A/N: The first section of this chapter includes moments of violence, sexual assault and gore. Readers discretion is advised.
Chapter 14: A Dangerous Encounter
Anna bit her lip as her eyes followed the marching soldiers. This was not at all what she expected—at least, not so soon. Ever since she and Hans managed a safe distance from the Oskberg castle, she gave herself a false sense of security; that so long as they remained in Rheland's forests, they would be safe; that the real opposition would hit them once they crossed kingdom borders. Seeing a regiment of this size made her heart drop into her stomach.
I can't believe I was foolish enough to think we wouldn't see anyone. The entire kingdom is being taken over!
She shifted her body slightly to further flatten herself against the ground to not only avoid being seen, but to add more space between her and Hans. His body was practically smothering her. While she appreciated the protective gesture, there was only so much personal space invasion she could tolerate in a short period of time. In some ways, she was still getting over the sleeping arrangements from last night.
The breathing space only lasted about a minute. Hans' weight suddenly fell on her again. This time, she turned her head to the side to glare at him, "Why?" She hissed quietly.
"One of them looked in this direction," He whispered back.
"Did he see you?"
"…I don't think so."
Feeling frustrated, she blew her bangs from her face. "Are they still coming?"
"I can see the end of the line. Just a little longer."
The 'little longer' felt like an eternity. Since she couldn't see much of anything, she resorted to closing her eyes tight and relying more on hearing the soldiers march down the road. Everything remained quiet for several moments before he lifted himself off of her.
"Keep your voice low," he said quietly, "this entire area could be crawling with soldiers." Once he was back on his feet, he offered his hand to help her up. "Sorry."
If he was apologizing for squishing her, she didn't want to acknowledge it. "What do we do now?"
He pointed in the direction of their horse. "We get the hell out of here."
Anna didn't hesitate to run to the steed and climb up while Hans grabbed the reins from the tree branch. He was up behind her in a flash, and they were off through the woods once more.
Anna's eyes scanned the areas they sped through between the trees. When they first fled, it seemed they were somewhat following the direction of the road beside them. But it's been several minutes since she'd seen sights of a path.
"Um, are you sure we're going the right way?" She asked and turned to glance over her shoulder. "Where are we?"
"No idea."
Her eyes widened in panic, "Then how do you know we are going in the right direction? Or that we aren't riding right into some trap?"
Hans sighed loudly, "Does it matter? This entire journey is one giant trap. It will only be a matter of time before our luck runs out."
"You say that as if it's going to happen!"
His arm tightened around her as he braced for the horse about to leap over a fallen tree trunk. "There's weeks of travel ahead, Anna. We can try, but I highly doubt we can outrun these people forever."
Her brows furrowed. "Well if you don't mind, I prefer to maintain a bit more optimism."
"You do that."
Anna sighed and turned to the front again. "How long are we riding blind?"
"Long enough to hopefully put some space between us and them."
But you don't know which way we're going! Anna kept her thoughts to herself. What was the point of arguing? It was clear Hans was in charge of this entire operation. Unless she couldn't go on, he was the one to decide when they took rests, snack breaks, even when they rode the horse and when they had to go on foot. She was genuinely surprised when he caved as much as he did last night. Unfortunately, it would be a while before those small luxuries presented themselves again.
…if he wants to lead us in the wrong direction, then I'll make sure to rub it in for all it's worth if and when he starts complaining about lost time….
It was about half-an-hour later when they stopped again. Anna was almost afraid to climb down in case a soldier came out of nowhere. The discovery earlier still left her a bit rattled. The quick escape didn't do any good in easing the tense situation. But while she still maintained a firm grip on the reins, Hans jumped down and walked alongside her.
"Well, now that you aren't hunched over me anymore, maybe you could pull out a map or a compass or something and tell us where we might be."
Hans fished through his satchel, "Well, without any type of landmark, a map won't be of much help." He found the compass and turned it about in his hands. "…it looks like we're heading southwest."
Anna's brow furrowed as she mentally tried to get her bearings. "That's good, right? I mean, wasn't west supposed to be the direction we needed to go?"
He nodded, "I'm willing to bet that we're getting close to the Alvanian border."
She swallowed nervously, "wouldn't that mean encountering more soldiers?"
"Most likely." He slipped the compass into his coat pocket so he could dig out the map from the bag, "especially if they have an encampment nearby."
"…and this is what we have to look forward to…." She groaned out loud, "we'll never make it."
Hans snorted, "what happened to your optimism?"
"I think I lost it about six trees back." She glanced down when she felt some tugging on the saddle. Hans was digging through one of the original saddle packs. "What are you looking for?"
"Extra bullets."
"Wait, what?" she stared at him wide-eyed, "Why? You haven't even fired a single shot-I mean besides the one that killed that scout…"
"I want to be prepared. Seeing those soldiers on the road reminded me that they could turn up anywhere and without warning. We were lucky to get an easy out earlier, but it won't be like that every time. We may have to fight our way to freedom a few times."
Anna shuddered. By we, he must have meant himself. He's the only one wielding any sort of weapon. Thinking about the potential for conflict made her stomach turn. She remembered what Hans had to do to ensure they escaped the castle. And that was without traditional weaponry. She really didn't want to witness any repeat performances now that he was armed.
Is violence the answer? She wondered. Was there really a guarantee that any Alvanians we meet would be after us?
"Do… do we have to fight?"
"Well, I certainly don't want to get captured—"
"N-no, I mean we're peasants, right? If we're just traveling along the road minding our business and they come by, what makes you think they'll just up and attack us?"
