The Officer's Club was already full as word had spread that it was open to all this evening, not just officers, and there would be live music. Starbuck had to wade through a crowd to the front of the makeshift stage, then ask some people to move so he had a spot for the Commander and the rest of the group. He thought Jason and Cain would be joining them at the table, but the boys had grown uncharacteristically shy and hovered around the rest of the Rats helping them set up instruments. Starbuck went to check on the progress, but he didn't know much about musical instruments, and he ended up just pulling Jake aside to ask if the doc was right and he shouldn't drink. Lords, he needed one.

Surprisingly, Jake asked more than a few questions about things Starbuck couldn't answer like dosage and strength of the medication, as well as time administered, all the while the kid took a good hard look at Starbuck's eyes.

"I'm good. Stop being a medic for two milicentons and be a brother, would ya?" Starbuck groused.

"Okay, since I don't know what they gave you and I know what I did, you can have as many drinks as you buy for me, or Rene." Jake grinned evilly.

Growling, Starbuck reminded Jake once again, "You know she shouldn't have any," before he turned and stalked over to the bar, ordering fruit juice for all of them. He'd sneak the harder stuff in later and it wouldn't kill Jake to stay sober.

The band started playing before he got back to the table where he found Cain and Jason had come over along with Boomer. Looking over the packed club, Starbuck located Giles and Maia over in a corner, snuggled together like two lovebirds. He waved indicating there was room for them, but Giles declined with a lecherous grin at Maia. Sitting by the Commander might not be the best seat in the house for what those two had been up to ever since the engagement. They were waiting for the move to the Zakar to make it official and get their own quarters. It would be nice not to run across them everywhere doing things the kids shouldn't be seeing.

The band launched into some upbeat tunes in the ancient Caprican jig tradition. He knew the first one, but the next was unfamiliar. Listening to the words, he thought he should have known it since it was about becoming a ward of the state. Interesting choice for the crowd, but a common theme for the Rats. The song was cut short as Rene called out that the Commander was on deck. Once again Adama waved everyone back to their seats, taking his own before holding up a finger to admonish Rene.

"I was very clear. No rank here."

"And we all know, I don't listen very well, sir," she answered grinning.

In envy, Starbuck nodded to the Commander, admitting that the man had a lot to teach him when it came to leadership. Adama had found a way to compel Rene to show some respect by using reverse psychology. Why hadn't Starbuck thought of that? Oh right, maybe because if he challenged Rene to be disrespectful to Command, she might have just shown him how far she could take that disrespect. No, only the Commander could pull off this con.

"And my request?" Adama asked as he took his seat, gesturing Apollo to take the one closest to Starbuck who had missed his friend's arrival. "I have heard the talk about your original songs. Are we to hear some tonight?"

Rene nodded to Jake before looking to Starbuck. Was she asking for permission? If she was asking for his approval, that didn't bode well for the crowd around him, mostly Galactica Warriors. He nearly shook his head no, but found himself nodding. Most of the pilots would love the raw sound they produced and the thumping bass. In truth, he was more worried about the Commander. Starbuck had learned in these last sectares with the Rats, you had to be careful what you asked for because you just might get it. The mischievous grin on Rene's face had him holding up a hand, giving her the combat sign to go slow.

"Yes sir, per your request, here we go. It's not songs you would usually hear on the Rising Star, so if anyone wants to leave, we won't take it personal," she said as Jake dramatically pulled earplugs from his jacket pocket and placed them before the commander before picking up his guitar and beginning.

The synthesized chimes that began the first song sounded vaguely familiar. One of the members of the family was playing some music almost every night in the Council chambers, but this was an odd combination he hadn't heard. Once Jake began the lyrics, he really didn't know the song. While Jake had been recovering from the concussion he'd received in his attack, he'd been plucking away at his guitar often in their quarters and Starbuck had become pretty familiar with some of the new songs, but this was one he hadn't heard. Once Jake began the lyrics, he wondered when the kid had secretly composed the piece? When the man wasn't in the Life Center, he was hanging around the duty office with the boys or lounging on Starbuck's couch with the kids. Since the tribunal, Jake was rarely left alone.

