We've almost reached the almost finale of this tale. Some parts will be ***NSFW***. They are still working shit out, but shew these girls can passion. I'm now making that a verb. To Passion.

Thanks to everyone who commented nicely. It always feels good when someone likes your stuff. If you didn't then I don't know what to say. I won't say I'm sorry, because I like this story. I hope you can find something you do like. With as much content as there is out there then I'm sure there has to be something you like. Post it here and maybe I'll like it, too. :)

I was going to end it in this chapter, but it got way too long… I'm wordy. Th is in the next chapter so if that's not your thing you can end it here. :)

BTW th will be in a separate post for rating purposes.

This is a little bit like an episode of '24' only Rizzles style. It all takes place in a 24-48 hour time frame.

"In Case You Didn't Know by Brett Young" (this song for REAL makes me cry almost every time. Go listen to it. It's country, but the lyrics…oh the lyrics. They are the reason I started this story in the first place.) I had a good time writing it. I hope you like.

Have fun!

In Case You Didn't Know

6.

The two women ate their meals, comparing and sharing the dishes. "This is pasta con vongole e cozze. A personal favorite." It was linguine with clam sauce. The pasta was freshly made and the sauce was rich with flavor.

"Well, it all looks amazing. The bread is still warm. I think that I have the pesto alla genovese. I can only assume it's made with the special Casa de Isebella oil."

"Your assumption would be correct."

"It's so good. People in the states have no clue."

"It's fresh and not as heavily filtered. The olive taste comes through."

"Yeah, it does."

They ate while talking about the food and discussing Maura's friends. They talked about the location of her home and the benefits of the herbs that she grew. After a time the discussion turned to home and they talked of things that were happening back in Boston.

"So Frankie is really looking to advance quickly then. Well, he is almost as talented a detective as you were. He and Nina seem to be doing really well."

Jane smiled at the thought of the two people she loved almost as much as she loved Maura. "I don't think those two will ever get out of the honeymoon stage. They can be ridiculous and adorable. Man, is this sauce to die for!"

Maura laughed. "Yes. This is why it's my favorite. It's perfectly rich and savory. I'm glad that Frankie and Nina are so happy. They are, what did Luigi say the other day? Ah yea, relationship goals."

"Yeah." Jane didn't want to break the magic of the evening, but she figured now was as good a time as any to bring up the past. "Hey, Maur?"

Maura squinted slightly. That was Jane's detective voice. "yes….Jane."

"Can I… I uuuh."

"Have the felines lost your tongue?" She grinned knowing that it was wrong. She loved to watch Jane's face when she misspoke the simple terms that often so confused her.

"No, I haven't. And it's 'has the cat got your tongue.'" She wasn't watching Maura's face. If she had she would have seen the amusement cross her lips.

"Hum. Think about that for a moment. What on earth does that mean? I'm going to have to look that up to see. Anyway, what did you want to say? You have your detective voice working so you have something to ask me."

"I do."

"Well, then spit on it." She held a straight face by biting her cheeks.

"I assume that you mean spit it out." Maura shrugged. "What happened to you after Paris?"

Maura put a bite on her fork and spoke before she placed it in her mouth. "You mean besides the crying and the screaming?" She finished her bite. She had expected this and she hadn't really formulated an answer other than the typical emotional breakdown story.

"Yeah. Besides that." She wasn't going to apologize again and she could tell her dinner partner wasn't expecting it.

"After I wallowed for a couple of weeks in Paris, I flew back to Boston and put my house on the market. I talked to Angela about setting her up in her own townhome, which I did. I certainly didn't want her to be without a place."

"YOU? She said that she was making enough….."

"She was. Taking a saying from my family's sinister background, you could call it hush money, I suppose. I helped her a little and she did the rest. She couldn't tell you that I was selling. Well, she could have but she made a promise to me that she would never tell you anything. She said it wasn't her place and she honored that. The last thing I wanted was for you to find out. I wanted nothing more to do with you at that point."

"I'm sure. I didn't want anything to do with me either. Ma...she never even gave me a clue." Jane was truly surprised that her mother had kept something like this to herself.

"If there's one thing I know about your mother, she keeps a promise like no other. I honor that about her. She's one person, besides you of course, I truly regret leaving behind. When I left again, I did tell her that I was going for good. She and I cried many tears that night. She was my mother and I was leaving her." Maura started to tear up. "I miss her very much."

"Maur, you should call her. She was so sad for a long time. I think she's still grieving."

"Not yet. Let's you and I fix our situation first. Then we will see about building new bridges after that." She continued with her story, "When I left Boston that was it. I gave an official letter of resignation even though I had called the governor well before to let him know."

