"Our life is what our thoughts make it" Marcus Aurelius

As Nidaime-sama wrote good shinobi is not being emotionless, because no one could be. Is that because not recognizing feelings and emotions may lead to a breakdown. Good shinobi is hiding their feelings and emotion from everyone but recognizes them.

Sakura day by day is getting better at this, she tried to make a mental space during her meditation. Well, daily meditation is helping to keep concentrate and calm down violent emotions, but it would be something more. Sakura's read and reading something every day as long as she could remember but since she understood how important is knowledge. There aren't many books in the library about psychology, in a pre-genin section of course, but she spends a lot of time with Ino to know some more about this subject. When she read a book that mentioned about mental space she wanted to try it by herself. There is a reason why.

Good shinobi is hiding their emotions, that is true, but good kunoichi is using them.

Silence in class is overwhelming. Mizuki is stand in front of the whole class and he is just looking at class. Even Naruto and Kiba are serious and they do not say anything because of shock while they are looking at teacher with wide-open eyes. Mizuki closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Instead, Sakura's eyes are wide open too, her right hand is laying on her month and she is freeze. Her reaction doesn't stand out from the class and no one will not think about Sakura later when that day will be mentioned.

"One of you did it, did you?" He said it softly. He wiped his face with his sleeve. His face with blood. Dye imitating blood to be precise but very similar to blood. Sakura knew it because she made it.

Sakura is scared but no for the same reason what others. She made a prank on Mizuki-sensei to test him. She was so foolish if she was not sure he works against village orphans and civilians she should be told about her fears to Iruka or Daikoku-sensei. She would go even to Hokage is she wanted to but no, she tried checked it by herself. At least Sakura did it for her future comrades.

"Mizuki liked us. He was proud of us when we were getting stronger. He gave a piece of advice. He was seeing us like we are. Maybe if these other children were better he would help them. Like me. It may be their fault at least"

Shinobi must always put the good of the village ahead of his own, it is shinobi rule number two. So Sakura cannot ignore Mizuki actions. Even he is one that truly sees Sakura. It's a shinobi way of doing things, Sakura knows if she told someone about Mizuki actions she would be ignored or accused of treason. At least Mizuki is trusted shinobi who fought for Konoha back there. Sakura is just a civilian girl who might be the daughter of genin and tokubetsu-jonin, but she is not one. Her parents might be in trouble if she told that Mizuki is traitor without any proof except her words. As future shinobi, she has to protect Konohagakure in every way and she could not make its traditional way. Sakura did well.

The plan was easy, mostly. Well, at least Sakura was planning it for two weeks only because she has to remember by herself all pranks she saw in the academy. Which one was successful, which was not. Which teachers knew by whose it was done, which was not. What kind of people do most pranks and who is the best prankster?

It took her the most of the first week. Next, she planned when it has to be, who must be around and how not to be caught.

For first, she decided, Mizuki must be with another sensei, so she planned that prank at chakra lessons on Thursday, when it is necessary being with both teachers to keep an eye on students. It's necessary because in class is their thirty-three and misuse of the chakra can lead to illness, disability or death. Especially with young, developing coils. These lessons are three times a week, but only on Thursday Mizuki-sensei is first in the classroom. Is that because it's first lesson Iruka-sensei that day, all night he is at the mission desk and he has little time between the end of one shift and the beginning of the other.

The classroom has two doors. One that is using the most because is closer to the entrance and as you enter through it, you are at the back of the classroom. The second one is next to the teacher's desk. Mizuki-sensei came in through the door next to his desk every Thursday because he is coming from another class.

She planned to fasten two buckets under the ceiling that was filled with dye imitating blood. Buckets painted in the colour of the ceiling were mounted in a place where Mizuki is turned back when he enters.

To avoid catching someone else in the trap, Sakura was holding the thin line, that was used in install, in hand.

