Author's Note: I still don't own anything, nor am I making any money off this. FYI: language warning. Please leave a review if you're enjoying the story so far. As always, thanks for reading, lovelies! xx
Field of Vision
Chapter 11
Ten Months Ago
Waiting was the worst part for Finn. Not knowing when Rey would return caused him to sulk when he thought no one was looking. Though he missed her something fierce, Finn wouldn't let it interfere with his other friendships, especially with other girls. He didn't want Rose to think that he missed Rey more than being with her in that moment. That wouldn't be fair. But, after Poe, Rey was the first person he had ever met outside of the First Order. She was the first person to look at him like he wasn't just another worthless grunt Stormtrooper—a name instead of a number. Poe had given him his name, for which he was forever grateful. But Rey had given him the heart to fight on and survive. Whenever she wasn't around, he lost a little bit of that fight inside himself.
Even when she was here, among the other Rebels on base, there were times Finn felt like she was still far away. She often fled social gatherings in favor of training, or simply seeking the solitude of the jungle. She'd grown up alone in a vast desert, scavenging for survival. So when she retreated into the verdant jungle, it was like entering another world entirely. She could lose herself in there for hours, getting into what only the Maker knew.
One day, Finn decided to follow her into the jungle. He wanted to know what she was up to for hours on end. BB-8 often accompanied her, but it's all "mum's the word" between the droid and Rey regarding what she did. Poe had tried, and was infuriated that his sassy, childlike droid never shared Rey's secrets with him. Dried up leaves crinkled and tiny twigs snapped loudly underneath his feet as he trekked into the jungle after Rey, trying to find answers to her detachment. Finn had to push wide, green fan-like leaves out of his way in order to pass, seeking any sign of his friend.
"Rey! Reeey!" Finn called out to her, eyes scanning the jungle floor.
Suddenly, Finn heard a hushed voice carry through the brush, trembling with uncertainty. It sounded like Rey was nearby. BB-8 was nowhere in sight, but that didn't mean the sneaky little droid wasn't still around somewhere.
"What are you doing?"
Finn heard Rey's voice cry out in shock. Something didn't feel right about this. Finn ducked behind a wide green leaf listening for anyone else in the clearing before he emerged. His eyes were trained on Rey's back, watching her reach out for something that wasn't even there.
Strangely enough, Finn watched Rey swat at something high in the air in front of her. But there was nothing. Not even a hanging vine.
"Don't do it, Ben. Please," Rey's voice sounded so broken, pleading to some unseen entity.
Finn was really starting to worry now—was there something he couldn't see threatening Rey? He stood up to his full height and pushed the wide leaves aside to step through.
"You're the Supreme Leader now, right?" Rey said mockingly to the unknown. "Then do something worthy of the title! Stop this offensive—whatever it is your First Order is trying to do! It won't make things better!" she begged.
The brokenness in her voice stopped his feet in their tracks. He was frozen, confused and suddenly afraid that if he broke her concentration, something bad might happen.
Rey's hands fell to her sides, the very image of her appeared defeated. Then, she started to cry, sitting down on the jungle floor. Finn couldn't take it anymore. He launched himself forward at full speed, running to Rey's side.
"Rey! Are you alright?"
She looked up in shock—her eyes were wide and glossy as she stared back at him in fear.
"Finn!" She cried, reaching out to hug his shoulders and leaned into his welcoming embrace.
"It's alright, I got you," Finn whispered, holding her tight. Rey shook in his arms, trying to settle herself again after whatever terrifying vision she just experienced.
He was afraid to ask, but he needed answers. He'd never seen her act like that before.
"Rey, what happened?" He asked quietly.
She stiffened in his arms, suddenly aware that she might have been overheard, or worse, seen interacting with Ben in the Force vision.
"Finn,"
"Look, if you don't want to tell me—I get it, but please don't lie to me and say everything is fine. You don't look fine."
Rey laughed, a small bell-like chime in between the sobs. "I didn't even say anything yet."
"I know. Just tell me everything, please."
A shadow passed across Rey's face. The smile was gone. Finn knew in that moment, he wouldn't get what he'd asked. More secrets. He hated secrets.
"Finn, something bad is about to happen. And I've got to tell the others."
Rey tried to stand up again, but Finn held her firmly in place, his soft eyes pleading with hers for some sense of honesty and truth. He learned the hard way on Takodana to never keep secrets from her and could only hope now that she would be as forthcoming with him.
"Who's Ben?" He asked. Rey tensed up again, fearful.
"Ben Solo… but you know him as Kylo Ren."
Finn felt like his head was about to explode. His anger and hatred for all things First Order swelled up again inside him, pushing its way to the surface. He could feel himself frowning, but needed to be willing to hear more.