"I forget how good they are." Apollo startled him by leaning towards him to be heard, his voice a low whisper in Starbuck's ear.

"Yeah, they are," he answered impressed that the first song they had chosen was something a little slower. Watching Jake sing helped to ease his mind a little. The kid was beginning to shake off his dark mood after the attack. On their makeshift stage, he even looked happy as he sang the next song, something a little slower, talking about second chances, surprisingly without a single curse word. Starbuck wanted to let concern for the kid completely go, but the song was full of suicidal ideation, something about being blown up by solenite. Sighing, Starbuck realized he was going to have to do something about that. He'd need to at least a good talk with Dr. Dixon or Salik, but then shook his head. Jake would be pissed if Starbuck did that. He'd just have to keep a closer eye on him, maybe shift him back to the squadron. Jake could work on being a medic another time, Starbuck thought, or maybe have the kid resign. Jake never looked relaxed unless he was playing music. Starbuck hadn't flown with him much, and while no one complained about his abilities in a viper, they sure did have a lot to say about Jake's attitude.

While trying to puzzle out what exactly he should do with Jake, Nik did indeed come out from behind the drums. His song was more like a spoken poem with some guitars along for the ride. The chorus didn't make much sense to Starbuck, something about always being on your backfoot, slang that he thought meant Nik always felt left behind. Surprisingly, it also was the first song to throw in a bit of profanity, but the real shock was it was only two bad words, something about all the female daggits being jealous, and he was going to do whatever the frak he wanted. It went with the song and the Commander didn't even flinch.

The biggest shock though was the change in Nik as he shed the guise of his nickname of the Phantom, and for once seemed animated. Added to the awe was the fact that the lyrics spoke about Nik having a mother. In theory, Starbuck knew the Rats all had parents at some point, but he hadn't realized that Nik didn't lose his until the destruction. If the song was accurate, then it left Starbuck wondering why the young man was on the streets with Rene and Jake? The song didn't provide any answers, so he added it to his mental checklist of tasks dealing with the family.

When Nik's song ended, Jake announced to the crowd that Rene did most of the songwriting leaving Starbuck marveling, "When had she found the time to do that between her duties and taking care of the kids?" He felt the guilt creep in. "I've been pretty wrapped up in my new job. I should delegate some of it. Boomer's more than willing. I don't have to prove I can do it all." He looked towards his friend who casting a knowing half grin Starbuck's way.

When Rene passed off her guitar to Jolly, the room hushed and Starbuck realized that word must have spread about her last performance. That song had left an impression on those who were there that night. In many ways it had helped Rene amend some of the feathers she had ruffled with her surly attitude when she first arrived on the Galactica. Starbuck felt his heart swell with pride at how good she looked up in front of the crowd. In civilian clothes, she glowed like they always said women with a child did, but it was more than that. Confidence radiated from her now compared to when she first came on the Galactica. Added to it was her hair that was getting longer and still glowed with the kiss of the sun.

The crowd looked to her expectantly, and she didn't disappoint. This song was very different, slower, less electric guitars, the drums toned down. Instead she filled the room with her voice. He knew she could sing, but like her last performance, she proved he knew very little about her or her ability. She took her voice high to low, loud to soft, with lyrics that sucked the air from the room. Starbuck gasped as in front of a whole room of people who were mostly strangers to her, she became vulnerable with her brutal honesty. The emotion of the song was visceral.

"I don't know where to turn. Everywhere I look these vultures burn the life right outta me. Do I run, or lay down and die? Is it time to close my eyes?"

She wouldn't meet his eyes. The honesty was raw as she sang, exposing her thoughts on whether she should live or take her own life. Starbuck reorganized his to do list for the morning, moving "Talk to the Doctors" to the top.

Rene kept her eyes up to the ceiling for most of the song, only meeting his and Adama's for a few of the lines, adding more emphasis when she did look at the audience as she sang, "Keep me numb, follow direction. A pawn to pass around and be bled until I'm dry."