He was quiet for a moment. "I suppose in theory, if they were to let us pass, nothing would come of it. But do you really want to take the chance of us being followed or recognized?"
She shrugged her shoulders, "it's not like you can take out an entire squadron by yourself."
He didn't reply. Instead, he turned his attention back to the map in his hands.
"We are still in Rheland, right?" Anna asked after a period of silence. "We haven't gotten ourselves even more lost?"
"We're not lost."
Sure, we're not…. Anna rolled her eyes. "Then how about we find a road to follow? I think I'm tired of being completely surrounded by trees."
"Roads are also surrounded by trees." He remarked dryly.
"But roads lead to civilization," She countered, "and villages mean we can figure out where in the continent we are. Because in case you haven't guessed, saying 'we're somewhere headed southwest or whatever' isn't going to cut it."
The bickering went on for a little while longer until it became clear that they were arguing in circles. The period of silence that followed was welcoming for them both.
After comparing the map and compass, Hans jumped back on the horse and once again took over their navigation. To Anna's delight, someway, somehow, they managed to find a way back to a road. She didn't know if this was the same path from earlier, but it didn't matter. She was simply happy to find it. And she made sure to keep her mouth shut about the discovery itself. For all their squabbling, there was no way she was going to give him the satisfaction of being right.
I don't care what he says. Until we reach another village, we are lost.
Her suspicions seemed even more validated once the road split int two. No road signs near the fork, and both paths looked about the same from a distance.
"Well shit…" Hans muttered softly and slid off. "This wasn't on the map."
Yeah? I'm sure there's a great many things no on your map, Anna frowned, "So… now what?"
"We pick a route."
"What if we pick wrong?"
He shrugged, "then you and I are going to be together a lot longer than you would prefer." He dug out his compass once more. "I bet one of these leads to Alvania."
"What if neither of them does?" She asked.
He glanced back towards her, "then your plan gets scrapped and we go the rest of the way through the woods." He left the horse's side and walked more into the middle of the intersection with the compass in his open palm. "It looks like the right path goes towards the west. We should probably try that route."
Anna was surprised when he reached for the reins instead of climbing back up. "You're going to walk?"
"I find it safer at the moment." He replied, "you're so tense, I'm afraid of you striking me if we start quarreling again."
She rolled her eyes. She was certainly peeved with him, but not to the point of swinging a fist. The mere idea of hitting him never even crossed her mind. "Suit yourself," she said with a shrug of her shoulders, "more room for me."
This section of road was a lot windier than she expected. She preferred straighter paths. It was a lot easier to see what was coming up ahead. At least from what she could tell, Hans was equally uneasy. He led the horse with one hand and kept the other resting atop the holster on his hip.
"I think we're heading the right way." He gestured to the dirt marks along the side of the road, "uniform boot prints. I bet anything that regiment we saw earlier passed through here."
"Where do you think they were headed? Greja?" The mere thought of that quaint little village being invaded made her incredibly sad.
"It's possible. Those people could be in for a rude awakening. I've gotten the impression that King Wilhelm's death hadn't reached this far south, yet. We were fortunate no one there was looking for us." Hans said, "I'm sure every village we enter from this moment forward will be crawling with soldiers. Or… local civilians eager to potentially earn some reward money. Now more than ever, we're really going to have to sell who we are."
"By we, you mean me." Anna huffed.
"I can act just fine."
"Well it's hard to be convincing when I don't know anything!" She sighed, "All we have are names—"
"—then feel free to come up with our cover story. Whatever you want. I'll follow your lead."
Her eyes narrowed, "what lead? You're the one who insisted on being the talker in Greja. And you've already shot down some of my suggestions—"
"—Fine." He conceded, "from this moment on, I'll cater to your stories. Just don't be too extravagant. Too many details and it's easy to forget and catch yourself in a lie."
"Right. I'll keep it simple."
Around another bend and the sound of hooves and boots could be heard. Hans had just enough time to redirect their horse to the side of the road as another group of soldiers came through; some marching, some on horseback. They took up nearly all of the open space, not even attempting to give Hans and Anna any room to breathe.
Anna's hands gripped the edge of the saddle as the men moved past. Thankfully, this group was much smaller than the first one they encountered, but it still left her incredibly uneasy. As she watched them advance, she tried not to make eye contact with any of them. However, it didn't stop her from being the subject of several sideways glances. A few men towards the end didn't even hide their ogling. It was a bit late, but she pulled her cloak tighter around her to hide herself from view. Once the immediate threat passed, she exchanged worried glances with Hans.
I think I've seen enough soldiers to last me a lifetime.
"That was close." Hans exhaled after several minutes of silence. He took a quick glance down both sides of the path before coming around to the side of the horse, "Still want to stay on the road?"
Anna shrugged, "Maybe it would be better to stay in the woods…."
"Halt!"
Anna's heart started to race upon hearing soldiers coming up around the bend behind them. It took everything she had to glance over her shoulder. Instantly, she regretted the decision. It wasn't just one man. Two foot soldiers. Two horseback riders. She recognized some of them as the ones who were staring earlier. If she thought they were uncomfortably close earlier, that was nothing. These men had spread themselves out to surround her and Hans.
"You seem… lost." On of the riders said with a raised brow.
"Oh. No." Hans shook his head, "we're fine. Thank you for—"
"—It's not common to find passerby's in the middle of nowhere." Said a foot soldier. His eye remained locked on Anna.
