Rene tried to listen to the talk around the table, but the knock upside the head, or maybe it was Salik's quick treatment of her concussion, or it could have even been seeing Iblis and Ari that day, well one or maybe all of those events had broken something loose in her mind. As Starbuck asked his questions, memories rose to the surface and she couldn't concentrate.. It was like bubbles of lava popping, spraying globs of fire that ignited stray embers of moments in her life. As Starbuck asked about Mars, suddenly it was there, almost as real as when it happened, the first official discipline she had received involving the lash. She tried not to flinch as she felt the pain again.

It hadn't been her fault. She was late for duty having overslept after coming off another duty late into the sleep cycle. It's not like she had a chrono. Colonials were issued one and could request a new one any time. She had to rely on others to wake her. Ten lashes was the penalty for the first offense, and punishment was swift on the Zakar. While still uttering her apology, Mars had ordered her to remove her jacket, take off her tunic, and bound her hands in front of her. Before she could think to grovel, he was tossing the bindings on her hands over a hook on the duty office wall, and the lash came down shredding her flight suit.

It was like being struck by lightning. Any resolve to not scream was forgotten as agony seared through her. She howled in pain, slipping from her feet, begging for the fire on her back to end. The second lash was a complete shock, more painful than the first, stealing her breath away mid scream. She hung there, not even attempting to get to her feet. She couldn't draw air until the wave of pain ebbed, and then there came the third hit. She felt the impact, shoving her body into the wall, before the sting of the fire raced through every nerve in her body. It unleashed any dignity she had as she begged Mars to stop, crying out apologies. She still remembered each strike, recalling that it was hard to breathe as pain filled her mind with red explosions. She had stopped trying to draw air hoping she would black out.

She didn't pass out. Mars gave her time between each stroke for her to catch her breath and to plead before laying on more pain. When it was done, Mars left her hanging there. It was Kenan that had helped her to her feet and back into her tunic, the fabric on her skin was nearly as painful as the lash. She'd been expected to go back to duty, to endure the agony of her day. Thankfully Jake had slid her some pills, probably the same kind Salik had given her today. They'd cut the pain to something manageable, but they couldn't take away the humiliation of having to deal with Mars the rest of the duty, acting like lashings were just as commonplace as paperwork. By the time they had been allowed to crawl into their makeshift bunks in a bend in the corridors, Jake had to peel her tunic off her, pulling away scabs. The antiseptic he applied burned as bad as the lash itself. She'd cried into Kenan's chest as he held her, mumbling over and over again that he was going to get revenge. His tender kisses blurred the lines between pleasure and pain.

It had been so fraked up. She was only a few minutes late, but Mars didn't care. Suddenly she was so angry she couldn't see. She had to step away from this table now. "The fraking Colonials talk about the lash like they know, but they didn't get whipped. They don't have a clue," she thought to herself, knowing it wasn't completely true. Starbuck knew. He'd taken that whip for her, and that was even more fraked up. Dante was dead now, and she wanted a few more to meet their ends in slow painful ways, to be so immured in agony that the part of them trying to escape was more animal than human.

Starbuck reached for her as she tried to move away. She was afraid to look at him. He knew too much and he didn't need to be burdened with more. He'd taken the lash for her and she knew she wasn't worth it. He was so good and kind and righteous, he wouldn't want to know the deadly plans she had for half of the command of the fleet. She fled to the darkest corner she could find, a perfect place for her dark thoughts. She sat just focusing on the stars. Her ears were filled with the sound of Starbuck's lashing, his groans at each strike.

With shaking hands she pulled out a fumarello when what she really needed was a stiff drink. It took three tries to light it as Kiff crawled into her lap and Kalea pulled on her arm. She tried not to push them away, but her back was burning with the memory and their clutching hands burned on her skin.

"The whipping Mars gave me worked," she mused to herself, taking a long drag from the fumarello, letting the vapors and the pills she had taken ease her pain now. "I was rarely late again. But it wasn't really about that, was it? " She'd taken other lashes for other reasons. In hindsight, Mars had been a gentle hand compared to others. "It was all in the comparisons," she mumbled to herself, trying to blow the smoke away from her kids before taking another long pull, wishing it was a stronger blend. Is that the kind of information Starbuck was looking for? That Mars had a lighter touch than Dante? No, she would keep that to herself. Starbuck didn't need to know the Borays he was working for, or he might lead his own revolt.

"Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing," she mused. "Frak the Zakar. We could take the Galactica." She took another drag knowing that would never happen. Kenan had tried organizing a revolt. It had gotten him killed.