The line that kicked him in the gut so hard it took his breath away was when she finally locked eyes on him, her voice rising in volume as she proclaimed that her hold on life wasn't what it used to be. "I'm older, I'm bitter, I'm jaded, I'm lost. Can someone just give me a sign?"

Following the blow was a sharp stab of jealousy. He didn't think the words were meant for him. It was like she was trying to summon Sagan himself, and Starbuck knew she could actually do it, or at least summon Iblis.

Had she already? The shiver traveled down Starbuck's spine. It might explain his own actions of late, abusing the power of his new position to try to beat answers out of a man. He shook his head ruefully feeling bruise to his honor(-awkward) of that moment. He thought it would get better since he'd gotten away with it, but he felt the disgrace down to his toes. He'd worked harder than anyone he commanded in an effort to make up for it, but it left him less time to spend with Rene and he missed her.

As the song ended with the words, "or is it time to close my eyes," he wanted to go to her, to enfold her in his arms. The desire to protect her, even from herself was as strong as the need to take the breath he'd been holding.

He started to rise from his chair, but Apollo pulled him back down, speaking in his ear again, "How does she do that? Fill the room like that?" His friend smiled at him as he continued, "She is really good. You are a lucky guy!"

Starbuck shook his head, not understanding why Apollo couldn't see the danger that was right before them. Rene was screaming for help and he couldn't ignore her. Trying to rise again, Apollo pulled him back down.

"I think they're going to do the one everyone in the fleet is talking about."

"Everyone? What song?" But Apollo cocked his head at him in confusion.

Before Apollo could explain, Starbuck received his answer as Jake introduced the next song to the crowd. Starbuck's eyes turned to Rene, expecting her to drift back into the background of the band, but she remained front and center as Jake spoke.

"This next one is by request and part of our reason for being here. Cain is joining the pilot training tomorrow to live up to his legendary name. We haven't sung this song with any Galactica Colonials in the room because, well," Jake hesitated. If Starbuck didn't know him better, he would say he looked ashamed. "We know you tried to do something about the destruction, but at the time, it looked like we had been abandoned. We want to make sure you don't take this one too personal, it's just…"

Jake hesitated looking to Rene who finished for him.

"We had a different center stage seat to the battle. I think it will help to explain why we're so…us…and …so damn pissed at the enemy."

"Frak the Cylons!" Max called out from somewhere in the room, earning several cheers in agreement.

Jake waited for it to die down before he continued, "Normally I take this one, but Rene wrote it so I'm making her take responsibility." Without waiting for anyone else, Jake launched into a guitar riff that then screeched, sounding like a falling bomb.

Once again, Rene became another person right before his eyes. The first song had been more, well, her, but this song gave him a glimpse of a younger woman, one with wide eyes who was terrified and resigned to a terrible fate. The chorus left the room quiet as a tomb. "Help is on the way, they said, they said, help is on the way. We were told to sit tight, somebody will soon arrive. Help is on the way. But it never came."

Sighing, Starbuck shook his head. The Rats had found a way to be offensive without a single curse of profanity as the subject of the song permeated the room. As she described the devastation and wailed for help that was never coming, everyone realized, the Colonial fleet was the help she was begging for.

And they never came.

The people had believed their leaders, that the truce was going to bring a lasting peace. They were the defenders of their worlds and they had failed to protect their people. Every Warrior had sworn an oath, and so many died that day trying to uphold that solemn promise to protect the colonies. Rene took their inability to defeat the enemy, and made it personal. But her song went beyond that as she explained to the crowd what exactly happened on Caprica that fateful day, "A thousand feet below, as black smoking goes the sky, the ocean floor erupts, eleven mothers cry."

