56
Jack walked calmly along the dirt track to where the intruders had set up camp, whistling loudly as he wandered, swinging a stick at the snow covered grass.
"Say back" someone called out and Jack found an old shotgun being levelled at him. "I mean it… stay back. You're trespassing on private land!"
"Funny… I was bot to say the same thing. This is part of Shangri-La. It is a privately owned village and everything back to the far edge of the woods over there belongs to.. well… us. So, YOU are trespassing on OUR land." Jack said with a wide grin.
"What?"
"This land is owned by the Shangri-La Association and you are trespassing without permission on our land" Jack calmly pointed around him "all of this… has to move to the other side of the woodland area over there where the fence shows our boundary or it WILL be moved."
"Yeah? You and whose army?" the ringleader sneered around his huge nose ring. Jack was transfixed by it. Wondering how he blew his nose when he had a cold, if it got cold in the snow and stuck to his top lip… you know Jack…. He just blinked for a moment , then her turned to motion behind him.
Forty Hoodlum stood in the tree line behind them watching as Jack said "Well… that's the first wave. We do have …like… lots. I mean… how many Hoodlum Clan do you think there are in Wales? Hmmm? I am a high priest. Yeah… I know. Crazy… right?"
They stood and stared.
"You know… the worst part of it is… if you had asked we might have said OK. We might have supported you, protected you… looked after you. But you don't seem that …. Nice."
"Well… if you want us to move you can move us Boomer."
"Boomer?" Jack grinned in that feral way he can as he replied "I thought you would never offer. Hang on a sec… I will go get my tank."
Jack bounded away as one of the squatters walked over to say to the ringleader "Did he say Tank?"
They shared a look and then laughed as they agreed that he was delusional and… the faint roar of a huge engine had them all turning to watch the dirt road that ran around the trees they had used to shield themselves from the village.
The first thing they saw of course… was the canon.
Then the tank emerged around the bend and the turret slowly swung to point at them as they all stood looking on with abject shock.
"If I was you lot… I would start packing. The Captain was dead fucking serious mate" one of the Clan yelled from the pack now watching with open amusement.
Jack was defending.
With his usual style.