She focused on a star out the view port just to keep her mind from wandering. It had been several sectons since she'd thought about Kenan. She missed his golden honey brown eyes, and the way he looked at her, the spark of anger turning his eyes to fire before he leapt into the fight. He wasn't afraid to throw a punch or twenty to keep her safe. He fought for her and she tended to his wounds nearly as often as he tended to hers. He would have fought for her today had he been there. He would be scouring the corridors of the Galactica searching for whoever had laid hands on her. She had worried about him, but he'd held his own even against Agenor. He'd fought for her until the day he never came back.

Is that what she wanted Starbuck to do, fight for her? She looked over to the back of his chair at the table, listening to him delegate chores and details. The Rats relied on him, far more than they ever had Kenan. Without Starbuck, they'd be lost. She couldn't go back to the way it was before the Galactica came along. She didn't want the life she'd had before Starbuck.

She shivered, recalling some of the worst days of that life. Not the destruction, no, that had been impersonal and devastated everyone's life. Everyone suffered together, and somehow that made it better? Easier? They were all fraked that day.

No, the worst was when Kenan failed to return, and his baby came early and was lost. The inevitable summons to Dante's office. She had a quota to fulfill and with Kenan and the baby gone, that meant it was Dante's choice on who would be the father. She'd tried to avoid her commander, floating from patrol to foundry duty to slipping into the woods at night. It only worked for a few days. His lackeys had been waiting for her to land after a patrol. They'd hauled her from the cockpit as she fought, dragging her to Dante's office, dumping her on his floor, only to haul her back up to Dante's command to have her stripped.

He didn't speak to her until he was done, pulling her head back by her hair and putting his lips to her ear. "You have a quota to meet. Failure to provide will result in punishment. You will return to your duty and you will come when summoned or you will be locked in my quarters." He had let go of her, ignoring her as she dressed and was allowed to leave.

No, Dante did not exchange pleasantries.

She made that walk of shame in the dark, debating which star in the night sky might be a safe haven for her and the fellow Caprican refugees. Jake met her halfway, an ambrosia in one hand and plant vapors in the other. They walked past their crude home and into the woods. They made a pact with their bodies, fraking in the dark like their lives depended on it. They didn't need words to say what they both decided. The next child would be Jake's.

When they weren't flying, they were fraking. Jake stole drugs to help her shed any embryo that might be made with Dante. Between the abortion drugs and the ambrosia's she was drowning in, she was surprised when she did conceive. It wasn't an easy pregnancy. Then came the day when the doctor confirmed it was a girl, and more importantly not Dante's.

Dante did not tolerate disobedience. He had a long range plan, tracking every child to improve and enhance the gene pool. Rene suspected Dante had already decided who the kids would breed with, as if they were nothing more than his personal livestock.

Making more Sewer Rats and Gutter Trash was not in his had whipped her himself and she had wished it was Mars instead. "Contrast and contradictions will help you to guess the theme," her secondary literature instructor had told her often. What was the message, that she'd prefer Mars as a leader than Dante? They were both cruel and life was often painful.

Was it a blessing that she couldn't remember the rest of the pregnancy? Her duties were probably doubled. The delivery was just flashes of panic and pain. She remembered Jake having to leave her so he could beg someone to take his patrol. It felt like she was alone for centaurs. The day bled into night with no progress. She remembered Jake sterilizing knives by firelight, and checking a data pad on what to do if he had to cut the baby out. She would never forget that pain when the baby finally came, then Kalea's weak cries that only grew weaker. She was terrified they'd lose her, just like Kenan's son.

Rene held her breath now as the memory cascaded in her mind, Kalea's weak cries and the image of Kenan's son, so small his head fit in Jake's hand.. They superimposed like double vision and she felt like she was falling into her rift she had discovered in a dream. If only this was all just a dream.

Kenan's baby had come early, and struggled to breathe until he just stopped. That was the nightmare, the long interval between the breaths the baby took as she held her own breath praying Kenan's son would live. Jake was able to revive him not once but twice. The medic had come because Kenan had been a Colonial so his child mattered somewhat.

But the medic wasn't trained in pediatrics, just in war wounds. They helplessly watched the baby's chest rise, and fall, and not rise again. They hadn't bothered to name him and Jake buried the body somewhere in the woods coming back so drunk he was stumbling.

She'd fine tuned her ability to jump after that, but where was she to go? It had been overwhelming, space was vast. Plus it had been so hard to make decisions when all she really wanted to do was stay drunk or high. Her thinking had been impaired, and now she wished she hadn't wasted so much damn time.