"Where are you from?"
Hans eyed the man carefully. "Greja."
"You're a bit out of the way." Another laughed.
"W-we're merely traveling." Anna said quietly and looked to Hans. He didn't return the gaze. His eyes were focused on the men.
"Oooh…." Two of the soldiers cooed at her. One of them waggled his brow.
"And where are you headed?"
"Heidelberg." Hans said quickly.
The lead horseman immediately started to laugh. "Heidelberg? I'd say you're a bit lost there, comrade." He positioned his horse a bit closer. "Tell you what. We'll point you in the right direction—" There was something in his voice that put a shiver down Anna's spine. "—in exchange for about ten minutes with the fräulein."
"Each!" Added another with a mischievous glint in his eye. The horseman glanced to his companion and slowly nodded in agreement.
"Wait, what?!" Anna gasped in panic and gripped onto the horse a bit tighter as Hans immediately came to her defense.
"She is my wife, not a trinket for sale," he growled, "Thanks, but no thanks for the offer. We'll be fine on our own."
"Oh. It wasn't an offer." The rider drew a sword, and the foot soldiers followed suit. "She can either submit now, or we'll kill you and take her by force."
"H-Hans…" Anna choked out. She was at a loss for words. Everything escalated so quickly, and there was no way she would allow herself to become some toy to be passed around. But she couldn't let them kill Hans either. There had to be a third option.
"Well, fräulein? We're waiting."
"Desperately."
I think I'm going to be sick….
"Are you telling me that you abandoned your regiment just now all for the chance to satisfy your loins?" Hans bit out. "What makes you think you're entitled to any and every woman you come across?"
"Listen to this!" One of the soldiers laughed and waved his sword about, "Listen here, Hans, was it? There's one of you and four of us. We are in charge here. And if you wish to see your next sunrise, you'll kindly step aside."
"Hans don't…" Anna pleaded. She hated not having a weapon on her. Nothing would give her more pleasure than to slam a fist into their too-smug-faces. Instead, she felt utterly trapped and helpless sitting on the saddle.
Hans' eyes met hers when she called his name and he stared at her with an expression she couldn't quite decipher. His eyes would shift from her to the horse. Sometimes it was so quick that it was easy to miss, but it also meant that their attackers probably didn't notice it either.
Is he trying to tell me something? Anna bit her lip. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him subtly reaching for his pistol.
"Well gentlemen," Hans sighed loudly, "I'm afraid you've left me no choice. If you want her, take her—"
"HANS!"
"—but you've got to catch her first." In a fluid motion, Hans tossed her the reins and then immediately slapped the horse's rump. Anna barely had time to react before the horse bolted ahead. "Keep going!" He hollered after her. "Get out of here!"
The rider instantly swore, "we'll go after her. You two take care of him." He said as he took off down the road.
As Anna held on as tight as she could, she glanced behind her to see what happened to Hans. He was in the middle of the road dodging sword swings while pulling the pistol from his holster.
BANG
The noise startled her. Anna expected one of Hans' attackers to fall after hearing the shot. Instead, her peripheral vision caught sight of one of her assailants scream and fall off his horse. He landed face first in the road. Blood was seeping through his coat.
BANG
She jumped again at the sound. By now, her heart was thumping hard in her chest. Her eyes moved quickly over her shoulder. She couldn't tell where that shot landed, and quickly whipped her head back to pay attention to where she was going. She had something more pressing to worry about. The other rider was gaining on her. Thinking fast, she tugged the reins and steered the horse hard to the left, back into the woods.
Maybe if I'm lucky, I can lose him in the trees.
This area of forest was far denser than where she and Hans were traveling earlier, and it was considerably harder to navigate through. Her speed slowed considerably to avoid running into trees and knocking her head into low hanging branches. With so many weaves, it didn't take long for her to lose her sense of direction. A quick glance behind her showed empty forest. Her attacker was nowhere to be seen.
Facing forward again, her eyes scanned the surrounding trees, expecting the soldier to burst out. At the moment, she didn't hear hooves. Off in the distance, she did hear another shot go off. Her thoughts instantly went to Hans. She had seen him in action plenty of times to have confidence in his fighting abilities, but that didn't stop her from worrying. As far as she knew, he only had the one pistol to defend himself. Going up against two swordsmen was hardly a fair fight. She hoped with every fiber of her being that Hans was the one firing the shots—not the one being fired on.
So much of her wanted to turn back to the road and see if she could help. Was it a bad idea? Naturally. Was it worth the risk of galloping right into a trap?
For Hans? Absolutely, Anna thought as she weighed her options. He's risked so much already to save me. I have to do the same.
Swallowing her nerves, she gave the reins a flick but didn't get far. Bolting right into her path was her assailant. The sudden appearance spooked her steed, and she let out a startled cry at being thrown off onto the ground. She landed hard onto her side and could only watch in horror as her horse bolted off back to where she assumed the road was.
"No-no-no!" She called out, but it was futile. The horse was gone, and the soldier was still advancing on her with his sword drawn. Anna scrambled backwards on the ground until she hit a tree; then she pushed herself to her feet and ran as fast as she could through the thicket winding in different directions to not leave a clear trail.
Maybe if I can get far enough away, he'll stop looking.
She forced herself to stop and lean against a tree to catch her breath. Her throat felt like it was burning, her legs incredibly heavy.
I really hope Hans is faring better than I.