"And not a single soul told me."

"I asked them not to. I didn't want you to know anything more about me. At least I didn't at the time.

"But you do now?"

"This is my story. Questions when we are done."

"Yeah. Okay. I'm sorry."

"After I put my house on the market and gave notice. I boarded the foundation's plane and flew to the family home. While I was there I shut off my phone and opted out of having one for a while. I vacated all of my social media accounts and became as invisible as I could. I then created a totally new persona. Traveled Europe. Slept around."

"By sleeping around you mean…."

"Yes. I imbibed a great deal of alcohol and engaged in meaningless sex with people I had just met."

"That sounds dangerous and careless, Maur." Jane was surprised that Maura had any penchant like this behind her perfect facade.

"It was all protected. Well as protected as it could be in a drunken stupor. Listen, Jane, it's far past those days, and I'm quite aware of the risks I took. I did my best to mitigate the danger, but really, is it any different than my past experiences? I think not. We never really know people, do we?"

Jane understood the unexpressed point. "No, I don't suppose that we do."

"After my travels and sexcapades, as I've heard them described, I went back to Switzerland. I'm not sure that at the time that I had a plan, I only knew I needed to stop the spiral of self-destructive behavior.

"After I returned to my family home, I still had many emotional days. I wasn't numbing myself with alcohol and bodies any longer. I started to feel again. I had some good days, but the darkness continuously attempted to overwhelm me. I cried. I cried all the time. I would be working in the gardens and the tears would sneak up on me and I would end up on my knees sobbing for what seemed like no reason. My mother finally suggested that I talk to a friend of hers who happened to be a very good psychologist. I was at a point where it was necessary for me to talk. For my overall wellbeing I had to."

Jane didn't speak. She deeply felt all of the pain Maura had endured as a result of her actions. She wasn't accepting all of the blame for the upset, but she was a big factor in much of it. She had done to Maura the one thing she had promised that she wouldn't. She remained patient as Maura spoke.

"I spent about a month with her talking about my childhood. My teenage years and then….you. You well know that my childhood and formative years were basically a situation where I was raised by nannies and maids. I rarely saw my parents when I was very young and then, when I was old enough, we spent the summers traveling the world. Even then, I didn't spend time with them. My mother was constantly busy with her art and galleries. Arthur was either at a site discovering the past or lecturing about it religiously. He was always more interested in the past than he was the present which was right before him. I was with them, but they were not with me. But you know this story."

"I do, but I will still listen to it. It's important to you."

"Yes. It is. You see, I grew up in a place where many children didn't have parents available to them. We were what I call 'rich orphans'. Our parents were married to their careers, their hobbies or most often their money, and children were often an afterthought. We were born, or adopted, to be heirs. We were raised with everything that money can buy, except for love. Without love we often competed with each other for attention anywhere we could find it. I was not pulled into that type of behavior too very often because I was too busy burying myself in my books. I escaped into them. The fact that I was so awkward didn't help. If you think I'm difficult to understand now you should have seen me as a teenager. I couldn't understand how to fit in. The ability eluded me. I tried. I really tried. I took special instruction on how to associate with others. I had to practice for hours, literally learning how to deal with other humans. I still struggle."

"This part I didn't know."

"I don't talk about it. Ever. It's so embarrassing. I think about it and the shame comes bubbling up like a fountain."

"Why should you be ashamed? You are a wonderful, beautiful soul."

"But Jane, you….no I won't say that. Let me put it this way, being a beautiful wonderful soul doesn't guarantee internal happiness. Let me finish."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt."

"It's alright." She continued. "When I met you and you didn't balk at my quirky side and you didn't make much fun of my oddities and you included me in your circle, I finally knew. I finally knew in my heart what it meant to be loved. You shared with acceptance. You offered to me the one thing that all humans crave and need to be real humans. Then you shared your family with me and through them I learned how to receive and give love in return. I'm not very good with touching and hugging, but you and your family made me feel safe. I felt safe enough in that family to experiment and grow with touch and affection. And then…. I…. I did the thing you should never do with your friend. I fell in love. With you."

"Why didn't….never mind. We both know why."

"We do. The difference between you and me is I have been with women in the past. I've enjoyed short relationships with women. I am not positive, but I think that you have not."

Jane was not at all surprised by the admission. Maura loved sex. She was not shy or afraid of it. Of course she had been with women. It was completely natural for her. Jane realized that if she had enjoyed relationships it also meant that she was emotionally drawn to women. "No. I haven't. You're the only woman I've ever looked at more than once. It's only been you."

