Unconsciousness drifted away, as I slowly awoke. My physical body seemed to be completely out of my grasp. I simply existed. No mass. No weight. The only sensation I recognized was the ability to hear and perceive what happened outside of the metal sphere I was contained. I was inside my capture device contained my energy, but provided me a freedom the physical world couldn't. My memory returned like a drip fed IV as I tried to remember what had led to this. The fight with Lula! Self righteous fury filled my core, when noise outside of my sphere brought me up short.
"What were you thinking Lula? You could have killed her! Or ME!" Kyle screamed. His anger was palpable despite my inability to be in the room.
"I'm sorry Master," Lula whispered.
"Look at the state you both are in! I'm barely managing to keep myself above water. Why did you think this was a good idea?"
I listened in silence. His discontent mirrored my own at the situation. I had held back and she had pushed me to fight back. When she had suggested a sparring match, she had made it clear that it wouldn't escalate beyond mere competition. She had wanted to test her limits. Her lie infuriated me. I needed to confront the starter, but not before I received medical care. I knew that when I+ had the chance I would fully lay into her.
"It's nice to know you actually care for once."
"What?" Kyle said. I could hear the apparent confusion in his voice.
"You've always put those Absols in front of me! I get that Katherine died. She was my friend too! I lost her and moved on. Yet you can't. I'm your starter, but when it comes to everything I always come second."
"You know that's not true Lula," Kyle tried to reply but the seal was unwilling to hear it.
"It is. We used to be so close. You always reminded me that we were in things until the end. Now there isn't a we. Just me. I'm so lonely. I can't remember the last time we spent time together," she wept. A loud bang caught my attention and I was curious as to what that had been.
"That's no excuse! I am taking you with me to Ranger Academy."
There was silence, at his accusation.
"That's different. I just...miss how things used to be," Lula stated pitifully. "It's been hard to connect with you since you've lost your arm."
"That doesn't make what you did okay," Kyle retorted. I couldn't help but feel bad that he had to take care of her after this irrational stunt. She remained silent, as Kyle proceeded to try and rationalize her actions.
"I'm not upset that you and Rose decided to go sparring. If you want to train its fine. It was not until, your thoughts deviated that she raised the alarm. Delilah told me you were going to kill her. What's wrong with you? You would never do something so...so...evil," he spat. That final word was like a poisonous barb which he lobbed at the water type. I could hear the disgust in his voice. If it hurt Lula, I expected that it would prevent her making another stupid mistake like that.
"You're right. I'm sorry Master," she whispered. Her defense crumbled under his scrutiny.
"That's not good enough! Why Lula?Do you think I would be okay if you killed her?"
"No," came the mumbled response.
"Did you think if Rose had hurt you irreparably I would fine with it?"
"Kyle. You don't want the answer to that," she begged. I was stunned to hear her admit that she thought her worth was so little.
"Lula. You cannot be serious about this right now." The disbelief in Kyle's voice made it clear what he and I were thinking. She was favored above me. While I didn't like it, I understood why.
"I am," she said sadly.
"I value both your friendship, and strength. You were my best friend growing up. There is nothing that could replace, or change that. Your worth isn't in your talent, or your combat prowess. It's in your kind heart and the beautiful memories we built together. No one else has swam across oceans for me. No one else sang me to sleep when I was afraid of thunderstorms. When I went to school, nobody protected me from the bullies but you. So why would just...just aim to hurt me like you did today?" he asked. His anger had faded into misery. He no longer played the role of angry parent, but confused friend.
"I hoped that if Rose was gone, we could go back to just the two of us. No one else," she whispered. Silence permeated the air, before Kyle spoke up.
"Lula. I'm severely disappointed in you. You crossed a line today. You aren't the only one in my life, and I never took you to be the jealous kind. I'm going to go take Rose and do the same for her. Take some time and think," Kyle stated. His words must have cut the Primarina deeply, yet I didn't feel an ounce of sympathy. This wound was self-inflicted.
On cue, his hand wrapped around my enclosure. I could feel him lift my sphere and carry it. I remained silent as I replayed the conversation in my mind. As my momentum came to a stop, I felt the sphere open giving me physical form again. As I solidified, extreme tenderness and pain-filled my entire body. I stumbled, only for a hand to catch me.