He was tempted to count on his fingers how many of the Rats she was referring to that had hidden in the sewers that day with her. Nik, Jake, Ari, Jonas, Jason, Alex, Lizbet, Lara? The numbers didn't add up. They'd lost some since the destruction, and she was still counting those who Starbuck didn't know. The first Kalea and Kiff, it only made nine since Kalea and Kiff were siblings, but he didn't know. Should he ask or should he let it remain in the past? Before he could decide, the lyrics became even darker, "My bones all resonate, a burning lullaby. You can't take that from me. Just go ahead and try."

He winced. This song wasn't going to win her any admirers by the looks of the Galactica Warriors around the room. Several left by the end of the tune, but the band didn't slow down, launching into a another that was a counterpart to the other, something about not wanting to be held up and being able to stand on one's own.

He got what they were trying to say, the lyrics said it plain, "Don't hold me up now. I can stand my own ground. I don't need your help now. You won't let me down, down, down!" He just didn't think it was a message that needed to be blared across an Officer's Club. Looking to the Commander, he tried to offer an apology, if nothing else for how loud it was. He passed the message through Apollo who was between him and Adama, but Apollo waved him off, using the Rat's hand signs to let him know that it was okay, that his father had asked for this.

Apollo leaned closer, shouting in his ear, "No wonder we are having such a hard time with the civilians. It explains so much."

Starbuck had no idea what he meant. For one, they didn't have that hard a time with the civilians unless you counted the Council members who were too eager to end their voyage each time they found a halfway habitable planet, forgetting that the enemy might just find them again. Yes, there had been an attack on Jake and Nik, but that had been an isolated incident, as no other such attacks had been reported. Of course, that fed into Rene's belief that the two men had been targeted.

Rubbing his eyes, Starbuck yawned. He was too tired for this and was truly grateful when the song that followed was softer and slower. That sense of relief didn't last long as the fraks started flying.

"I am going to hear about this tomorrow," he thought as he looked from Apollo to around the room. Those from the Galactica who had stayed didn't look like they were enjoying themselves. The Dilmun pilots seemed to enjoy the music, but they were mostly friends of the Copper Squadron, and probably knew what to expect when the Rats played their own songs. Those warriors filled in the gaps left by those departing the club.

Starbuck wished he could say he was enjoying himself, but truth be told, it had been a long day. He was exhausted and the pain in his shoulders that was returning had him trying to roll them again. He wasn't sure how he was going to explain these songs to the pilots when they asked about them tomorrow. Adding to that stress was the talk he needed to have with Dixon and Salik and the added repercussions of Rene's wrath at the betrayal.

Leaning back and stretching his back, he wished he could just get some sleep and deal with all this next secton.

"Relax," Crius said in between songs. "You need to pull your shoulders from out of your ears or I'm going to be flying alone for a yahren."

"I'm fine," he replied curtly.

"Uh huh, then why do you look so miserable?"

He shook his head at him as another song started up, and the screeching guitar jangled his nerves. "I need a drink. Want one?"

"You think that's a good idea?" Crius asked, but Starbuck ignored him as he got up, taking Apollo's glass with him but leaving Crius's behind. He smiled and nodded at the friends he passed on the way, but once at the bar, he checked his chrono to see how late it was, debating if he could sneak out on his own family and get some much needed rest. His quarters would be quiet with everyone here. Quiet would be nice right about now.

As he waited for the drinks, his arm was jostled by another warrior. He turned to see who, and found himself face to face with Pallus.

"Great, it's you. Just what this day needed, more mong," Starbuck said ineloquently.

Pallus gave him a pyramid face back as he said, "Speaking of mong, I hear I have you to thank for the promotion back to the Galactica. Taking my ship are you?"

"Need to clean out the stink, that's all," Starbuck started to explain but Pallus continued.

"Yeah, she's gone downhill since we joined this fleet. Doesn't bother me to make the change. I would much rather take over a Battlestar any day. Enjoy your demotion. I'm sure the Commander and I will become close too, especially once I remind him of my lineage back on Caprica."

Starbuck sighed, too tired for a witty comeback. He ran Apollo's words through his head, "You don't have to work with this man much longer. You're leaving for the Zakar and then you can do and say whatever you want."

