Author's note: Thank you for sticking with the story so far. I hope you enjoy the beginnings of the end! I've been struggling with how to best wrap up this story, so if this chapter disappoints, I humbly apologize in advance. xx
Field of Vision
Chapter Seventeen
The humid jungle air was thicker than ever and charged with the gut-twisting anticipation of battle. Lingering smoke from lightsaber-struck fires in the Jedi training course had drifted with the wind and infiltrated the ship yard, leaving a pervasive haze that looked like the Rebels had already engaged in the fray. A squadron of X-Wing fighters began a launch sequence before the command ships were even filled with their leaders. One by one, the ship yard emptied, leaving the ones still remaining on the planet's surface with the burdensome knowledge that they had finally passed the point of no return.
Filled with hope at the sight of her loyal troops departing for the final battle without hesitation, Leia blessed them all; may the Force be with you. Vessel after vessel departed in orchestrated obedience and bravery to answer the call. Prior to the Battle of Crait, so few fighters and command ships were left intact after their series of run-ins with First Order battleships. Afterwards, their numbers and assets had greatly been diminished, but not entirely. And yet, after a painfully delayed response, the galaxy, it seems, had finally heard their plea for assistance and responded in droves greater than any Rebel general could have imagined. Lando's presence had confirmed that, let alone the thousands of communications her base had received over the span of a few weeks' time.
Rumors had spread that a Rebel victory was no longer a dream, but a fighting chance, and it came in the shape of her only son. Even beyond the First Order's attempts to keep the knowledge a secret, the galaxy now knew Supreme Leader Snoke was dead, and the fearsome dark acolyte that once replaced him, had turned.
So few others knew about Rey, but Leia could feel the knowledge through the Force as surely as she could see her own two hands held out in front of her, that the orphan girl from Jakku would prove essential to balancing the equation to victory. The pairing of Ben and Rey created a dyad balance in the Force so vital to success, that their mutual survival was crucial. And Leia knew she would do anything in her power to keep them both alive.
xx
The dyad didn't have enough time to properly wash up after their antics that morning, but in order to prevent completely smelling like a smoldering fire on board the air-tight environment of the Falcon, Ben at least needed to change his clothes.
Rey sat on their bed with her arms wrapped around her knees, silently watching as he undressed and changed into the sleek outfit his mother had gifted him on Chandrila.
"Admiring the view?" Ben asked somewhat smugly as he pulled on the clean, cream-colored shirt and began to tuck the edges into his pants.
Rey's smile was feeble as she rested her cheek against her knee, quietly blinking tears out of her eyes.
The instant Ben noticed, something visceral snapped to attention within him. Compelled by forces that were not entirely his own, Ben swept down by her side and gathered her folded form into his arms.
Rey's tears were always an intimate performance with him, as he'd only ever seen them appear in the pinnacle moment of a mistake he didn't realize he was making until it was too late. Confused by the sight of her tears and unexpected display of fragility, he desperately hoped he hadn't committed yet another mistake.
Ben sheltered her against his chest, reaching through the Force to comfort her without his clumsy words. Unlike the first time they met as enemies, she allowed him in without any resistance now. Rey shared her thoughts with him, ever full of hope and anticipation. Their intimate exchange was big and full of emotion and something neither could express with words alone. She didn't think it was possible to feel more, yet here she was, in the arms of the man who loves her, feeling like she's choking on feelings too big to hold inside.
It was then, Ben realized he was wrong. She wasn't fragile, not exactly. Perhaps vulnerable, as they've always been around each other, but not fragile. Just human. She was a strong-willed survivor, and always so selflessly kind despite the awful circumstances she came from.
As they sat entwined with one another, Ben was reminded of how much Light she carried with her. They were on the verge of going to war; he reminded himself. These were normal feelings to have. There wasn't anything he had done—no mistake that needed mending—she just needed the chance to be human before facing the overwhelming odds of battle.
While Rey was full of hope and light, he'd spent a lifetime trying to hide his humanity in darkness; suppress it and turn himself into something he was never going to be. He sometimes forgot what it was like to be human, and Rey was simply reminding him. It was a reminder of how far he still had to go.
"You're no monster," she said, reading him in that moment.
"And you're not weak," he answered firmly.
She smiled a little bit wider as he slowly released his arms, allowing her to unfold.
"You're a right terror though… but, you're mine," she said, taking hold of his hand and entwining their fingers together.