Kiff reached up to touch her face, "Mama?"

"It's okay" she said absently, pulling him closer, trying to reassure him that the men in the room weren't angry at him. He was safe and okay. Kalea had survived and they were all safe here. But were they? She held him closer and tried not to think about the Cylons out there just past their scanner range. She was sitting in the worst place to be if there was an attack, a vulnerable viewport. She looked back to the table full of everyone she cared for. "At least we'll go together," she thought before chastising herself. "We don't think that way," she mumbled aloud. "We survive."

Kiff snuggled in closer and she took another long drag as she listened to the meeting wind down. Then Starbuck was there, gathering up her daughter, and wrapping his arm around her. She couldn't look at him, afraid she'd blurt out every thought in her head. He deserved so much better than her.

His apologies to her were unnecessary. He had busted his astrum today trying to keep them safe and make life better. What had gone wrong today had nothing to do with him. But then he read her thoughts that were still focused on Kenan and his child.

"Well I intend to die trying."

She couldn't take one more death that was her fault. If Starbuck went, she was going with him . "No, you bloody won't." She gripped his hand hard, her eyes boring into his. "Do you understand me? I can't take that again."

He had received the message, his eyes going steely gray as he shifted his grip, pulling her hand towards his heart.

"I'm not going anywhere without you. You and me, alive and well. All of us, surviving and thriving."

She shivered at his words, closing her eyes as the memory materialized in her mind, his strangled protests as Dante brought the hammer down on her hand. She flinched at the blow.

"Rene?"

His words brought her back as he squeezed the hand harder. "I'm okay," she lied.

"We're calling it a night. Come on Kiff. Jason and Lara are going to Crius's. Our quarters are pretty tight."

He got to his feet pulling Kiff from her arms before reaching out a hand to help her up. He called Jake over, handing him the kids before guiding her to the door. Jolly was there waiting. He gave her a sympathetic smile as he said, "I missed out on the last sleepover, so if you don't mind, I'd like to stay the night."

She didn't really have a choice, but she liked Jolly, so she bantered back, "I'll make room for you in my bed. Starbuck can sleep on the floor."

"Like hades I will," Starbuck grumbled good naturedly. "Jolly can find his own gal. You're all mine."

"That's okay, I'll take this pretty one," Jolly said, reaching to pick up little Leia who snuggled into his arms. Smiling made Rene's face hurt, but she couldn't help herself. Jolly had a way with the kids. Despite his size, Jolly's easy going manner had been infectious and she had trusted him from their first meeting. Starbuck was lucky she hadn't met Jolly first. She might have told Jolly everything.

They headed down the corridor to the quarters she had coerced out of Adama during her first few nights on the Galactica. They had become home and she would hate to give them up, despite the fact that they were far too small for her growing family. They had left a few of the paintings she had done on the walls, and Jolly headed towards one with Leia in his arms while Jake wrestled Kiff and Kalea into the turbo to get them washed up. Starbuck insisted she sit on the bed, as he undid her boots, taking the time to put them in their proper place by the door rather than where she usually just tossed them near the bed. He headed for the food prep area bringing back a cold pack for her eye and a small glass of something amber. "The color of Kenan's eyes," she mumbled, trying to let the memory go.

Starbuck didn't hear her, or maybe he did and chose to ignore it as he handed her the drink. "You looked like you could use one and if my kid is anything like me, he will appreciate this too."

Was this the time to tell him she wondered? She had counted the chromosomes with Salik, checking both of them for any abnormalities from all the jumping she had done. She knew their sex. So far they were healthy. The only fear now was how long she would be able to carry them as Salik had enough scans of her to compile a full medical history. He hadn't liked what he'd learned, and he was taking the time to reacquaint himself with neonatal care. He didn't think she'd make it to the magical due date. "Not many women with twins go to full term," he had told her.

"Then it will be even sooner that I can get in a cockpit and get us out of danger," she had replied.

She must have said her thoughts aloud as Starbuck shook his head at her. "That's my job. Yours is to keep working with Peryton and taking it easy."

"Yes sir, Captain Gold Clusters," she said before taking a slow sip of the glass in her hand. It was the good stuff, smooth and warm, igniting in her visions of Peryton's home. The fire in the hearth, the comfortable sofa, Starbuck's arms around her as he kept reminding the two of them that they were safe from the Cylons. It had been such a contrast to the cold blinding white cells of their captivity. The warm orange glow of Peryton's home, the smell of the rain and the mud and the smoke from the burning wood fire; she yearned for that moment of peace and safety, instead of these gray bleak walls.