"How?"
"Through the Force… we're connected somehow. We thought it was Snoke, but it turned out to be something else. I don't understand it, or how it works—so please don't ask me," she said.
But Finn's anger was getting worse by the second. He hated Kylo Ren, and now there was this. "Did he hurt you?"
Rey breathed a sigh of relief, "No, he didn't. I actually slapped him… stubborn bugger."
Finn was relieved. She was at least alright, even if she was shaken up. But, he didn't like the sound of her situation; being connected to Kylo Ren at any moment. It spelled trouble.
"Tell me how I can help," Finn asked, realizing he probably wasn't going to get anything more from her. He didn't understand it, nor did he really want to. Her safety and happiness were the only things that mattered.
Rey reached forward to hug him again, wrapping her arms around his neck and sighing. She could sense Finn's unease, and knew there was little now that could change that. "Finn… just try to understand this; that not everything is as it seems. And sometimes, the tide changes. People can change…. You changed, remember?"
Rey was right. He couldn't say a damn thing to argue with her now. He was once a stormtrooper—a failed one, but a trained bucket head nonetheless. Finn nodded.
"I'll try," said Finn, accepting her terms for now. There were still so many questions to ask.
"Thank you," she said. Releasing her hold on him, she wiped her tears away and hardened her expression. Always the fighter. "Now, let's go find the others. I need to warn them."
xx
His face stung from where she'd slapped him. But he savored the pain, letting his anger fuel him to do what he needed to do next. It wouldn't be long before he'd meet her again, he was sure of it. And then he'll endure this pain—a battle between light and dark inside himself—all over again.
The banging on the door grew louder until he yelled for it to stop. Replacing the heavy mask over his head to conceal the stinging red mark on his cheek from where Rey slapped him, then opened the door with trembling hands. He was both furious and terrified and was desperate not to let it show.
"What kept you?" General Hux was standing just outside his doorway, blocking his exit. "The Allegiant general is waiting…" Hux's features were contorted into his usual sneer of disapproval upon laying eyes on Kylo Ren, but his face quickly morphed into a look of pain as Ren Force-choked him. With an angry thrust, he throttled Hux violently into the hall, smashing him against the opposite wall.
"I told you, I would be out when I was ready," said Ren calmly, sweeping into the hallway.
Hux rolled over to sit upright, coughing and sputtering as he futilely tried to regain his dignity. He was used to the abuse.
"Who were you talking to?" Hux called out from behind him, halting Ren in his tracks. "Was it that scavenger girl, again?" His voice was strained from having been choked, but it was still full of venom. "You're so weak for her—aren't you!"
Hux had found Ren talking oddly to himself on more than one occasion. Some of those instances, his demeanor completely changed, softening almost. Hux was jealous that he would never hear Ren speak to him like that, openly and honestly. It soured an already spoiled taste in his mouth for Ren.
Kylo Ren spun on his heel, quickly returning to where Hux lay crumpled on the floor. He grabbed the redhead's collar and squeezed threateningly. This was the last straw; any remaining trust held between the two boys had been shattered.
"Give me one reason not to kill you right here and now?" His mechanized voice filtered eerily from the helmet, but Hux was used to it. Ren's grip tightened on his neck painfully.
Despite the pain, Hux smiled through blood-smeared teeth, enjoying the rare moment in which he had the upper hand over Ren. This, is what he lived for. And even though Snoke was long dead, the lessons Hux had learned from him remained constantly in the fore of his mind. Hux had finally learned what Ren was up to in his quarters all alone… his feelings towards Ren were complicated, but learned a long time ago to hide those from him, from everyone. With Ren's secrets burning in the palm of his hand, Hux knew he had the advantage here.
"Because you owe me," said Hux, barely able to breathe or speak.
Ren loosened his grip and Hux shook himself free.
"I pulled your unconscious body from the frozen forest before Starkiller Base exploded," Hux continued. "You owe me, Ren. Don't forget that."
xx
Present
Rey hadn't found herself in front of Finn's door in ages. Typically, Rey came here for comfort after a difficult battle, or to vent whenever a mission wasn't going the way it should've, or even more so; Poe was driving her up a wall. But all of that was before Ben became the focus of her world, and all of her efforts went into turning him back to where he belonged. She knocked once, then twice before Finn slid the door open.
"Rey," Finn looked surprised to see her. "Everything okay?"
Rey nodded, asking if she could come in. Finn pulled up an extra chair for her, resting on his own cot as he waited for her to settle in.
"I'm fine, I think…"
"You think?" Finn didn't sound convinced. Rey fidgeted with the wrappings from her blouse.
"Ben's meeting with the council is tomorrow. I guess I'm a little nervous… and I don't know why."