But then Pallus leaned closer, his voice a snarl. "You tell your wife, she knocks it off or I am going to kill her with my bare hands, you got that?"

Cold water splashed down Starbuck's spine at the threat, but he cast Pallus one of his best mong eating grins. "Well, I think we should take this conversation back to my table. I'm sure your new Commander would love to hear this."

"He'll be hearing her funeral dirge if she doesn't knock it off. We got the message, alright. Now you tell her to stop or this will get uglier than it already is."

Starbuck had no idea what the man was talking about, but he put kept the grin in place not wanting Pallus to know. He couldn't afford to start a fight, not here in the OC even if he did think the room full of his friends would take his side and help him take the trash out. But there was the Commander just a few steps away, and Starbuck liked the Captain's insignia on his lapel.

"Clean up your act, Pallus. The Galactica deserves better than your filth."

"I may be a little dirty, but at least I don't swim in the sewer. You dove down head first without looking. That can be dangerous. Just tell her, and she knows where she can find me when she's ready to be reasonable and apologize."

"And when will you be giving her your apology?" Starbuck sneered back.

"I did by letting her live until now. It stops, or I won't."

"I think that's how you got into this mess, you wouldn't stop," Starbuck answered, looking him squarely in the eye. "And the way I heard it, you fraking started it."

He could hear Pallus grinding his teeth over the sound of the pounding bass guitar. "We could debate that, but we're asking for a truce while some of us still have a Colonial Career."

"I hardly think that's her fault. You guys seem to be ruining that on your own. It's simple, take the help and quit using." Starbuck turned away from him to take his drinks, but Pallus pulled on his arm to turn him back, causing the drinks to spill. "Easy there," Starbuck warned, "or this gets ugly."

"So you don't know, do you?" Pallus shook his head before casting an evil glance toward Rene on the stage, then stepping to block Starbuck's attempt to leave the bar. "We stopped a while ago. We've been set up, and she's doing it."

"You attacked Jake." Starbuck sneered. "And any accusations you have to make, I'm sure the Commander would love to hear them." He took a step to the side, but Pallus matched his move.

"That might have been a mistake," Pallus held up a conciliatory hand, "for whoever was behind it. It wasn't me, but it will happen again if she doesn't stop."

"Is that so? And you know this because?"

Pallus glared at him before looking over to the Commander's table then back to him, "She's put more of my friends in the Life Center, than I have hers. She's not the innocent abused kid she's convinced everyone she is. Take my advice, Starbuck, don't turn your back on her. She's got claws."

Abruptly, Pallus turned away and Starbuck called out to him before he could think, "Don't turn your back on me, I bite!"

Slowly turning back, Pallus grinned evilly as he shook his head. "All you do is bark. Actually, you don't bark, you get your friends in high places to do that because you're toothless."

Starbuck didn't get a chance to find out how he might have answered that insult. Throwing the drinks on the man was high up on his list of choices for his first response. He probably would have let his fists provide the follow up reply, but Apollo had placed a hand on his shoulder, gripping him hard to restrain him.

"Pallus, good to see you mingling with your new squadrons. Why don't you come join us?"

Starbuck knew that tone in Apollo's voice, the one that said, "We are all going to behave like Officers and not disgrace the uniform." He watched as the words took their effect on Pallus, the curl of his lip softening as he hid his thoughts behind the guise of officer protocol.

"Thank you Colonel, but I was on my way out Just running an errand and back to the Zakar. Early day tomorrow. Enjoy your evening, sir."

The man was only a step or two away when Starbuck turned towards his friend, "He is a fraking boray. No, he's a boray's mother fraker. I swear to the Lords I am going to…"

"No, you are not." Apollo said the word with finality, halting the rest of Starbuck's rant.

"We need to do something about him," Starbuck growled as Apollo took a drink from him.

"I know. I'm working on it. I'm hoping being on the Galactica will have him on his best behavior, or at the very least, more eyes on him to catch him being a boray, because that is not what you want on a smaller ship with more autonomy or we wind up with a son of Sagan in charge."