She downed the rest of the liquid in one gulp to chase away the fantasy. This was the reality for now. Starbuck took the drink from her trembling hand. "Sit back, I need to go help Jake and Jolly." He drew her hand up to hold the ice pack to her eye and she slid back on the bed, not intending to fall asleep, but to watch the men in her life take care of her kids.

It was not a fight she could win as her eyelids grew heavy.

She woke to Jake's hand tapping her shoulder, their usual signal it was time to get up and go. The room was darker, lit by just two of the lamps rather than the overhead lights. She could hear Starbuck's voice from across the room as he read from one of his favorite stories to the kids.

"On the Galactica, just before sleep cycle," Jake said, helping her to orient herself. "Making sure the concussion doesn't kill you. Need to see you awake every few hours."

She nodded, knowing that made sense, and feeling like she had been somewhere else, but couldn't remember where. She slid from the bed, moving too fast as she rose and her vision swam. Jake grabbed her arm to hold her up. She'd reached that stage of pregnancy where she always had to pee and always was light headed when she stood. "Got you," Jake said as she kept her feet planted and waited for the Battlestar to stop spinning. "Need help?"

Starbuck had stopped reading and was trying to disengage himself from the kids in his arms, but she waved them all to stay. "I'm okay," she said, heading for the turbo, where she was able to shut and lock the door before anyone could join her. She tried to vomit quietly into the sink, tasting the ambrosia as it came up, not as sweet as it was before. She took the time to brush her teeth before emptying her bladder and coming back out. Jake was there waiting for her, looking like he was about to come in after her. She couldn't resist going to him, wrapping her arms around him, just needing to feel something familiar in this crazy place.

Instinctually he took her in his arms, his cheek against hers. She breathed in his familiar scent, wishing for just a moment that the two of them were back in the woods of Dilmun, or better yet, the woods of Caprica.

"Rene, Starbuck's here," he warned, starting to pull away, but she needed this, the feel of something she knew, something that didn't expect anything from her, just took her as she was, fraked up and damaged.

"I saw Ari," she said.

Jake froze, awkwardly still pulling away while hanging on to her. He held the position as he asked quietly, "Before or after the punch to the face."

"Before, in the council chambers. He was in a dress uniform and he looked…he looked well fed and …he wasn't worried."

Jake looked her deep in the eyes before he pulled her close again. "That's good to know."

"No, it was the old guy who showed me."

"What old guy?" Jake asked

A shiver rippled his shoulders as she whispered, "Iblis."

Jake motioned with his hand, and Starbuck was there, wrapping his arms around her as Jake tried to slide her from his arms into Starbuck's, but she stepped away from both of them.

"You need to tell him Jake. You need to tell him what you've been looking for, why you visit all those ships."

Starbuck's head shifted quickly between the two of them, and Jake looked away. "I meant to ask," Starbuck said. "You're not looking for another place to live, are you?"

"He should know," Rene reached for Jake again, grasping the hand that was at his side.

She turned to Starbuck, noting the confusion and concern on his features.

Rene spoke to clear up his confusion. "Iblis showed up on every single ship that Jake has visited. The people all saw him, not on vid, in person.." She squeezed Jake's hand hard at the look of fear that flashed across Starbuck's face.

"Is that what you were looking for?" Starbuck asked him, but Jake shook his head.

Jake's voice was rough as he answered. "I was looking for my older brother."

Starbuck's concern deepened as he said, "You could just check fleet records. They are up to date and…" He hesitated as both Rene and Jake shook their heads no.

"He wouldn't be on any records." Jake replied.

"I don't understand? If he's here, he will be accounted for."

Jake looked to Rene, saying softly, "I thought you told him my history."

"Some of it. Not all of it. Not my story to tell," Rene said, reaching a hand to Starbuck, squeezing it twice. He got the message like she knew he would.

"I'm listening," Starbuck said, placing a hand on Jake's shoulder.

"Too much to tell. All you need to know is I have a family that lived outside of the law and if anyone was going to survive the apocalypse, they would. But they wouldn't want to wind up on any records, at least not by their real names or they'd wind up on that prison barge. And I checked there first. No one with any resemblance."

Starbuck nodded, easily accepting the information and Rene was reminded once again why she liked him so much. He understood and didn't need dirty details to grasp a story. "They might contact you. You're pretty famous after our sealing celebration."