On the blackboard, she wrote "Village traitor" by colourless liquid and is shown when the paint has spilt. On the teacher desk, she put a scroll with the Mizuki's activities described.

When he crossed the door Sakura she let go of the line.

The room looks a little macabre now like she wanted to be because when Iruka-sensei came and saw it he released them home earlier.

Mizuki never returned and Furihata-sensei took his place, they never told them why. After two weeks, this was hardly discussed and Everything's back to normal and Sakura breathed a sigh of relief. She regrets it, but no.

Shikamaru knows why Mizuki didn't come back his father told him, Mizuki truly was traitor. Old man forbade him to tell anyone so he does not do it. Shikamaru has nothing to deal with it. Instead, he looking at Ino.

Shikamaru huffs "What's wrong Ino?" Ino eyes widening the whole her body stiffened.

She turned to and finally looks at Shikamaru.

"Why do you think something is wrong?" Precious, she analyses him right now. Shikamaru knew he should not ask, she will be more demanding.

"You think too loud. That's why" Shikamaru huffs again. She is sometimes so obviously.

"How is possible thinking loud?!" He is shrugging.

Everyone would be thinking she is peaceful today but he knows her too long. She is annoying and bossy. She wants to has control at everything so since she did not yell at him because of his sleeping in class, and of course, she did not say anything to him all break. It was too quiet, so when it is quiet her mind is too loud. Yeah, he wanted to ignore it but if she gets sad today his mother would kill him. At least they going to Nara house after school. His mother is terrifying when she is mad and will be mad because she knows Shikamaru knew something about that and did not anything.

Lastly, she stopped analyse his words "Well, I'll tell you. Don't laugh, fine?" looking deep into his eyes is a way to find his agreement. " Today is the second march. Sakura's birthday is twenty-eighth. So I've less than four weeks to find her a present." Shikamaru raised an eyebrow and tilted his head in a silent question. Ino bit her lip and nonchalantly avoided his eyes. She had not been so sensitive in front of him for a long time it is unusual. He moved uncomfortably and by himself began to avoid her eyes. He cannot handle such obvious feelings well but Ino finally started talking before it got too awkward.

"On my last birthday, she gave me a handmade kanzashi with blue periwinkles. I was… touched. She knew I needed a blue one for my kimono. I have to wear that kimono in the evening on my birthday but I haven't one fitting hair comb and she made one by herself. "

"What're periwinkles means?"

"Blue periwinkles one of the meanings is a symbol of achieving great things in life. That birthday I was to be officially the heir to the clan if you remembered."

Of course, Shikamaru remember. Ino's cousin, who was second potential heir next to Ino, died.

In Yamanaka Clan head of the clan is chosen in "main" family. There some traditions and genetics reasons why is that but Shikamaru not often thinks about that. The short version, however, is that when each of the potential heirs turns eleven years old Yamanaka's eldest decided who deserved the most to became future Head of a clan. In this generation were three of them. Ino who is the daughter of Clan Had and two sons Inoichi's younger brother, Inomaru. It was Akihiko and Fuu. First who's gone was younger Fuu. He and Ino were not close to each other but someday he just disappeared. No one of grown-ups tells them why. In fact, it leaves Ino and Akihiko. Akihiko was fourteen years old when he died on a mission. It leaves only Ino a few days before she turned ten. Ino did not go well at how she became an heir. No one did. Of course, she wanted to become one but showing that by her actions not losing her cousins.

Becoming an heir of the clan is different in Choji's Clan or his own. Akimichi are a noble clan and inherit their eldest son of the head of the clan so Choji is heir since he was born. Shikamaru is not an heir of the clan yet. He has to be alive until he turned fifteen and chuunin then he became heir of clan. Of course, if none of his cousins turn out to be better for that role by then and if there are no unforeseen circumstances.

Ino was not happy, but they're only Sakura could make feel her better with one gift. She is such a good friend for Ino.