Finn sat back and listened silently. Like many others, he wasn't thrilled Ren was here at all. He didn't have many opportunities to be around the newly-reformed Ben Solo, but also didn't seek them out either. There was too much pain from the past year that Ren was solely responsible for. And so far, Finn hadn't seen anything done to make reparations for his sins.
"I know you don't like him, Finn—nobody likes him. I understand why… especially after all that he's done, but he's different now. Leia and I are trying to get people to see that. He's in such pain over every wrong thing he's ever done… I can feel it, constantly. As much as it is in him, it's in me too. And I know this meeting will determine so much for the future. I'm just not… I don't know if I'm ready to see him taken from me," said Rey, breaking down into tears.
Somehow, Finn knew she'd been holding that in for a long time. He reached over to hug her, cradling her head against his chest as she cried.
"Remember what I told you, all those months ago?" Rey asked, looking up into his soft, brown eyes.
"Yes… 'not everything is as it seems'," he said. He remembered very well the day she revealed her secret connection with Kylo Ren to him. It scared him more than anything, that she was linked so closely to danger that way.
"Trust me, Finn—none of this will end well if he's taken from the light. We need him! And I'm so afraid the council is going to exile him and make this so much worse."
Finn weighed her words, trying to think of a way he could help. "Do you want me to try to talk to some people? See if we can't influence the council's decision?"
Rey's tear-filled eyes snapped up to meet his, wide and full of hope. "Oh my stars, would you? People won't even look at me, let alone listen… Just because I'm trying to help him."
Finn's heart sank. He was one of those people when Ren first arrived.
"I'll start talking to people. Then maybe we'll have a chance."
Rey squeezed Finn's large hand, immensely grateful for their friendship.
xx
Rey sat on a log bench on the edges of the ship yard, trying to find the motivation to eat her lunch. She hadn't heard anything from Finn yet regarding any support for Ben, and the meeting was approximately fourteen hours from now. Time was slipping away from her.
"Hey!" A cheery voice called out from behind Rey. "Mind if I join you?" Rose asked, taking a seat on the log next to Rey. Her fatigues were dirty from repairing a ship. The need for peak operating vessels skyrocketed once rumors started swirling that another assault would be underway soon.
"Hey Rose. I'm fine. Trying to keep it together." Rey scooted over to share the log, secretly glad for the company.
Rose pulled out her lunch too, unwrapping a sandwich and setting it on her lap. She took a deep breath before looking over at Rey, who could sense something was wearing at her.
"I want you to know Finn talked to me," Rose began, her voice had a bit of an edge to it now. "And, ever since my sister died in the battle against the Siege Dreadnought, I've been so blinded by my anger. Sometimes I would fail to see the forest for the trees, you know? And in those moments, I've learned, I am cut off from reasoning."
"What are you telling me, Rose?" Uncertainty filled Rey's being, hoping she wasn't about to lose a friend.
Rose smiled, slipping her hand into Rey's. "You're the voice of reason we've been ignoring. I'm so sorry."
Rey was surprised—she wasn't expecting that.
"I don't know… him… like you do. But, from what I understand, he's not the same person he once was. And everyone deserves a second chance. What matters is what they do with that chance."
Rey's eyes stung with tears again, relieved by her friend's kindness. She was grateful for the support. "Thank you, Rose."
"I just hope he's not going to end up like that piece of shit codebreaker. He nearly got us all killed," said Rose firmly. Rey wasn't very familiar with what happened between Finn, Rose, and the codebreaker a year ago. Finn wasn't very forthcoming with details, but she knew it had been a very bad situation from start to finish.
"He won't… I promise."
Rose nodded and released Rey's hand, settling in to eat her lunch.
"Now, speaking girl-to-girl here…" Rose started, wiping her mouth with her sleeve. Her voice had lowered to a whisper as she leaned in, "Was he worth it?"
Rey blinked, confused by her friend's question. "Of course he was…?"
"You know what I mean, was he worth it?" Rose asked again, grinning. "Oh c'mon, it's written all over both of you! Men are sometimes a little slow on the draw, but a couple of us girls already figured it out," she said matter-of-factly.
Rey raised a hand to cover a faded mark that Ben's teeth had left on her neck the night before. The gesture gave her away, but she finally understood, somewhat shocked that Rose the mechanic was asking her details about intimate affairs between her and Ben that were supposed to be absolutely secret. Did everyone at base know? Rey grew paranoid that they weren't being discreet enough. If anything, it was her own fault, but it seemed there was little more she could do to keep it secret now. At this point, she might as well embrace it—and let the whole galaxy know—Ben Solo belonged to her.