Footsteps were advancing, and she let out an exhausted groan as she broke into another run. Every so often, she glanced over her shoulder. There was no sight of him, but his approach was making plenty of noise. While her attention was behind her, however, she stumbled over a raised tree root and lost her footing. A cry escaped her as she fell to the ground. Pain shot through her right ankle, and every time she tried to stand and put weight on it, her leg buckled, and she toppled back to the ground. Wincing in pain, she reached for her foot just as the soldier burst through the trees.
"Ah, so it appears our little game of cat and mouse is at its end," he drawled and pointed the tip of his sword at her.
"Please…" Anna said quietly, "You don't have to do this. You don't want to—"
He raised his brow at her with an amused expression on his face, "Don't I?"
She shook her head and tried to drag herself backwards to put distance between them. Her efforts only made him slowly step closer. "Don't you want to return to your comrades? I'm sure they're missing you by now."
"Perhaps. Though investigating suspicious civilians takes time." His eyes traveled over her slowly before landing on her hands rubbing at her right boot. "Plenty of time."
Anna was sure her heart skipped a beat once she found herself backed against the base of a tree. "Y-your commanding officer won't be happy with your ab-abandoning your march." She stuttered.
He knelt before her and held the blade against her throat. "My commanding officer?" He laughed, "what if I told you that your Hans shot him?"
Anna swallowed and pushed her head back against the tree, desperate for extra space. "I'd say you're lying." Her brows furrowed as she glared up at him, "A true, noble soldier wouldn't let his men attack the innocent. But then what would you people understand about honor?"
"Oh my…" he grinned, "the little mouse bears some sharp teeth." He leaned forward, bracing some of his weight by leaning a hand down onto her right foot. A great bit of pleasure showed across his features as she tried her hardest to suppress the pain she was feeling.
"S-stop!" She gasped and tried to shift her leg away. She could only bend forward so far with his blade in front of her. "Please don't. You're going to regret this. M-my husband—"
"-Oh, he's surely dead by now." He cut her off. "After that stunt he pulled—"
"—he tried to save me!" She barked back and cursed herself for leaving her satchels attached to the saddle. Once the horse ran off, she was left with nothing to defend herself. Only her fists, and one foot. Her currently predicament didn't give much to work with. The sword was the only obstacle stopping her from clobbering him in the face.
"Chivalrous, and yet futile. It cost him his life. And you, fräulein, caught in this little trap." He jostled her foot again for good measure. She gritted her teeth and hissed through the pain. He was amused and chuckled loudly when her left foot shot out to kick at him. The strike landed lopsidedly into his side instead of his chest, but not hard enough to make much of a difference. To her dismay, it only spurred him further. His free hand left her boot to latch onto the other foot "You're certainly a feisty one."
Anna gasped in horror as his gloved hand slinked its way along her footwear and under her skirts. The touch ran a shiver down her spine, and she tried to struggle out of his hold. The grip was too tight, and he made a point to press the blade against her throat to keep her in line. Her hands immediately moved upwards to grab onto his sword arm and keep him from digging into her throat further.
"I think I'll take my time with you." He said as his fingers stroked the underside of her knee. "After all, you seem to have plenty of opinions about my people. I'd like to know how you came to those conclusions."
"I'll never tell you anything!"
"Perhaps not yet." He prompted and slowly slid his leg up further along her thigh, "But cats enjoy toying with their prey before going in for the kill."
She whimpered upon feeling his thumb about halfway up her thigh. Suddenly, she felt paralyzed with fear as the weight of the situation really hit hard. If what the man said was true, Hans could really be dead, and she not far from joining him—after being forced to endure whatever disgusting defilement was in store for her. Someway, somehow, she had to fight back. But a kick from her bad foot wouldn't connect well, and she'd only really be hurting herself. And her mind and body were having such conflicting responses that she didn't know what to do.
"S-Stop!" She squirmed, "p-please don't—" she bit down on her lip hard as the soldier shifted his position to briefly push a knee onto her right foot.
"Now, fräulein, I –urk!"
Everything happened so fast that it was almost too much and too gruesome to register. Mid-sentence, the soldier's eyes suddenly bulged out and his mouth left agape. He never finished his sentence. His voice was immediately cut off by the most disturbing sound of metal piercing through flesh. Just when she thought that was cringeworthy enough, the tip of another sword immediately protruded from the man's chest, sending a spray of blood and matter everywhere.
Anna screamed in horror loudly for several seconds, not even registering the sound coming from her mouth until her throat felt raw. She thought being a witness to King Wilhelm's murder was difficult. While uncomfortable, she had the benefit of being a relatively safe distance away, and in the middle of a crowd. Not this. Not here. A man was just skewered like a piece of meat not even a meter away from her. All she could see was red; all she could smell was blood. She had never seen something so gruesome in her entire life. The moment the soldier was run through, the sword dropped from his hand to land across her legs. As soon as the impaled sword was withdrawn, the body slumped forward onto his knees right atop her feet.
Oh my god. Oh my god. I know I'm going to be sick…. Her hands went up to cover her mouth as the dead man was harshly kicked to the side onto the ground beside her. Her eyes followed the corpse as it landed in a crumpled heap. That gave her a new view of the puncture point on his back. Not nearly as disgusting as the front, but still smothered in sticky red. Unable to stare any longer, her heart thumped harder as her eyes forced themselves off the soldier to see who delivered the fatal blow.
There was never a more relieved sight in her life. Hans was standing before her with the bloody weapon in his hand. There was a bit of blood trailing down the side of his face, as well as a red stain through the left sleeve of his greatcoat. The aura he gave off was venomous, his expression angrier than she had ever seen on him or anyone else, and all of that rage was directed at the dead man.