"Aren't Sakura likes to train?" Shikamaru asked while he laying down. He looked at the sky to think. Obviously, Ino wants to get Sakura something special like that kanzashi. Ino nodded. "Choji said she got confidence since she's in the academy. She's polite but confident." Shikamaru heard Ino's sigh.

"She does. I… always knew she would bloom into a beautiful flower." She said softly. Shikamaru agrees. She changed. This is intriguing, but I think her change is good. Ino suddenly jumped.

"I know! I'll make her kanzashi too but for a fight!" Ino sounds overexcited. Shikamaru felt himself starting to smile. It would work.

- And it worked because Sakura's eyes shining and her smile was trembling when she got that gift.

Sakura's ten birthday was not huge like Ino's was.

She was celebrating it with her parents as always, with Ino like for the last three years and first time with Choji and Shikamaru. Sakura did not show her happiness loud. She smiled politely and thanked for coming. Mebuki was worried for a while. She saw Sakura's change in the short year. From a shy, delicate girl who would be a beautiful lady in the future, who has a chance to live safety and happy as a civilian compared to her. When Mebuki was in her age she dreamed to be a civilian but there was a war and she knew she must help protecting Konoha, she could not be a coward, many of her friends become shinobi at least. Now is peace, why Sakura looks like she preparing for war more than ever Mebuki did?

"It's my daughter Kizashi," she said and her eyes were sad while she was looking at kids in the living room. They were playing a board game based on the First Shinobi War battle. Girl against boys. Her husband just smiled.

"She found goal honey. She'll be fine" Mebuki looks into his eyes and believe. Maybe Sakura is not like her mother, maybe she got more from her father. She maybe someone better than she ever was.

Yes, she won't be shinobi wannabe like her mother, who through the wars she never got rid of her reluctance to fight, who cares too much about opinions of others. Mebuki is not fitting to civilian life like lady, this is always reminded of her by the great scar on her back acquired in the enemy trap and her nightmares.

Sakura won't be like that. Sakura is meant for something more.

Sakura wears black kanono dome with cherry blossom flower on it since her ten birthday. It is stuck in bum along with the braided red ribbon in braids. Sakura thinks she has good hairstyle for kunoichi. Like Ino said it's looks pretty, Sakura likes it because is comfortable and practical. As future kunoichi, she knows she probably will be underestimated in fights. Suzume-sensei said girls had to play on it to gain an advantage.

One way is hiding their muscles under clothes. Muscles would show how good your taijutsu level is. Some people would know your specialization just looking at your body and posture. Woman are not biologically strong like men that is why there are more men in frontline divisions but woman are better in infiltration, sabotage or homicide but even female who's heavy hitter was been taught how to disappear in the crowd. The woman mostly is naturally to change their self between being on a mission, and in a village. If kunoichi doesn't want to be acknowledged as one, she won't be instead of most male shinobi that even civilians know they are a warrior. In aura, posture, tics.

Sakura knows she is good at taijutsu as many boys in the class and she decided to be better than everyone before she ends the academy. As Suzume-sensei said when she cares about her appearance many people thinks she does not care about the train, it's so-called stereotyping. Funny is that Iruka-sensei or Furihata-sensei unknowingly think so too, when they choose to spar partners and partners in survival games.

'We're not close to class' Inner was amazed. It is not important at all. Yes, they all will be Sakura's commanders and if she wants to be strong enough to fight next to them all she must be professional around. She is not talking with them a lot. Mostly if any project needs to be made with someone else then of course. Most of these time she doing them with Ino, Shikamaru and Choji.

Right now they all are on one of survival training. Sensei decided to choose the pair himself. He said they had to try to cooperate with someone they were not close to. They have to 'survive' in the forest for thirty hours and find an object by clues hidden in the forest.

She has been paired with Kiba and girl did not except this.

"Ha! Akamaru looks, we absolutely gonna win it!" Sakura was looking at how Kiba reviews his backpack last time before they will end in the middle of the forest.