But her smiled faltered again as her eyes focused like a laser beam on his mouth despite her own lips trembling. This temporary boost of confidence was built on shaky ground. "Whatever happens next,"
"Don't be afraid," he said firmly yet encouragingly; as much to himself as much as it was for her. "I—I'm not going anywhere."
Rey tried, but needed one more vice indulged before she wrapped herself up in survival mode again.
Kiss me like you did our last morning on Chandrila.
Rey was incapable of uttering her request out loud, too afraid of what he would think if she had simply said it.
Without hesitation, Ben reached down to kiss her. His hands held fast to either side of her neck while he kissed her mouth, cherishing the softness of her lips against his, but then brushed down the pillars of her arms to draw her closer into him. Rey responded by molding herself to him, clutching onto him like a lifeline. By the Maker, he didn't want this to be the last time they shared a kiss, but if it was, he needed to give her what she wanted.
He nudged her to lean backwards, holding her steady as they lay mirrored to each other on the bed. He tucked a knee in between her legs for support, never ceasing in his kisses. While the heat began to grow like brushfire between them, he gently took her wrists and pinned them overhead. But a sudden, sharp rapping on their door interrupted them, making them jump and separate. Rey smiled secretly because if only for a moment, Ben had made her forget her troubles. They heard Poe's urgent voice calling for them on the other side. It was time to go.
"C'mon," said Ben encouragingly, the smile lines deepening on either side of his lips. He looked like he could take on the entire First Order single-handedly. "Let's end this. Together."
xx
Leia and Lando met near the Falcon, where she was waiting for the last of her crew to load up. The two generals would depart on separate vessels, and thereby maintain greater chances of Rebel leadership's survival during the fray. Feeling a twinge of nostalgia from times long ago, Leia took Lando's hands in her own while keeping her head held high like the war-tested general she knew she was, and wished him good luck.
"May the Force be with you," she said, well-versed in goodbyes.
Lando leaned down and pressed a grateful kiss to her cheek, and wished her luck as well.
"May the Force be with you, Princess."
Then, Lando departed, headed for his own ship with the former stormtroopers in tow. He would lead them into battle as the distraction while Leia and the retrieval team took the much faster ship to collect Hux from the Finalizer. There was no room left in her spirit for anxiety; there was no room left at all beyond the hope that she felt and the sheer determination required to get through this. As she watched her son and the girl from Jakku emerge side by side into the hazy ship yard, she was reminded of what she was fighting for.
xx
"Hey!" Finn called to Rose as he hurried over, blaster rifle slung across his back. "Got a second?"
Anxiously fidgeting with the last set of bolts, Rose looked up from her task of repairing a Y-Wing's landing gear. She set her wrench down tersely and wiped her grease-smeared hands on a rag. "Of course."
Finn made like he was going to reach for her arm, but stilled his hand, unsure.
"I wanted to wish you luck before I left. We'll be heading out on the Falcon…" he waited patiently for her to meet his own anxious eyes. "I wish you were coming with us," admitted Finn with a soft voice.
Rose's cheeks flushed a bit under the dark smears of grease and dirt. Her heart ached today, knowing there was a real chance she'd never see any of her friends again. She had to shake off the dark and saddening memories of the last time she felt this anxious, reminding herself that this time there was real hope.
"Last time I exchanged goodbyes like this… it was with my sister before the battle of D'Qar," said Rose.
She was visibly distressed, wringing her hands as she spoke and avoided looking at Finn entirely.
"And that's when I lost her," Rose whispered, trying and failing to keep her tears from falling down her cheeks.
Upon seeing her tears, Finn felt bad and swept closer to her, pulling Rose into his embrace.
"S-stop, I'm covered in dirt," she protested, blushing furiously as he held her tight to his chest. His thick arms wrapped around and pressed her close to let her know he didn't care about any of that.
Finn didn't wait for anymore of her polite protests before he took her round, sweet face in between his big hands and pulled her in for an overdue kiss. Rose quit squirming with the tender contact, slackening her tense stance in his arms as he pressed the kiss deeper.
Rose hummed her surprise and delight in the kiss, eliminating any remaining space between them.
Stupid, he thought to himself; he should have done this sooner, and more often.
xx
The Falcon stood tall among the rapidly emptying shipyard of X-Wings and other fighter vessels. Steam rose from the exhaust ports of the ship while colorful lights on the fuselage blinked behind the thick and hazy smoke. The last remaining Droids and pilots alike flitted to and fro in between ships until they reached their designated vessels and threw themselves in, committed to their position in the final mission.