"No one…" Hans said through gritted teeth, "no one touches my wife but me."
Anna pulled the horse blanket tighter around her shoulders as she leaned up against a tree. The sun was practically set, the sky consumed by darkening shades of orange, pink, and purple. Looking out straight ahead was a rather large lake. Seeing the sky's reflection in the calm water gave her a small sense of peace.
If there was one word that she'd use to summarize what became of the remainder of the afternoon, it was 'disturbing'. Hans' sudden appearance was the best blessing she could have asked for at the time. He took great care in making sure she was alright. Though, 'alright' was nowhere near the proper term. While his timing spared her from a vile man's assault, there was still the aftershock of everything she saw. Those mental images wouldn't be leaving her any time soon. The mere thought of sleeping put her off. No doubt the murder scene would plague her dreams for days. Perhaps weeks.
On top of all of that, there was her throbbing foot. Walking was near impossible, and Hans had to resort to carrying her out of the thicket.
If she had to consider one positive that came from the violent encounter, it was that they no longer needed to share a ride. She was glad that in his search for her, Hans managed to track down their horse, and nearby was the abandoned steed of the soldier. Getting her back onto the saddle was painfully tricky, but she was never more thankful to get away from the area. Even better to not have Hans' arms around her. She was grabbed enough for one day.
She and Hans barely spoke once they were on the move again. He seemed content to brood, while she was left to her own thoughts. Unlike the previous days, there was no luxury of extensive travel to allow her to gather all of her thoughts. If felt that today, she and Hans didn't make much progress. They only really traveled in the mid-morning and partially through the afternoon hours. They discovered this lakeside just as the sun was starting to set. For once, it wasn't her idea to stop. It surprised her even more when Hans helped her down off the saddle and decided they would make a camp for the night. She certainly didn't complain. Anything was better than riding all night long. And the lake did make for some pleasant scenery.
Instead, the downtime gave her plenty of time for reflection. The attack came to mind first. Her left hand moved up under the blanket so her fingers could trace along her throat. The skin felt smooth to the touch. No pain. No signs of a cut. Thank goodness, she sighed to herself. The situation could have ended very differently with the man's sword pressed against her throat. And without Hans' timed appearance—
Her leg tensed up on instinct, as if she could feel a phantom hand slowly rubbing its way up her calf in the same slow path under her knee, and beneath her drawers on her thigh. Her limb immediately jerked out to the side to shake the feeling away.
What would have happened without Hans? She winced, how many liberties would he have taken with one hand alone? I doubt he would have stopped at my legs. Would he really have r-… raped me with a sword to my throat? She swallowed hard with the mere thought turning into a twisted vision that she neither wanted nor needed. Anna squeezed her eyes shut and violently shook her head to rid herself of the images. Eyes open again, they narrowed at the sight of her hands in her lap.
He would've… because I would have let him.
Her conclusion disturbed her to no end, but it was all he could think of. What did she do while being petted?
Nothing. I just sat there, still and tense as ever while he had his fun.
She sighed. Her hands, when they weren't on the ground, were bracing against his sword arm to keep her throat intact. But her feet….
Anna grimaced, I bet if I tried harder, I could have wrestled my leg free. I could have fought harder with my other foot—ankle pain or not.
Her gaze shifted to her right foot. It was currently being propped upon her clothing satchel after Hans had checked on it. She wiggled her toes slightly. The movement set off her ankle again and she winced.
I suppose it wouldn't have mattered in the end. It's not as if I could have gotten away from him, anyway. Anna frowned, If I made him mad enough, he probably would have just slit my throat and put an end to me.
The logic didn't make her feel better. That certainly wasn't her first time in a fight. In the past three years, she'd had her share of adventures. Some were more dangerous than others. She fought wolves, bandits, even Marshmallow. Not once did she find herself paralyzed in fear.
What made today different?
Anna wiped her nose with a corner of the blanket. She knew the answer, she just didn't want to admit it to herself. Everything was different here. This was no mere venture with Kristoff and Sven, Elsa and Olaf; off through northern mountains to find magical ice palaces or through hidden valleys in search of ancient artifacts; no silly antics to take the pressure and tension away; no magical sister to supply any sort of magical back-up or support when things get hairy.
"I was afraid…" she eventually whispered to herself. "Afraid of losing everything. My family, my friends… my very life." She sighed loudly. The longer this goes on, the harder it'll get. I don't know where I am, only that there's danger everywhere I go, and there's even more of it coming for me.
There was a soft whinny nearby. Anna glanced to the side to see both horses grazing. "At least they're happy." She muttered and leaned her head back against the tree trunk. "Wish I shared their spirits."
The fire was starting to dim out. She frowned and scanned the campsite. Where is Hans? How long does it take to find some more wood?
Hans….
She had opinions on him, too. Just when she thought she was learning to trust him, he sent two soldiers after her. We could have stayed together. It certainly would have saved me a lot of grief.
There was also the soldier's murder. She could still vividly see the look of death on the man's face. A sight almost equally frightening was the murderous scowl on Hans' as he shoved the corpse aside. Anna shuddered at the memory. Hans did save her, and she was grateful. But that just added to his killing tally. She was going on the assumption that the other three soldiers were dead as well.
That makes…five. I think.
She wasn't entire sure why she was making a point to keep track. The count only irked her, and no doubt it would increase as time went on—
"You certainly look troubled."