"I dunno, Rose. Was Finn worth it?" Rey fired back, finally taking a huge bite out of her own sandwich.
Together, the girls smirked into their sandwiches, eyeing each other playfully before breaking out into laughter.
xx
The next morning, the small family unit stood in the hallway together before entering the meeting that would decide his fate. Ben was visibly anxious, keeping his trembling hands in his pockets to keep anyone from seeing the effects today's events were having on him. Ben was dressed in his slick new threads, trying to banish the old image of himself in favor of something new. At her bidding, he'd let Rey brush his wild hair this morning, enjoying the calming, tingling sensation her hands provided as they tamed his unruly, black locks.
"What if they decide to cage me up for good? Or send me into exile?" Ben had asked that morning while they were still in her quarters, preparing to appear before the council, "What if they only see the darkness?"
"People are only going to see what they're looking for…" Rey had responded, trying to comfort him. "So, don't let them see what you don't want them to."
Leia stood facing the pair, proud of them both for having made it this far. She glanced up into her son's dark eyes, much like her own, and gave him a reassuring squeeze of the hand before opening the doors. Rey wasn't as anxious anymore, now that she knew there was some level of support for Ben spreading through the ranks, but desperately wanted this meeting to go well. She squeezed his other hand before departing his side for her seat next to Leia, watching as he took center stage in the amphitheater. Rey sent positive vibes his way, trying to help him stay calm. At least today, no one was heckling him into a rage. A small victory.
The council stood in a semi-circle around the holoviewer, awaiting him to join them. There, they would discuss his recent actions, and his value to the Rebels, considering his lineage and his proof of repentance. He still had yet to fully prove himself, particularly in battle against the First Order, where many held the opinion, his actions would prove most decisively.
Leia sat next to Rey, clutching the young woman's hand tight as they listened to the council deliberate. She had done all that she could to spare him from their negative judgement, having had many individual discussions with each council member to try to explain everything. Many had listened with open minds and hearts, willing to hear the pleas of their legendary leader for her son's life. But Kylo Ren's crimes against the galaxy weighed heavy, and out of his favor. It would require a great deal of effort from the boy to redeem himself now.
After an hour of discussion with Ben in the hot seat, the council dismissed him from chambers to deliberate his fate. As a member of the council, Leia remained, but Rey stood and followed Ben out, escorted by two armed guards. They waited in an antechamber while the council deliberated. The room was small with an oval table and several chairs surrounding it. The lighting was dim because of the active holoviewer on the table, showing various planets and trajectories across the stars. Two guards remained in the room with Ben and Rey, making the dyad feel uncomfortable showing any affection for each other. At least they could still communicate without the guards knowing.
How are you? Rey asked Ben through the force, mindful of the watching guards.
I'm fine. He answered, but Rey knew better, sensing the chaotic energy within him. Half his face was awash in blue light from the holoviewer while the other half was cast in shadow, reminding her of the inner darkness he still fought against.
You did wonderfully in there, Rey said trying to convey her feelings of relief and gratitude that he was able to keep it together this time. Ben looked down, scoffing at her remark.
"Bless you," said one of the guards unexpectedly, misinterpreting the sound Ben made as a sneeze.
Together they looked slowly over at the guard. Rey had to keep herself from busting into laughter as Ben kindly replied, "thank you."
Ben rested his arm on the table, fingers angled towards Rey's elbow. I wish I could touch you, he said as Rey could feel his desires wrap around her like a blanket.
Rey allowed a small smile to spread across her lips, looking intently into his dark, fiery eyes. He looked like a man on the edge, aware of the executioner's axe looming near. But his mouth showed the telltale signs she'd learned to pick up; he was smiling because she wanted to see it. But it was a mask hiding the fear within.
Soon.
xx
The council had concluded their deliberations, and called Ben back into chambers. The entire room was charged with anticipation as the pair returned. The council had reached a decision at last. The guards had returned with him from the antechamber without any fuss. He was proving himself cooperative so far.
The council lectured him further about duty and the differences between right and wrong, the dark and the light. Ben stood patiently as he was addressed, feeling very much like a child being scolded again. He was often scolded by his parents, who at times, didn't know what to do with him, believing he was a monster. Ben was used to the disappointment. But here, he did not sense any of that.
"As we speak, General Calrissian is headed to Ajan Kloss with a garrison of fighters. We will be launching an offense against the First Order on their territory in one week's time. This will be a major offense and we are asking you, Ben Solo, son of General Organa and Han Solo, to participate. This will determine the veracity your allegiance and every Rebel will be watching your every move. Are you prepared to defend what you are claiming to protect?"
Ben didn't hesitate. His response was swift and militant, dedicated to proving himself. "Yes, I'm prepared."
xx