Ben and Rey made their way through the ship yard until they reached the entry ramp of the Falcon, staring up together at the vessel that meant so much to the both of them. For Ben, it was his father's legacy embodied, and a reminder of better days. For Rey, it meant freedom.
Rey stole a quick glance at Ben, watching as he held his head high, and trekked up the narrow entry ramp. His jaw was set and his fists were clenched tight; the whiteness of bone gleaming over rounded knuckles. Quietly, Rey followed. Where he was tense, she was calm. And when she spoke, he remained silent.
xx
The normal chaos of any mission aboard the Millennium Falcon with the rag tag group of rebels Rey had come to love was completely absent. The Falcon's skeleton crew kept their wits on lockdown as they sped off towards the rendezvous coordinates for their infiltration mission aboard the Finalizer. Poe and Chewie piloted while Rey and the others made preparations for the mission. Eventually left without anything significant to do, Ben sat down at the holochess table and tried to be patient. An eerie quiet settled aboard, bringing every little sound and gesture into focus.
A few other crew members were still making themselves busy, moving equipment around and traveling between the cockpit and the rest of the ship. But the lack of conflict and the crew's ongoing activity was making Ben restless. He began to pace back and forth, but realized from experience that this was just going to drain him and returned to his seat at the holochess table and waited for Rey. Just then, Klaud, Finn, and a couple other crew members breezed into the main hold to gather a few more tools and supplies.
"Hey man," said Finn as he came into the hold.
Ben raised his dark eyes to Finn; somewhat surprised to find the former stormtrooper talking to him.
"Hey."
They glanced at each other for a brief moment of recognition and solidarity before they realized Klaud and the others had left as quickly as they had arrived, leaving the two completely alone with each other.
And there was no social buffer.
A wave of awkwardness enveloped the former pawns of the First Order; they shifted their stances and continued to look anywhere but at each other. Without understanding how or why, a small, yet powerful feeling urged Finn to remain where he stood and wait.
Trying not to dwell on past acts of violence committed against each other and the massive scar that ran up his back, Finn suddenly found a piece of broken hardware poking out of the hull incredibly fascinating.
Ben cleared his throat and refastened his boot straps. It seemed the stormtrooper wasn't going anywhere any time soon.
"You run out of things to do?" Ben asked, attempting to break the ice.
"Yeah, just… I-I'm waiting now," Finn answered clumsily.
"…me too."
While the waves of situational awkwardness passed, Ben sensed a powerful desire for the company of Rey emanate from the man standing across him. It mirrored his own desire for a presence as calm and as leveling as hers to be inserted between them. But, Ben believed he could finally understand the man. He did the only thing he could think of to make this situation less awkward; he continued to search for common ground.
"How long have you known Rey?" Ben asked politely.
Finn shrugged while continuing to fiddle with the broken piece of hardware sticking out of the hull. "I met Rey on Jakku while escaping the First Order… So, a little longer than you have, I guess."
"Right…"
His first attempt at a decent conversation took a nose dive, reminding them of their past entanglements. But, after a moment, he gathered enough courage to try again.
"What's… your favorite thing about her?"
He surprised even himself by asking such an intimate question of a former enemy, now a complete stranger. But the stranger just smiled, turning his attention to Ben once more. His warm brown eyes softened as he thought about his answer.
"She's the kindest person I've ever met…" Finn trailed off, trying to find the best answer.
Ben waited patiently, sensing a shift in the air between them.
Finn furrowed his brow with a pained look in his eye, like he was remembering something unpleasant. "I shouldn't have to tell you… since you already know… But, I didn't grow up with a family, or even a name. Instead, I grew up with strict rules and a harsh set of consequences. I grew up on a battle station; groomed to be cannon fodder in service of the First Order. I was nothing more than a number; FN-2187." Finn paused, silently reflecting on things he wished he didn't have to think about anymore.
Ben sat quietly, listening to Finn's words with the stillness of stone about him.
"I was a nobody—until I met Rey. The day I met her was the day my life changed."
Shyly, Ben smiled, feeling a kinship with the stranger already. He completely agreed with Finn, but was ashamed to admit his first encounter with Rey was vastly different from Finn's, though no less life-changing.
"My favorite thing about Rey?" Finn echoed warmly as he crossed his arms and stood confidently across the small space. "She's resilient. She'll never give up on you because she knows what it's like to be given up on—and she doesn't want that for anybody else."