"Easy, Rose," Kyle said. I strobed my eyes and glanced around the room. It was smaller than Kyle's. A large mattress lay in front of me. A purple and black checkered comforter lay atop the bed. Pink floral patterns decorated the wall, along with a huge poster of a Delphox.
"Emily's room?" I asked, in shock as I looked around. Her feminine sweet scent permeated the area, and I inhaled it deeply. It was so calming but reminded me that it was empty.
"I miss her," Kyle said, as he gently guided me towards the bed. I sheathed my claws to not damage the bedding as I lay down.
"Be right back. I need to grab Mom's medki-"
"Here it is," Delilah said, popping her head in momentarily. The fairy/psychic type dropped the box off at the entrance. She lazily waved to me before giving us the space to talk.
"Kyle…I'm sorry," I admitted, hanging my head. "I shouldn't have gone along with her plan. She riled me up and-"
"I'm not upset with you. I saw how things went, towards the end. She tried to attack you after I broke up the fight. She would have hit me to get to you. You listened and tried to stop. Thank you, Rose," he said, reaching into the box. He pulled out white bandaging while I stretched my body out so he could tend to my wounds. He pulled out a can of salve and passed it to me. I wrapped my maw around it, locking it in place so he could unscrew it. As it opened I crinkled my nose as the very bitter antiseptic scent hit me.
"Hehe. It smells bad, but it works wonders on soothing cuts and burns," Kyle chuckled. He applied a small glob of the goop to my chest rubbing it in. Immediately a tingling and chilling sensation filled my body soothing away my aches and pains.
"Ahhh…mmmm," I moaned appreciatively.
Looking at Kyle's face, I noticed his cheeks had flushed a bright red. I followed his gaze and realized he had a clear view of my sex. Shifting my hindlegs to cover myself, I teased him playfully.
"What? You don't like what you see?"
"Rose!" he hissed, obviously ashamed of the event.
"Oh come on now. I saw you fully naked. Not erect but nude. Here's your chance to see me," I said teasingly. He snapped his eyes shut, making me giggle. Growing self-conscious of my situation, I nudged him with my forward paw. He let out an exasperated sigh of relief and went back to the task at hand.
"I'm not a virgin, but I would gladly give it to you if you were interested. I'm supposed to be making things easier on you but I'm not. Am I?" I asked. His green eyes stared deeply into my own and I found myself growing lost in the emerald.
"I don't mind the teasing," he said, with a smirk. "Wait a minute! You never explained the Aggron situation."
It was my turn to flush in response and I hid my face under my paws.
"You promised you'd tell me," he said. He took gauze and started wrapping a burn on the outside of my leg. He took his time, and I provided assistance as he worked.
"Before the incident in the cave, I had several flings. An Eevee male. An Aggron. A Milotic. A Loudred. A female Ninetales and lastly a Deerling. I was experimenting with different kinks and sizes."
"What kind of kinks?"
"Bondage. Knots. Double Penetration. Size Difference. Vibration," I said quietly. It was embarrassing to admit. "Granted they each provided a different experience with some more pleasurable than others. The worst was the Deerling. Despite his youth, he was too eager and too rough. He left me bleeding and in pain for weeks after."
"Ouch. I'm sorry," he said, leaning down to tie off the cloth.
"Don't be. I learned my lesson. The Aggron was actually a submissive male believe it or not. He enjoyed securing himself via rocks and letting his mate control the pace," I said. "I was only able to manage the first eight inches. He was so thick, I could see him jutting out of my stomach. He was about two feet long and 9 inches thick at the base. I wouldn't have been able to take all of him. Nonetheless, we went slow and he made sure I was plenty lubed and prepared for him. It was fun. Not mindblowing, but fun," I finished. He sat back before asking the next question.
"And of them who was the best?" he asked.
I contemplated each male and each experience individually before giving my answer.
"The best male I had was the Milotic. I stayed with him the longest. Almost four months. The rest were a week-long or less," I replied. He sighed and moved to grab Hyper Potion from the box. I opened my mouth widely so could he poured the sweet pink liquid down my throat. As I swallowed bit by bit he commented on my experiences.
"Hmmm. I doubt a human can compare to any Pokemon considering that each one has something to offer. Fire types are probably hot. Water types probably have tons of semen or female ejaculation. Grass types have vines. Humans are just…basic," he stated thoughtfully. I finished drinking and wiped the excess away with the back of my paw. I cleaned the fur thoroughly before replying to his sentiment.