"Not that easy to contact other ships, not from the smaller ones anyway," Jake clarified. "And my brother wouldn't use anything official. Or he might not contact me at all. I was up there in a dress uniform. Can't get more law abiding than Colonial Warrior."

Starbuck chuckled. " Then they don't really know you, do they? Your private pharmacy is going to get you in trouble eventually."

"Not unless someone like you turns me in," Jake countered. "Most people appreciate what I have to offer as their private medic."

Starbuck squeezed Rene's hand twice. She was unsure of the message, but Starbuck tried to reassure Jake. "I do appreciate it and it won't be me that reports it. I'm not that kind of rat, now am I? I thought I was your kind of rat, Sewer Rat." Starbuck squeezed her hand again before turning to her. "I think the Commander needs to know what you have found. We didn't know that information and Count Iblis won the populace over very quickly. We didn't understand at the time why but this helps explain. You've seen him, I mean recently?"

She nodded her head, "Yeah, today, when Crius dropped me off at the council chambers. He," she hesitated trying to choose her words carefully as Starbuck tensed as if for battle. "Iblis promised me things he can't give me. But then you say he brought Apollo back to life so maybe he can?"

Starbuck shook his head no, looking at Jake then to her before speaking. "It was the ship of lights that brought him back, not Iblis. Plus I don't think Apollo was all the way dead, and I had his body if he was. I have no idea how this works, my medical knowledge is just where the body parts are that liked to be kissed. Iblis did deliver on some of his promises, but like you always say Rene, there is a cost. Not sure what it would have been other than following him, but he never said where he was going. I like to know my destination before I start on a journey, and I sure as hades want to know the cost. You don't pay the ferryman until he gets you to the other side."

"So we're going to Earth, wherever that is?" she asked, hoping he would give her the coordinates and she could verify if the ones Athena had were the same.

"For now. We have coordinates. We're not lost." Starbuck answered confidently.

"And what are they?" Jake asked, not needing a signal from her to know where she was headed.

Starbuck looked down, shaking his head before looking at Jake and then her again. "You two. The coordination flying is impressive. You win, but in the morning. I think we need to let Adama know this information and I will pay for it with the coordinates to Earth. But in the morning. I'm tired. No one is going anywhere tonight except to bed." He started to turn away, but turned back again, "Oh and one more thing. You are going to agree to let Jason start his Cadet training. He shouldn't be saddled with all the kids. He should have a choice on what he wants to be."

Rene tried to drop Starbuck's hand, but he held on tight as she took a step away. Jake protested, "That's not your decision. It's ours!"

Starbuck held on to the two of them, his voice rising to meet Jake's level. "Explain to me why? He's old enough, older than you two were when you left your homes for the streets. So help me to understand!"

"Get your hand off me!" Jake sneered, and Starbuck complied, holding the hand up in surrender. But he held on to Rene's hand as Jake shot her a glare. "He doesn't get it and I don't think he ever will."

"Not when I don't know the reasons why, no I won't. You two have to communicate more than just waving your hands around." Starbuck countered.

Rene shrugged and it turned into a shiver that shook her whole body. She wasn't sure how to explain the moment, deep in the sewers of Caprica, when the tunnel narrowed and Jason and Nari's parents couldn't fit. They had thrust the children at Rene and Jake, begging them to keep their kids safe, before they turned back, leading the Cylons away while the rest crawled on hands and knees in the dark, hoping the tunnel led somewhere they could find refuge..

How did she explain that promise made in the stinking dark to desperate parents, willing to give their lives to save their children? Nothing could erase the image of the mother's face as she begged, tears streaming down as she said her passionate goodbyes to her children. Not cylon brain scans or any knock to the head could remove that face, maybe because it had become her own a time or two. Rene understood now the deep despair of that moment, just wanting your children to live.

How could she express to Starbuck how they had failed with Nari, losing the little girl in the dark network, turning back, trying to trace their frantic escape only to find the child, drowned in a pool of muck. There were a million ways to die that day. She'd vowed she'd keep Jason and Nari safe.

How did she explain when Dante had shoved Jason in viper? She and Jake hadn't been there, already in the sky fighting when Jason's voice was on the comm, screaming for help, for direction. He had actually shot down a raider. Only the Lords of Kobol know how he'd survived the battle. But he had no idea how to land. It's where Rene quickly figured out the maneuver to line up wings with another craft and guide it to the ground, the same move that had saved Boomer on Caprica. She and Jake each had taken a side, willing to sacrifice their lives for the risky move, while Crius lectured Jason on how to land, not Crius's first time having to give an impromptu lesson in the air.