Starbuck nodded, realizing once again he had a lot to learn about leadership. "Yeah, maybe, just so long as I get my family away before he comes over. He's making threats against Rene again."

The only indication that Apollo was taking Starbuck's words seriously was a slight wince, before he said, "That's the plan, to separate your family from some of the borays…um…I mean Dilmun warriors. Come on, you're missing the party. I think they're wrapping it up."

"Did you hear me? He's making threats!"

Apollo dramatically sighed, loud enough to be heard over the music. "I heard you loud and clear and the threat you made. Everyone heard it. You don't want to get into this right now. We are supposed to be having a good time and sending off Cain. Come on."

Starbuck ground his teeth. "You sure he hasn't tested positive for any substances?" Starbuck asked hopefully.

"We've checked. All within the limits allowed by the Colonial Service," Apollo said trying to guide Starbuck away from the bar.

"Those guidelines need to be revised. They are what started their problems on the Zakar."

"Maybe, but we were using stims too liberally after the destruction as well. A nice added bonus is they can act as a mood lifter. Besides, I don't think the stims are the problem, not anymore. Old grudges are and they need to be resolved."

"And how do you suggest we do that? An academy style team building workshop doesn't exactly make you forget yahrens of raping," Starbuck sneered.

Starbuck felt Apollo's hand on his arm detaining him from reaching their table. He turned to look at Apollo, to see the worry and concern in his eyes. Starbuck answered the question his friend was about to ask, "Jake's fine. Dealing with it better than I would. I want to kill a few people."

They both knew what Starbuck was referring to his early yahrens at the Academy and the hazing he had taken, or more accurately stated, refused to take. Sometimes he wished that he could have just laughed it off as pranks and all in good fun, "Geez guys, that was a good one!" But he had spent too many yahrens fighting to earn his spot at the Academy. He sure as hades wasn't going to bow and scrape to the boys who bought their way in.

Apollo nodded to him, acknowledging why Starbuck might be having problems dealing with the situation. "Now look who's making threats? We can't do this old Book of the Word, an eye for an eye, you know that right? Nor can we take justice into our own hands. Look Starbuck, tempers are hot right now and you always had a chip on your shoulder. You don't need it now. The rest of humanity is depending on us working out our differences. A merged fleet was supposed to provide safety and security for our people."

Grimacing Starbuck replied, "And Iblis promised the fleet deliverance, but not everyone is as good as you want them to be. Maybe a merged fleet isn't such a good idea?"

Shaking his head before sighing, Apollo said, "I know. I'm listening, Starbuck, to you and to the rumblings amongst the pilots and command. There was a reason that our ancestors fled Kobol to form different colonies. We may need to follow their example."

"We don't have enough ships for twelve fleets, and I'm not sure breaking us up into nationalities is the answer." Starbuck looked towards his friend Boomer, a Leonid, and towards Crius from Piscera.

"I don't either, but…"

Another song started, drowning out Apollo's reply. His friend leaned closer shouting, "We can talk about this later. Let's get back to the party."

"Later never seems to come," Starbuck grumbled to himself taking his seat as Crius gave him a questioning look, raising a hand asking in code what was wrong. Starbuck waved him off, instead turning to the band, hoping to catch Rene or Jake's attention. Per usual, Rene was lost in the music, head down, eyes closed, a wistful smile on her face. Lords he had wanted a happy ending to this day, but he knew Pallus wouldn't have approached him unless he thought he might be in the right to do it. Pallus was a snake, but he also seemed to care about his career and the Colonial code. If he said Rene was up to something, then she was and Starbuck had better put an end to it before it got out of control. He finally was able to get Jake's attention, flashing him a hand sign to wrap it up.

Play List…

If I had my time again, Rum Jacks

State of Masschusetts, Drop Kick Murphys

Dynamite, any given sin

Backfoot, Dinosaur Pileup

Vultures, Asking Alexander

Help is on the Way, Rise Against

Prayer of the Refugee, Rise Against