"You aren't wrong. But basic can be good. An emotional connection always gives the best orgasms," I said, smiling.
He grinned and I couldn't help but feel happiness radiate in my chest. I could understand why Lula was so willing to kill for this. This feeling was the best in the world and I didn't want it to go away.
"Kyle. Thank you," I whispered. He leaned forward and placed his good hand on my head, rubbing softly. I leaned into the affection willingly.
"You're welcome."
I contemplated everything that was going to happen, and how I could contribute. How far would I be willing to go to please him? And then it fully hit me. Kyle sensed the change in my attitude because his smile faded.
"What is it?"
"I know what I can contribute to your training," I said, enthusiastically. He seemed confused but I knew that despite it being a minor assist to his power it would help him in the long run.
"And that is?"
"Another time. I'll tell you about it later. For now…I need to ressssstttt," I said stretching and yawning loudly. My wounds were properly bandaged and I felt fully rejuvenated. A good nap would do me some good. He stopped petting me and leaned back in his chair.
"Rose. I need you to be honest and upfront with me about something," he asked. I looked at him and noticed that he appeared troubled by a thought.
"When you fought Lula, at any point did you think about killing her?"
His question was a heavy one and my stomach churned as I considered my emotions at the time.
"No," I responded solemnly.
"Do you resent her for taking your place?"
"No. I've done some soul searching today. If you graduate with her or me, then I'll be happy either way. At the end of the day, I'll be here waiting for you. Pass or fail, I'll support you. You're my friend Kyle. And that is the only thing that matters to me in the end," I finished. Closing my eyes, I signaled to him that this conversation was over. Yet, I had a small voice in the back of my mind question whether I would kill Lula if she threatened Kyle. I knew the answer. I didn't like it but I was abhorrent to the proposition.
That evening, I awoke to a small knock on the door. As I sat there, I wondered who would be waking me up from my sleep. I had skipped dinner, so I was ravenous now. Pushing my hunger down, I approached the door quietly. Slapping the handle swiftly, it swung open, revealing Primarina. Like me, she was bandaged in numerous places. Righteous anger filled my stomach, and I fought the urge to attack her for her lack of control. Instead, I let out a nasty snarl, which shocked her. Her expression was depressed, and I could see that she was heavily affected. This wasn't like the time she had stated I was only trying to hurt Kyle before the fight. This was Lula at her lowest. She had messed up big time and I could tell she had something on her mind.
"Rose. May I come in?"
"Depends. Do you intend to finish the job?" I asked. It was a low blow but my trust with the water type was gone. My guard was fully up and I wasn't going to give her the chance to retaliate against me.
"You're angry," she stated, her head lowering in submission.
"You tried to kill me over him," I said, my claws unsheathing audibly. She retreated a foot and stared at me fearful of what my next move would be.
"You aren't the first to betray me. You are the first who gets to live to regret it," I said in barely a whisper. I backpedaled with her in view, giving her the chance to enter. She hesitated at the boundary, before sliding in and shutting the door. Her back turned, I could see the damage I had inflicted was grievous. As she sat in front of me, her mane was unkempt and stained with her own blood.
"Master…sent me to apologize."
"I don't want to hear it," I retorted. She inhaled loudly and I watched her fidget nervously. It was necessary she understand exactly just what she had lost. Her eyes grew larger as salty tears rolled down her cheek.
"Save the waterworks Lula," I stated. " I heard what you told him. You made your decision to try and end me in front of him. Without a second thought. I even did everything to restrain myself on that final attack."
Her tears continued unabated before she caught me off guard.
"I know. This is why I am choosing to give up my place. I want you to attend instead."
She had the upper hand. My mind tried to recover and reply but I was unable to answer her.
"Why?"
"Delilah and I had a discussion about Kyle's future and more importantly my thoughts during our fight. I was wrong to do what I did to you Rose. I'm not sorry because he told me to be. I have been unfairly judging you the same way I did your sister. I've always been the prized Pokemon. After she died, I've always been second best. He mourns for her daily. That one moment has become his life. To be fair, he's right. She sacrificed herself for him. I constantly I have to live with the shame of freezing on that day. Katherine didn't. She was much better than me."