Anna jumped at Hans' sudden voice and turned to her right. He had emerged from the trees with a large pile of branches balanced precariously on one arm, and something red and fleshy clutched in his other gloved hand.
"It's about time." She huffed, though she couldn't take her sights off what he was carrying. "I'm almost afraid to ask, but what on earth is that?"
"Dinner." He replied. The branches were tossed down to the ground and he knelt on the other side of the fire to prepare the meat. "Have you ever had rabbit before?"
"I can't say that I have."
"In that case, you'll be in for a treat." He briefly flashed a grin, "I'm afraid this is as close to a romantic candlelit dinner that we can manage—"
"—oh lord…" she rolled her eyes.
Hans chuckled, "what, you don't think so?"
"I think you're crazy." She replied, "Just how bad was that cut on your head?"
Now it was his turn to roll his eyes as he positioned his makeshift spit over the fire. "A hot meal will do us both some good. And it'll be nice to eat something other than crackers and rations."
"Well I suppose you're not wrong there." She conceded. "I feel bad for that poor little bunny though."
"It didn't suffer long." He said. "If not for me, I'm sure it would've ended up as some wolf or fox's dinner instead."
"I guess," she frowned, "and I suppose that's what kept you all this time?"
He nodded. "I would've been back sooner, but I thought I'd spare you the messy, gorier bits of butchering a bunny."
"How considerate of you," she said softly. The meat was now cooking over the fire and before she could get the chance to say anything else, he stood and walked over to the horses.
"I think you'll find that I can be very considerate." He replied and returned to her side holding out her water flask.
"Hmmph," was all she had to say as she clutched the flask to her chest and watched Hans put his full attention towards their dinner.
"I'm afraid you'll have to manage without fine china and silverware." He said casually as he checked the doneness of the meat.
"What? But won't I burn myself?"
Hans laughed and put a sharper branch skewer through a done piece. "You're not holding it with your bare hands, darling." He reached around and held it out to her. "Here. This one's yours."
She brought the skewer to her nose and gave it a sniff. It didn't smell like much. Hans took his piece off the fire and came over to sit beside her. "Your piece is smaller," she commented. "Why?"
He shrugged. "It didn't cut the way I wanted. It doesn't really matter. I'm sure you're probably hungrier than I." With a small smile, he tapped his skewer against hers. "Bon Appétit."
Anna hesitated before taking a small bite. The meat was a bit of a surprise. It was blander than she was anticipating, but with a hint of something that she couldn't quite describe. It wasn't a foul taste, at least. She took another bite and glanced to her companion. He already ate through a good portion of his.
"And you said you weren't hungry…" she remarked and broke up her bites with a drink of water.
He chuckled, "like I said before, I suppose I was really eager to eat something different. How do you like it?"
She shrugged slightly, "It's not bad. I mean, I won't go craving it like chocolate or anything like that…" She offered him a small smile and nudged him gently. "But you're absolutely right. It's nice to try something new." She remained silent as she finished the rest of her portion and set the skewer aside on the ground. "You cooked it well. I didn't realize you knew how to… well… do whatever you did."
"Hunt?" Hans' smile widened, "You forget I'm part of an all-male-family. If there's anything that even I was invited to growing up, it was hunting excursions, shooting afternoons, hiking through the mountains. Half of the time there were contests who could shoot the fastest, most accurate; catch the biggest game. And when camping in the woods, you learn how to survive with what little you have." He took a deep breath, "some of those trips were a few of the only pleasant memories I had of my brothers. For once, they weren't beating on me. Just the wildlife."
Anna bit the inside of her lip. She enjoyed yet another glimpse into his life, but the subject also hinted at some of her own worries. "I uh… suppose they're the ones who taught you how to kill, too?"
"Well, that's all part of the hunting experience." He paused and cleared his throat, "but that's not what you're referring to, is it?"
Anna shook her head slowly, "are they all dead?"
He sighed and leaned his head against the tree with his sight towards the fire, "Yes."
She grimaced. "So, it does make five…."
"Five?" He asked. "Five what?"
"…kills."
His eyebrow immediately furrowed, "Are you seriously keeping track?"
"Not purposefully," she admitted, "but it couldn't really be helped—a t least not today."
"Should I even ask why?"
Anna shifted slightly to try and face him without moving her legs, "I think I'm the one who should be asking 'why'. Like… why did you think it necessary?"
His jaw dropped and he stared at her for a good minute. "You can't be serious. Tell me this is a joke."
"It's not!" She exclaimed, "Have you no shame or regret over what you've done?"
Hans leapt to his feet and tossed his empty skewer into the fire. "Regrets?!" I saved your life, Anna! That bastard would have taken every damn liberty with you had I not come along. And then once he had his way with you, he'd have killed you!"
"But—"
"Not to mention the others who were all too eager to do me in and then get their turn jumping you, too. Are you really going to sit there and question my motives?"
"Hans." Anna sighed, "I'm merely asking if killing them was necessary. Is murder ever the answer to anything?"
Hans ran a hand through his hair. "What I did today was in self-defense—for both of us. Yes, you're right. I could have registered them unconscious and had us made some mad escape. The same with that first scout days ago. But problems would arise as soon as they'd awaken and regroup with their kind."
"But by then we'd be far gone."
"You can say that now, it's after the fact. But nothing we do in-the-moment is certain. Every time we encounter soldiers, we are in danger. I'm sure you've heard the old pirate's saying 'dead men tell no tales'—"
"—no—"
"—Well, now you have." Hans sighed, "If they're dead, they can't report back to their regiments or to their superiors where we were spotted."