"Since I'm attracted to both men and women it was difficult for me, when it came to you, to separate the attraction from the emotion. I loved you as a friend and to say the least and you are profoundly attractive. Was I attracted to you? Yes, but not in a more than 'wow I'd tap that' kind of way." Jane laughed at the words that were so not like Maura and yet fit her perfectly in this situation. "Suffice it to say that, I noticed you were very good looking. Did I love you? Yes, as a friend. And then one day I looked at you, and like the saying goes, a light turned on, and you, my friend, became the object of my affection. I remember the day. I remember the time. I recall the way the sun shifted in colors on your skin. I will never forget the look in your eyes when you smiled at me. It wasn't any different than any other time you've smiled in my direction, but I saw you then. I saw everything about you that I loved and I felt my heart switch on."

"Maura."

"And then, Jane. Things happened. You left. Your heart and soul left me. I felt you slip away. It broke my heart as I felt you go. I knew what was happening, but I didn't have the courage or the understanding of how to stop it without revealing myself. I knew that you didn't like women. I knew it. Do you understand? In my black and white world there is no gray place where you fit for only me. If you had liked women, you would have picked up at least one of the ones on our 'catch a lesbian killer' case."

Jane wanted to speak, but she held her tongue. She wanted to tell the sweet woman before her that she was the woman who caught her eye that night. She was the one she wanted to take home. She said nothing. This was the part where she tore Maura to pieces. She didn't like this part.

"We can't change the past, but I wish I had at least told you. If I had gotten it out in the open, maybe we both could have moved forward instead of being stuck in our own personal, hellish quagmires. At the very least we could have cleared the air about us."

"I would have still denied it. At least for a while, and by that time you would have moved on." Jane's eyes were dark with sorrow as she looked at the woman across from her.

Maura winced as she felt pain with which she was quite familiar. "I know that now. I knew it then, Jane. You couldn't love me. You didn't know how."

"Not then."

"So you think you know now?"

"Maura, what I do know is that I want more than anything in this world the chance to show you."

"Really? I'm going to be honest here, when it all comes down to it, I'm still quite angry with you." A frown crossed her brow. It was a surprising confession. Until today, she had no idea that anger still sat in her psyche.

"I know. You should be."

"What? Why?"

"Anger can be healthy. As long as you don't wallow in it…..or run away from it." What she was insinuating was obvious. One of them had run one way and the other had disappeared. "When we can say to each other what we're feeling, we can heal. When we're not attacking each other that is. We've not had the chance to 'hash out' our issues. Tell me why you're so angry."

"You know why!"

"Yes, I know what I think you're feeling, but you need to say it. You have to tell me your truth to my face. Get mad at me like you were then!"

Maura let her voice raise ever so slightly. Only someone fluent in her personal language could understand her ire. Jane was that someone. "Fine! Jane, You were my best friend and I felt like you chose everything over me! I know how incredibly selfish that sounds. It IS selfish, and since I never shared with you my exact emotions you were quite free to fly away to another job with a new boyfriend. Although the boyfriend part, in my eyes, wasn't the best move, but understandable. You were free to go to the new job and follow him."

"We all need love, Maur." Jane saw the hurt skitter across Maura's soft features. She slowed her mind to be sure that she chose the right words for the moment. "That's what I was looking for. I didn't know I was looking in the wrong place. I was busy putting a band-aid on a problem I didn't even know I had. If you've noticed, I like to choose men who aren't really available. Casey for one. Cameron was but I wasn't."

"I chose a face-licker and a serial killer. We can compare notes on men later."

"But you also chose Jack and he was a very good man. You could have gone to New Mexico with him. I'm sure they have medical examiners there. You could have had love and the family you always wanted."

Maura sat in thought for a few minutes. "I couldn't. I couldn't leave you."

Jane felt the cold prickle of guilt shoot down her spine. There it was. The truth that Maura acknowledged this was not even on Jane's radar. "But….why?"

"Many reasons really. You were my first and only true friend. Your family was my family. To me I already had a family. The saying 'Hos before bros.' comes to mind. Slightly crass, but true none the less. There were no assurances that Jack would want me there for a lifetime, and I had that with you… up until I didn't. Your friendship and love meant more to me than my relationship with Jack. I didn't take the time to explore why, other than I have issues with abandonment. It was part of the reason I chose Ian. I thought I loved him, love of my life etc. but the truth is I chose someone who was exactly like my parents. I chose someone on purpose who would abandon me time after time. I didn't realize at the time that I chose you for the same reason."

Another nail in Jane's coffin of guilt. "Jesus, Maura." She stood up and began to pace the room. "After all I've done you still let me come to your home."