Ben lowered his eyes to stare into nothingness as he processed what Finn was telling him.
"Even though for a long time, everyone else had… I'm sorry I didn't trust you after you came to Ajan Kloss. All I ever knew about you was fear— you could kill any of us if you wanted to—even after you turned… And that's a hard thing to forget sometimes."
Ben straightened up and walked a few, brief steps towards Finn. His shy smile had faded into seriousness again; almost reminiscent of his former self.
"You have nothing to fear from me now. And, I'm sorry, too." said Ben humbly before reaching out his right hand and stared Finn squarely in the eye. He tried his best not to be intimidating, but wanted to convey his commitment to this cause. Rey's cause.
Slowly, Finn reached out and firmly clasped hands with Ben, seeking reconciliation. A debonaire smile graced Finn's features just as it reflected on Ben's.
"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to wreck havoc on those bucket heads," said Finn.
An unshakeable alliance had just been forged between the two and they couldn't wait to reach the Finalizer now.
xx
Dozens of minuscule lights flashed and alarms beeped in the cockpit as the Falcon dropped out of light speed and began its route to the Rebel rendezvous. A standard First Order shuttle had been confiscated by Resistance forces recently and was about to be used as cover for their infiltration mission into the Finalizer.
"Alright, Chewie, keep her hot for me," called Poe as he clambered out of the cockpit and into the main hold. "We don't have long, guys, let's go!"
Rey and Ben were already waiting in the cargo bay for the rest of the retrieval team by the time the Falcon exited light speed. Finn and Poe were followed by Leia as the Falcon docked to the First Order shuttle for transfer.
Everyone looked to Leia before it was time to leave. She held her head high and stared sharply at each of them the way a general surveys her troops; they were all so young, but she knew without a doubt they were ready for this.
"Get in and out without drawing the entire ship's attention on yourselves, even though we all know it's bound to happen," she said sternly at Poe and Finn. They nodded in reluctant agreement.
"Stick with your partners. Ben and Rey; you're the distraction. Once they find you, they're going to want to take you down. Keep them busy; toy with them, but don't get cocky."
Ben smirked as he stared down at his mother. A swell of pride filled Leia's spirit as she watched him grin like his scoundrel father and knew he had it under control.
"Poe and Finn, you're the infiltrators. Steal some trooper suits if you need to blend in—it works every time. Get Hux and bring him out alive—alive," Leia repeated as she noticed both Finn and Ben sucked their teeth in irritation. She knew how the boys felt about Hux, but it was too bad. They still owed it to the spy to get him out of there alive.
"Rey, trust your instincts. You can do this," said Leia encouragingly to the young girl.
With final exchanges made, the team exited the Falcon for the shuttle, ready to depart.
xx
As their stolen shuttle landed in one of the Finalizer's hangar bays, Ben had never done anything like this before in his entire life. Since he became Snoke's apprentice, he enjoyed nothing less than a grand and spectacular entrance on starships, saluted by squadrons of troopers and high ranking officers. Never before had he snuck or stowaway onto any ship, or infiltrate any sort of situation he wasn't already in control of. Today, he thought, would be no different.
"This is stupid. I'm just going to walk out. Besides, no one is going to notice right away. We have to strike first before those idiots notice anything."
"No, wait!" Rey hissed, grabbing him by his arm. "Wait until Finn and Poe get a head start."
Finn and Poe were all ready to go. Their blasters were drawn and together they looked like anxious racehorses being restrained behind the gate.
Ben stared flatly at Rey, whom he realized wasn't actually trying to delay the mission, just wasn't ready to be the center of attention yet. "Sweetheart, we are the head start."
"C'mon Rey, we're ready to go," said Poe impatiently, looking down at his chronometer. They didn't have a lot of time to begin with.
Finally, Rey sighed reluctantly and unlatched her lightsaber from her belt.
"Open the hatch," she said firmly to the Rebel gunny dressing in a First Order pilot's outfit waiting for orders nearby.
The Rebel gunny slammed his fist on the hatch release and the slow, mechanized descent of the ship's gang plank began. The gunny, Poe and Finn hung back in the shadows of the cargo hold while Ben and Rey stepped forward, ready to run.
Approaching the shuttle were two First Order officers and a small unit of troopers expecting to meet the shuttle's occupants and manifest on the other side.
It was a matter of seconds before they realized they'd been played.
xx