Anna hugged her arms close to her chest. He was making sense to her, but she still didn't agree with it. "It still seems so wrong. Killing. Murder. It's so… gruesome. I couldn't bear to wish such fates on anyone—even an enemy." Her voice hitched at the most unpleasant images coming to mind. "Especially that one." She couldn't bring herself to say anything further. Her lips trembled and she forced her gaze away.
"Anna…" He got down on his knees beside her and reached for her hands. "I'm getting the impression that you have an unfavorable opinion of me for what I've done."
She frowned. Unfavorable indeed. It almost feels like being out on the fjord all over again. The look on Hans' face was unmistakable. It may have lacked the twisted, disturbing grin from years ago—a sight burned into her memory—but in this instance, it was replaced with raw, feral rage. It, too, put a shiver down her spine. Thankfully, the gaze was directed at the soldier, not her. But it didn't make her any more comfortable. No matter the circumstance going forward, that was a side—or two—of Hans that she never wanted to see again.
"It wouldn't be the first time I've known you to go to for blood."
He squeezed her hands gently and bore his eyes into hers. "I want you to understand something. Despite what you think of me, I am not some cold-blooded-murderer. Up until this venture of ours, I have never killed anyone in my life. I don't regret my actions, but that doesn't mean I'm proud of them. This is a dangerous situation we're in, Anna. We don't know what each day will bring. Take today—a walk down a country road nearly cost us our lives. We're going to be put in plenty of situations where survival is everything. That could easily mean 'kill or be killed'." He sighed, "I'm not saying it's right, or easy. But at this stage, we don't have the luxury of the moral high-ground."
Anna shook her head dismissively, "There's always another option. There… there has to be."
"Was there an alternative today?" He asked, "A real one?"
She turned her head away. The day's events could have been avoided had they not been on the road. The regiment would have merely passed through without distraction just like the one before it.
But that's not what he's talking about. She sighed, once those men came over to us, I don't think there was anything Hans could have said to make them leave us in peace. But even self-defense maneuvers could have been done in ways that weren't permanent.
"…the man in the woods… you could have knocked him out at least two different ways. He didn't even know you were there!" She said softly, "so what if he woke back up? We stole his horse, and it would've been a while before he met up with his group again."
"…perhaps."
"—and what could he possibly have said? That he and his comrades got bested by some poor country peasants? I doubt he'd really want to humiliate himself and shatter his ego." A slight shrug and then she looked upon him with tired eyes. "I saw the look on your face. You enjoyed running that man through."
Something flashed in his eyes. For a moment, he seemed angry. Brows furrowed, eyes narrowed, even his mouth twisted into a scowl. She half expected him to pull away from her and go off on her again. Instead, after about a minute, his expression softened, and his hands gave hers another squeeze.
"There was no enjoyment in what I did. Seeing what that piece of filth was going to do with you made my blood boil. You're right. I didn't have to kill him. I needed to. I needed to make sure he'd never be able to attack you or anyone else again."
She bristled and tried to wrench her hands free, but his grip on them tightened. "Because that's not the reasoning of a cold-blooded-killer at all." She said sarcastically, "Like I said, out for blood. Well. You certainly got your wish. You did a good enough job on him that you've gotten his blood on me, too."
Hans shook his head, "I'm sorry you had to witness that up close, that you're left with the trauma and horror from it all. Consider that my only true regret. But I won't apologize for anything else." He said with a frown, "you and I are not going to see eye to eye on this, so I'm done defending myself. Nothing I say will convince you otherwise."
"On that, we agree." She grumbled.
"We come from two very different worlds, Anna." Hans replied, "You see my actions as destructive and dangerous. I see them as a matter of survival. We have only each other to rely on, and I promised I would do whatever it took to keep you safe. You are too important to fall into their hands. Beker and his goons can't ever think they can get the better of your sister. Don't forget, it's not just about us. I left Charlotte behind just to save you. We also have to assume that our families know nothing about what's really transpired here. Our arrival might be the only way the kingdoms can rally to fight back. So perhaps the next time I take matters into my own hands to keep us alive, you might think twice before questioning my motives."
He let go of her hands and she immediately tucked them safely under the blanket. "It's uncomfortable for me to accept killing someone—anyone—after what you've done in the past. I don't want you murdering anyone for my sake. I can't…." she struggled to find the right words, "…I can't bear that burden. Taking the life of another for whatever reason will always be wrong to me—"
"—then you'll be the one to benefit from an untarnished soul and a clean record. My past decisions have put me past the point of no return, so I have no moral issue doing what needs to be done. But I swear to you, Anna. Everything I did—do—will do—is to protect us. Protect You. I just need you to trust me to do the right thing for the both of us."
Her eyes scanned his face. His eye contact was unwavering, and his voice seemed sincere. She wanted to trust him. But every time she thought she was close to, he said or done something to send him right back to square one.
"You don't make it easy." She eventually said.
"Do you think you could at least try?"
She frowned, "Do you think you could try to understand my side?" She shot back, "Trust goes both ways, Hans. Perhaps the next time we're in a spot, you'll think twice before running a man through, or chopping off his head, or however it'd be that you'd end someone."
He sighed loudly, "if I promise to, can we move past this?"
She stared at him for a few moments before nodding her head. "This won't go away, you know. I'm sure these arguments will keep coming back. With our luck, probably tomorrow."