She does not like to be a leader. Of course, if she has to she will. Sakura really may do it right now. She looks at her partners for next thirty hours and smiled gentle.

"Kiba, Akamaru, what about planning how we'll be doing?" They turned their heads and look curious. At Kiba face were goofy smile in response to her one. She's been practicing this smile for two months, obviously it's perfect, he should not see it fake one. Her eyes are wrinkled and the corners of her mouth are slightly raised.

"You're smart, are you?" his rough voice and tremor in the corner of the mouth said that he know it is fake smile. Her smile turn into politely one with slightly closed eyes.

"Am I?" she asked and pulled out a sheet of paper and a pen from her backpack. She could play on it. He seems not be intelligent as Ino or Shikamaru so she does not know how he could see what she doing. Before she thought he is direct, a bit stupid. She heard two Akamaru barking.

"We agree, let's plan it" another one bark.

"Ok then , I think for first we should find a place to camp, invisible at first glance, you know what kind of I thinking about?"

"Yeah, a understand. Iruka'll give us a tip but before we'll be thinking about this shit we have make camping place and all that jazz" he rolled his eyes and Akamaru sounds not impressive. Sakura slightly freeze and her smile diminished.

"Don't you agree?"

"I mean, of course, it's just obvious." He shrugging " I've been on a lot of this type survival games. My mom's often taking me on haunting and when we had to be there more than two days we always making a camp, right Akamaru?" One bark for agreed. There was a moment of silence while Kiba gave Akamaru a weird look. Sakura looks between them confused. Suddenly Akamaru starts barking again.

"You said so" Kiba sigh and looks at Sakura again. He's quiet for a while and rolled his eyes. "Ok, let's go"

Sakura felt her chest buzzing. She clenched her fists and teeth. "He's such an arrogant brat. How we have to work with him? We would do this game alone." Inner's yelling could make her a headache other times.

Sakura just couldn't care about it this time. Inner can say what she wants to because Kiba is an arrogant brat but Sakura has to be professional. This game is like a mission. She can't fail it even with Kiba. He could be useful if Sakura uses him properly.

But it didn't work. He's had a different view, so she had. He has instinct she has a mind. It didn't work how it ought to be. But why?

"You two failed" Teacher said and gone.

They were looking at the teacher's walking away. Sakura's thinking it's surrealistic like her all body is empty. Like she didn't use any chakra but she hasn't got it anymore. She failed.

"Are you serious?! We failed! You were stupid 'cause you thought I can't think by myself!" Kiba yelling.

"What big words come from you" she whispers while looking at teacher's back. She failed only because Kiba wasn't doing what she said. It is his fault, not her.

"You think only because I don't read every book a see am I stupid!" he grabs her shoulders and made eye contact.

"Yes! You an arrogant, dirty, stupid, stupid boy! You couldn't even listen to what I say, and why? Only because I'm a girl!"

"If you only didn't that much interested in your clothes and train a little bit I'd care about your opinion!" Sakura has felt the imitational punch. Her mind has turned red. The second thing she saw was Kiba on the ground with blood on his face. She wouldn't care even if she wants to.

"Shut your mouth! Does that punch felt like from someone who wasn't training every day until making up a mind to do a one-step is feel like the hardest thing in the whole life?!" Kiba's face turned to red. When Sakura is thinking about it a years after, she thing his eyes became wild and it opens her covered instinct. So she punched him again. Kiba wasn't idle. He punched her back.

In that fight were a lot of aggression, there's none of reminding of official sparing. Teeth were sharp. Blood felt sweet at tongue.

The eyes were watering from dirt in them. Nails has been in the skin and made it red. They have lost a lot of hair. And pain. The pain was in their bodies, but the one what is the most painful is their lost pride.

"I hate you"

"So am I"

Years, years after that, when they are standing next to each other and looking in the death eyes with a crack smile, lack of pride isn't wrong.

"I think I started to respect you on that day."

"So am I"