She shivered again as she knew what she wanted from Iblis. She would follow that unknown entity anywhere he wanted to go if he could guarantee the kid's would live free of danger. She would have done it already except she knew far too well the truth. Death was stronger than any power in the universe. Their lives were fragile. No one could give her any guarantees.

"He'll be safe if that's what you're worried about," Starbuck offered.

"Starbuck," she said in a rush of breath turning into a sigh. "Don't. Just don't."

He read the message on her face, letting go of her hand, raising both of them in surrender. But he kept talking.

"I understand, I do. It's risky being a pilot, but you both know that being able to fight back, to defend yourself is the safest position to be in. Let him learn those skills. We will make sure he knows his viper and how to fly before he launches. We will give him the ability to fight back. He needs that. He's struggling here without it. You can't keep him safe forever. You can't hold him back."

"Dammit," Rene muttered under her breath. "Damn you and your fraking gold clusters."

"Why not," Jake said in defeat. "You're right, we can't even keep ourselves safe. I'm not sure why I even bother."

Starbuck winced at his words, reaching out again for him as Jake turned away. "Hey, not like that. You've done a great job with the kids in a lot of tough situations. Better than most could. Final decision is yours. I'm just saying you should consider Jason's feelings on the matter. He wants to be a warrior. Why not let him? Has it been that bad for you knowing how to hit them back? You seem to like being a pilot, and a medic."

Rene shook her head at Starbuck's words. It had not been their choice, any of it. Jake was a medic by necessity because he cared too much and had lost too much. How could she explain that to the man who won everything and rarely lost?

"Starbuck," she tried again, but he kept talking, proving once again why he was the winner of those gold clusters.

"We can keep him and all of us safer by using the talents that we have. You have a talent Jake for keeping us safe and healthy. You and Rene have held together a group that was vulnerable and defenseless. You've faced the enemy, cylon and human, and you've found a way to survive. You did that by sticking together and your creative thinking. You've found the talents in others and used that. Let Jason contribute too. Let him help make us all stronger. Jason does a great job with the little ones and I think that will translate well into being a warrior."

Jake was quiet, absorbing Starbuck's words. He looked to her and she nodded in resignation, before looking to Starbuck. He took the cue and continued.

"It's because of you that Dante even took Rene and Jason and Lara off Caprica. You saved them. You helped them survive on the Zakar and on Dilmun. You were wise enough to get them here in the fleet where they are even safer. You have done a great job with Jason. Now let me help you. I know I can't guarantee we are all going to make it to Earth, but I can guarantee that we are going to do our damndest to make that happen. I will personally see that he has the skills he needs. I will be there, every step of the way. . Together we can make it."

Jake nodded, his whole body shaking at the motion as something broke inside him. Rene wasn't sure what it was that cracked, but Starbuck understood, pulling Jake in, wrapping his arms around her friend, speaking softly in his ear.

"You did a great job. Now let me help."

8Jake never actually returned the hug, but he stood there letting Starbuck reassure him for a good centon before he moved away. Starbuck let him, but still kept a hand on his shoulder, squeezing lightly as he said, "We don't have to decide now. We can talk about it in the morning. You can move the kids to the bed with us and have the couch to yourself."

"I'm okay," Jake said, looking at Kiff, awake and wide-eyed taking in the conversation even if he didn't understand it. "In the morning," he said reaching for Rene's shoulder, pulling her to him, holding on tight. She could feel the broken edges of him, and she held on to keep him from crumbling.

"He's right. You have done a great job," she whispered to him as his arms shook. She pitched her voice even lower, so only he could hear, "You and me, nothing changes the pact we made."

He held on, whispering only her name. Starbuck let them stay that way, not reaching out to join them, but not moving away either. Jake finally seemed to sense his presence, pulling himself together and letting go of her as if suddenly aware he should let go.

"We'll talk in the morning brother," Starbuck said, reaching for her hand, a subtle signal that he was part of all this, whatever this was. He led Rene to the bed, getting her settled before he stripped off his uniform and crawled in. He set his chrono before taking her in his arms. He whispered to her, "Someday you need to explain to me what just happened there."

She started to speak, but Starbuck silenced her with a kiss. "Someday, but not today. It's been a fraked up day and this is the only thing that has gone right, that you are here in my arms. Let me just enjoy that."

"Yes dear," she said with a sweetness that was a little too thick.

"Words I like to hear," he replied.