A quirky smile tried to force its way onto his face, "Perhaps we should save our jabs for future rounds, then." His hand reached to pat her arm. "It's over, there's no point in discussing it any further. Today has worn you down. Why don't you try to rest?"
It wore us both down. She took a deep breath and stared off towards the lake, at the calm water and quiet atmosphere. By now, the sun had completely set, and the only light dancing on the water came from the stars and moon as it moved in and out behind wispy clouds. But for all the peace the evening brought, she now felt little of it inside.
"I don't think I can," she admitted. "I think I'm afraid to close my eyes. No doubt any sleep I get will be littered with nightmares." She rubbed her arms, "I mean, I'm not even sleeping, and I can still see that man's death as clear as it happened hours ago." She cringed and glanced back to Hans. "I'm sure you don't need me telling you this, but you're quite a dramatic killer."
His eyebrow arched, "I am?"
Anna raised her chin up high and echoed Hans' earlier words with a pointed look, "no one touches my wife but me."
"Oh. That." Hans let a chuckle escape him, "Well, it's true, isn't it?" You're my wife therefore the honor of caressing you should fall to me and only me."
"HA!" Anna snorted and rolled her eyes, "Please. You're lucky I even let you hold my hand as much as you do. And don't even get me started on how we shared the bed last night. You might be my husband, but consider all marital privileges revoked. Indefinitely."
He was fully grinning now, "Exactly my point. If I can't have you, then no one can."
"Oh brother," she rolled her eyes as he stood up and walked back to the horses. "You know, we're pretty terrible at this."
"At what?"
"Being married. It's no wonder they all wanted me. I'm sure anyone with a brain could see through our little ruse."
"It's only been a day. You'll get better at it."
He did it again! She groaned loudly, "Excuse me? I think you mean we." He was taking a while by the horses and she struggled to twist around. Her foot fell off the satchel and she whimpered through the struggle of putting it back on its prop. "What are you doing over there?"
"Looking for something. It's a little hard in the dark." He mumbled, "—aha. Here it is." When he returned to the campsite, his hands were entirely behind his back. Whatever he was holding, she couldn't see it.
Her eyebrow raised as she tried to look around him. "What's that in your hands?"
He sat beside her, "close your eyes."
"C'mon, Hans. You're being silly."
"Just do it."
With a sigh, she complied and waited for something to happen. Beside her, she could hear Hans shift and then something light dropped into her lap. "…can I open them now?"
"Yes."
Anna glanced down and gasped. Sitting across her legs was a brown embossed leather-bound book tied closed with a ribbon. Her heart started to thump in her chest as she picked it up and ran her fingers down the cover. Her eyes then darted from the book to Hans.
This must be his sketchbook! Is he really letting me have a look inside? She recalled him being so touchy about the subject. What could possibly have changed his mind?
"Is… is this—"
"Open it." He nudged her gently.
Curiosity and excitement grew as her fingers released the ribbon closure and then pried open the cover, eager to see the secret contents within. As soon as her eyes landed on the first page, her smile vanished. The page was blank. A quick flip from cover to cover showed the entire book to be empty. She immediately turned to Hans for an explanation. He had a mixed expression across his features.
"There's nothing here…." She said disappointedly.
"I know."
Her gaze went back to the book in her hands. "I'm afraid I don't understand."
"You said you wouldn't be able to relax," he began, "well, I happen to know that getting a clearer mind helps. I've suffered through plenty of unpleasant nights over my lifetime. Drawing always helped. Being focused on something pleasant like mother nature or a happy memory truly did wonders. Perhaps you'd like to try it yourself."
"M-me? But I'm no arti—" she cut herself off as she began to understand what he was saying, "wait, you're giving this to me? Won't you need it?"
He shook his head, "I brought that along as my spare. Mine is pretty full, but there's probably enough space left for me to manage, especially since my priorities have changed for the foreseeable future." He gestured to the book, "I think you'll benefit from this far more than I."
Her jaw dropped. Hans surprised her yet again. Her mind stated racing. Was he doing this to make up for being partially responsible for her horrors? Or was it just to be nice? Either way, she didn't care. Hans was being respectful of her feelings. This was a very touching gift, and something so personal for him.
"Hans, I… I don't know what to say. I mean, besides thank you." She cleared her throat and smiled weakly to him, "thank you."
He nodded and matched her smile with one of his own. "Make that your own. Doodle whatever you like. Or, make it your diary and vent to the paper about how increasingly frustrating I am with every passing day. Whatever you choose, know that those pages are your private sanctuary. I'll never look inside unless you want me to."
Her eyes lit up and she hugged the gift to her chest. "Do you really mean it?"
"I do. We've got a stressful task ahead. It's our small, simple pleasures that'll keep us sane." He stretched his arms, "Now, I want you to rest—however you see fit. I'll keep watch for a while."
As he got up to add more wood into the fire, she took a closer look at the book, from the scrolling details in the cover, to the ribbon clasp and inside pages. The paper had a little bit of texture to it instead of being smooth under her fingertips. As she was about to close the book, she noticed something towards the bottom of the inside cover. It was writing. She didn't notice it her first time opening the cover, and she had to angle the book down towards the fire to catch enough light to read it. What it said made her gasp, and her eyes darted to Hans briefly before she reread the inscription.
A,
Forever a dreamer. May your imaginings bring you all the serenity & strength you desire.
-H
She felt some tears bead up in her eyes and she immediately wiped them away. She closed her eyes and clutched the book to her chest once more.
Thank you.