"Praising my family won't earn you brownie points here. Kyle's made his dec-"
"I can't accept it. As flawed, and as much as I have hurt him. No. He deserves better. I'm not conceding the position of his mate. But as…your friend, you can do so much more for him than I could. Please. Take this as my final request. You can hate me. You can punish me daily and shut me out. I'm asking you not as Kyle's Primarina. Nor as a friend to another. I'm asking you from the very bottom of my soul. From one Pokemon to another…please take my place as his partner for school. Consider this me doing right by you, for once," she said. Her eyes met mine and I wandered exactly what her angle was for this. It seemed like another dirty trick.
"Do you think he would just accept this?" I demanded, angrily. Kyle would be furious to know his starter had sacrificed her position to give me a chance to atone.
"No. But…" She paused, her maw curling into a small smile. She conveyed so much in that single moment as she finished her sentence. "I'm okay with it." She turned on her hip, and slid out of the room leaving me speechless and stunned.
Alone my mind whirled in a storm, trying to calm down. In this one encounter, not only had she given me her most prized possession, she had done so willingly. My anger didn't abate but I was lost as to how I was supposed to respond. Lula had stepped down and given me a chance to help Kyle achieve his dream. I had denounced our friendship. I had cut her as deep as I could. I had deemed her the enemy and she had slain her own heart in front of me. I was troubled as she left me alone. My response had lost all power. She had lost. Not only had she lost, but she had willingly given me 9 months alone with Kyle. She understood exactly what could happen. Lula wasn't an idiot. Kyle's heart was at stake. She had conceded everything and done so with a smile on her maw.
Reeling from the news I backed up to the mattress and slumped weakly against it. The door opened slowly and Delilah entered without a word. We were both silent, as she wrapped her arms around me. She held me tight as I felt the world whirl around me in a mess.
"Rose. I didn't make her do this."
"But-I-I-" I weakly spoke, unable to comprehend her decision.
"Take a second."
"How-how does this affect his schooling?" I asked, looking to Delilah. She shook her head and sighed.
"The outcome vastly has shifted. What's worse is I can't see just how much was changed. You being a Dark-type makes the future extremely blurry."
"She has to go then!" I started desperately, but Delilah shook her head. "He has to be safe!"
"He will be there. No one will attack him on Ranger Academy grounds."
"Lula is his starter. She-"
"Rose. Why are you so adamant about not having something good in your life?" she asked firmly. Her words brought me up short. I knew exactly what she was getting at.
"Because good things never happen to me," I admitted softly.
"Well, it's about time they did. Your sister would have wanted you to be happy right? That's the promise you made," she told me. I nodded numbly. I needed time to understand what had just happened.
"He's going to be upset though," I tried to argue. Delilah bopped my nose, irritating me slightly.
"She's talking to him now. In all honestly, he's surprised, but he understands. I don't think you have anything to worry about. Present or future. Stop standing in your own way. Let yourself win for once, Rose. You deserve it," she said, releasing me. Before I could respond, she warped out of the room.
Alone in my thoughts, I remained motionless for a long time. I listened to the clock tick behind me. Attending the academy would require me to be on my best behavior. I would be at his beck and call. It made me giddy with excitement, but on the other side was the heaviest weight I could imagine. It was on me to help him through Ranger Academy. I couldn't fail him. I had to be perfect for him, through everything.
A single knock on the door before I came to actual conscious thought. I watched it slide open, and Kyle entered. He balanced a plate of curry, which was filled with apples and smelled heavenly.
"Hey," he greeted me.
"Hi," I said awkwardly. He moved closer to sit down and I looked at the bowl. I wanted to devour it. Yet my appetite faded as I sat in front of me. He pushed it closer but I kept my maw closed.
"Rose?"
"Did she-she tell you her decision?" I asked.
"She told me everything. You had every right to be mad at her. I don't blame you."
"And-?"
He held his nub in front of my vision, which blurred as angry tears forced themselves out of my eyes.
"You constantly remind me, that Katherine made her decision. I'm still learning to accept it. Now its your turn. This isn't your fault. This was my choice."
"AND I TOOK YOURS AWAY!" I shouted vehemently. "I hurt you in a way that I can never take back."
"Rose!"
"What!" I shouted, looking into his eyes. I was stunned to find he was crying too, as he pulled me to his chest.
