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The man was not one Ianto recognized from the CCTV but knew he was one of the 'higher ups' from the Hippy fuckers. The fact he had requested a parlay was enough for Ianto to know he was about to swing his dick about like he was better than everyone else… not something you should do with someone who knows their dick is bigger.
Gwen sat in the off-road Jeep with a look of boredom as Ianto and Jack approached the meeting place. The man in the suit was clearly the silly fucker along with some Heddlu who were sheepishly watching Jack eyeball them, this uniform freshly pressed.
"Right… I would like to start by addressing whomever it was that attacked my son yesterday"
Ah. Right. Ianto cleared his throat "Sorry… Belz is unavailable today, he has… business at home."
"Belz. What sort of name is that for a low life hoodlum!" the man spluttered.
"I assure you Sir, Beelzebub is outstanding in his field!" Ianto said with the same icy calm even as the Hoodlum watching all started to snigger at the inside joke. "Perhaps… since he is unavailable… you wild like to address the Heddlu Officer that was on the scene instead?"
The man tuned to face Jack who head his hands up "Whoa… not me partner. I wasn't with Ianto, he had his bodyguard with him. Ex Heddlu, highly decorated by Her Majesty herself ya know."
Ianto made a soft clicking noise with his tongue and the dog stepped out from behind him, her head low like a viper as she moved along the ground on her belly, clearly marking a target.
"Mi' Lady.. hold"
She stopped crawling and eyeballed the man.
"Mi' Lady… rise"
She stood to her full height, the stab proof vest on display as well as the scars as she lifted her head to stare into the man's eyes.
"So you see… ah... look. Beelzebub is here after all" Ianto said and they all turned to see the huge goat in the distance, wandering the fence line as if looking for the little prick to bunt one more time.
"A goat."
"Not just any goat, citizen" a new voice said and Ianto spun with horror as a little child slipped from the undergrowth to stand in hero pose, his hands on his hips … mayyyyybe another child in the bushes in a cow costume watching too …. Well "Beelzebub is the King of all Goat and you better be warned mister citizen man… he is a fierce fighter."
"Thank you Captain… I thought I asked you to stay home" Ianto called out.
"And miss this?" the little boy's head tipped back as he laughed maniacally, then soberly stared at the men "No Citizen Tadda Dearest… no. I am needed here. I must warn these people that they are in the Lair of the Goat. Best move back."
Then a Heddlu Officer's radio crackled on his shoulder, a fainting goat responded with the textbook fall over and the other goats roared.
"Ah… if I can give you some advice there mate… I would run" Jack said calmly as the goat pack started their run.
Gwen powered up the Jeep and drove to the fence line to finish the conversation with the now highly amused Heddlu, then returned to tell them that it was all sorted. Trespass notices being issued and the Heddlu really… really hope they do not have to come back.
A huge white goat the size of a feckin donkey at the fence eyeballing them a great incentive there.