to check out his new and edgier look, pivoting left, then right to inspect every angle. Rey couldn't help but giggle as she watched him swivel in the tight space.
"What are you looking at," he asked, the rising self-doubt audible in his voice. He looked ridiculous, he knew it, and she was laughing at him for it.
"I'm looking at Ben Solo, fully embracing himself after only the Maker knows how long," she repeated herself from the diner. Though, her words struck him harder now that he knew who he was and what he must do now. He realized she wasn't laughing at him because of some joke; she was trying to teach him how to let go.
xx
Eager for him to test out his new look, Rey built up enough courage in Ben to step outside again. Leaving the blaster holster at home, the pair sped back into Hanna City, looking for anything to do while they waited for Leia. Ben took the opportunity to visit metal smiths and antique shops, looking for something appropriate to turn into a lightsaber. Perhaps he was just being picky, but he couldn't find anything he wanted to put his soul into.
After fruitlessly hunting through dozens of shops and vendors, the pair had stopped for lunch in a nicer district in town. After only a few minutes of getting settled in for what should've been a laid-back dining experience, Rey noticed that Ben had become a popular subject for the female gaze. A tableful of upper-class teenage girls sat adjacent to their table, too close for them not to notice the handsome, dark-haired boy in their vicinity. Ben had wanted to take Rey somewhere nice, especially since he knew she'd never had such an experience before, and he wanted to make her trouble with him this morning worth a damn, but it was becoming impossible to enjoy their meal while listening to ceaseless giggling they all knew was directed at Ben. Rey was invisible to these girls, but amused by their back-handed whispering and giggling over Ben. It made her the slightest bit sad that she never had a group of girlfriends growing up on Jakku.
"I think they like you," Rey whispered. Ben was visibly uncomfortable from the attention and hunched as much as he could to shrink out of their line of sight. Even as he tried to hide, he could hear their giggles grow louder.
"If only they knew who I really was," he said darkly. "They wouldn't be laughing."
But Rey stopped him before he could backtrack any further, "Beneath any mask or fancy clothes, you're still Ben Solo. You're not… that anymore." Her brown eyes were full of fire as she spoke to him, firmly reminding him who he was and who he belonged to. "Trust me, I've seen him."
Rey's eyes softened as his shoulders relaxed and a small smile graced his lips. His right hand crept across the table to take hold of hers.
"C'mere, let's show them who you are," whispered Ben with a twinkle in his eye.
He leaned over the table to kiss Rey on the mouth and in full view of the prying eyes of the teenage girls.
Together, Ben and Rey smiled into the kiss when they heard the chorus of disappointed female moans from behind them.
xx
While waiting for Leia to return, the dyad couple had plenty of time to learn each other's limits.
Another day passed in which Ben and Rey ventured out into the city together, showing Rey the culture he was born into. Every once in a while, though, something would launch them into an argument. Either it was his stubbornness and pride, or her anxiety that led them to a fight. But in the evenings, they practiced the language of lovers, reinforcing their bond and healing all wounds from prior arguments. It was liberating to know they'd finally found belonging in each other, and they hoped nothing would ever take that away.
Ben had gone so far out of his comfort zone to take Rey to low-brow cantinas, learning to dance with her from newfound friends late at night. Ben savored the chance to be normal and spend this precious little time together with Rey, almost wishing Leia would never come and take them from their new lives here on Chandrila. Here, there was no First Order or Resistance, no Sith, no Jedi. No more battles, except the ones they wanted to fight.
xx
After they watched the sun set from the rooftop terrace of his parent's home one evening, they went inside, drawn by the invisible cord binding them together. They danced until they dueled, coming together and feeling the rush of their unique bond overtake them. It was almost a routine now, the way Ben swept her off her feet, like he was still making up for all the times he should've been kinder to her, before.
Long afterwards, Rey returned to the rooftop, draped in nothing but the bedsheet. She wanted to watch the procession of glittering stars crawl across the galaxy and her heated skin needed to feel the coolness of the night breeze. Ben followed with two empty glasses and a bottle of his father's whiskey in hand. They sat close to each other, like they always did now, on the futon under the stars. Ben poured her a glass and then one for himself.
The whiskey was like fire going down her throat as she drank, but the sensation was starting to grow on her. She liked the way it relaxed her, even more than what she could achieve while meditating. Ben stretched himself out belly down on the open futon with his feet dangling off the side. When he settled, Rey mindlessly traced her finger along the fine, white lines of scars she found on his back. The walls of her mind were open to him as she mapped the pattern of tiny brown moles alongside his scars, wondering how he got them.
"Show me your scars," he said, setting the glass down on the floor.
Rey tilted her head to rest on her knee as she contemplated his question. "Why?"
"I want to see how many times I wasn't there when you needed me."
Rey paused to contemplate her response. There were moments Rey misunderstood his raw affections, but none the less still appreciated them.
"Is that what you think they are?"
Ben's face hardened, a sadness passing across his features unlike any she'd seen before. Rey let the bedsheet drape down her back until it reached her hips. His fingertips skimmed the surface of her back, trying to find any blemish there. Slowly he pulled the rest of the bedsheet down her shoulders until there was nothing left for her to hide behind. He knew about the large scar on her right arm from their fight against the Praetorian guards in Snoke's throne room, and placed a small kiss there. Finally, he found a new one, a small three-inch line that ran diagonal down her left shoulder.
His finger traced the offensive jagged line, curious. "Where'd this one come from?"
"Do you want to know?" She asked, serious.
Her mind was closed to him. He had no way to preemptively know what she would tell him. But, they were both playing this game now.
"Yeah. I want to know." He took another sip of his whiskey.
Rey sighed, the soft expanse of her back expanding and contracting as she exhaled.
"You," she said simply.
Ben looked up at her, puzzled. He couldn't remember ever having touched her with a saber, or any weapon that would've left such a mark, now that he thought of it.
"Not a saber… a tree," she said, looking away from him as small tears welled up in her eyes remembering the pain. Wordlessly, she let him into her mind, replaying the moment from over a year ago when she was only trying to protect Finn as they escaped Starkiller Base in the shadowy, false night in the frozen forest. He had just killed his father, while they were forced to watch. She shared her memory of him angrily throwing her high and slamming against a tree in vivid detail, just before everything went black.
Ben's hand trembled as he reached for the whiskey glass. The unexpected sensation of harsh impact from her body colliding with the tree transferred into his own flesh through their bond, making him flinch.
He did ask for it.
Ben sat up slow, drawing Rey into his arms and held her tight, "I know I have a lot of things to apologize for. Some that will probably never be forgiven, and I'm fine with that. But... how do I take back what I've done to hurt you?"
A fat tear dropped from Rey's eye as she lowered her head, knowing that this pain was from the past and not one she needed to hold onto anymore. "You can't." She sniffed. "You just try harder not to let it happen again."