"It's okay," he whispered, petting me. His affection soothed my anxiety which enveloped every part of my mind. Again he repeated the statement, and it helped calm me down.
"Lula…knows she can be emotionally unstable at times. She and I are both aware of that major flaw," he said. I closed my eyes, but he forced my gaze up to his. Again the green in his eyes enraptured my attention.
"Win or lose. Good or bad. We do it together. If Lula believes you are the best chance I have at succeeding then I have to listen to her. Elaina's death is a reminder of what happens if I don't. I know you are worried about the outcome. Don't. Just promise me that you'll try your best."
"Of course, I'll try," I whispered.
"I know you will," he said with a broad smile. His faith in me warmed my heart.
I leaned down and took a bite of the sweet and savory meal. I chewed on it thoughtfully before letting it slide down my gullet gleefully.
"Mom's cooking is always on point," I said as I leaned down to take another bite.
"I'd agree, but Delilah made dinner tonight," he replied. My eyes widened, but I proceeded to continue eating my meal. "Rose. I need you to try and forgive Lula. You both are special to me and I can't have you fighting over me. I'd rather make you both happy than to hurt either one of you."
I swallowed the food in my maw slowly. She had tried to kill me. Twice. I had threatened her, but I never would have crossed the line. Lula meant a lot to Kyle and by proxy me. My anger remained, and the idea to shut her out still felt appealing. I was worried she would stab me in the back as others had tried to. My history remained the best basis for how others would act
"Rose?"
My silence bothered him, and I understood why. He needed to know I could do this. I contemplated it one more time as I tried to shove my emotions down. Kyle was asking me to put my pride aside. As my one true friend, there was nothing he couldn't ask of me. I owed him so much. He had forgiven me for his arm. Therefore, it was on me to forgive Lula.
"I'll talk to her later."
"You are dodging," Kyle stated, nudging my shoulder.
"I will forgive her, Kyle."
"Thank you."
His gratitude flattered me and I blushed in response.
"It's nothing," I mumbled awkwardly.
He chuckled, before standing up and laying down on the bed. I looked at him admiring his composure. Kyle was growing daily and it was something that made him desirable as a mate. My heart constricted as I considered the words of Delilah. With me beside him, our future was uncertain. Delilah had warned me bad things were going to happen to Kyle. Even prior to the fight she suspected there was someone pulling all the strings concerning this situation. Despite that my precognition had failed to detect any disasters heading his way. It was my own anxiety and belief that he was still in danger.
Kyle left me to finish my meal in silence. I finished swiftly as I needed to keep my promise to him. I was loathed to give her another chance, but in this case...she may have earned it. Picking up the bowl in my teeth, I made my way downstairs, noticing that Olivia was nowhere to be seen. As I entered the kitchen, I bumped into Delilah. I bounced off her leg harmlessly, before rolling back up. The bowl was caught mid-air by the Psychic-type.
"Rose! Sorry. Should have seen you coming," she said, jokingly.
"Where's Mom?" I asked, glancing past her.
"Unfortunately, she called earlier. Work is holding her up. She won't be home until Saturday. Until then, I have the "house" as she put it." That was three days from now. We wouldn't see her for almost three more days? It was weird to hear that. Nonetheless, I nodded slowly.
"I see. Do you know what she does?"
"She's told me to keep that part of her life hush hush. If you are looking for Lula, she's outside. Full moon tonight, which she told me is good for her singing. It helps calm her down," Delilah said, redirecting my question. I made a mental note to ask Mom when she returned home about work. I was really curious as to what could possibly be holding her time up as it had.
"Okay. Thanks."
"Rose."
I paused as I started to sidle past her.
"Please be gentle with her. Her only dream was to go with Kyle. She put up the façade of being okay with it, to convince you to go."
I let her words sink in before nodding.
"So she's not okay," I said. It wasn't as much a question as it was a rhetorical question.
Delilah shook her head and sighed loudly.
"That stubborn little otter is crushed. Keep your normal tone out of this. You promised Kyle to make things right. I trust you will," she said, sweetly.