"I didn't let you do anything. I invited you. I also didn't say that to hurt you or guilt you. We all make choices in our lives that reflect our past. It takes work to learn to make new choices and to become people worthy of those choices. I wanted you to come tonight because I needed some form of closure. I need to move forward from this. So do you."

Jane felt a stabbing pain in her chest from what she felt Maura was saying. After all of the clothes, the car, the wine she thought that the evening was going to go in a certain direction. She hadn't expected it to be a farewell dinner, she had considered and dismissed the idea, and yet here they were. Closure. Maura wanted closure. She took a very deep breath. "You're right. I understand." Jane picked up her phone from the bowl on the entry table and looked at it for a few seconds. She turned on the Bluetooth and paired it with the house system. She picked a song and pushed play. Soft guitar notes came drifting over through the air.

"Dance with me, Isebella." She used the new name to let Maura know that she understood who Jane Rizzoili was to her. She was the past. "Dance with me to this song. If this is the last time we will ever see each other; dance with me now. Please?" Jane stood and held out her hand.

Maura nodded. She wasn't sure why Jane thought that this would be the last time that they would see one another, but she was willing to wait for an answer. She stood up from the table and allowed Jane to take her hand. The tall detective pulled her into her cinnamon scent and extraordinary body heat. Her deep voice sang the words. She didn't sing perfectly on key, but it didn't matter. Maura felt the words vibrate in her being.

I can't count the times I almost said what's on my mind

But I didn't.

Just the other day I wrote down all the things I'd say

But I couldn't. I just couldn't

And baby I know that you've been wondering

Mm so here goes nothing

In case you didn't know.

Baby I'm crazy about you

I would be lying if I said that I could live this life without you

Even though I don't tell you all the time.

You had my heart a long long time ago.

In case you didn't know.

Jane pulled away to look directly into Maura's green flecked hazel eyes. Tears stood in brown eyes without falling. She smiled at the smaller woman as she sang.

The way you look tonight

That second glass of wine just did it mmm

There was something 'bout that kiss

Girl that did me in

Got me thinkin'

And I'm thinkin'

One of the things that I've been feelin'

Mmm it's time you hear 'em

Jane pulled her close again and tears did begin to fall. She couldn't hold back the emotions that had been building all day. She whispered the words as the singer's voice poured over them.

In case you didn't know.

Baby I'm crazy about you

I would be lying if I said that I could live this life without you

Even though I don't tell you all the time.

You had my heart a long long time ago.

In case you didn't know.

The taller woman placed her forehead on Maura's. She didn't bother with her tears. She let them show as evidence of her feelings.

You've got all of me

I belong to you

Yeah you're my everything

In case you didn't know

I'm crazy 'bout you

I would be lying if I said that I could live this life without you

Even tho I don't tell you all the time.

You had my heart a long long time ago.

In case you didn't know.

The song ended and the two women continued to sway for a few seconds. Maura pulled back and put both of her hands on Jane's cheeks using her thumbs to wipe away the tears. She pulled the other woman in and whispered on soft lips not quite kissing.

"Prove it."

"I'm sorry?"

"Prove it, Jane Rizzoli." Maura breathed in everything that was Jane in that moment. The heat. The passion. The smell of cinnamon and sea salt. She closed the rest of the gap between them as she pressed her soft lips gently to Jane's. She held the kiss passionately to let Jane know that she was very serious.

Jane broke the magic and took two delicate hands in her own. "But, Maura, you said closure…I you…closure means the end. Closure means we're done. Closure means I have to leave you again. But….but, I don't want to leave you again." Jane's eyes filled with more tears.

Maura dipped down to look into Jane's sad dark eyes. One hand to her cheek. "No, Jane. My sweet love, oh no. I meant that we need to leave the past in the past where it belongs. We need to close those doors of guilt, shame and anger. We need closure from all of the pain. All of the work we have done has led us to a fresh beginning. The time has come for us to create something new. Something untouched by the past. Something precious. Something that belongs to only us. We have always belonged to each other, Jane. We either didn't know it or we ran away from it. Let's stop running, my love. Let's stop running. Prove that you can. Let's prove that we can."

"I love you, Maura. I love you more than life, I swear to God." Jane passionately captured soft lips again. This time she brushed her tongue against impossibly soft lips and was not denied. Maura returned the passion in kind. The clash of souls in the Italian air was electric and nothing on earth was going to stop the inevitable connection.

Thanks to everyone who comments. Even if it's a serious critique, I'm okay with that. At least you read it, right? I want to tell you that I appreciate anyone who reads my work. Writing is a fun pastime for me that I enjoy deeply! The next chapter will be posted separately because it's fiery sex and I want the main part to be fun for all ages. The last chapter is NOT that. Enjoy!