She turned away, giving us the privacy to resolve this. I exhaled a large breath, before pushing open the patio door. The dark night sky stretched overhead and twinkled with hundreds of clear stars. The yellow tinge which accented the moon painted a backdrop to Lula who sat on the tip of her tail, with her paws out. She sang loudly, wailing a haunting song of misery and pain. It died softly in the night, as it barely reached beyond the feet. I had the feeling she was consciously attempting to not alert anyone. Moving behind her, I sat down next to her. It took the Primarina a moment but she realized that she had an audience as I leaned into her. She finished her song with a low bass before looking at me fearfully.
"R-rose? Are you-"
"Shhh. Let me talk," I stated, taking a moment to compose my thoughts.
We sat there in silence admiring the stars before I launched into my small monologue.
"I understand why you are very protective of your position as a mate for Kyle. My sister almost stole that from you. You've known him the longest and been there when both Katherine and I weren't. When I came back, you conceded and let me pass, hoping I could heal him. Now that I have and you've…recovered, you are fighting to not lose him. My…priorities have changed Lula," I stated.
"Priorities? You laid your claim out in front of me. You kissed him the night you returned. I'm surprised that is all that happened, Rose," she accused.
"You are right. I was so wrapped up in my own wants I didn't consider what he needed. That fight took a lot out of Kyle."
"If you mean his arm-"
"No, Lula. Look at what he's lost. His friends resent him. He abused you. His sister left with Chris on her journey. Bry is still in the hospital. Elaina died, with his name on her lips. Katherine died in his arms. I…abandoned him, out of fear." Regret filled my chest as I wish I could have just admitted everything to him that night. Mewtwo had manipulated us perfectly.
"I know Master is still recovering. I'm not stupid, Rose."
"Good. Then you should also know that we can't have him. Not as he is now. Kyle only wants to move forward with his life, where his choices aren't taken from him."
"Master's future is his own!"
"Not if we force ourselves upon him. If we make him choose now, he'll constantly be questioning whether it was his choice or ours," I stated. I watched as the metaphorical lightbulb went off in her head. She hung her maw, as she replied.
"Oh," she said simply.
"It's selfish of me to even consider taking him for my own. He's not property," I stated.
"Then why did you fight me for him?" Lula demanded. "Why lay claim to him?"
"Because despite what I know, I still want him. I still love him. More than I should," I whispered. At this point, I didn't care if she heard me or not. We remained silent as we each retreated inward.
"I forgive you, Lula. I'm still livid. You almost attacked Kyle, and that's something that you will never do again. Not as long as I'm around. Next time, I will kill you if you even consider it," I started with a threatening growl.
"If I hurt Master…I'd let you," she replied simply. "So… are we friends?"
The word 'friend' hung in the air. I didn't want to accept her proposal.
"Rose. If it makes you feel any better, I can admit that I lost control. I was so blinded by jealousy. I'm sorry that I hurt you in that way. To be honest, outside of us sitting down watching TV together we haven't really...bonded as I did with your sister."
Her words hit a sore spot, and I sighed. I instinctively knew that both of us were to blame for that. Lula on the other hand didn't give me the opportunity to reply, taking full responsibility.
"It's not your fault. When you came, I falsely accused and drove you away from Master out of spite. I owe you a lot. He would have died if you hadn't protected him that night. Thank you, Rose."
Her kindness was shocking and I couldn't help but mumble out a small "thanks."
"No. Really. Now that I think about it, I'm not as broken up about you going to Ranger Academy. "
"Why not?" I asked curiously.
"You haven't had the time to spend with Master as I have. You both deserve to grow together. Besides, with the greatest chance of success...Kyle will be happy if you help him reach his dreams. How could I be so stupid to not want that?"
I nodded absentmindedly. I didn't want to voice my own concerns and fears, but I couldn't help the nagging in the back of my mind. We would have a better grasp on if Kyle would even be capable of attending in the coming days and weeks. With Kenzo and Arren, I could only hope that his odds would improve.
"Rose. I'm getting tired. We...can have a talk tomorrow. I'd like to tell you some more about my past if you are up for it."
I nodded absentmindedly as she slid away leaving me to my pessimistic thoughts. I couldn't help but worry how much she would blame me if I caused him to be expelled. The odds were stacked against us, and I feared what would come from trying more than I did from leaving it alone. I wasn't sure how I would cope but I had to for his sake. Staring into the stars and the moonlight, I let my mind wander aimlessly about Fang, Lily, and Kyle. They all had a place in my life, but did I deserve to have a place in theirs? I couldn't be sure.